by Marie Force
She shook her head and pushed him away. “No.”
His Abby, the woman he loved more than he’d ever loved anyone in his life, never said no to him. And she never pushed him away. Placing his hands on her shoulders so she couldn’t turn away, he said, “Baby, listen to me. We’re going to deal with this together. We’ll get the information we need. We’ll find the best doctors in the country, and we’ll fight it together.”
She shook her head. “No, we won’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“I won’t subject you to this. You want children, not a barren wife who’ll have male-pattern baldness and hair in places it doesn’t belong, not to mention cancer and other hideous things.” She shook her head adamantly. “This is not your problem.”
Adam stared at her as if she were someone he’d never met before. This Abby was someone he didn’t recognize. “You’re not thinking clearly today—”
“I’m thinking very clearly, and you’re young enough to find someone else—”
He put his hand over her mouth to stop her from saying something that couldn’t be unsaid—or unheard. “Stop. Just stop that right now. There is no one else in this world for me. Only you. And you can push me away and reject me and tell me you don’t love me anymore, but I’m not going anywhere.”
Tears poured down her cheeks as she shook her head. “You don’t know what you’re signing on for.”
“I already signed the papers.” He reached for her left hand and touched the engagement ring he’d put there months ago.
“We’re not married yet. Nothing says we have to go through with it.”
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that. I’m going to pretend you’re not trying to push me away because something has happened that we didn’t see coming. I’m going to pretend you’d let me get away with this shit if the shoe were on the other foot. If I pretend all that, I won’t be tempted to remind you that you love me and you made a commitment to me and you owe me better than this, regardless of what any doctors might have to say.”
Tears streamed down her face. “It’s not fair to you, Adam.”
“Neither is you reneging on promises you made to me.”
“I’d never renege on those promises under normal circumstances, but this is too much to ask of anyone, especially someone like you, who could have any woman—”
He’d heard more than enough, so he stifled her protests the only way he could think of, by yanking her into his embrace and kissing her until he was all but certain she had forgotten that she’d been trying to push him away. Moving slowly and carefully, he backed her out of the bathroom and eased her onto the bed, coming down on top of her without breaking the kiss.
When her arms encircled his neck, the tension that had gathered in Adam’s chest began to ease ever so slightly. “I love you,” he whispered gruffly when they finally came up for air many minutes later. “I love you and only you. I love you in good times, bad times, healthy times, sick times and every other minute in between. My love is not conditional on you being perfect. It’s not conditional on you being able to bear children. It’s not conditional on anything other than you loving me back, and until about five minutes ago, I thought you loved me as much as I love you.”
“I do, but—”
He kissed her again. “No buts, no conditions, no nothing but you and me staring this thing down together, no matter what might happen. And P.S., the doctors didn’t say having babies was hopeless. They said it would take some doing. So we’ll do what we’ve got to do, no matter what it is, and we will get through this and every other goddamned thing that comes our way, because I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. I’m sorry to say you’re stuck with me.”
“What if I go bald and grow a beard?”
“Then I’ll kiss your sweet bald head and teach you how to shave.”
“Adam…I’m serious.”
“So am I. Do you think I care if something you can’t help happens to you? Do you think I’ll love you only when you’re young and beautiful?”
“I could get really heavy.” She’d put on a few pounds in the last year that he knew she was stressed about.
“That’s just more of you to love.”
“You say that now…”
“I say that forever. In fact, we’re getting married New Year’s Eve.” He decided that as he said the words. “No more delays, no more waffling, no more of anything other than you and me married. You’ve got your dress, and everyone will be home for the holidays. It’s on.”
“Adam, you’re just saying that—”
“Because I want to be married to you more than I want anything in this world.”
“You’re awfully rude this morning.”
“Likewise, my love. It’s awfully rude of you to think I’m going to run for the hills at the first sign of trouble.”
“This isn’t just trouble. It’s a life sentence.”
“If that’s how you’d like to view our marriage…”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
“I do know, and a far worse life sentence for me would be life without you. So don’t condemn me to that by thinking I can’t handle what’s ahead, no matter what it may be. I can handle it as long as I have you and we have each other. Everything else is secondary to that.”
She released a deep, shuddering breath marked by the hitches that came from hours of crying. “You’re sure about this?”
He kissed her again. “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life. Ever. Remember that first week we spent together?”
“As if I could ever forget it.” She traced the outline of the Gansett Island tattoo on his bicep.
“And when we were apart, when I was back in New York for those interminable weeks…I thought I’d die from missing you. I couldn’t wait to get everything wrapped up there so I could come home to you. I still feel that way, every day when I go to work on someone’s malfunctioning computer. Every minute I’m away from you, I’m counting down until I can get home to you. There is nothing, and I do mean nothing, that could make me not want to go home to you, Abs. Not even something I can hardly pronounce.”
“Polycystic ovary syndrome.”
“Not even that.” He kissed her again, lingering when she responded enthusiastically, the way she usually did. That gave him hope that he could eventually disabuse her of the idea that he couldn’t handle this. “So New Year’s Eve… It’s on, yes? I’ll take care of everything. All you’ll have to do is show up looking gorgeous as usual.”
“Okay.”
If her one-word response lacked enthusiasm, well, he had eleven days to work on that before they exchanged vows. He was determined to be everything she needed and to stand by her no matter what might come their way.
In Nashville, Tennessee, Evan McCarthy woke to the supreme pleasure of his fiancée, Grace, in his arms after she’d surprised him on the final night of his three-week tour with superstar Buddy Longstreet. Evan’s single, “My Amazing Grace,” written to honor the love of his life, was charting in the top three on all the industry lists, which was a surprise to no one but him, apparently.
Buddy said he’d known the song would be a smash hit the first time he heard it, and last night, after their show, Buddy had taken him aside with yet another plea to continue pursuing music. “You’d be a fool to go back to your studio on the island when you have a song in the top three, Evan,” Buddy had said in his typically blunt way. “This is your moment. Carpe diem.”
Buddy’s words had upended his plans to rush home to Grace and Island Breeze Records the minute the last show ended. And then Grace had further upended his plans, in the best possible way, by being naked in his bed when he returned to the hotel. Best. Surprise. Ever. He’d missed her so much, even though he’d talked to her several times a day, FaceTimed with her every night and engaged in an unseemly amount of phone sex.
There was nothing, absolutely nothing, like the real thing when it came to his amazing
Grace. He was a little ashamed of how rough he’d been with her last night after missing her so desperately while he was away. But she’d been right there with him, encouraging him to take anything and everything he needed from her.
He ran his hand over the soft skin on her back, touching her because he could. If you’d told him a couple of years ago that he’d be so in love with one woman that he’d turn his back on stardom, he might’ve suggested you have your head examined. But now that he had her, everything else had taken a backseat to their life together. And it would continue to, he decided right in that moment.
Even Buddy’s promises of stardom like he’d once dreamed of weren’t enough to lure him away from Grace or the home they’d made together on the island. It wasn’t enough to turn his back on a year of hard work building the studio or getting it up and running. The weeks on stage had reminded him of a time in his life when everything was an epic struggle.
Having Grace back in his arms was a reminder that life with her was as easy as breathing. No comparison, no debate, no decision. She was what he wanted. He wanted her more than he wanted bright lights and big cities. He wanted her more than he wanted fame or fortune or anything that didn’t include being with her every day.
As he had that thought, one of her big brown eyes popped open. When she saw him there, her smile lit up her face. “Favorite face to wake up to.”
He loved the sleepy, sexy sound of her voice in the morning. He loved being the first person she spoke to every day. He loved being the last one she touched each night. Tracing the outline of her precious face, he said, “Me, too. Best face in the whole wide world.”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t be happy to see me here.”
“What? Why would you think that for one second?”
“Because this is your world, not mine. I felt like I might be intruding.”
“Grace… My world is you and me together in our little place on the island. This,” he said, gesturing to the fancy suite Buddy had arranged for him, “is not my world.”
“It could be,” she said tentatively. “People are talking. You’ve got a huge hit with the song, and I read online that you’re the next big thing. The Grand Ole Opry even wants you!”
“So what?”
Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head. “So what? Are you insane? This is what you’ve worked for your whole life! And you don’t care?”
“I don’t care.”
“It’s the Grand. Ole. Opry. Evan.”
“The Opry ain’t got nothing on you, babe.”
“What does that mean?”
How to explain what he didn’t understand himself? “I love the music. You know I do. It’s in my DNA, the same way my family is. It’s who I am.”
“It’s what you need to be happy.”
He shook his head. “Not anymore, Gracie. You’re what I need to be happy, and I can’t bear to be away from you for weeks at a time. These last few weeks were excruciating.”
“They were for me, too, but we got through it, didn’t we?”
“This time. If I stay on this path, I’ll be gone more than I’ll be home. That’s not how I want to live. I don’t want to live without you by my side every day, with weeks at a time apart. I can’t handle it.”
“I’ve been thinking.” She pursed her lips the way she did when she had something on her mind. It was one of many adorable things he loved about her.
“What’ve you been thinking about?”
“I could sell the pharmacy.”
He was shaking his head from the word sell. “No way. That’s your dream, and it matters every bit as much as my dreams do.”
“Hear me out before you say no.”
Only because she had something she needed to get off her chest did he sigh and relax into the pillows, prepared to listen and then say no again.
“It’s the only pharmacy on the island, which makes it extremely valuable. Someone will buy it. We’d make money on the sale, even after I pay off what I still owe the Golds.”
“And what will you do with yourself while I’m on the road?”
“I’ll be with you. That’s more important to me than anything else, even the pharmacy.”
He reached up to caress her sweet face, staring at her because he could, because he’d missed her so damned much while he’d been away from her.
“Evan. You’re staring. Say something.”
“I love you so much. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine anything like this for myself, and I’ve had some pretty wild dreams.”
Her face softened into a smile that made her eyes sparkle. “I feel the exact same way about you. I don’t want to spend weeks away from you, but I also don’t want you to wake up someday and wish you’d taken the next step to find out what happened after you finally had a hit record. We’re young, unencumbered—except for the pharmacy—and free to do whatever we want for a few years until we have kids that we’ll want to raise at home with our family. I could even hire a pharmacist to run the place for me for a few years, and you could pay Josh to run the studio. We’d have jobs to come home to when we’re ready.”
“You’re serious about this.”
“I’m so serious. You can’t not do this, Ev. You have to go for it. Our song is on the charts. Don’t you want to know what happens next?”
“Sort of.” He’d never admit how often he’d had that very thought, but knowing it wasn’t an option for them, he hadn’t allowed it to flourish. Until now.
“Will you think about it?”
“Yeah, I will, since you make it all sound so easy.”
“I don’t think it’ll be easy, but it is doable. I spent a lot of time thinking about it while you were gone, and at some point, it occurred to me that we’re both self-employed. There’s no reason we can’t make some changes that’ll allow us to take this ride together rather than apart. I don’t want to be apart from you.”
“I don’t want that either. It’s hell.”
“If I’m with you, then you can relax and enjoy it and come home to me every night rather than an empty hotel room.”
“I’m very, very tempted, my amazing Grace.”
“Let’s do it, Evan. Let’s just do it.”
He shifted so he was on top of her and gathered her into his arms as he entered her slowly and carefully, knowing she had to be sore after the voracious night they’d spent together. But no matter when he reached for her, she was ready for him, which was another thing he adored about her.
Sighing with pleasure, she raised her hips in encouragement. “You took me quite literally.”
Chuckling, he kissed her neck and nibbled at her skin. “Oh, so you didn’t mean this when you said we should do it?”
Smiling up at him, Grace wrapped her arms around him as he lost himself in her. She’d given him a lot to think about, but right now, all he could think about was her and how amazing it felt to make love to her.
Chapter 4
After a leisurely breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon and toast, Linda saw to the dishes while Mac went outside to shovel snow off the deck. She rinsed soapy water off her hands, revealing the dazzling new ring from her husband. He was still bowling her over, like he had from the beginning when he’d swept her off her feet with his certainty that they belonged together. It had taken her a little longer to catch up with him, but once she had, she’d never looked back.
She kept an eye on the weather and the whitecaps in the Salt Pond, hoping against hope that Evan, Grace, Adam and Abby would make it back to the island in time for the party she and Mac weren’t supposed to know about tonight. If the ferries were even still running, the kids faced a rough ride home, not that high seas fazed her island-born sons. The girls might not like it, though.
Thinking of rough seas had her remembering her first trip to Gansett Island, which still ranked as one of the worst ferry rides she’d ever endured. Poor Mac had been convinced that she’d never speak to him again after she’d gotten sick on the boat.
She poured a second cup of coffee and took it with her to sit in the rocking chair that overlooked the deck so she could watch Mac shovel. Even after all these years, she never got tired of looking at him. And she remembered that first trip to Gansett as if it were yesterday.
Murmuring sweet words of comfort, he’d held the hair back from her face while she retched over the side. “We’re almost there. I can see the bluffs now.”
They’d taken a midafternoon boat, and he’d been riding high since closing on the marina earlier in the day, proclaiming himself the “poorest future rich man” she’d ever meet.
After meeting him the day before and being steamrolled by his persuasive charm, she’d expected him to be less appealing today. But he’d been so excited about the marina he now owned and so thrilled to take her to the island that his appeal from yesterday was eclipsed by the excitement of today.
She felt like she was raining on his parade by getting sick, but he was endlessly patient with her.
“Happens to a lot of people the first few times they make the trip,” he said.
“If you say so,” she muttered.
“A few more minutes, and we’ll be good to go.”
“And then we have to get home.”
“One thing at a time.”
She kept meaning to tell him he shouldn’t be holding her so close or stroking her back and hair so tenderly one day after they met, but she couldn’t seem to muster the wherewithal to protest, not when he smelled fantastic and made her feel so safe despite the heaving seas.
“This is all my fault. I wanted you to see the island so badly that I never gave a thought to what the seas would be like today.”
“It doesn’t bother you?”
“Nah,” he said with a chuckle. “I kinda like it.”
“Figures.” Despite how miserable she felt, she didn’t want to be a downer on his big day, so she tried to rally, standing upright only to have her head spin.
