“Hi, EJ,” she greeted her.
“Hi—you’ve been there the whole time? You could have come out.”
Lily tossed a wry glance at her brother and adjusted her glasses. “No, I could not. This thing has been highly choreographed.”
“Lily is going to come west for the summer, too.”
“Katerina got us a sweet house rental when she lined this up for Will. Mom’s brownstone is great, but it doesn’t have a pool. Besides, I’ve never been to California.”
EJ looked back at Will, who seemed a bit too pleased with himself. “Okay, let’s say I’m amenable. It’s not fair to Lily to stick her with a goopy couple. Let me call Tessa. She’s going to be interning at Bryce Canyon in Utah, and I know she got refundable plane tickets—if she’s down, I’m down. I’ll even cover her BoltBus from New York.” EJ dug for her phone and dialed, jumping about a foot when she heard Tessa’s ringtone chirp from the back of the Winnebago.
“Surprise!” Tessa cried as she hopped out.
EJ gaped at her friend, then turned back to a smirking Will. “You ridiculous person,” she said, kissing him anyway. “I guess we’re going on a road trip.” Everyone cheered.
“Y’all come inside,” EJ said, leading the way to the house. “There’s lemonade, and we can start looking at itineraries—and I can tell my mom we’re having people over.”
“There’s no need. I’ve booked a hotel,” Will countered.
“Ha!” Tessa scoffed. “EJ’s mom is the model of southern hospitality, and EJ’s dad isn’t just gonna let you whisk his baby to California. You’re staying here, probably in the basement.”
“Looks like you didn’t think of everything, big bro.” Lily laughed as they entered the house.
Tessa was right. EJ’s parents welcomed the visitors and insisted they stay at the Davis home. Will spent his nights on the basement foldout. Mr. Davis briefly cornered him. It was after dinner the first night. The genial man brought Will linens and a towel while the ladies were playing Scrabble in the dining room. Will went to take the linens, but Mr. Davis did not release them. Instead, he spoke.
“Rule number one: if my daughter feels unsafe, uncomfortable, or unwelcome anywhere, you leave. Follow her lead. She’s been black in America longer than you’ve been considering what that means.”
Will nodded and tried to take the sheets; they didn’t budge. He didn’t budge.
“Rule number two,” Mr. Davis continued, “do not needlessly endanger my daughter’s life. Be polite to police officers even if you are being treated unfairly. Same goes for any member of our government with a gun. This comes with the territory of dating a black girl. It’s your problem, too.”
Will swallowed hard and nodded again.
“Finally . . .” Mr. Davis stepped back and folded his arms. Will still felt frozen to the spot. “I’m not a shotgun kind of father; that sort of thing would not be effective with the strongheaded girls I raised. But that does not mean I am a laissez-faire parent, either. If I see an iceberg in the ocean of my child’s happiness, I sound the alarm.” Mr. Davis paused and seemed to be searching Will’s face for . . . something.
“You seem to care for my baby girl, and that’s good. Ordinarily, I’d leave you two alone, to see what happens. However, Ella is at that point in her life where she’s making a lot of decisions—decisions that may change the direction of her whole life, and you are a factor. Are you aware of that?”
“Yes, sir,” Will responded emphatically. He’d never called another man sir in his life before. “She’s a factor in my decisions, too.”
Mr. Davis looked at Will for another moment of prolonged silence and gave him the faintest hint of a smile, satisfied for now. “Good. I should hate to learn that you were careless in these matters.”
EJ’s father walked away, jovially calling, “Who wants some iced tea?” to the Scrabble combatants. Will walked down to the basement, wondering how he’d been so cowed by a husky man in a sweater vest and glasses.
On the Road
The westward-bound youth rose before dawn and were on the road by sunrise. They drove south, down Skyline Drive, windows open because it was still spring and pleasantly warm instead of miserably hot. During this first part of the trip, EJ drove and Will rode shotgun. She didn’t need much navigation yet. This was the way to Grandma Jackie’s house. Two hours south of Charlottesville, EJ introduced her friends to Waffle House and tried to convince them that Dollywood would be a worthwhile detour.
When they crossed into Tennessee, EJ blasted Dolly’s version of the state song, “Rocky Top.” Her bland middle-class Maryland accent acquired a generous dollop of honey and butter—just like it did during childhood summers at her grandma’s house.
At the one gas station that still had a Slush Puppie machine, the friends switched places. Now the undergrads were driving while EJ and Will reluctantly started talking about the future. Once the euphoria surrounding EJ’s triumph had dissipated, both realized that her fellowship was the worst-case scenario for their relationship.
“Where did the program place you?” Will asked, looking for a place to begin.
“University of Edinburgh—I got my wish. It was the highest-ranked one of those I applied for. That’s the committee’s preference, to keep the prestige.”
Will nodded, and EJ stared out the window, searching the fields for cows she could smell but not see.
“When do classes start?”
“September thirtieth. When I originally applied, I was going to start my school year in January, but once I decided to take the summer off, I realized that a six-month break would be too much. Plus, Edinburgh is gorgeous in the fall.” EJ shifted in her seat and continued. “I’ve got to be back home by August. We’ve got a family reunion, and I basically promised my mom a full month before I leave, mid-September.”
Will nodded again, frowning a little. “With me out in LA, we pretty much have July, right?” Neither of them could say and then it’s over.
EJ bit her bottom lip and sighed. She spoke softly, as if trying to convince herself. “I think so. I mean, super long distance just doesn’t make sense. Your work and my school leave little room for a relationship as is.”
“That’s true,” he said without conviction. Will was still strategizing.
In Knoxville, they pulled their Winnie into the parking lot of a pleasant chain hotel. Will sprang for their rooms over EJ’s noisy protests about “perfectly good beds” in the trailer. He wanted some private time with his girlfriend. Also, he’d napped in enough trailers on set to know he didn’t want to spend the night in one.
EJ saw his wisdom while starfishing on their king-sized bed. Later that night, she held Will tightly and kissed his shoulders, memorizing him. Will lay awake and tried to think of options.
The next morning Tessa drove while EJ navigated. EJ pointed out everything familiar on the drive as they headed to Memphis, the house her mother grew up in, only a few miles away. Auntie Celia lived there now but was out of town on a church retreat with Uncle Willy. Though EJ knew the house was empty, it felt strange to be so close and not go by. She made up for this by overloading Tessa with anecdotes.
In the back of the RV, Will and his sister quietly reviewed his options. “We could have an open relationship,” he offered, blue-sky thinking. “I mean, it’s only for a year.”
“It’s two years, remember,” Lily corrected him.
“Right,” Will said.
She straightened her glasses. “And I may not know EJ super well, maybe she could do an open relationship. But not you—you are in no way wiggly about your monogamy standards.”
“I could be flexible,” he protested.
“Bro, the people who can do open relationships honestly are the people that don’t want monogamy. If you do want monogamy but can’t have it, an open relationship isn’t for you. You’ll end up punishing her for taking you at your word,” Lily advised.
Seeing her brother unconvinced, she forced the issue. “O
kay, let’s try a visualization exercise: You’re walking through a forest. The trees are very tall and have bright-green leaves.” Her voice was soothing, cool as a shaded pond.
“Look down the tree, down from the spidery branches, down to thick limbs, down the rough bark of the trunk. Look at the base of the tree. There is EJ sucking some guy’s cock.” Will’s eyes popped open.
Lily continued. “She doesn’t love the guy—doesn’t particularly like him, but—” She looked over at her brother. He was sulky and green around the gills.
“The idea alone makes you sick to your stomach. An open relationship would not work.”
“I’m not ready to say goodbye,” he said.
“Then don’t,” she replied gently. “You have the summer. Don’t say goodbye until it is goodbye.”
In Memphis the four stopped for lunch and strolled down a piece of Beale. Will admitted he could see the appeal of Tennessee but still didn’t know what he’d do every day. At a souvenir store, Lily bought magnets, and Tessa found a couple of postcards to decorate her door next year. Then they drove hard to reach Little Rock by nightfall, wanting to avoid any small towns. Arriving late in the evening, they found a Days Inn flanked by a Sonic and a Dairy Queen like an answer to all prayers.
After dinner, EJ and Will went to bed early (sex) while Tessa and Lily wandered over to the Dairy Queen to see what the fuss was all about. The pair had become fast friends in the car with their similar, and often ridiculed, taste in television. Both were delighted to have long discussions on which Real Housewives iteration was the best without shame and spent much of the drive through Tennessee doing just that. Between traded bites of a dip cone and Butterfinger Blizzard, they discussed Will and EJ.
“How is she doing?”
“She’s ecstatic about her fellowship, of course, but with the impending separation . . . not so good. However, she is determined to look strong and fine so that Will won’t do anything noble. She’s terrified of Will sacrificing his career and then resenting her.” Tessa sipped noisily. “Him?”
“Not good. He doesn’t know what to do, and he hates that,” Lily said. “It’s sad. They’d be perfect together if the timing was right.”
“Honestly, I don’t think things are so insurmountable,” Tessa countered. “I mean, her program’s only two years, that’s not long for a science. After that she should have her pick of offers. If Will wants to be in LA, she can come to California. They just have to wait.”
In the motel, after the afterglow, EJ opened the window a crack and adjusted the miniblinds to paint perfect stripes on Will’s skin.
“It’s not that long, Ella,” he said, close to pleading. “Would a couple of years of really long distance be so bad?” She came back to bed and retangled their legs in the scratchy sheets. Will’s eyes pressed her for an answer. EJ stroked each variegated shadow on his arm with her fingertips.
“You know, I’m not sure I would have had the guts to ask for what I wanted from the fellowship if I hadn’t run into you in the gallery,” EJ said. Will could see her eyes darting around the room in the darkness. “Now I have everything I asked for, and all I want is you.” She shrugged shyly, rippling the sheets. “It’s a terrible thing, all this wanting.”
Will held his breath, waiting for EJ to finish her thought.
“Oh, my William,” she whispered, on the edge of tears. “Have you seen you in the moonlight? You could ask me to do terrible things,” she continued with a sniffle.
Instantly, Will understood the danger and Mr. Davis’s worry. EJ, in this moment, was prepared to chuck away every important thing—for him. If they stayed together, she’d be ready to run back across the ocean the moment he said the word.
He kissed her fingertips, then placed her palm against his heart.
“I would never ask, know that—please, Ella.” Then he kissed her instead of saying the words because loving her meant letting her go.
She held him close, listening for the soft snore of his slumber. Then she said the words into his hair and slept.
All the travelers were wide eyed once they crossed the Mississippi. Only Will and Tessa had been that far west—and that was by plane. None of them had seen much of the middle with their own eyes. Will drove. Simon and Garfunkel’s “America” played on the stereo. EJ leaned out the window and sang to the highway.
When the quartet reached the Grand Canyon, they stared in silent awe of nature at work for thousands of years. Even Tessa, who’d frantically snapped photos out the window through much of the Painted Desert, put her camera down after a few clicks. “Sometimes you have to take a picture with your heart,” she surmised. Returning to the car, everyone was very much living in the now.
California
They dropped Tessa off in Utah and then drove on to California. The less said about the traffic into LA the better, especially after days of open highway. When the party reached the adorable bungalow Katerina had secured in Toluca Lake, all were too tired and irritable to fully take it in. Only after the restorative powers of television, rest, chlorine, and bath bubbles were applied did the caravanners begin to appreciate the house’s mismatched charm.
The mission-style house was full of ideas. It had faux Victorian art, art deco lamps, and 1950s tile in the kitchen. A thorough exploration of the grounds revealed a firepit and a game room, in addition to the advertised pool and a bonus pool house. Once they realized it was basically a small apartment, Lily immediately claimed it for her own. “So you two don’t have to worry about being too noisy,” she said, making her brother blush.
EJ called her parents to report their safe arrival. Will and Lily messaged their West Coast friends with similar news. The next day Will, EJ, and Lily met up with Lee at Venice Beach. They did the boardwalk, watching the jugglers and dodging the Rollerbladers. Lee and Lily played Frisbee while Will and EJ went to walk in the surf. They were, as Lily accurately put it, “happy California clichés.” Emphasis on happy.
Celebrity Karaoke Challenge had been an undeniable hit. It had the universality necessary for summer shows: it could be put on in any hotel room, vacation home, or airport lounge and please almost anyone. The show allowed Will to be surprisingly fun and generally charming. It made him a bona fide star. Now the BBC and PBS were coproducing his kids’ show, and ITV reached out to him to host a show that was half Cribs, half Sister Wendy. As summer wound down, Will started receiving offers almost daily. There were many hosting opportunities, a couple of three-camera sitcoms, a Lifetime movie about Nathan Chen, and others he still had to sort through. Katerina sent the jobs to her client as they came, with one question at the end of every email: WHAT DO YOU WANT? He’d been asking this question all year in therapy. Now at last he had an answer—no, a memory.
It was the morning of his first set day. EJ got up early to have breakfast with him. “My sacrifice,” she said, yawning and taking down the French press. She hummed something sweet and unrecognizable while Will scooped yogurt and granola into bowls. He watched EJ, in a tank top and lace undies, do what he’d dubbed her “coffee flamingo dance.” While the coffee steeped, she rose onto her toes, balancing on one leg and pointing the suspended knee outward, then switching. Her back was perfectly straight—proof you could take the woman out of ballet, but you couldn’t take the ballet out of the woman. Over breakfast they talked of inconsequential things or the state of the world, he couldn’t quite recall.
What he could remember was the feeling of her leg pressed against his under the table, her good-luck kisses and her goodbye kisses. When he closed his eyes, Will could see EJ smiling at him over her mug of coffee as he left for the day. “If I could see her every morning, I could be happy forever,” he said to himself.
Understanding what he wanted most, Will called Katerina and chose his next path.
A New Moon
EJ had been trying to pack for three days. Tomorrow she’d be taking the Amtrak up the California coast to Seattle before flying home. It was supposed to be one of the la
st great railway trips in North America, but she was having a hard time getting excited about it. All she wanted to do was rest her head on Will’s chest while they filled out the crossword. She didn’t want to leave, let alone say goodbye. But Will’s career was finally taking off here; that meant his place was in California, and hers was not. She just had to accept it. For now, though, she was going to stall by scrolling through her pics from her last two weeks in LA.
The time in LA had gone by so quickly she needed the many photographs she’d taken to remember everything that had happened. First there were the ones from Venice Beach: Will and Lee playing Frisbee; EJ in her white one-piece with a beach ball, looking for all the world like a progressive tampon ad from the ’70s. “Where did we get a beach ball?” she wondered aloud.
There was one of her, Lee, and Lily with their giant yellow name tags at a taping of The Price Is Right. Then there was a selfie of Will and her at Disneyland. Their mouse ears overlapped as they squeezed together to fit in the frame. EJ scrolled a bit more, stopping to admire a photo she’d taken with her good camera. It was Will, standing center stage on the set of his new show, literally basking in the spotlight. EJ thought she’d grayscale that one and have it printed and framed for his birthday.
Her favorite pictures (besides the ones of her and Will in the Pacific, or on set, or seeing The Magic Flute at the Hollywood Bowl) were the ones of them relaxing around Will’s bungalow. Like the one of EJ and Lily on twin inflatable unicorns in the pool. Or the one of Will sitting on the front porch with a mug of coffee and a newspaper, looking like someone’s dad. Or the one when he surprised her with a kiss on the cheek and she almost dropped that big bowl of popcorn. “So much happened in such a short time,” EJ said aloud.
Though not enough to make up for losing him, she thought mutinously. She closed her laptop with a snap. Clearly stalling was doing her more harm than good. “Okay,” she said to herself. “We are getting my junk in a suitcase right now.”
The Bennet Women Page 28
