Paul watched him get into his car before he closed the door, and then he stood supporting himself against it with his outstretched hand. From the moment that Knowles had convinced him that he was speaking the truth he had been shocked into an acute awareness of the magnitude of this thing that had fallen upon him. Behind all the talk with Knowles he had been asking feverishly, Who then? Who? Who? And now the Mayor’s parlour? The Mayor’s parlour? Somebody on the Council? But who? Who?…The Mayor’s parlour? There wasn’t a man younger than himself on the Council. Somebody in the offices?…The Mayor’s parlour? The Mayor? The Mayor, Arthur Bolton? ARTHUR BOLTON! Don’t be ridiculous…Brian…Brian Bolton? BRIAN BOLTON, the youngster…Lorna! He recalled the night he had come in and had heard the rumpus upstairs and Bett clashing about and Jinny sitting on the bed rocking Lorna. What he had made out of this, and only through Bett’s tearful yelling, was that Lorna had walked out of a dance because her mother danced with Brian. Then there were the times he had come home and found him in the drawing room. He had thought he had been waiting for Lorna coming back from school. At these times he said that he had just finished over the road at the Technical School and called in. And then there were the nights Bett was out he had thought she was with Knowles. But Brian…he was only a boy, nineteen, if that.
No! No!
Now he was really sick.
He was halfway up the stairs on his way to his room when he stopped. On the thought that came crashing into his mind he gripped the banisters. Just suppose! Just suppose…Lorna had been very distraught of late. She had been sick several times, and she, too, had had a throat. She also had a herpes on her lip. But it could just possibly have been a chancre.
He swung round, dashed down the stairs, grabbed his hat and coat from the hall, went through the waiting room so as not to give any explanation to Maggie, and out into the garage. Within minutes the car was roaring towards Jenny’s.
He rang the bell three times before there was any answer, and when Jenny opened the door, the sleep was still weighting her eyes.
‘What is it? Something wrong?’
‘No, no, Jinny; I just want to talk to Lorna.’
‘She’s asleep. She’s in the spare room. Will I wake her?’
‘No, I’ll go in, Jinny.’ He went swiftly past her.
‘But, Paul, something’s wrong…’ He had already gone into the room and closed the door before she had finished speaking.
Lorna was lying on her back. Her face, although swollen from her crying, looked beautiful, painfully so. He stood staring down at her for a while before gently touching her shoulder. ‘Lorna, Lorna,’ he said.
‘Yes? Oh! Oh!’ She opened her eyes, closed them again, then sat up with a jerk. ‘Daddy!’ Her tone was high, frightened. ‘What is it?’
‘Nothing, nothing.’ He sat down on the bed and forced himself to calmness. ‘I just wanted a little talk.’
‘You’re not going to stop me going with Aunt Jen…?’
‘…No, no.’ He moved his head widely. ‘Nothing like that. You’re going on a holiday but…but, there’s something I’ve got to ask you. It’s very important and it’s very delicate.’ He took hold of her hand and smoothed it before saying, ‘It’s about Brian.’
Her fingers jerked within his, and she muttered quickly, ‘I’ve finished with Brian, ages ago.’
‘I know that, dear, but…but what I want to say…what I want to ask you is about the time when you used to go out together.’ As he felt her hand stiffen, the sickness deepened in his body, but he went on, ‘ You know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, or upset you, not intentionally, and why I’m asking you this is because I love you and wouldn’t want the smallest harm to come to you. You understand?’
She was leaning back against the pillows and she stared at him blankly when she said, ‘What do you want to ask me?’
This was terrible, terrible. He could ask this of patients, of young girls who denied ever being with a man when he had to tell their mothers they were three months pregnant. He had got used to talking tactfully, easily, soothingly, but none of his past experience helped him now. He looked down at her hand gripped into a fist within his. ‘I’m going to ask you a question and you can answer yes or no…Did Brian ever try to do anything to you that wasn’t very nice?’
‘Yes.’ The answer came short, sharp, and coolly, and brought his startled eyes to hers.
‘Lorna!’ Her name sounded like a pain spilling from his wide-lipped mouth.
‘Well, you asked, Daddy.’
‘Yes, yes, it’s all right, my dear…Can I ask you something else?’
‘I can’t stop you, can I?’ She sounded adult, not at all like a young girl, not at all like his Lorna, and he had to drop his eyes from hers when he put the next question. ‘Did you submit to him?’
‘No.’ The answer came as quickly as the previous one, and the relief caused his body to slump.
‘Why did you ask that?’
‘Oh, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter any more.’
‘But it does. Why do you want to know that? Why did you ask such a question if it doesn’t matter?’
‘All I can say is, dear, that Brian isn’t a boy you should associate with.’
‘Not even to play tennis with? Or go dancing with? Or to the pictures?’ The enquiry sounded ordinary.
‘No, not even that. I would rather you didn’t see him again.’
‘Oh, you needn’t worry about that, Daddy.’ Her small nose wrinkled as if with distaste. ‘I haven’t seen Brian since before Christmas. Didn’t you know that?’
‘No, I didn’t, dear, I knew you weren’t seeing much of him, but I didn’t know that you had stopped seeing him altogether.’
‘Oh, yes. He’s got someone else.’ Her head was tossing now, and if he needed further confirmation of Bett’s association with the boy he had it. My God! And how much did she know? Too much. That was evident, and it might only be a short time before she knew the whole of it. It was imperative that she should be got away.
As he rose from the bed he wouldn’t have been surprised if she had said, ‘Shall we do a Mrs McAnulty?’ and then gone on, ‘I’m bad, Doctor. I’ve got something with a funny name; it’s got three stages and the third stage mightn’t happen for years and then it can drive you mad or blind or affect all your bones, and it can be passed on to babies and they can be born blind…’
‘Daddy. About Mammy.’
He bit hard on his lip. ‘What about her?’
‘Well, I don’t want to see her before I go. Can Aunt Jenny go and get my things?’
He actually smiled, at least his lips stretched, as he said, ‘Yes, dear. Aunt Jinny will come and get your things. And you’d better not go back to sleep; you’ve got a long journey before you.’ He went swiftly back to the bed and, bending over her, took her in his arms and held her tightly for a moment, and when she returned his embrace, he sighed deeply, kissed her, then left her without further words.
In the sitting room Jenny said, ‘I’ve made a cup of tea.’
‘Thanks.’ As he watched her pouring the tea out he said, ‘Don’t let anything stop you getting away as early as possible, Jinny, will you?’
‘What’s the matter, Paul? What’s the matter with Bett?’ She kept her attention on what she was doing as she asked him this.
‘She’s got VD.’ His voice was level and low and he looked straight at her.
‘Oh, no. No–o!’ She put down the teapot and placed her two hands over her ears as if to shut out the sound. And she rocked her body backwards and forwards in the fashion that Maggie would have done under stress. Then, becoming still, she said, ‘Who? Knowles?’
‘No.’ His head was bowed. ‘That’s who I thought, but I’ve seen him. No, it isn’t him, but it could be…’ He found difficulty in speaking the boy’s name, for when he linked it with Bett his mind presented him with something indecent. It had nothing to do with sex as such; sex would have covered his wife’s association with K
nowles, with Brian Bolton it appeared more like incest. ‘It could be young Bolton.’
Again Jenny said ‘Oh no. No–o!’ Then, ‘Lorna?’
‘That’s what I was afraid of, and that’s putting it mildly. I nearly went mad when I thought…Anyway, it’s all right, she hasn’t been with him, and she doesn’t know about Bett.’
‘She knows they’ve been seeing each other, that’s what’s been upsetting her.’
‘Perhaps, but she doesn’t know about…about this other business. I’m sure it would have a dreadful effect on her if she did. In any case her attitude towards men will always be coloured by her mother’s attitude, but if she was to know the whole of it…well! So the sooner you’re away the happier I’ll be…You see?’
‘But I can’t go. I just can’t walk out and leave her like this.’ Jenny’s tone was incredulous.
‘You’ve got to, Jinny.’ He came and stood close to her. ‘Listen. Listen to me.’ He took hold of her arms. ‘I’m going to see to Bett, for I realise, now it’s too late, that this is mostly my fault. So don’t worry. I know where I stand and what I’ve got to do. I should have done as you said years ago and had the whole business out. But there’s no need for you to stay. Maggie’s getting me someone for inside the house, and John’s going to see about having her sent away for treatment. It will all be done very diplomatically; she’ll just be going away on a holiday. And when she comes back…well then, well, I’ll have to try to make amends, won’t I?’
‘You know I could laugh, I could laugh at you Paul, I really could. You mean to say you think you can make amends after this? You think you can take up a normal life with Bett or, what’s more to the point, she with you? Aw, Paul…’ Jenny moved her head in derision.
‘Well, I can but try.’ His tone was stiff and on the defensive.
‘It won’t work. I know Bett. It won’t work. I’ve got to say this now, Paul. Bett will never forgive you until the day she dies. You can turn over all the new leaves you like and try to make up to her with everything you think possible, but even before this last, awful, awful business she had worked up a hatred against you that was terrible in its intensity, and now, do you think she’ll feel any better towards you knowing what she’s got? Why yesterday, when I mentioned your name, she nearly had hysterics; in fact she did; that’s why I wanted Doctor Price to see her.’
‘You never wanted Bett to leave me, or me her, did you, Jinny? All these years you’ve tried to keep us together, so what’s made you change now?’ She could have answered him truthfully and said, ‘I worked to keep you together because deep inside I wanted you separated. Work that out, and what’s the answer? My conscience was too much for me; it was stronger than my desire for you.’ But what she said was, ‘I never wanted you to separate before last night, but after that explosion I knew it was too late and that you’ll only destroy each other.’
‘Well, under the present circumstances what would you have me do, walk out on her?’
‘I don’t know, I don’t know. But what I do know is that, because you’ve made up your mind to forgive her don’t expect her to fall into your arms out of gratitude, because it won’t work.’
‘Jinny, Jinny, you know me better than to think at this stage of our lives I’d even want that. I just want to do the right thing now because I’m admitting my responsibility for the plight she’s in. I expect nothing in the future, Jinny. Nor do I want it…sufficient unto the day…’
‘That’s a very reasonable state of mind.’
‘Jinny, don’t sound like that.’ He took hold of her hand and made her face him. ‘Don’t you turn on me; I couldn’t bear it.’
‘I’m not turning on you. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to, because, well…’ She shrugged her shoulders and her smile held all the bitterness she was capable of. ‘You know all there is to know about me, don’t you? You know how I feel about you; you always have.’
When she bowed her head, his hands touched her arms, and as he went to draw her gently to him she pulled away, saying sharply, ‘Oh, no. That would be the end, wouldn’t it? If Lorna saw you holding her Aunt Jenny…Oh…’ She pushed her hand through her thick loose hair. ‘I…I didn’t mean it like that. I…I know it meant nothing. Oh!’ She covered her eyes for a moment. ‘It’s as you say, I think I’d better get away and quick.’ She looked at him now standing mutely regarding her. ‘Aw, Paul, I’m sorry.’ Her manner softened with her voice. ‘You’re going through the mill with one thing and another, and I’m not being much help. Go on home.’ She moved towards the door. ‘I’ll come as soon as I can and get Lorna’s things together, and perhaps you’ll run us to the station; then there’ll be two less in your hair.’
She was about to open the sitting room door when he stepped quickly forward, and keeping it closed with one hand he drew her to him with the other. Putting his back against the door he held her pressed fast for a moment; then, lifting her face to his, he kissed her. When next he looked into her eyes they were large and soft and startled.
‘Go on liking me, Jinny, please.’
She had difficulty in making out his muttered words. He had not said, ‘Go on loving me,’ but that’s what he meant. She nodded dumbly at him, and he released her and, opening the door, went out.
He was going across the drive to his car when he asked himself why in the name of God had he done that? Why, when his mind was in all this turmoil, when there seemed nothing more that could happen to him had he to go and kiss Jinny like that? He supposed he had done it because she had wanted him to; perhaps because he himself had wanted to. But God hadn’t he enough on his plate without getting involved with Jinny in that way? Some part of him must be slightly unbalanced…It must be. What he should be concerning himself with at this moment was Brian Bolton. Yes, Brian Bolton. He rammed in the gears of the car and drove it full pelt down the drive and into the main road, hardly stopping to check whether the way was clear or not…
There were already a number of people in the waiting room when he passed through it and into his surgery. Again he consulted the telephone directory, and then he dialled the Mayor’s number. It was Mrs Bolton who answered the phone and replied to his question, ‘Oh, Doctor, he’s just left the house this minute; this is one of his days for the Technical College. He’ll be there in a couple of minutes. Was it anything important?’
It was nothing important, he assured her; he was doing a bit of writing and wanted some technical know-how; he thought that Brian might be able to help him.
Mrs Bolton assured him, too; Brian would be delighted. She asked after Bett, and Lorna, and remarked on it being a lovely morning.
He replied that indeed it was and then rang off.
Passing through the waiting room again, he went down the courtyard and stood at the outer door. The Square was busy. Three lorries were being loaded up with carcasses outside the Pearsons’ factory. Across the road opposite the Technical College the cars were parked tightly against the kerb. A number of motorcycles came whizzing into the square and went round the side of the college where there was parking space. Young men, in twos and threes, came hurrying up the street and went up the steps into the building. And then he saw Brian in company with another young man. He was wearing a leather jacket, drainpipe trousers, and painted black shoes. His apparel seemed to emphasise his youth and stamp him as of another world.
Stepping quickly into the roadway, Paul called, ‘Brian! Hi, there!’ And he had to call again before he brought the boy’s attention to him.
Brian had been laughing and demonstrating something with wide gestures of his hands, and when he heard his name called and saw the doctor his hands became stationary in mid-air for a second, and the smile slid from his face. As Paul beckoned he left his companion and came across the square. But not until he was close to Paul did he speak, and then he asked, ‘You want me?’ not ‘Good morning, Doctor,’ or ‘Hello, Doctor,’ but, ‘You want me?’
‘Yes I want you. I would like you to come to the surgery for a m
oment.’ As he spoke Paul was forced to turn away, but after taking a few steps he stopped and looked over his shoulder to where Brian was standing, straight, stiff, and unsmiling.
‘I can’t come now, classes are about to start.’
‘You can make your excuses about that later; I will leave that to you; but at the moment I would like to speak to you.’
Paul had turned fully round again and they were staring at each other. If there had been any doubt in his mind as to whether he was on the right track in following Knowles’ lead of the Mayor’s parlour it was gone. In the face of the young man before him was a mixture of defiance, fear, and guilt.
‘We get into trouble if we’re late.’ Brian’s voice was surly.
‘You’ll find yourself in greater trouble if you don’t come with me, and at once.’ He was growling at him now, his words muttered and thick. ‘I haven’t much time to waste on you. I phoned your home. Your mother asked me what I wanted. I said I was doing a paper and wanted some technical advice. It’s up to you. If you come into the surgery now we can leave it like that, if not, then I must advise your parents of my real reason for wanting to see you.’
He saw the boy’s face turn grey. He heard him utter something that sounded very much like, ‘To hell with you!’ He remained still while Brian passed him, his step slow, and defiance emanating from him. Then he followed him to the house, through the courtyard and into the waiting room.
The sight of the number of people waiting seemed to take Brian aback slightly, for after glancing behind him he allowed Paul to pass him, then followed him into the surgery. And when he had closed the door he stood just within the room.
Going to his desk, Paul said, ‘You’d better sit down.’
‘I don’t want to sit down.’
‘I think you’d better; I may have to shout if you stand at that distance, and perhaps you wouldn’t want the patients out there to hear what I have to say.’
The Long Corridor Page 18
