by Jane Davitt
No talking. When Jay turned to glance at him at the top of the stairs, Austin held his fingertip to his lips to remind him, and Jay nodded.
They were so used to conversing that it was strange to be silent, and once Austin almost asked Jay to turn the hot water up a little bit before he remembered and communicated via gesture instead. Jay responded by adjusting the water and then kissing him, and because they had permission Austin let himself melt against Jay, palms sliding over Jay’s much-loved skin. After they parted, he indicated that Jay should turn around and switch places with him, and then washed Jay’s hair, not taking as much time about it as he would have liked because Liam had told them not to dawdle.
He couldn’t resist slipping his hand down over Jay’s ass to his hole and pushing two fingers inside him where he was hot and slick with Liam’s cum. Jay pushed back into his touch eagerly and turned to grip Austin’s arm, but Austin shook his head and withdrew. As much as he would have liked to linger, this wasn’t the time.
When they were back in the kitchen, naked, damp, and well scrubbed, Austin was hit by a flash of déjà vu. Liam was sitting at the kitchen table, as he had been the earlier, reading the paper, showing no sign of his recent activities in his expression.
“I’m hungry,” Liam said without looking up. “I’m sure you are too, but you can eat when you’ve served me my breakfast. Stay quiet, please. I’m not a fan of conversation first thing in the morning.”
Jay’s stomach growled loudly enough that Austin heard it, but he didn’t protest. Austin knew an imposed silence chafed Jay’s emotions raw—unless a gag went along with the order. Restrain him so that he could barely move, gag him so that breathing was difficult, and Jay loved it; tell him to stand or kneel without fidgeting or talking, and it was torture.
“More coffee for me, juice, a toasted, buttered bagel, and a small bowl of strawberry yogurt,” Liam continued. “Bagel and yogurt on the table in front of me, then you can kneel on either side holding my drinks. Let me see…coffee for Jay, juice for Austin, I think.” He smiled without raising his gaze from the paper and added, “I’d advise you to hurry if you don’t want to eat breakfast standing because your arses are too sore to sit on, but I don’t want to see any clumsiness or spills.” He finally glanced up, and Austin felt his body tighten with arousal at the heat in Liam’s eyes. “I want you to serve me breakfast as my subs.” The final three words were stressed lightly. “Off you go.”
Austin would have liked a moment to plan, the ability to discuss what they should do with Jay, but he had neither, so he had to trust to the rapport between them to make this go smoothly. Liam was reading again, but Austin didn’t doubt for a moment that they were under scrutiny.
Moving with the slow, efficient grace he knew Liam preferred, he went to the toaster and started off the bagel, the clunk of the fridge door telling him that Jay was getting out the juice and yogurt.
Standing and watching the bagel heat, dreamily contemplating nothing much in particular, wouldn’t impress Liam, so after Austin had gotten a plate and knife out with as little noise as possible and taken the lid off the butter dish—Liam never kept it in the fridge, for some reason—he went to his knees facing Liam, his head bowed.
God, the plug was fucking huge, impossible to ignore. He loved it and hated it at one and the same time.
He didn’t hear a word from Liam, so he had to imagine a look of approval. He wasn’t sure how his need to please his Dom was wrapped up in wanting approval, wanting the person with control over him to tell him he was doing a good job. Really, knowing he was being obedient should be enough, but it wasn’t, not always.
The toaster popped the bagel up—not very well, it was a little too thick and slightly jammed—and Austin stood again to butter it and retrieve the glass of juice Jay had poured. He delivered the plate, stepped back so that Jay could set down the yogurt, and knelt with the juice glass carefully balanced so it wouldn’t spill.
Sinking down onto his knees made him ache. It wasn’t just his ass; it was all the way up into his gut. His mind kept coming back to it, circling away and then nearer again. It wasn’t the kind of thing he should be thinking about. He ought to be focusing on doing exactly what Liam wanted him to do.
Liam reached and took the juice glass from his hand, sipped the juice, then gave it back to him. All without a word. His attention was on the paper he was reading, as if he expected that Jay and Austin would be doing what he’d ordered and he didn’t need to think about them at all.
That kind of confidence should’ve been reassuring, but Austin couldn’t find anything comforting right then. He squirmed, trying to get the plug to feel less there, which was ridiculous, because it was jammed up his fucking ass, and the glass tilted, a trickle of juice running down the side to drip, cool and sticky, on his hand.
“Impatient for me to finish?” Liam inquired, sounding less than pleased. “Stay still, please.”
Jay gave him a surprised look. Jay, who was kneeling in perfect stillness on the other side of Liam’s chair, the coffee cup held steady. Jay, who didn’t have his ass stuffed full, spread wide, invaded.
Austin felt his failure like a blow. He’d expected it to be easy and for Jay to be the only one struggling, but it wasn’t working out that way.
“Sir, the plug—it’s so big.”
Even to his ears he sounded petulant, and God, he’d forgotten they weren’t supposed to talk.
Liam took the coffee from Jay and sipped it. “I couldn’t see any signs of tearing, and it’s smaller than ones you’ve worn for much longer. You told me yourself it didn’t hurt. Did you lie to me?”
“No, Sir,” Austin admitted. “I just… I can’t concentrate with it in me, and it’s stopping me from being perfect for you.”
“I disagree.” Liam took another sip of coffee, then handed the mug back to Jay, who was keeping his mouth shut with an effort Austin could feel. “It’s not stopping you; you are. Self-control, focus, trust. Concentrate on those, and serving me will come naturally. I want you plugged, and I’m enjoying seeing you suffer. You’re pleasing me in so many ways without knowing it, but stop fighting me.”
Liam’s words helped him, the praise mixed in sweetening the censure. Austin took some slow, deep breaths, searching for that sense of rightness that made the sessions a joy to him. “Yes, Sir. I’m sorry.”
As Liam took the coffee from Jay again and drank it, Austin heard the faint but familiar ringtone of his cell phone from upstairs and bit his lip. It wasn’t the specific tone he’d assigned to calls from Jay or Liam or his mother—who seemed to be avoiding him—just the generic one. Hopefully whoever it was would leave a message when it went to voice mail.
“Was that yours?” Liam asked when it had stopped trilling.
“Yes, Sir. I’m sorry. I know we’re supposed to mute our phones before a session.”
“It’s all right this once. It’s not as if I gave you much notice. I don’t expect it to happen again, though.” Liam didn’t sound annoyed, just resigned.
Austin winced as the ring started again and waited with his eyes closed until it stopped. When it started a third set, Liam sighed.
“Go and answer it. It’s clear someone needs your attention.”
Austin took a moment to lean in and rest his forehead against Liam’s knee, half apology, half thanks. He set down the juice and left the room, hurrying once he was out of sight, cursing under his breath as he ran upstairs. Why hadn’t he turned it off after his shower? He should have thought of it then.
The phone had started a fourth cycle by the time he reached it, and annoyance made him snap out a terse “What?” when he answered it.
“Austin, it’s me. Where were you? Why didn’t you pick up?”
April. Austin shook his head. Of course it was April. Who else would call at the worst time possible?
“Because I was busy.”
“I thought you’d still be in bed. It’s only nine.”
After everything that�
�d happened since Liam had woken him, it felt more like noon. “If you thought I was still in bed, why did you— Never mind. What do you want? And make it quick.”
Her breath caught on a sob. “Ryan wants to slow things down. He says I’m distracting him from studying and we shouldn’t see so much of each other.”
“Oh,” Austin said blankly, but Ryan probably had a point. April always assumed that in a list of priorities, she came first, but that wouldn’t go over well with the only boyfriend she’d had who actually had ambitions and goals. Ryan might like April, even love her, but from the little she’d told Austin, the guy seemed dedicated to the idea of being a pediatrician and committed to getting his degree. That would knock April down a few places on the list. “Okay.”
“Okay? It’s not okay! I can’t handle being here without him; I just can’t. Seeing him with someone else—God, I’d want to punch her—”
“Huh? Punch who? You said he wanted to concentrate on studying. That’s not the same as having a new girlfriend.”
“How stupid are you? Of course it is! What else could it mean? And he said it was for my good too. Said I wasn’t focusing and I needed some self-discipline.” She made an indescribable sound of disgust. “Jerk.”
Austin lay on the bed on his stomach, making the most of the break from kneeling. “If he’s a jerk, you’re better off without him.”
“I love him,” April said. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand that. You and Jay are just so boring, so…married. No sparks. Everything simple. I’m not like that. You know I’m not.”
Austin rolled his eyes. He was talking to his sister while wearing a huge butt plug. Oh yeah. His life was really bland and boring.
“I want to stay here and get good grades—I do. I can hear you thinking I’m lying, but I’m not. I just can’t do it without him. Knowing he’s on my side keeps me sane. I need him.”
Sighing, Austin tried to sound understanding and sympathetic. “He didn’t say he’s breaking up with you, did he?”
“No.” April sniffled.
“He said he needs to focus on studying more. Not that he wants to see other girls or whatever.”
“But that’s what he means!” April wailed. “It has to be. That’s just what you say when you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.”
“Austin,” Liam said from the doorway, and Austin rolled quickly off the bed and down onto the floor, wondering how badly he’d just fucked up. Liam had told him to answer the phone, not to make himself comfortable. “Is this an emergency?” It was obvious he knew it wasn’t.
“No,” Austin said, barely choking back the word Sir.
“Then I’d like you to wrap up the conversation as soon as possible and hang up.” Liam stood there, waiting.
“—isn’t it?” April was saying.
“What?” Austin said. “Look, I have to go.”
“That’s not Jay.” April sounded scandalized. “Did you guys break up? Is that why you don’t care about my relationship?”
“Believe it or not, your life isn’t foremost on my mind,” Austin said, knowing he was being mean but unable to stop himself. “No, Jay and I didn’t break up. That’s Liam, our landlord. Mom told you we’d moved into an apartment in his basement, didn’t she?”
“She told me you were moving, but she didn’t say whose house it was. Him! Why move in with him? He’s rude and old, and he doesn’t like me.”
Indignation sharpened his voice. Liam had paid her fine and gotten her out of a cell; the least she could do was remember that. Blowing the better relationship they’d had going since she left, he snapped, “Yeah, well, you’re rude, immature, and ungrateful, and I don’t like you a lot of the time either.”
“Austin!”
“I have to go.” He hung up before she could protest, silenced the phone, and turned toward Liam with his hands on his thighs. “I’m sorry, Sir.”
Liam ran his hand over his dark hair, managing to leave it tidier than before. Austin had seen Liam after sex, sweating, flushed, but he’d still looked in control in some indefinable way. It was impossible to picture him in creased or grubby clothing, or with hair that needed washing or combing. Liam always looked ready to step onto the front cover of a magazine. “So am I, but it wasn’t your fault. Who was it?”
“April. Her boyfriend wants to cool things off, and she’s freaking out.” Austin was miserable and uncomfortable and pretty sure he was doing a terrible job hiding both things. “I really am sorry. I wish I’d remembered to turn the phone off. Or to charge it yesterday. Anything.”
“Stop apologizing. There’s no need.” Liam seemed to mean it. “It’s fine. We have time.”
“Do we?” He wanted to apologize again, but Liam had told him not to. He needed reassurance.
“Yes, I promise you. I’m not in the habit of lying to make you feel better.” Liam tugged Austin to his feet and wrapped both arms around him, and Austin sighed and leaned in, grateful for Liam’s warmth
Jay appeared in the doorway, still naked. “Sir? Is everything okay?”
“I think so,” Liam said slowly, and Austin nodded at both of them.
“It was April,” he told Jay.
“Let me guess—she’s in crisis mode because she did something stupid, and she wants you to bail her out.”
Austin shrugged. “More like she wanted me to listen to her whine for a couple of hours. Then call her boyfriend and whip him into shape.”
“Sounds like a job for Liam.” Jay grinned.
“No, thank you,” Liam said, but he was almost smiling too. “I’ve done more than my fair share of dealing with her already, I think.”
“You have,” Austin agreed. “You’re officially off the hook.” He stretched and winced as his ass twinged painfully. “What now?”
“The first thing we do is get that plug out of you and some food into both of you,” Liam said decisively, like he’d read Austin’s mind. Maybe he had. “It’s Saturday, and we’re not going to spoil it by fretting. Come on, then. Let’s go.”
As he moved to obey, Austin hoped Liam knew what he was talking about.
Chapter Fifteen
It had been more than a week since Austin had seen his mom when he pulled into her driveway the next morning. He’d called her a couple of times and only gotten the answering machine, which wasn’t normal—usually she picked up if she was home, and usually she was home in the evening. Jay had suggested that maybe she’d found a boyfriend and was heavily into dating him, which made Austin feel vaguely ill. He’d ended that conversation by throwing the couch cushion at Jay’s head.
Going into the house, he called her name and heard her answer from the family room, sounding startled. She was on the couch, a talk show host babbling from the TV, a cup of coffee in her hand.
“Hey, you.” Austin bent over to give her a kiss. “Where is everyone?”
“Oh, they’re out,” she said with a vague flap of her hand. “Most Sundays I’m on my own these days.”
“I’m sorry,” Austin began, taking a seat beside her, but she shook her head.
“I’m glad the boys have found someone to be with, and April will be back soon.”
“Like she was ever around much on weekends,” Austin said with a snort. “She called me yesterday, all worked up over her boyfriend.”
“She called me too,” Sarah said slowly. “Austin, she sounded really upset.”
“Did she?” Austin wasn’t really interested. April’s boyfriends came and went. He’d hoped Ryan would stick around, especially since he seemed to be a good influence, but if he’d seen the less sunny side of April and decided to run, Austin couldn’t blame the guy. “Ryan’s probably just stressed about finals or something. They’ll work it out.”
“She was upset about you,” Sarah told him. She set her coffee down and turned to face him fully, meeting his gaze for the first time since he’d walked in. “Austin, you’ve always said I could ask you anything. We…we’ve been close. No secrets between us
.”
That wasn’t something anyone could hear from a parent without apprehension crawling up their spine. Austin braced himself, trying to focus on the fact that he was in his midtwenties, and no matter what he’d done, he couldn’t be grounded for it. “Uh, I guess.”
Her lips set in a firm line, her back straight, Sarah Fisher facing a problem head-on, the way she always did. “She thinks you’ve split up with Jay, and I…well, I can see why she’d think that.”
“Huh?” Relief made him laugh, though he promised himself a long talk with April, with no holding back, because she was his baby sister. “Mom! That’s never gonna happen. Ever. I love Jay, and he loves me. I can’t imagine my life without him. Trust me, everything’s fine between us.”
The look she gave him was grieved, not accusing, but it cut through him like a cold wind. “Then why did I see you kissing that man at your party? I’d had too much to drink, yes, but I know what I saw, and I haven’t been able to put it out of my head.” Her eyes filled with tears, her face flushing. “You kissed him, Austin,” she repeated. “Why would you do such a thing?”
“I what?” Austin shifted a little bit away from her, leaning against the arm of the couch. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Kissed who?” She had to mean Liam, but how could she have seen him kiss Liam?
“Your ‘landlord.’” Sarah made air quotes around the word. She might be upset, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t capable of being sharp. “Except that’s not who he really is, is it? He’s your new boyfriend. I don’t know why you went to so much effort to hide it, unless it’s because you were ashamed. Which you shouldn’t be, honey. It’s not your fault. I’m just so confused, and Jay always seemed so nice…”
Austin felt like his mother was talking in circles, and he was the one getting spun around, dizzier and more disoriented by the second. “Jay is nice,” he protested; that was one thing he knew for sure.
“Not if he was hurting you,” Sarah said. She reached over and took Austin’s hand, and Austin let her. “I just wish you’d told me, instead of pretending you and Jay were moving together. Where is he living now? I went over to your old place last night, and there are new people living there. Or is Jay living in that basement apartment alone, and you’re living upstairs with Liam? But why would you do that, if Jay was being so abusive?”
