I rubbed the back of my hand across his cheek. “But I want you to listen to me. I love you, Jake. I’ve never loved another guy in my entire life. I’ve given myself over to you emotionally, and I’m more than ready to do that with my body as well. So I don’t care whether I make love with you, have sex, or even fuck.”
His eyes widened as big as saucers at my using the F word. I smiled reassuringly at him. “I just want to be with you.” I pulled his head down to where our foreheads touched. “Not only have you told me over and over again that you loved me, but you’ve managed to show me just how much you love me too. I don’t care if you’ve been with a thousand other women—that was the past. We’re the present and the future—right here and right now.”
Jake made a pained noise in the back of his throat. “Can’t you see I’m fucking drowning in all this guilt?” He smacked his hand against his bare chest. “It’s because of me that you were almost killed. I don’t want anything else on my conscience, so I won’t ruin you by taking your virginity.”
I couldn’t help rolling my eyes. “Would you stop talking like I’m some fragile flower or something? I may be fifty percent angel, but I’m fifty percent hellcat too.” I curled my fingers into his sweat slickened strands of hair. “I’ll be your holy water—I’ll purify you and wash away the past. Just don’t deny me this.”
“Angel, I don’t ever want to deny you anything. I’d give you the world if I could. It kills me inside to have to tell you no.” He wrapped his arms tight around me. “It’s just I’m so afraid that my love can never be good enough for you.”
“Don’t ever think that, Jake. It’s all I need—all I want.” I gazed up at him. “Besides, you may be with me and decide I’m not enough for you.”
He shook his head. “I fucking doubt that.”
“But I don’t know what to do…to you know, please you.”
Jake grinned down at me. “Please me?”
I felt my cheeks warming. “Get you off?”
His thumb rubbed across my cheekbone. “Babe, I doubt you’ll have any problems getting me off. You did just fine last time.”
“But you were helping me. I just want to be everything you could ever need and more both in and out of the bedroom.”
Jake then brought his lips to mine and silenced any remaining doubts. His tongue slid against my lips, and I opened my mouth, inviting him in. I wanted to taste every inch of him tonight. Our kisses deepened as our tongues danced and fought against each other.
With our mouths and arms entangled, I used my hips to nudge Jake toward the loft steps. I wasn’t going to give him another chance to talk me or himself out of this. When his butt knocked against the stairs, his lips pulled away from mine. His signature cocky smirk spread across his lips. “Ladies first.”
I giggled. “Why do I think this is less about you being chivalrous and more about getting to see my ass in this thong?”
He banged his head back against the railing. “Christ almighty, that sexy-as-hell-get-up has a thong too?”
“Mmm hmm.”
A sexy grin stretched across his face. “You’re killing me.” He then stepped aside for me to start up the stairs. With every step I took, I could feel his eyes scorching into my bare skin. It caused heat and moisture to grow between my thighs.
When we reached the landing of the loft, I started to wrap my arms around Jake, but he stopped me. “Wait, Angel, I’m all sweaty from working out, and I stink.”
I leaned in to inhale his bare chest. “You smell good to me.”
Jake chuckled as he pushed out of my arms. “If we’re doing this, we’re doing it right and when I’m not stinky.”
“If you say so,” I replied.
Tugging my hand, he pulled me to the bathroom. Just like everything in the barn, it was breathtaking with its marble tile and granite countertops. Jake turned on the shower knob, and a steady stream of water came jetting out. With his hands on the waistband of his shorts, his lips curved in a smirk. “Did you plan on joining me or just watching?”
“Um…” Did I want to shower with him? That threw me for a loop since that usually came after sex, right? Ugh, this was all happening wrong and not like I pictured it. And I sure as hell didn’t think it would be romantic to watch him shower. The sight of Jake lathering up while I stared at him sounded like something out of a bad porno. “Uh, I can just wait in the bed.” I then started inching back from the shower.
He was sliding his shorts down when I quickly turned to go. I didn’t make it far before he grabbed my arm and spun me into him. I squealed as the water drenched my hair and soaked my lingerie. “Don’t go, Angel. I want you to stay.”
At the desire and love that burned in his eyes, I found it hard to breathe. When I could finally speak, I replied, “Then I’ll stay.”
Jake glanced down at my wet nightie that was now molded to my body like a second skin. “You really bought this for me?”
“Yes,” I replied as my arms went around his neck. “Do you like it?”
“Hmm,” he murmured as his hands came up to cup my breasts within the bodice. “It’s beautiful—you’re beautiful in it.”
I smiled. “I thought you would like it because it was white, and you always say—”
“You’re an angel in white.”
“I’m your angel.”
Bending down, he gripped the hem of the nightie and pulled it over my head. Closing my eyes, I leaned my back against the shower stall as he took in my appearance. When he didn’t reach out for me, I opened my eyes.
Jake was staring right below my chest. When I glanced down, I gasped. Somehow in my nervousness and enthusiasm, I had thrown my negligee on over my chest wrap. My hand flew to cover my eyes. “Oh God, I’m such an idiot! What a way to ruin a moment,” I moaned.
With a chuckle, Jake pulled my hand from my eyes. “I assume it comes off just like the lingerie, right?”
“Yes.”
He winked at me. “Then stop worrying. I’ll just take it off.” Bringing his fingers to the clip, Jake then started unwrapping the bandage. I began to twist from side to side to help him get it off quicker. With a wicked grin, he said, “You know, this makes me think of that scene in the movie Shakespeare in Love where Will unbinds Viola’s breasts.”
I laughed. “The very fact you know that movie is very swoonworthy, Mr. Slater,” I teased.
“Hey, don’t be acting like I’m not a romantic. I was quoting Romeo and Juliet the first night we were together.”
I cocked my brows at him. “Right after I had to prove that you could get it up for a virgin.”
Jake winced. “I was such a douche to you.”
I leaned in and kissed him. “I’ve forgiven you for all your douche moments in the past.”
“Thanks, Angel,” Jake replied with a grin. Once he finished taking off my bandage, Jake’s expression darkened, and he sucked in a harsh breath. I knew he was surprised by how bruised I still was. Most of them had faded, but there was still a yellow and green discoloration all around my ribcage and abdomen.
I cupped his cheek and shook my head. “Please don’t do that. I promise you they don’t hurt.”
Dropping to his knees, Jake began feathering tender kisses along my ribs and across my stomach. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, his breath warming my already scorching skin.
I gripped the strands of his hair and gently pulled his head back to look at me. “Stop apologizing for something you couldn’t help. You’re not the one who did this to me, and I will never, ever blame you.”
He rested his cheek against my stomach. “I love you, Angel.”
“I love you, too, Jake.”
As his fingers grazed the waist band of my thong, he glanced up at me. I gave a short nod of my head before he tugged it down my thighs. We were both totally naked together for the first time ever, and I shivered with anticipation.
“Are you cold?”
“No, I just want you.”
A pained noise came from the
back of Jake’s throat. He kissed my inner thighs before nudging my legs further apart. Staring up at me, he held my gaze as his tongue flicked out to lick across my folds. I sucked in a breath and let my head fall back against the shower wall as his warm tongue worked over me. He lapped and suckled at my clit to where I was rocking my hips against him. He took one of my feet and pulled it up to rest on his shoulder giving him better access. The moment he thrust his tongue inside me I came apart and cried out his name.
Once I came back to myself, I figured he would stand up, but instead, he remained on his knees. He pulled away momentarily to tease my opening with one finger before pushing it inside. He added two and then three to swirl and move within me. With his free hand, his fingers skimmed over my stomach before coming to cup one of my breasts.
I was on sensory overload as my nipple peaked under his attention. His hand then snaked over to the other breast to bring it to a hardened nub as well. All the while he kept plunging his fingers in and out of me while his thumb made my clit feel like it was going to explode.
Gripping the strands of his hair, I cried out his name over and over again as I came. If it were possible, I think I had experienced an even stronger orgasm that time. When I gazed down at Jake with hooded eyes, he frowned.
“What’s wrong?”
“Baby, you’re so tight. I’m worried about hurting you.”
“I’ll be fine,” I panted.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, dammit, now take me to bed and make love to me!” I demanded.
Jake chuckled. “Boy, you get bossy when you come, don’t you?”
“Please?”
“Well, I never actually took a shower.” When I started to protest, he grabbed the body wash. Pushing my hands together, he squirted some into my palms. “Wash me, Angel.”
Bringing my palms to his chest, I worked my hands over his pecs, down along his heavily tattooed arms, and then to his rock hard abs. As my hands skimmed above his waist, his stomach tensed while his erection bucked up against my hand. Eying it, I couldn’t help but start to feel some of the anxiety Jake had earlier. I pressed myself flush against Jake to reach around to wash his back before I let my hands dip down to grip his butt cheeks.
With our bodies so close, Jake began to slide his erection against my folds. I gasped and rocked back against him. Just as I began to get carried away again, he stopped. In a ragged breath he said, “We need to get to the bed.”
“Okay,” I replied.
When we stepped out of the shower, Jake didn’t even bother with a towel. He swept me off my feet and then proceeded to carry me to the bed. Gently, he deposited me on the side of the mattress. Drawing my knees up, I wrapped my arms around my legs while I watched as Jake opened the top nightstand drawer. He pulled out a condom and a bottle of something I didn’t recognize. At what I guess was my questioning expression, he replied, “It’s lube. It’ll make this first time easier for you.”
“I see.” I tilted my head up at him. “So you have a whole drawer of sex goodies in there?”
“It’s not what you’re thinking, Angel,” Jake replied as he ripped open the foil wrapper.
“And just what am I thinking?”
“That I use this loft as my swinging bachelor pad where I bring all my conquests and bang them.”
I hated myself for being that easy to read. “Are you sure, or are you just giving me a line so I won’t bail on you?”
He grinned. “I keep this out here because it’s the one place that’s off limits for Mama and her cleaning lady. I would prefer to keep this aspect of my life private.”
“Yes, it would break the poor cleaning lady’s heart to find out you were such a naughty boy.”
With a shudder, Jake replied, “Not to mention my mama.”
My laughter died on my lips as Jake began putting on the condom. Even though I wanted to look away, I couldn’t help being fascinated by the sight of him sliding it down his extreme length. When he finished, his eyes met mine, and he nudged my shoulder gently with his own. I then scooted on my butt to the center of the mattress. On his knees, Jake crawled along the bed until he was looming over me.
He kissed me tenderly before plunging his tongue into my mouth. Although I hadn’t kissed a lot of guys or men, I knew good when I experienced it, and Jake was very, very good. As he ravaged my mouth, I felt moisture growing between my legs again. Jake’s hands managed to be everywhere all at once. They were kneading my breasts, caressing my buttocks, or slipping between my legs to stroke me. I shivered in spite of the beads of sweat breaking out along my skin from the heat building within me.
As Jake settled himself between my thighs, I couldn’t help but tense up. This was it—the big moment, and I couldn’t help being nervous. I had to draw in a few deep breaths to calm me down and keep from going into full on panic mode.
When his erection nudged at my entrance, I pinched my eyes shut, bracing myself for the pain.
“Don’t close your eyes,” he whispered, his breath fanning against my cheek. My eyelids fluttered open to take in Jake’s intense stare. “I love you, Angel.”
“I love you, too.”
As he pushed inside me, tears stung my eyes both from the physical pain and the emotional enormity of the moment. “I’m so sorry, baby,” Jake murmured as he kissed away the tears that had escaped in salty streaks down my face.
“It’s okay. I want this…I want you,” I replied as I tried inhaling a few deep breaths. Once Jake felt like I was accustomed to him, he withdrew and thrust back into me. This time it was both painful and pleasurable. “Mmm.”
“Better?”
“Yes.”
He then began to move within me. After a few minutes, the pain evaporated, and I began to feel like raising my hips to meet his thrusts. That caused Jake to moan with pleasure. As we moved in perfect sync together, Jake brought his lips to mine and began to kiss me passionately. His tongue plunged into my mouth and mimicked his movements inside me. A hot flush ran over me from the top of my head down to my toes, and I couldn’t help tearing my mouth away from his to pant and moan with pleasure.
Although it felt so very, very good, I knew I wasn’t going to come like I had before. When I felt Jake’s body tensing, I wrapped my arms around his back, drawing him closer to me. “Oh Abby!” he cried as he shuddered with his release. I rubbed circles over his back as he continued to tremble within me.
When Jake pulled his head away from my shoulder, I smiled up at him. “That was so amazing, baby. I love you so much for giving it to me.”
“I love you too, but…” His brows furrowed.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“You didn’t come.”
My cheeks warmed at his comment. “No, but I think that’s kinda normal for girls the first time.” When Jake didn’t respond, I took his face in my hands. “I did twice before though.”
“Yeah, but…”
I smiled. “Baby, you just gave me the best experience of my entire life.”
He scowled. “You have nothing to gauge it by. I coulda been lousy as hell, and you’d think it was rainbows and unicorns.”
“Are you trying to ruin my making love for the first time just because your ego is bruised because I didn’t come?” I snapped.
His expression softened. “No, that’s not it.”
“Well, that’s what it sounded like to me.” I snatched my hands away from his face. “I’ve been waiting and wondering my entire adult life what sex would be like, and for me, you blew away all my expectations. So what if I didn’t come when you were inside me? It was my first freakin’ time, and for the first part, it hurt like hell!”
When I started to climb off the mattress, Jake wrapped me in his arms. “I’m sorry, Angel.”
“Yeah, well, you should be. Asshole!”
He chuckled. “Trust me, I am.” With his fingers, he tipped my chin up to look at him. “You were right. I was being a complete and total dick because I thought I had total
ly fucked up your first time because you didn’t come.” He tenderly kissed my cheek. “It’s hard for me getting used to the all the emotions with sex. It’s overwhelming being your first.”
“So what you’re trying to say is you were under a lot of pressure?”
“Yeah, but it was worth it. It was fucking amazing.” He grinned. “You were fucking amazing.”
“Really?” I asked, my voice rising an octave.
Jake propped himself up on one elbow to stare at me. “You know what made it for me? It was the look in your eyes as you were experiencing every range of emotion from the physical pain to the emotional connection. Your eyes are so expressive, and I felt like I was really, really inside you.”
My heartbeat raced at his thoughtful words, and for a moment, I could only reply, “Oh wow.” I cocked my head at him. “So does that mean you like making love better than fucking?”
Jake chuckled as his finger came to trace my lips. “Such a dirty mouth you have, Angel.”
“You’re avoiding the question.”
“I plan on continuing to make love to you as well as introducing you to fucking.”
I grinned. “I look forward to that.”
“Now come here and let me spoon you again.”
I happily snuggled up to him. After all, who would argue with that?
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
* * *
Abby
Sunlight streamed across my face, warming my cheek. Yawning, I started to stretch when I realized I was imprisoned by two muscular, tattooed arms. When I tried squirming away, Jake tightened his hold on me. “Where do you think you’re going, Angel?” he murmured drowsily.
“Nowhere,” I replied. Glancing over my shoulder at him, I grinned. “I’m not used to waking up naked with a guy.”
Jake’s closed eyes popped open. “Hmm, that’s right. Since I’ve got you naked and in my arms, I think I should make the most of the moment. Don’t you?”
Rock Star Romance Ultimate Volume 2 Page 25
