Cimmerian Shade: A Limited Edition Paranormal Romance & Urban Fantasy Collection

by Kiki Howell

  Guilt filled her, as she held his gaze, the cup cradled in her hand. She finally set it on the table. “No, you’re not. It’s not that simple though. You weren’t drained. You lost only a little blood.”

  He snorted. “A little? I almost bled to death.”

  “A little compared to what he could have taken. He could have drained you, left you for dead.” She sighed, smoothing the skirt of her dress. “I stopped him before you were drained, before you would have needed to be fed by a vampire to keep you alive. That would have turned you, then and there, into a vampire.”

  “So then what am I? If not a vampire?”

  “You’re a Nequam.”

  “And what the hell is that?” His voice rose, along with the color in his face. Natalya hated that she’d created this whole mess. She drew a breath, lowering her voice, trying to slip the words past him, as quietly as possible.

  “You are neither, or both. You’re not quite a vampire, not quite human.”

  “Neither, or both? You speak in riddles. I cannot be neither or both. What you say makes no sense.” He frowned at her, and her heart broke just a little.

  “You were bitten by a vampire, and some of his blood is in you. But he did not take enough from you to kill you. You were weakened, but not drained.”

  “Then if I wasn’t drained, you could have left me there, and I’d have been just fine. Why bother bringing me here?”

  She shook her head. “If you’d woken with the sun, you’d have been confused, weakened, your body wracked by the fever from the effects of the bite. You’d have wandered back to your village, and they’d have taken you in, cared for you, thinking you were simply ill. And when you finally came out of the fever, you’d have woken with a bloodlust that would have driven you insane. You’d have killed the first person you saw, probably your wife, or another loved one. You’d have drained them and then moved on, killing everyone you met. Until someone put a knife to your throat, and severed your head, or ran that knife through your heart.”

  He watched her for a moment, eyes wide. “Then why am I not mad with this bloodlust now? Have you cast a spell on me?”

  “No, nothing so dramatic. I’ve been feeding you, a little each day, to keep the bloodlust at bay. But you’ll need to feed soon, or it will come back with a vengeance.”

  “And why am I not a vampire? Isn’t that how you create more of your foul kind? By feeding us blood?”

  Natalya winced at the venom in his voice. “We create vampires intentionally, or most of us do. It’s a different process. I would have had to feed you my blood. You were not meant to be a vampire. You were meant to be dead.” She reached out, hand hovering over his, aching to touch him, but the look in his eyes stayed her hand. Pulling her fingers back, she folded her hands again in her lap.

  “And that is how is it I came to this half-state, this neither-or-both being that I am. Through your intervention?”

  Natalya met his eyes, seeing pain and confusion. “Yes. It is.”

  “So I’m reduced now to drinking this?” He gestured at the cup on the side table. “To consuming blood in order to survive?”

  “I know it’s hard, but yes, you’ll need to drink blood to survive. As I’ve said, it doesn’t need be human blood.”

  “Hard doesn’t even come close to what this is. It’s repulsive, disgusting.”

  Natalya sighed, sadness weighing down on her, crushing her spirit. “I...” She met his gaze, delicate brows drawn together. A flush crept up her cheeks. “I understand just how difficult this is for you, I really do... Will you at least tell me your name? I don’t know what to call you.” The question was a simple one, a common request, but sudden butterflies bloomed in her stomach while waiting for his answer.

  He glanced at her warily. “Caine.”

  She sat back. “Caine. I’m so terribly sorry that this is happening to you.” She wanted to say his name again, to feel it on her tongue. She finally knew his name. Then she coughed, her hands nervously plucking at her skirt.

  “It is blood, Caine. It’s what you’re going to need to survive, what you’re going to crave before too long. It’s what I’ve been feeding you since I brought you here.”

  “You’ve been feeding me human blood?” He looked at her as if she had poisoned him.

  “Oh no. It’s been rabbit.” She gestured toward the table. “This is rabbit as well. There’s no reason you need...actually, there’s no reason that any of us need to drink human blood. Some prefer it, but...” she shrugged, dropping her eyes.

  “But you don’t?”

  “I don’t, no.”

  “Do you kill humans?” His voice dropped low, tinged with something close to horror.

  “I have.” Her voice was almost a whisper, and despite herself, she heard shame in her voice.

  He cringed, a look of such disgust crossing his face that her heart almost stopped. She hurried on, her words rushed. “I don’t enjoy it. I try so very hard not to make unnecessary kills, to kill indiscriminately.”

  “But you do kill humans?” His voice had grown cold, and he regarded her with cold eyes.

  “I have. I do. I still do.”

  “How can you?”

  She met his eyes. “Do you mean to ask if it bothers me? Yes, it does.”

  Caine was silent, his eyes fixed on hers. She saw anger, hurt, distrust. When he finally spoke, his voice was low. “Well, I guess there’s one small hope. Maybe you have a shred of a soul, after all.”

  His words cut her to the bone. Her eyes flickered away from his, back to those green depths, to the coverlet over his legs. Her heart ached. She’d wanted to save him. Maybe she’d only made things worse for him, for herself.

  “Please, drink.” She reached for the cup, but his hand was there first. He took it, raising it to his lips, draining it. He lowered the cup, wiping his hand across his lips. For an instant, she saw something in his eyes, a flash of heat, of pleasure. It was fleeting, but it was there. The cup trembled, as he set it back on the table.

  “How was it that you were there? To save me?” He’d settled back against the pillows, his voice losing some of the edge it had held. Maybe it had been the bloodlust, coloring his thoughts, his words. He seemed calm now. There was no point in lying to him. The only thing that would do was the truth, no matter how difficult it was to say.

  “I’d been watching you.”

  Caine stiffened. “Watching me? Why? For what purpose? To make a meal of me?”

  Natalya sat for a moment, and then rose from the edge of the bed. She looked down at him. The truth, again difficult, came to her lips but she could only speak part of it. She made a small motion with her shoulders, something like a shrug. “I was coming home through the forest. I stopped for a moment, saw you there by the lake. And...” Her voice faltered. She longed to tell him how he’d captivated her, how she’d watched him for so many nights, but she bit back the words. He’d think her foolish at best, or worse, a liar, if she told him her real reason for being there.

  “And?”

  She squared her shoulders. “And I guess it was a very lucky thing for you I chose that path through the forest.”

  Before he could speak, before she could give anything else away, she turned and left the room.

  CAINE HAD A FITFUL night of rest. His body was exhausted, but his mind would not settle into sleep. Everything about Natalya confused him, starting with the fact she was a vampire. He’d never really been certain about the existence of vampires, but the stories he’d been told, had taught him they were nothing more than soulless beasts, who did not value human life, damned by the gods to forever be dependent on the blood of those humans, and to never walk in the sun again.

  The vampire who had attacked him certainly fit that description. If it weren’t for Natalya, Caine was sure he’d be dead—or turned into one of those hideous creatures. He’d been at her mercy for days, here in her house, and she’d never taken advantage of him. A shudder ran through him; it reminded him of just h
ow helpless and mortal the human race really was. If she’d been like the vampire who’d attacked her, he would be long dead by now. Or worse, out feeding on those in his village, on his very family.

  But she was different. Not only had she saved him, but she had taken care of his wounds, and given him shelter. He’d been in her home, unconscious and defenseless for untold hours, and she could have drained him at any time. But she’d only shown him kindness and compassion.

  Guilt nipped at the edges of his mind, remembering some of the words he’d said to her, but he pushed it away. There were too many questions, too much confusion in his mind to think about how she might feel. What would happen to him now? She said something about his wounds healing, about an ability he’d have. What did that mean? Would he ever be able to walk in the sun again? To go back to his normal life? Would he have to survive on blood for the rest of his life? There were so many questions and so few answers. He finally drifted into a fitful sleep.

  CAINE WAS SITTING UP in bed the next morning when Natalya entered his room. She carried a tray with a cup, and he knew it contained blood. He could smell it, and it made his stomach turn.

  But then he was distracted from the scent of blood by Natalya. He realized with a shock that he was glad to see her. He tried not to notice how her hips swayed, as she crossed the room, or how the sky blue dress hugged her curves, or how the tops of her round breasts were exposed, as she leaned down and set the tray on the bedside table. Most of all, he tried not to notice how she affected him.

  “What’s next for me?”

  “What do you mean?” She pulled up a small wooden stool and sat, folding her hands in her lap. A strange wave of disappointment washed over him. Inexplicably, he found himself wishing she would sit on the bed, closer to him. He shook his head. It was probably better she put some distance between them.

  “You said I healed myself. Is it by some kind of magic that this happened? Or a strange benefit of my being...Nequam? Will there be more surprises in store for me?”

  Natalya flinched at the heavy sarcasm in his words, though she couldn’t blame him.

  “I’m not entirely sure.” She shrugged. “It’s different for each person. It depends on how much blood you lost, other things we have no control over. Things we probably don’t even know about.”

  Caine glanced at the cup on the table. He could smell the tang of the blood, the freshness of it slowly fading, as they talked. It called to him, a thrill running through his veins. He licked his lips, his tongue brushing against his teeth, suddenly sharp. Natalya was watching him, something like pity in her eyes.

  She swallowed, and dropped her gaze. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean for this to happen to you.”

  Caine sighed. He reached over and picked up the cup, swirling the red liquid. A sudden wave of hunger, yet not hunger, passed through him. The cup shook in his hands as he raised it to his lips.

  The first wash of the warm blood over his tongue was like nothing he’d ever tasted. It was heavy and dark, bitter, like old metal beginning to corrode.

  But beneath that was something so unutterably sweet, so satisfying that he gulped the rest of the blood. Natalya reached out, taking the cup from his trembling fingers. He ran a shaking hand across his mouth.

  “It’s...it’s still disgusting.” He held her gaze, almost daring her to question him. He didn’t think he had the words at the moment to explain everything he felt.

  “Is there any way I can get out of this bed?” he asked, trying to steer his mind away from all the strange sensations in his body. “I will go mad if I’m confined to this bed any longer.”

  Natalya nodded. “You are free to move about my house, but I strongly advise against going outside until I have confirmation from my Seethe Mistress that no harm shall come to you. Gabriel is still out there, no doubt waiting for an opportune moment to strike. And the Mistress is unaware of your presence, so you have no protection save me. Besides, we don’t know how the sun will affect you just yet. I’d rather you wait to step outside until...”

  “Until you can see how I fare? It’s not like you can accompany me.” He gave her a rueful smile.

  She returned the smile, the first he’d seen on her face. It transformed her, made her even more beautiful. He didn’t seem to mind so much that her smile exposed her fangs.

  “When are you going to see her?”

  Natalya smiled. “I’ve already made arrangements. I have an appointment with her tonight.”

  “MISTRESS.” NATALYA curtsied deeply, forehead to her knee, her hair brushing the floor. She could feel Mistress Mirella’s gaze on her, heavy with power, but she held the pose, refusing to so much as tremble. It did not pay to show fear in front of any vampire, especially one so powerful.

  “You may rise,” the Seethe Mistress said, and Natalya lifted her head, allowing her skirts to fall to her sides again, the hem brushing the rich carpet.

  Natalya gazed at her Seethe Mistress. The vampire before her looked no older than twenty-two, the age she was when she was turned some three hundred years before. Her dark red hair was thick and lustrous, her emerald eyes glowed in the candlelight, and her voluptuous figure was showcased to perfection in the black satin gown she wore. Rubies winked at her ears, wrists, and throat, and the large black stone she wore on the third finger of her left hand shimmered, as she lifted her hand.

  “What brings you here today, my child?” Her voice was low and rich, in startling contrast to her youthful countenance.

  “Mistress, I come bearing news. An innocent was attacked by one of our own two nights ago.”

  Mirella’s eyes briefly flashed red, and she sat up straighter on her high-backed, ornately carved wooden throne. “Who attacked this human?”

  Natalya swallowed, uncomfortable with the rage in her Mistress’s eyes even though she knew it was not meant for her. “It was Gabriel.”

  “And how do you know for certain that this attack took place? Or that it was an attack made on an innocent?” Mistress Mirella tapped her ring on the arm of her chair.

  “I was hunting at the edge of a forest, near the lake. Gabriel was nearby, and decided that my interest in the human was unnatural, and attempted to remove the problem... forcefully. The human did not see him coming, and the attack by Gabriel was unprovoked. It goes against the law of our Seethe to attack an innocent human, especially this close to our Seethe.” The truth rose to her lips again, but admitting to her Mistress she’d been watching the man seemed unwise.

  “I’m aware of the rules that govern our Seethe, Natalya,” The Seethe Mistress replied, her lips curving into a smirk.

  “I beg your pardon, Mistress, but Gabriel is jealous that I have continued to spurn his advances, and decided to take it out on the human. I managed to keep Gabriel from killing him, but the human lost too much blood.” She dropped her eyes. “I have given him shelter in my home.”

  “And you only come to me now?” The Seethe Mistress’s voice rose. “What took you so long? Matters, such as this, should be brought to me immediately.”

  “Mistress, please forgive me. He was desperately weak, consumed with fever. I could not leave him until he’d recovered, until he’d fed at least once. I could not leave him alone, until it was safe to do so. I didn’t know if he would even make it.”

  “I see. Natalya, you do realize that he will become a Nequam, don’t you?” Mistress Mirella’s tone returned to her carefully modulated tones, but the flashing eyes betrayed her annoyance.

  Natalya lifted her eyes back to the vampire on the throne. “Yes, I understand. I am here to ask that you grant him your protection, Mistress. Gabriel will no doubt try to come after him again, once he discovers that I have given him shelter, and that he is alive.”

  Mirella arched a brow. “Leave Gabriel to me. I will see to it that he is punished most thoroughly for the infraction. In any case, the protection is granted, since the damage inflicted was done by one of my own. It is clear you have decided to continue taking care
of this new Nequam. Am I correct?”

  “Yes, Mistress.”

  She arched one eyebrow, a smile playing about her lips. “You are a singularly uncommon individual, Natalya. Your petition is granted.”

  Natalya bowed, relief nearly making her swoon. “Thank you so much, Mistress. I am forever grateful to you for your wisdom, and compassion.”

  Mirella waved her bejeweled fingers, her smile widening. “Save your flattery, child. I know they are not empty words, but I hear them so often from the honeyed-tongues of the others, that I grow weary.”

  Natalya smiled. “I do apologize. I shall take my leave now.”

  Mirella nodded. “When he is on his feet again, I want to meet this new Nequam of yours. Bring him to me as soon as possible.”

  “I will see to it.” Natalya bowed once more, and turned, stepping out into the velvety night.

  Chapter Three

  NATALYA CLOSED THE door softly behind her. She was anxious to tell Caine of her Mistress’s decision, but something was wrong. The house was silent, but it was an uneasy silence, full of tension and anguish. Had she been foolish to leave him alone? He’d been sleeping when she left, and she’d only been away a short time.

  She burst through the bedroom door to see Caine lying on his back, face pale, a cold sweat breaking out over his skin, the sheets soaked. His breathing was shallow, and when he lifted his head to look up at her, his eyes gleamed red.

  “I’m... I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” he rasped. “I feel so thirsty, but I don’t know what I need. Water makes me sick.” An overturned cup lay on the floor in a pool of water.

  Natalya rushed to his side, her fingers flying to the buttons at the top of her high-necked gown, as she sat.

  “The blood fever has taken you.” She tugged at the collar of her dress, tearing the fabric in the effort to expose her neck. “You will have to drink from me. There is no time for me to go out to hunt for you.”