His lips pucker as he releases a low whistle while continuing to openly scrutinise me. His blatant curiosity leaves me wriggling with self-consciousness, dissolving the bracelet’s hold over me and with it allowing the lights to retreat.
“You certainly are different, My Lady.” He arches a thick, dark eyebrow and I can almost see his mind mulling over the pieces of this impossible puzzle that I’ve become.
I fold my arms across my chest, holding my expression stoic while trying to give the impression that I couldn’t care less about his opinion of me.
“Who are you?” I repeat, bitterness creating a sharp edge to my words.
He leans forward, crossing one arm behind his back and the other across his stomach as he bows in my direction.
“I am Kozhan, My Lady.” He straightens, his face becoming a mask of seriousness which only puts me further on edge. “It has become my undertaking to train you to the best of my abilities and I thank you for this opportunity.”
My mouth falls open as his words sink in and I take a step forward, my guard instantly coming down.
“Wait, you’re Zaneth’s son?” I don’t know what I had been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this well-built, darkly handsome guy in front of me.
He frowns, for the first time showing a twinge of uncertainty.
“I was under the impression that Father had informed you of my involvement with your training?”
“Well yeah, he gave me a two second heads-up, but still I wasn’t expecting….” I motioned to all of him, not really knowing what I had actually been expecting, just that it wasn’t someone so good looking and close to my own age.
“What exactly?” His eyes narrow, anticipating an insult.
“Well for starters, you don’t look anything like Zaneth, he’s bald and you,” I stare at his silky black hair which reaches halfway down his back and I get a sudden spike of envy. “You have better hair than I do.”
Kozhan stands there calmly waiting for me to continue, when I don’t he breaks his silence, his voice strong and authoritative.
“Father is in fact not bald. He shaves his head, as do many of our warriors. It’s a tradition used for battle, to ensure no vulnerability.”
I purse my lips, staring at the door, willing Zaneth to come back and ease this situation. When the door remains motionless I turn back to Kozhan, feeling slightly ridiculous for my overreaction, but still unwilling to show it.
“Well he could have introduced us – I mean, what’s with the whole ‘shadow lurking’ thing you had going on, that’s slightly creepy.”
“The best time to assess a student is while they are unaware that they are being watched. It’s when you are at your most natural, no pretences, no anxieties, just you and your emotions flowing.”
Every rational answer he gives makes me feel even more overdramatic, a childish girl having a tantrum and I have to swallow my pride before I can continue.
“You should know that sneaking up on me isn’t in your best interests. I don’t exactly have full control of my actions.”
He nods, his eyes lighting up as he takes in my thawing attitude. “I’m aware of the situation, to some extent. Although with your permission, My Lady, I would be very interested in learning more about your peculiar condition.”
“Look if we are going to be working together, then you need to cut out the ‘My Lady’ crap. My name is Rayna, I won’t answer to anything else.”
“Father mentioned something to that effect, but also reminded me that protocols are necessary with royalty.”
Damn Zaneth and his protocols, though I’m sure he’s just pushing this because he knows it will annoy the hell out of me.
“Isn’t it wonderful that I am not royalty then? I’m purely a guest in the castle. Your etiquette is not required around me.” I match his formal tone, purely to annoy him, but it has little effect. If anything it’s as if my words are a magical spell allowing Kozhan to relax; the tension drains from his shoulders and a mischievous smile spreads across his face.
“Ah, now this must be the Rayna that Calasis has told me so much about.”
“You spend time with Calasis?” I can’t hide the surprise from my voice. In all my time here I haven’t once seen Kozhan in the castle before.
He shrugs as he speaks, as if his declaration is no big deal.
“Prytora is a small planet and I am only a year older than Calasis. With Father being such a permanent fixture here in the castle, I have spent most of my childhood growing up with both Calasis and Blay.”
At the mention of Blay’s name I wince, my insides shrivelling up with guilt and I look away, trying to clear the images springing to life in my mind. Kozhan catches my sudden change in demeanour and hurries to change the subject.
“So, you need intensive training, from me no less. Are you sure you’re ready for that?”
If I’m ever going to save Blay from Garvien’s wrath and somehow salvage my own life in the process, then I have no other choice. Plus really the distraction would be nice.
As a show of my commitment, I tie back my hair and raise my hands palms up, motioning with my fingers to come forward.
“Bring it on.”
Chapter Nine
How many times now have I lay here, staring up at the slated wooden ceiling, lungs burning from oxygen being jolted out of them with heavy force after I’ve once again been tossed around like a rag doll, only to be dumped onto the ground in another spectacular example of my failure?
It doesn’t seem to matter how fast I move, or how sneaky my tactic is, Kozhan is always faster, always expecting the unexpected. It’s like taking on a mutant G. I. Joe, without the benefits of drooling over a man in uniform.
“Lying around isn’t going to teach you anything,” he scolds like I’m sneaking in a relaxing rest instead of desperately trying to regain my breath.
I raise one shaking arm, letting my middle finger stand tall, doing the talking for me.
“I don’t know what that means.” He crosses his arms, making his bulging muscles even more prominent.
“That just makes it funnier,” I wheeze.
Reluctantly I roll to my side and push myself up, resting my arms on my raised knees as my head swims. Every inch of me hurts, every forming bruise clearly shows that I haven’t backed down or tried to find an easy way out of Kozhan’s continual efforts to get me battle ready. He is relentless and I’m actually starting to miss Zaneth’s training methods.
“Can we take a break for a while?” I’ve asked plenty of times before and usually he refuses without hesitation, except this time is different, it’s as if he can see I’ve crossed some imaginary exhausted barrier and he knows I’ll crack soon if he doesn’t let up.
“You can take ten.” He walks over to where we’ve left our drink bottles and towel, picking them all up and returns to sit next to me as he passes them over. “But then we’re back into it.”
“Yes sir.”
The water is lukewarm but it slides down my parched throat all the same. It only takes a couple of big gulps and then I’m sucking air. I eye his still half full bottle, preferring to devour his drink than having to get up and walk all the way to the kitchen to refill my bottle. I’ve taken laziness to a whole new level.
“So, what’s it like?” he asks casually and my body seizes, waiting for the usual onslaught of questions regarding my time on Zantron.
“What’s what like?” I retort dryly, trying to prolong the inevitable.
“Earth, I’ve never been there, although I want to. I want to visit all the planets, travel the galaxies as far as they reach.”
My shoulders unclench and I reach for the towel, wiping it across my face, using the time to hide my relief.
“Earth? You want to know about Earth?”
“Does that surprise you?” he frowns, genuinely interested.
I toss the damp towel back onto the mat, sighing heavily as I meet his questioning stare.
“Well, yeah, I guess
.”
He leans back resting on his arms and waits for me to continue.
“Most people want to know about Zantron, and what I went through there.” I can’t meet his eyes, knowing full well that they will be filled with pity just like everyone else who has heard my story and I don’t want that, I don’t deserve anyone’s pity.
“Not me, I’ve been to Zantron in battle. I know full well what happens there and I don’t need any more details. I can imagine pretty much everything that happened,” he pauses, his lips pulling together in a tight line as he watches me tense as memories flood my mind.
“No, I’d rather hear about your home world. What it’s like, what the people are like, how does Earth’s beauty compare to Prytora’s?”
Tension washes out of my body and I relax, a smile pulling at my lips when I think of home.
“Earth is beautiful. Some places are unlike anything you’ve ever seen. Places like Switzerland, Alaska and New Zealand have the most amazingly beautiful scenery.”
I breathe in deeply as if I can somehow summon my homes unique scent, and I get a pang of sadness deep inside my soul, missing the very place I don’t know if I’ll ever see again.
“The oceans are huge, stretching further than the eye can see and it’s full of creatures that are both beautiful and terrifying all at once. There are over seven and a half billion people all living on the one planet, and they are all different, so many different cultures around the world and there is always something to learn, something deep and spiritual.”
Kozhan’s ice blue eyes grow wide as he hangs on my every word, sucking it all up like my words are the key to unlocking his dreams. I want to tell him all about how wonderful Earth is, how it’s a loving, special world full of wonder and happiness, but I don’t. I can’t pretend that my world is perfect, not after experiencing Prytora and the selfless way that these people live.
“Earth is beautiful and the people are beautiful too, but my home planet has its own monsters too. Except those monsters look just like us. We don’t have the advantage of seeing a hideous creature and knowing that they will cause us harm, not like the Zantronians. The monsters of Earth can be anyone, anywhere.”
I know I’ve dimmed the adventurous light hiding inside of Kozhan’s soul when he starts to frown, my words giving more truth than he was expecting.
“Earth isn’t like Prytora where everyone is equal and appreciated. There have been many wars, people killing other people in the name of greed. Money, power, land, it doesn’t matter, if someone wants something bad enough, it can cause wars, and Earth has had many of those. Earth is beautiful Kozhan, I love it there more than I can ever express to you, but it’s certainly not without its faults and in all truthfulness, the faults are its very people’s doing.”
I don’t realise that I’m crying. The silent tears trickling down my cheeks, dripping onto my well-rounded chest, are not from pain or misery. These tears fall because I’ve finally realised how much has been wasted in my world’s efforts to gain more.
Kozhan leans forward, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me to his solid chest. I don’t pull away, putting distance between us like I know I should. His arms are strong and his body is warm and that’s what I need right now. The strength of someone who doesn’t want to push for answers that I don’t want to give. Someone who has a light inside of themselves, who has hopes and dreams when I have none.
The tears run dry very quickly, my ten minutes of rest time ran out long ago, yet Kozhan still holds me against him, in no hurry to let me go and I don’t make any attempts to move.
It’s nice, being with someone who doesn’t want anything from me, just happy to sit and feed off of each other’s energy and needing nothing more than that. His easy-going presence stills the whirling uncertainty that hovers over me like an unrelenting black cloud. The stillness is clarifying and I don’t want it to end.
When he goes to move, my heart speeds up, not wanting to leave this tranquillity before I’m ready to face reality once again.
“You said you’ve spent most of your life growing up here at the castle, what was that like?”
Kozhan rests back once again, his arm pulling me slightly closer and my eyes stutter closed, relishing the safety that a good friend provides, even though I’ve only known him for a short time.
“It was great, still is. I got to train with the princes and see my dad more than most warrior’s children get to.” I appreciate how he strategically avoids saying Blay’s name.
“Being in the castle means there’s always an adventure, some battle or meeting going on and I got to be a part of it all. My father always let me tag along to combat training. He thought that being around it all from a young age would teach me more, rather than waiting for the traditional age of thirteen before joining the warriors, and he was right, I’ve picked up a lot more simply from watching him over the years. It’s been good. A blessed life really.”
The warmth in his voice clearly shows his appreciation of his world and I’m glad he got so lucky getting Zaneth as his dad.
“What about your mum? If you are at the castle so much don’t you miss her?”
Kozhan goes still, his hand gripping me tighter and I realise that I’ve hit a sore spot. Grudgingly I pull out of his embrace, his arm falling back to his side as my eyes scour his face, trying to figure out what has made him suddenly lose the spark of happiness that surrounded him.
His lips twitch and I know before he even says it, what the sadness hiding deep inside his eyes represents, because it hides inside of myself too, a shared wound that is impossible to heal from.
“My mother died many years ago, when I was just a small boy,” he speaks softly, each word painful to speak aloud. “She was making trades with another planet when her group was ambushed. It happened quickly, her death, I mean. She was one of the lucky ones who died during the attack and not made to suffer back on Zantron.”
I reach out, slipping my hand into his, squeezing gently in a gesture of comfort and support, not really knowing what else to do, how to ease his pain.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper and to my surprise he looks at me, a soft smile chasing away the hurt which churns inside of him.
“I’m not. My mother was brave and fierce. She killed three fighters all on her own before she succumbed to their claws. Her memory lives within me, and her desires for my future are now my dreams to make come true. I live to honour her and my own sacrifices will avenge her. And with my help, you will avenge her too, you’ll avenge all of the lost.”
***
“Calasis, come on, stop keeping me in the dark and tell me what’s going on.”
He looks up over a pile of papers that he seems to think holds more importance than me.
“Rayna, we’ve gone over this already, when you need to know something then, and only then, will I tell you.”
“Who are you trying to fool?” I snort. “You’re in here planning an attack that I suggested and you’re trying to keep me out of the loop.”
Calasis’s eyes pinch tightly closed and he kneads his fingers against his forehead. Standing over him, I can’t help but notice how different he has become.
All signs of that rebellious, charismatic guy have been chased away by the demons we are all fighting, being replaced with responsibilities that hold life and death outcomes. No longer has he got Blay to hide behind, making all of the tough decisions and doing what’s right. Now he must step up, be the son that Karadese and Araton need him to be to help end this fight, and I can see that it’s crushing him.
“Calasis.” I sit down opposite him, leaning across the table to hold his hands in mine. “Let me help you. Please don’t shut me out.”
He sighs, squeezing my hands gently before letting go and leaning back against the chair. He bites his bottom lip, his mind going around in circles as he tries to decide what to do.
“The Elders have agreed to your suggested plan. Our warriors will ambush the Zantronians on their p
lanet and while they distract their fighters we will send a small group in, undetected, to hide out and then we will begin our search to find Blay.”
“Okay, so what’s the problem then?” I don’t understand why Calasis appears so frustrated, shouldn’t he be happy that we are going ahead with something that might potentially work?
“It’s not enough, Rayna.” He bangs his fist against the desk making me jump. “We need more warriors to help this fight. The Zantronians are powerful creatures, and the way they kill our people off, it’s too hard and takes too long to replenish our warriors. Our numbers are dwindling, soon we won’t even have enough men to guard the border. We are sacrificing more lives for a plan which we don’t even know will work. And then what, Rayna, tell me what happens when we find Blay? How exactly are we supposed to get out alive? How are any of us supposed to survive this?”
I get it then, understanding raining down on me like hail in a storm. He is scared. Not just for Blay or his people. No, he is afraid that he too will perish in this fight, and I honestly can’t blame him. I know exactly how he feels, the trembling fear which consumes you when you want nothing more than to stay alive.
I vow right then, a pledge to any God that will listen. I will not allow another Lonix member to be hurt in this fight. I will not stand by while they suffer for my actions. This war may have started years before my time, but there’s no denying my part in this mess. I will fight until my blood runs dry, no matter what it takes.
Chapter Ten
Kozhan’s fist glides purposefully straight towards my unprotected face. I act automatically, bringing my guard up, my shoulders hunched forward while my legs are spread apart, remaining rooted to the spot. I shield his blow, ignoring the dull pain radiating up the length of my arm for the hundredth time today, and counter attack with a punch of my own. Only I lack the strength to do any real damage as my knuckles barely brush his smooth jaw before he grabs my arm, twisting my body around in one clean swoop and dropping me to the ground.
Fallen Paladin (The Paladin's Curse Book 2) Page 7
