With that, I turned away and sprinted out of the room. As I raced out the front door, AJ called my name, but I ignored him. Not even thinking of where I was going or how I would get there, I ran headlong off the porch and into the blinding downpour.
I got halfway down the gravel drive before I heard Jake’s voice cutting through the rain. “Abby! Please wait!”
Whirling around, I jabbed a finger at him. “Leave me alone now, Jake. I may have made a promise to Susan to try and give you second chances when you screw up, but you’re testing my sanity right now… ”
My voice trailed off as Jake sank to his knees in the mud. His chest rose and fell with harsh sobs as he buried his face in the hem of my dress. “I’m sorry. Oh Christ, Angel, I’m so, so sorry.”
Unblinking and unmoving, I stared at him in shock. I didn’t know what to say or do. He had hurt me so deeply that part of me wanted to kick him off of me. “Jake, I—”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he repeated, clutching the backs of my knees. “I didn’t mean any of it—I swear to God I didn’t. I made AJ promise not to call you or get you to come because I couldn’t bear the thought of you seeing me like this.” He shook his head forlornly. “When you showed up, I thought I would die, and I couldn’t think of anything but driving you away. So I said and did all that shit just to hurt you, so you’d run away. You’re right when you called me an unimaginable asshole.”
When I gasped, he stared up at me, tears shimmering in his eyes. “But the moment you slapped me, it was like I saw everything so clearly again. I couldn’t imagine not having you in my life, and I hated myself for doing that to you.”
“Oh Jake,” I murmured.
“And I swear to God that I do love you—I’ve never loved any girl like I have loved you. You are the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me in my life. It’s just…I don’t know what to do with all this,” he smacked his hands against his drenched chest. “I barely know how to be with someone when I’m whole. How the hell am I supposed to be with you when I’m so fucking broken?”
Any anger I still harbored for him melted in an instant. I ran my fingers through the wet strands of his hair. “Baby, that’s what love is. Standing by someone in the good times and the bad.”
“You deserve better than what I’ve got to give you. I should’ve walked away from you a long time ago rather than being selfish and trying to keep you with me.”
I shook my head. “You couldn’t have kept me away. I love you too much. That’s why I’m here now.”
His face contorted into a mask of agony. “She’s going to leave me. Please say you’ll stay—even though I don’t deserve you.”
“I’m not going to leave you.” I eased down onto the ground to wrap my arms around him. “I’m going to be here for you every step of the way. Just lean on me,” I whispered in his ear. He began sobbing again, clutching me tight against him. “It’s okay, baby,” I murmured, running my hands over his back.
The rain continued beating down on us as Jake wept uncontrollably. When he finally started coming back to himself, he sighed raggedly. “I’m sorry, Angel.”
I eased out of his embrace to stare into his eyes. “No more apologies, okay?”
He nodded before rising to his feet. Offering me his hand, he pulled me up. Wrapping his arm around my shoulder, he drew me to him as we started the walk back to the house. When we got inside, I was once again overwhelmed by all the friends and family filling the rooms. Jake ushered me inside his bedroom. AJ had brought my bag inside, so I quickly changed my drenched clothes while Jake did as well.
I was drying my hair when Jake appeared behind me in the bathroom. “Come with me to see Mama.” I quickly shut off the hairdryer and followed him across the hall. A hospital bed now sat in the room where Susan’s massive four-poster bed had once been. Her frail form seemed dwarfed in the bed. Her sister, Sally, and some of her nieces sat on the couch in the corner while her father perched in a chair. They acknowledged my presence with sad smiles.
Jake motioned for me to have a seat in one of the chairs pulled close to the bed. I eased down as I watched him sit down across from me. Jake took Susan’s hand in his and kissed it. “Mama, I’m here,” he said softly.
I don’t know how long we sat like that—still as statues and waiting for some kind of response from her. I gasped when Susan’s eyelids finally fluttered open, and she gazed around the room. I knew exactly who she was looking for. Once Jake reached forward and grabbed her hand, a beaming smile stretched across her face. “Jacob.”’
“Yes, Mama?”
“Do you remember the story I used to tell you about why you became a musician?”
Jacob’s brows furrowed as if he was confused by her question. “Um, yeah, I do, but what—”
She shook her head and then turned to me. “I’ve always teased Jacob that he owes all his success as a singer and guitarist to me.”
I smiled. “Does he?”
“Oh yes. Because of my studio and teaching dance lessons, he was surrounded by music while I was carrying him. He got hours of the greats like Mozart, Beethoven, and Brahms. I always felt him kicking the most when I was teaching a class. It was like he was letting me know he felt the music already.”
“That’s such a sweet story.”
Susan drew in a ragged breath. “You know I was never supposed to be able to have children. After four miscarriages, I had given up on ever giving birth to a child of my own. Mark and I had begun to look into adoption when I got pregnant again. With all the other pregnancies, I’d been so careful to stay off my feet in the early days and weeks, but this time I didn’t let myself get attached. Instead, I did everything I usually did—rode horses on my dad’s farm and taught dance classes from morning until night. I didn’t let myself believe that I could really be pregnant. But after another month passed and I was still pregnant, I began to hope and pray that this time it was for real. And when I got into my second trimester—weeks after I had lost the other babies, I knew I was finally going to have my miracle.”
She turned her head to gaze at Jake. Tears streamed freely down his cheeks, and he didn’t bother wiping them away. “My sweet son, you’ve always been the sunshine in my life—”
Pinching his eyes shut, Jake pleaded, “Don’t do this.”
“I have to say goodbye, honey, and you have to let me do this.”
His chest rose and fell with harsh sobs as he buried his face onto her chest. When her hand stroked the top of his head, I couldn’t hold my emotions back any longer, and I began to weep. At my sniffling, Susan smiled. “Abby, after I’m gone, I want you to remind Jacob of the story of his birth. When he gets so down and low that he cannot stand or when he thinks there isn’t any reason to go on, tell him the story. Remind him that he was a miracle and the most precious gift I ever received.”
Tears spilled across my face and dripped onto my lap as I leaned forward to take her hand in mine. “I will. I promise I will.” I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it before pressing it to my cheek. “I promise to make sure that he never, ever gives up, no matter how much he wants to.”
“I thank God he has you, sweet girl. You’ll take good care of each other.” She smiled as tears shimmered in her eyes. “You two are going to be so happy together and make the most beautiful grandchildren for me.”
Her words made both Jake and me cry even harder. “Oh Mama,” Jake sobbed. He reached up to tenderly kiss her cheek.
“You have to let me go, baby.”
He shook his head wildly back and forth. “I can’t do it. Please don’t ask me to do that.”
She rubbed her hand along his face. “It’s not goodbye for forever. We’ll see each other again. And until then, you live a full, happy life and make me proud.”
“I will.”
Susan smiled. “Now tell me goodbye.”
Jake’s anguished expression broke me, and I wept openly. His chest rose and fell with harsh breaths. “Goodbye, Mama.
I love you so much.”
“Thank you, sweetheart. And I love you too.” Susan’s gaze then turned to me. “Abby, do you remember that angel song from Oh Brother Where Art Thou?”
We’d watched the movie together probably three or four times when I was recovering from my beating. She loved the Cohen Brothers films as much as she loved George Clooney. “Yes, Angel Band. I know it.”
“Sing it to me, please.”
I didn’t know how I could breathe through my sobs, let alone sing, but somehow I steadied myself and tried to draw on strength I didn’t know if I had. “My latest sun is sinking fast. My race is almost run,” I began.
“That’s it. So beautiful,” she murmured. She then closed her eyes while Jake kept his arms wrapped around her. As I kept on singing, a gentle smile formed on her lips. Her breathing grew more and more labored. When I got to the last verse, she drew in one last breath.
And then she was gone.
Jake fell apart, burying his face on Susan’s chest and crying hysterically. A symphony of wailing echoed throughout the room as Sally and her daughters began crying as well as Jake’s grandfather. I stepped around the side of the bed to wrap my arms around him. “I’m so sorry,” I murmured over and over.
Just when I thought he would collapse from exhausted grief, Jake jerked his head up. He unwrapped my arms from him. “I have to get out of here,” he muttered before he sprinted out the room. I met AJ in the hallway. “Go to him,” he urged.
I nodded and then hurried after Jake. When I got to the porch, I glanced left and right before running to the barn. “Jake?” I called. Silence echoed around me. Whirling around, I then ran down the hill to the stables. I peeked in several stalls until I saw him standing in one.
With tears still streaming down his cheeks, Jake was saddling up a towering black horse. Sensing my presence, Jake said, “I have to get away from here. I need to take a ride.”
I stepped back as he led the horse out of the stall. “I’ll go with you.”
He glanced at me in shock. “You don’t ride horses after you got thrown as a kid,” he reminded me.
A shiver went over me at the memory from all those years passed, but I shook my head. “I’ll ride them for you.”
Jake stared at me for a minute before taking my hand. He pulled me over to the horse. “This is Lennon.” He gave me a sheepish grin. “Brayden might be a Paul McCartney fan, but it’s all about John Lennon for me.”
“I like it.”
“Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.”
Tension and unspoken words hung heavy between us. I was at a loss for what to say to comfort him. He’d just experienced the worse loss of his life, and I was afraid I might not be enough to fill the void. Maybe there wasn’t anything I could say—maybe all he needed was me by his side, showing my love and support.
Jake brushed the wet strands of hair out of my face. “You can hold tight to me. I won’t let you fall, Angel.”
“And I won’t let you either.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself against him. I gave him a lingering kiss. “We’ll ride this storm together, Jake. Forever and always.”
His warm breath fanned across my cheek. “And you’ll always be my sweet angel—my saving grace and the love of my life.”
EPILOGUE
* * *
Jake
A deep, regretful sigh escaped my lips as I stared down at the bronze marker memorializing my mother. Although I had gone all out to get her the best there was, it still seemed like an inadequate representation of how amazing a woman and mother she was.
Abby’s arm encircled my waist, pulling me to her. She leaned her head on my shoulder. “Are you sure you don’t need a minute alone?”
“No, I want you here.” I kissed the crown of her head. “I always want you with me.”
“And I always want to be here for you.”
I smiled down at her. “Besides, Mama would want you here. She loved you like I do.”
Abby’s chin trembled. “And I loved her too. I always will.”
At the sound of crunching leaves behind us, Abby and I turned around. A tall, lean man came striding toward us. His arms were laden with dozens of pink roses. When he got almost to us, he stopped abruptly. His dark green eyes scanned our faces. “Excuse me, are you part of Susan Moore’s—I mean, Susan Slater’s family.”
My brows shot up at his thick Russian accent. “I’m her son.”
A hesitant smile formed on his lips. “Of course. I see the resemblance now.” His gaze left mine to take in my mother’s grave. Regret filled his face. “I’m so sorry I didn’t get here for the funeral. I didn’t know she was sick. I would’ve liked…” He drew in a sharp breath like he was trying to control his emotions. “I would have liked to have seen her again.”
“How did you know her?” I asked.
“We used to dance together many years ago.”
Abby’s arm jerked from my waist to cover her mouth. Her eyes had widened as big as saucers. “Oh my God. You’re Yuri?”
He smiled. “Yes, but how did you know?”
“Susan told me about you.”
“Wait, what?” I asked.
Ignoring me, I watched as Abby closed the gap between her and Yuri. She leaned up to whisper something in his ear. An agonized sob escaped his lips. When she finally pulled away, tears streamed down his cheeks. “Really?”
Abby nodded.
“Thank you,” he murmured. Swiping his cheeks, he turned his attention to me. “May I have a moment with her?”
“Sure. We really have to be going anyway,” I replied.
“Nice meeting you,” Yuri said.
“You too,” Abby replied while I nodded.
As we walked away, Abby took my hand in hers. “Who the hell is that guy and what did my mom tell you about him?” I demanded.
“It was something she wanted just between us—a girl’s thing.”
I skidded to a stop. “Please tell me that dude isn’t my real father or something like that!”
Abby’s blue eyes widened. “No, no, of course it’s nothing sordid like that!”
“Tell me,” I growled. When she shot me her infamous ‘Don’t you dare use that tone with me, Jake Slater’, look, I grunted in frustration. I hated begging, and she knew it. “Please.”
“Okay, since you asked nicely, I’ll fill you in on the way to the concert.”
The idea of a benefit concert in my mother’s memory had been Abby’s idea. She wanted it to be a hometown crowd for those who knew and loved my mom as well as me. All proceeds would go to cancer research and the American Cancer Society. She organized everything from having us perform in the park behind the high school where both my mom and I went to school. It would also be the opening of our newly billed act, The Crossroads Tour, where Jacob’s Ladder and Runaway Train teamed up together for a North American tour.
After performing with her brothers, Abby and I would be singing several duets before Runaway Train came on, including I’ll Take You with Me. It had been bittersweet when the song shot to number one on the Billboard Top 100 the day of Mama’s funeral. Although everyone was heralding it as the most emotional break-up song of the year, I knew the truth. It was about immense heartbreak and suffering—just not the kind they thought.
Since we were performing in a park, we had to get ready in our tour buses. My first order of business for our upcoming tour was to ensure that Abby and I had our own bus, so we could be alone without interruptions. Always thinking of someone else, Abby had insisted that we share it a lot with Brayden so that he and Lily could have more family time. Until then, I planned on christening every square inch of it with her when we got on the road. Tonight, however, there was no time for funny business.
Besides organizing the venue and bands, it had also been Abby’s idea for everyone to dress-up, so to speak, in respect for my mama. The guys from both bands were wearing black dress pants, black shirts and black ties. A single pink ribbon f
or Breast Cancer awareness was pinned to our lapels. Although strapless, Abby’s black dress came to her knees and met the tops of her black cowboy boots. Wrapped around her neck were my mother’s pearls. She wore them often, and every time she did, it made my heart ache with both pleasure and pain at the bond the two amazing women in my life once shared.
A stylist was still working on my hair when they came to escort Abby to the stage. After what had happened with Bree, I insisted on two bodyguards each and every time. She leaned over the chair to kiss my cheek. “See you in a few, babe.”
“Bye Angel,” I replied.
As soon as I was finished, I headed to the wings so I could watch Abby perform. I never got tired of watching her work a crowd. She was truly amazing in every aspect of her life. After singing several songs of her brothers’ hits, Abby sat alone on the stage with her guitar. “This song is for all of you out there who know the pain of loss and the anguish of grief.” She then began strumming the opening of Pink’s Beam Me Up. Her voice filled the stadium and warmed my soul. It meant so much that I had someone to share my grief with. Abby hadn’t known Mama long, but she still loved her. Having my Angel stand by me in the darkest, most hellish times of my life meant everything in the world.
Glancing over my shoulder, I grinned at the guys. “Damn, she’s amazing, isn’t she?”
With one arm wrapped around Lily’s waist and Melody in the other, Brayden smiled. “She gets better and better every time I hear her.”
AJ nodded. “But I still don’t know what the hell she sees in you.”
“Douchebag!” I shouted before ruffling his hair.
“Hey man, don’t be hating on the hair!” he countered smacking my hand away.
Rhys rolled his eyes at our antics and went back to texting on his phone. I knew he was fighting his nerves because his parents were in the audience. They’d flown up in his dad’s corporate jet. Like the true angel she was, Abby had called to invite them. She had also gone on and on about what an amazing son they had and how proud they should be.
Rock Star Romance Ultimate Volume 2 Page 28
