by Kiki Howell
Through the thick tree’s, I notice a bright light shining and I call out to Pan. The light becomes brighter until I have no choice but to close my eyes and I can no longer feel Pan’s presence.
Chapter Five
I HEAR PAN’S struggle and his feral growls. Finally, when the brightness diminishes, I open my eyes and when my sight is able to focus, I see the towering back of Zeus.
How do I know it’s him?
Well for one his size, the curly blond hair and his purple, knee-length chiton. And the obvious sign, Zeus has a natural golden glow to him. Although his back is facing me, I know without a doubt it’s him.
“What are you doing?” Zeus demands and his voice is sonorous and powerful. I feel the tremble against my flesh and I know that he is not talking to me. Zeus is talking to Pan.
Oh no!
I scramble to the other side to see that Zeus has Pan by his throat. His hindquarters are not able to touch the ground and Pan is struggling to breathe. He tries to fight against Zeus’s iron grip but is unprevailing.
“Zeus!” I scream. “It is not his fault, I asked to be taken to earth.” It was the truth. “I was not taken against my will.”
“That is not of importance, Pan knows very well of the decree.”
The decree is that I am to never walk on earth. The ruling was given and has been around for as long I’ve existed. I am not only the goddess of the moon, but I am a Titan goddess. I have a very important role within the cosmo's and it’s not just me alone who shares the burden. It’s Eos, my sister who is the goddess of dawn and Helios, my brother, the god of the sun. Together we are to hold the balance within the universe.
We are not like the Olympian gods, for our purpose is far greater than theirs. If we do not stay true to the balance, we will thrust both the mortal realm and Olympus into eternal chaos. I do not know what that means and nor have I ever questioned anything my entire life. I have accepted my life and responsibilities. I have never gone against what I have been told, until most recently.
It all started when I became enthralled with the earth.
Without a word, Zeus hurled Pan into the air and his body smacks into a tree and he falls to the ground. Pan groans terribly and I try to go to him.
Zeus grabs my arms, “We are going to return to Olympus.”
“That was uncalled for,” I yell at him and I begin to experience hot emotions raging inside of me. Why am I feeling this?
Zeus shakes his head, his curly blond hair falling above his eyebrows. He narrows his lethal blue eyes on me, “Gaea has expressed clear worries about you and your siblings.” Gaea is the mother of all beings, mortals and immortals alike. She is the only one, who Zeus listens to.
“I have done no wrong?” I say quietly and I can’t believe my own words.
Haven’t you? Wonders a voice in the back of my head.
You can’t think straight. You doubt yourself and other’s around you, and now you are feeling sensations like never before. You allowed Pan to make you feel things like never before.
Zeus’s gaze softens, “It’s what Gaea wants.” And with those final words, he focuses his attention to Pan who is now getting up from off the ground. “If you bring Selene back here again, I promise you a century in the underworld. If you so much as talk to Selene in Olympus, I will put a thousand talons into your flesh from the Erinyes.”
The Erinyes are deities but they are not like gods. They uphold justice, whether it's in the mortal realm or Olympus. They were born from Gaea and the blood of Uranus. Their talons are lethal to gods. It will not kill us because gods do not die but it can do tremendous damage.
Not waiting for Pan to respond, there’s another blinding light and before you know it, I am back home. I focus my eyes and I see the same night sky as the mortal realm, with the stars and the moon. I also notice that I am on the highest peak on Mount Olympus. It is known as the Mytikas and here on the highest mountain is where Zeus’ palace resides.
A sweet aroma fills my lungs and I turn to see the ΜΗΛΟ tree. Pronounced Meelo. It’s a tree that grows succulent golden apples. Also behind me is Zeus, standing tall and mighty.
I cross my arms, “I would have returned.”
“That is far from the point.”
“Pan and I did nothing wrong,”
“Pan knows very well of the lines he crossed,”
I argued, “I asked him to bring me to earth,”
“Pan brought you to earth for selfish reasons. He always wants, what he cannot have. Every move he makes is for his own pleasantries. Do yourself a favor Selene and remember that,”
Glowering on the god, I argue. “Pan has not been selfish with me,”
“Hasn’t he? You foolish goddess, Pan is only consumed with desires.”
“You cannot make me believe your words,”
“Selene, I am not telling you lies. Tell me, has he told you about his flute and how it came to be,”
The flute that Pan always wears around his neck and he never takes it off. “What about it?”
“Pan became obsessed with a nymph, who did not care for him. If he could not have her, no one else could. Pan put a spell on her to make the nymph desire him, but the only problem was that the spell would wear off. During one of those moments when the spell was weak, the nymph used a charm to escape Pan and she unknowingly turned herself into reeds. Those same reeds pan took them and turned them into his flute. Pan does not care about anyone other than himself and if he claims otherwise you would be a fool to believe it.”
How can that be possible when the nymphs adore Pan?
On a sigh, I turn away from Zeus frustrated and not wanting to believe him.
I hear him behind me, “We are not here to discuss Pan, you disobeyed Gaea. Why can you not see that you and your siblings are special not just to her but to our entire existence? I know I don’t have to tell you about the balance; you understand it. You live it every day of your life, but understand that Gaea has had a hard life with her children. She only wants what is best for everyone,”
“You are wrong,” I swivel on my heel, to face the god of all gods. “I do not fully understand my place within the cosmos. I get it to one extent but I still have questions and-”
Zeus interrupts, “This is the first time you have thought to question your place.” I nod my head, feeling overwhelmed. Yes, from the beginning of time Gaea has told my siblings and me about our purpose. But up until recently, there was not a reason for me to ask any questions. The thought was just not there.
Watching me carefully he continues, “Selene, why are you now questioning your place?”
“Because I don’t understand?”
“Did you understand it before?”
Yes, no. I don’t know.
I shrug unsure of an answer. I never questioned anything before, but that doesn’t mean I understood it. At the time, I hadn’t known that I had no understanding.
Unable to give him a response, Zeus informs. “Selene you seem unhinged,” He is making note of my emotions because I never used to get upset.
“I don’t understand how visiting earth would disrupt the balance,”
“It is not you visiting Earth that Gaea is afraid of. She worries about the temptations that you will encounter and she wants to keep you safe,”
“Safe from situations that one cannot control?”
“Safe from life. Safe from distractions. Safe from anything that would disrupt the balance, because the balance isn’t there for no reason. The mortals and the immortals need you and your siblings. Temptations can change and distract you from your purpose. Gaea knows that the balance cannot be threatened and you cannot deny that you have changed,”
When I don’t say anything to argue his point, Zeus continues. “From now on, if you step a foot on earth the Erinyes will come for you. If you think for a moment that you can outsmart me and return before the Erinyes finds you, you will deal with Horai.”
The Horai guards the gates of Olympus and they a
re the goddess of law and order.
Glaring at him, I cannot believe his words. “You would not dare,”
“It’s an extreme measure but it’s needed.”
I shake my head, backing away from Zeus and I clutch my hand to my chest, “That’s absurd.”
“You brought us here to this extreme,” And swiftly Zeus strides toward me and takes my hand. With his other hand, Zeus pulls out a hidden dagger and cuts the middle of my palm. I cry out with the sudden pain and ichor begins bleeding from my palm.
Zeus begins chanting, “From blood, you were born from blood I summon thee.”
It doesn’t take long before the shadows around us begin to move and suddenly a dark form emerges. The shadow is not the true form of the Erinyes.
Zeus releases my hand and the cut on my palm has already healed, but still, I clutch it my chest.
Zeus commands to the shadow that if I step a foot on earth, they are to bring me back to Olympus. The shadow disappears without a word, but I’m guessing it understood everything that was said.
Glowering on the gods of all gods, there are many words that I want to tell him but can’t and not because he is Zeus. I can’t because if I open my mouth, too many words will come out at once and I won’t make sense. Not to mention the volume of my tone will no doubt rise. The fury of emotions swirling inside of me feels like they will explode if I open my mouth.
Inhaling deeply, I chose to keep my mouth shut and Zeus dismisses me.
I HADN’T REALIZED THAT my thoughts had carried me away. It wasn't until I felt the warm, feather-light strokes pulling me back to reality. A red orb floats by my head, no bigger than the palm of my hand.
The orb has a long, soft golden-red tail. I lift my hand to embrace it, but the tail disperses around my hand, leaving warm tingles in its wake. I giggle with the sensations and see speckles of red and gold dust from the contact. The dust will go away soon—it never lasts—but it’s fun to touch, to feel.
I know Eos has started her ceremonial dance that will awaken the sun for Olympus and Earth. Hurriedly I pace to the golden circular landing decorated with markings. Up ahead, I see Eos moving in such a way that all the orbs are gravitating toward her. It’s her ceremonial dance to part the skies and awaken the sun. Eos has caramel skin, opposed to mine that is pearly white in comparison. She has long, wavy orange hair that reaches down to her waist and pale lilac eyes.
Our ceremonial dance is something that we cannot deny. It’s a call to our very existence, something that hits right to our core. It’s how we control the balance. To keep both the mortal realm and Olympus from slipping into eternal chaos.
I take a seat on the ledge of a pearly white fountain and watch my sister. Her arms extend and the orbs swirl around them in a beautiful flow, moving with her. Eos closes her eyes and with the movement of her feet, her hair sways behind her back. Some of the red orbs disperse into red dust, and new ones descend into her steps.
My skin begins to tingle with a burst of warmth and happiness.
Even though I’ve been going through a lot, one thing that never changes is watching my siblings perform their ceremonial dance. All of us has our own dance to perform.
It’s familiar and fills me with immense felicity. I can’t help but dismiss my worries and allow its soft arms to embrace me back home.
Watching my sister is an affirmation that I am home.
Around me, the many crimson orbs begin to dissolve into dust and disappear. Gaea has told us that the orbs are the prayers from mortals. Our ceremonial dance bequeaths their desires.
My skin becomes temporarily embellished with red dust.
When Eos finds my gaze, I smile at my sister, who returns the gesture. She steps off the golden landing, walks toward me and gives me a hug. Inhaling, I take in her aroma: a powerful, musky, sweet scent. Always sweet, like her personality.
Thick waves of her orange hair fall over her shoulders when she withdraws. Eos extends an arm, her hand caressing my face. “My dearest Selene, what are we going to do with you?” Eos is gentle in her embrace but her wide pupils are full of concern.
She continues. “I feel like I only see you when it’s time to complete your ceremonial duties.”
Dropping my gaze, I reply. “I know, I’ve been withdrawn lately...”
“What has your mind so occupied?”
Biting down on my bottom lip, I look anywhere but at my sister. I don’t want her to see my strife. Eos does not have those abilities per se—but I know the opposing emotions are swirling inside of me. Two forces raging for control, they claw at my insides with an unforgiving fury. Two forces demanding to be unleashed.
One slip of a word, an action and I’m afraid of the outcome.
Before I am able to answer, Eos splashes me with water, “Since you’re already soaked, I figured you won’t mind.” She smiles and I squeal with the cool liquid that had splashed my face.
“Oh, you’re gonna get it,” I tell her and standing up I step into the fountain. Eos turns to run away and I thrust the water at her back. She screams arching her spine and laughs. Here, my water abilities don’t work but I can still have fun.
Turning on her heel, Eos runs and jumps into the fountain declaring a water war.
Chapter Six
THE FOLLOWING NIGHT Helios, my brother and I are racing through the Olympian skies. Everything is moving at a fast pace and the skies are sweeping by me in a blur. My sight is invaded with images and streaks. Massive structures, of white and golden blurs. I am unable to make out a single shape because of the speed of my horses.
My chariot curves around the Mytikas flushed with green trees and a beautiful waterfall that cascades down the side of the mountain. Colors and aromas interlace together, as I don’t slow down my chariot. I make a call my two horses understand and whip the reins. They drive forward at full speed, dashing through the sky. At a distance, I see the shimmering Olympian gates.
I take a chance to look behind me and see my brother catching up to me at an astonishing speed.
Helios yells out, “You will not defeat me!”
With a smile, I focus ahead and without halt allow my horses to rush through the gates, bursting them wide open. I let the mares take steep dive, straight toward the earth. Animosity raises my neck hair with anxiousness. I balance my feet with a horrible sinking feeling inside of my stomach and my nerves boost the adrenal glands into full throttle. Excitement consumes my body.
I hear Helios yelling my name. He hates it when I take such dramatic dives; it gives him a fright, which is why I love to do it.
Down below, I see the luscious lands fast approaching. A quick pull of the reins and I’m lifted back into the air. My carriage is soaring and further in the sky, Helios passes me and I whip the reins to speed up.
HELIOS HAD WON THE first round and truthfully I was distracted. Or maybe I let him win on purpose.
While Helios and I were getting our horses ready I found a sack on the ground of my chariot. Opening it, I found a green ring and a letter with Pan’s handwriting. It states that the ring is his gift for me and it will allow me to go to earth unnoticed. Pan must have gotten the ring knowing that we were going to get caught eventually.
Either way, I kept on getting distracted because the ring was green. I could not stop thinking about the human’s eyes. How captivating and vibrant they had seemed.
Glancing back down on my hand, I think about Pan’s letter.
Was it true and I could walk the earth without Zeus or Gaea finding out?
I want to test it, are my curious thoughts and I know that’s a big risk but I can’t fight off the urge. Maybe I can see the human again?
What if it doesn’t work?
It has too, I tell myself.
After all, why would Pan give me something that didn’t work? Simple answer, he wouldn’t. The downside, if it didn’t work then the Erinyes would come after me. If I made it back to Olympus before the Erinyes got a hold of me, I would have to deal with the Horai.
Either option is not good. Both options will get me in trouble, and I would like to avoid that at all cost.
Every move he makes is for his own pleasantries. Is what Zeus has warned me but how true could that be when Pan showed me the mortal realm when I asked? He took a chance on me, despite knowing that Zeus and Gaea were against me leaving Olympus. How selfish could one be when they are risking the wrath of Zeus?
Zeus and Gaea are the selfish ones. They are the ones keeping me and siblings confined, afraid of the unknown. Why can we not experience the mortal realm and still keep the balance?
I don’t understand why it has to be one way or another.
On a heavy exhale, I glide through the sky no longer seeing Helios’s chariot. At the corner of my eye, I see the ring glistening and I pull on the reins. The chariot turns with the swift gesture and in the back of my mind, I am trying to talk myself out of my next plan of action.
I know that I am wrong for continuing to plow through the sky with one intent, but I can’t see myself going anywhere else. I look down on the ring once again and I remember the human had wanted to see me again.
Hovering in the sky, I see the vast ocean with the moonlight shining on the surface. I see the mortal standing on the shore, while his horse is off to the side. I watch him swinging his hand and see something skid across the water.
What is he doing?
I watch him do it again, and I realize that he is skipping rocks along the surface of the water. When he does it again, I lift my hand and a heavy wave comes up and throws off the balance of the rock. He tries again and I have the water return back his rock. He does it again and this time I have the water part, so his rock falls straight to the sandy ground.
Endymion turns with that last one and arches his head back, to look up at my chariot in the sky.
He has a frown furrowing his brows but it doesn’t stay there for very long because he smiles and I smile back. I lower the chariot taking a chance on the ring, and when my horses land on the ground beneath it, I’m holding my breath.
