by Kiki Howell
“Did you sleep at all last night?” he asked me.
No. “I was busy packing.”
“Promise me something?” he asked. “If, Odin forbid, this ever happens again, call me immediately.”
“Yeah yeah,” I said dismissively, not wanting to get into it or think about it happening.
My drinks came and after chugging my water, I started drinking my margarita.
“Yes,” I sighed after a long drink.
“Tomorrow, I’m going to heal your soul,” he informed me.
“Will it hurt?” I asked curiously.
“Have I ever hurt you before?” he asked with a smirk.
Once. We were playing in the forest, the entire pack and I. They were in wolf form and Tysen tackled me while I was running from them. He had tackled me many times before, but what we both didn’t know was that there was a rock on the ground. My head hit the ground and he stumbled, one of his claws scratching my arm.
He noticed my frown and said, “That was an accident. I never would have tackled you if I had known that rock was there. Plus, I was trying to avoid hurting you when I ended up scratching you.”
“I trust you,” I replied. “I know that you hadn’t meant to hurt me that day.”
As we ate dinner, I felt myself falling into the familiarity of being with Tysen. He was calm, even if the roof was caving in, he would slowly get up and carry me out. Okay, maybe he would run to keep us from getting squished, but he would still be calm about it.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked.
I hadn’t realized he was looking at me since he was signing the receipt.
“How calm you always are,” I admitted.
“Is that a bad thing?”
I shook my head. “It’s refreshing actually.”
He smiled and waited for me to start walking before following. My first few steps were a bit wobbly, which made me giggle.
“Lightweight,” he teased as he slid his arm around my waist to help support me on the walk to the car. “You’ve lost more weight than I thought you had,” he muttered as he gently squeezed my ribs. I pretended like I had not heard him.
“What am I going to do?” I asked softly as I leaned against the car and he opened the door for me.
“About what?”
“My life.”
He froze and looked at me with a neutral expression. “What do you mean?”
“I’m back to being a middle-aged, single woman with no house.”
“You have a house.”
“That’s your house,” I argued.
“Would you feel better if you paid me rent?” he asked.
“What?” I asked and blinked stupidly.
He took advantage of my shock to get me into the car and buckle my seat belt.
We headed towards the Trinity Oaks Subdivision where the duplexes were.
“I can write a contract and you can pay rent for the duplex,” he explained. “We can make it one hundred percent legal and by the books.”
“Really?” I asked in shock. When we were dating, he would have never let me pay for it. He would have insisted that I just live there.
He nodded. “I know that you don’t like being coddled and I respect that. I want to ensure that you’re safe and if that means letting you pay for rent, I’m fine with that.”
It seemed that I wasn’t the only one who had grown these past couple of years.
“You’re different,” I whispered.
He smiled. “You’re just now noticing.”
“What else have you changed your stance on?”
“You’ll have to find out as we go along.”
“Are there going to be rules regarding my using the duplex?” I asked.
“Depends...”
“On?”
“What you want.”
“Can I have parties?”
“You don’t party.”
“Can I play mariachi music?”
“You don’t listen to that anyway.”
We pulled up to his duplex and he helped me out.
“You’re going to stay here tonight, so I can keep an eye on your drunk ass.”
“Such a sweet mouth you have,” I teased him.
“So I’ve been told.” He smiled and chuckled.
“Can I paint the house pink?”
“You hate pink.”
“Can I have men over?”
He paused with his hand on the doorknob. “What?”
“Can I have men over at the duplex? Human men who want to date me? Or maybe non-human men, I haven’t really thought about it.”
He didn’t answer me, instead he opened the door and helped me up the stairs to his room.
“You didn’t answer me.”
“There’s still a pair of your pajamas that you forgot in the bottom drawer,” he informed me and headed towards his bathroom.
“Have any other women worn them since I was last here?”
“No.”
I was fairly certain that he wouldn’t lie to me about that, so I changed into them while he brushed his teeth. Staring at my reflection, I frowned at the woman before me. My hair needed a trim, the split ends were making it look awful. Eyebrows needed some plucking and I needed to remember to put makeup on in the mornings so I could fill them in. I’d lost some weight since the last time I was in Tysen’s house, over two years ago, and I looked older. I tugged on the corner of my eye, fairly certain I had crow’s feet already.
“You’re doing that face that you do when you’re judging yourself,” Tysen whispered from behind me.
I looked up in the mirror to look behind me. He leaned against one of the bedposts of his bed with folded arms and a serious frown of his own. Looking handsome as ever.
“I’m old,” I explained, “and I’ve changed a lot since I was last here.”
On slow, silent feet, he padded across the carpet to stand behind me, his chin just above the top of my head. “Once your soul begins to heal, you’ll notice improvements. You also need to start eating better and working out again. Did you do anything while you lived with Asshat?”
“No,” I realized. I hadn’t worked out while I had been with Jon and he was right that I had developed crappy eating habits. I had lost all of my previously gained muscle mass, the definition in my arms and stomach long gone.
“You’re just as beautiful as you were the day I met you,” he whispered and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. “Even if you can’t see that.”
He always knew what to say. Part of me wondered if it was due to the strange bond we had developed from him healing me, or if it was part of what being a good Alpha meant.
“Why didn’t you say anything to me?” I asked softly. I hadn’t seen him that much over the last year, but he still could have said something during the times that he had seen me.
“Why didn’t I tell you that you needed to eat better and start working out? Maybe because I didn’t want you to think I was a dick. Plus, you were still with him so you most likely would have just fallen back on your habits and it would have made you sad to focus on it.”
“You know that I wouldn’t think you were a dick.” He was one of the few men who I’d met that told a girl to go to the gym, not because he didn’t want her to be fat or he was being insulting, but because he wanted her to be able to protect herself and stay healthy.
“Do you want to go to sleep?” he asked and released me.
“No, I think I’ll watch some TV.”
He grabbed pajamas out of his dresser and nodded. “I’ll meet you down there.”
I paused at the doorway as he took his shirt off. His back was incredibly muscular and would have been perfect for modeling, had it not been for the one, thick white scar that was diagonal from his shoulder to the top of his butt cheek. The only scar he had on his body because he had been trying to save me.
Before he realized I was still there, I hurried down the stairs with a death grip on the railing so I didn’t fall. My hand fumbled f
or the light switch at the bottom of the staircase and eventually found it. The bottom floor of the duplex hadn’t changed. A large flat panel TV took up one wall of the living room and three couches lined the back wall. The kitchen was small, but he had every utensil known to man. Okay, maybe not every utensil, but definitely more than most people had, even chefs. The small dining room had eight pictures around it. One of the entire pack five years ago, the day they officially became a pack of their own. Another of Tysen and Lucas standing next to a five-hundred-pound tuna, they were still very proud of that catch. The last six pictures were of the pack and me playing games and camping together. I stood in front of the very center picture and rested my fingertips on the glass. Tysen and I stood together in the center with the pack around us while we looked up at the full moon. Marco had taken that picture. It was the last picture taken of Tysen and me as a couple.
It was also the last picture taken of Tysen before he gained that scar.
“Old memories shouldn’t hurt you today,” Tysen whispered and wiped tears from my face.
“This is my favorite picture,” I said, even though he already knew that.
He nodded. “It’s one of mine as well, which is why it’s stayed up.”
“That was the night before...” the attack.
“Let the past stay there,” he whispered. With slow, gentle movements, he pushed my hair out of my face and wiped my tears away. “We are alive and that’s all that matters.”
Alcohol made me weepy. I hated being weepy. “Right,” I agreed.
He turned around and went to the living room. “Do you want to watch a movie?” he asked.
“Do you have any new ones since I was last here?” I asked him. I had to stop focusing on the past. Time to move on!
While he looked at the movie collection, I took my favorite spot on the couch, the corner where the L-shaped couch met. The cushions were very fluffy and that spot made me feel like I was being hugged.
“What’s the last movie you watched?” he asked.
What was the last movie I watched? I hadn’t really gone to the movie theater the past year. Jon had always been using the TV so I hadn’t watched movies on the television either.
“I don’t know,” I admitted.
He held up a DVD case to show me the cover. It was a comedy and I had wanted to see it, but I was fairly certain I hadn’t yet. When had I stopped going to movies? I used to go at least once a month.
“Sure,” I agreed. He put the movie in and I wrapped my arms around myself. How come I hadn’t noticed the changes? There were quite a few pretty drastic changes. Had I just been slowly beaten down the last year and I hadn’t been able to notice the progress?
Tysen put the movie in and then sat on the center of the couch. “I know you’ll like this one,” he informed me.
All of my changes the past year had been negative, but Tysen’s changes all seemed to be positive so far. He always seemed perfect. Was he? When had I started adding negatives to him? I had broken up with him, but it hadn’t been because of anything he had done wrong. In fact, he had been the best boyfriend I had ever had in my entire life.
While the previews played, I really looked at Tysen. His chestnut hair was a tad longer than usual, his jaw had stubble, but no more than two days’ worth, and the muscles on his forearms appeared bigger and more defined. Or was that just the alcohol talking?
His skin wasn’t as tan as usual, which meant he had been spending a lot of time indoors. That made sense, since he was an attorney and his business had started booming according to Marco. And it confirmed what I’d thought when looking at his hands.
He looked good, no, great. Had it been a mistake to leave him? Had I wasted two years of our lives apart because I was stupid? Probably. I couldn’t even remember why I had left him to begin with.
The movie started and pulled my attention away from Tysen. We laughed together as the moon rose and I remembered what it meant to be safe.
Chapter Two
THROBBING PAIN IN my head woke me from a peaceful sleep. My mouth stuck together, so dry that it felt like cotton was inside stealing the moisture. It took me a moment to remember where I was after opening my eyes. Tysen’s bedroom. He must have carried me upstairs to the bed after I fell asleep on the couch watching movies. We had watched at least three before I passed out.
I looked behind me, but was shocked that Tysen wasn’t there. Was he already awake?
All of the shifters kept spare toothbrushes in their bathrooms for times when their packmates came to visit. I took one and brushed my teeth and then used some mouth wash as well to try to get rid of the alcohol taste. I really needed to stop being such a lightweight.
On tiptoes, I creeped down the stairs and peeked my head around to look in the kitchen. Empty. Creep. Creep. Creep. I peeked my head around the wall and my eyes widened to find Tysen sleeping on the couch.
It shouldn’t have surprised me that he would give me the bed instead of leaving me on the couch. It did surprise me that he didn’t just come to bed with me though.
The clock on the microwave said it was after eight, which meant the shifters would wake up soon. None of them could sleep past nine, no matter how late they stayed up. I found the bowls and utensils in the same places as they had been before and started making breakfast.
After the bacon went in the oven, Tysen stumbled out of the living room, paused to smile at me, and then stumbled upstairs.
I made my famous pancakes and then chopped up some green onions, Tysen’s favorite thing to add to his eggs.
He came down as I finished the last pancake. The shirt he had on hugged his waist, showing me that he had gained more definition in his stomach while I had lost it. He was sexy as hell and I suddenly found my appetite had changed away from food.
“Good morning,” he greeted me with a smile.
“Morning,” I replied and smiled back.
“You didn’t have to make breakfast,” he told me as he looked at the food I had prepared.
“It’s the least I can do,” I argued.
Plates and silverware out, he started to make his plate of food. It always surprised me how much he could eat. Five pancakes, most of the six eggs I’d made, and five pieces of bacon. I made my plate and we sat in the dining room, eating in companionable silence. My hair kept falling forward while I ate. Grumpily I grabbed it and tied it up in a messy bun to keep it out of my way.
Tysen watched me tie up my hair and then focused on his food again.
I finished my food first, so I went into the kitchen and started cleaning up the breakfast mess. Tysen came in shortly after me and leaned around me to set his plate in the sink, his body pressed slightly against my left side, warming me.
“Thank you for cooking,” he said and kissed my cheek. “It was delicious.”
I nodded, unable to say anything as my hormones raged. It had been a while since I’d had sex, even longer since I had had good sex.
Sex with Tysen was euphoric. My body remembered it as well as my mind did and as I stepped back to get the bowl I had used for the eggs, I felt how wet I was between my legs.
“You okay?” he asked with a frown and set a hand on my forehead. “You’re flushed.”
“Fine,” I choked out and moved away from his hand. I had to get myself under control.
“Let me do the dishes,” he offered and tried to push me away from the sink.
“No, I’ll do them.” Doing the dishes would help take my mind off of Tysen and the memories of how he could make me scream.
“You’re flushed again,” he said with a frown. “Do you feel okay?”
“Fine,” I whispered and shoved my hands under the cold water.
He left it at that and gathered the rest of the dishes, setting them on the counter beside me. His back leaned into mine as he did it and I arched back into him without thinking. He held his position after setting the dishes down, frozen against me. His body was warm, solid, and I was getting even more turned on.<
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He turned me around and searched my eyes, or maybe my soul, for something.
“What?” I asked and squirmed a bit as the moisture between my legs grew.
“Your soul is a bit better today,” he answered.
“That’s thanks to you,” I replied, stating the obvious.
He looked down at my chest, which was heaving slightly, and then back up into my eyes. I licked my lips and then he kissed me. Our tongues danced, becoming reacquainted after such a long separation. He gripped the sink with both hands on either side of me and pressed his body against mine, pining me to the counter.
His taste and scent were musky and earthy. It was aphrodisiac to me. Sliding my hands up under his shirt, I explored his chiseled stomach and chest as we continued to kiss. He broke the kiss, ripped off his shirt over his head, and then kissed me again.
Somehow without his shirt on, he was even hotter against me. This time I broke our kiss and took off my shirt. He looked at me, his gaze roving from my pants up to my eyes in a slow, hungry gaze.
“Are you sure?” he asked. “You’re not still drunk, are you?”
I rolled my eyes at him, reached down into his pants and gripped him. He was so hard already.
He moaned softly and let his head fall back. I unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, freeing him and baring his entire body for me to look at. He was sexy and perfect. Even his penis was perfect, the perfect length and shape. I squatted down, Tysen’s head dropped as he looked to see what I was doing, his mouth opened, and then his eyes shut as I sucked him into my mouth. I pushed him back so he leaned against the counter behind him and then slowly sucked until his entire length was inside of my mouth and throat. One of the only perks to having no gag reflex was being able to do this with Tysen.
“Jess,” he whispered as I moved faster, sucked harder, and cupped his balls with my other hand.
He had gotten longer and harder since I started. A few moments later, he leaned back, breaking my mouth away from him. He picked me up under the armpits and set me on the counter and kissed me.
He pulled back, lowered his head and flicked his tongue on my right nipple. I hissed in pleasure and arched into him. His mouth closed over it and he sucked, making me moan and dig my hands into his hair. He moved to the other side and repeated his movements. When he stood back up, he tugged me forward a bit and then spread my legs apart.
