For an old woman, You Yu was spry. She swept along the narrow dirt road they were following, barely batting an eye at the flat, verdant fields that hemmed them in on either side. Arms pumping, her strides were long and purposeful, and it was Susanna, with Lian’s short, chubby legs, who was left breathless and struggling to keep up.
“What’s the rush?” she panted, almost jogging beside the older lady.
You Yu tipped her head Susanna’s way and smiled, but she didn’t let up her ruthless pace.
“I haven’t felt this good in a long, long time,” she said. “No aches, no pains. It feels amazing, I feel… alive.” She barked out a laugh. “Isn’t that ironic!”
Susanna shook her head in wonder. She couldn’t ever remember a soul taking to the journey with such vigour, such enthusiasm. She’d known exactly who Susanna was, despite her exact resemblance to You Yu’s granddaughter; she’d come without any complaints or protestations; she’d taken to the idea that her body and all its limitations had been left behind, and was barrelling along like a sixteen-year-old. Not to mention – and this was the kicker – the sun was shining down on them from an unrelenting blue sky. It was almost as if You Yu was happy to be dead!
“There’s a hut not far ahead,” Susanna told her, “We’ll stop there for the night.”
“Oh, we shouldn’t bother with that,” You Yu waved the idea away. “Let’s sleep under the stars.”
Susanna shook her head. “No,” she said. “You don’t want to do that.”
“Yes, I do.”
There seemed no point hiding the truth, not from You Yu.
“No, really. There are… things that come out in the darkness. They’re evil, and if they take you, they’ll tear your soul apart, force you down into the ground and feast on you until you become like them.”
You Yu’s stride faltered for a heartbeat, but then she gathered herself and began soldiering on.
“I see,” she conceded, “But it seems silly to stop so soon. The sun’s still right overhead.”
“It can get dark very quickly,” Susanne countered. “But there isn’t another safe place within reach today. We’ll have to bunk down at the hut.”
They marched along in silence for a little longer, then You Yu sighed. “All right.”
For the first time, Susanna was grateful to arrive early at a safe house and have a little rest. Ordinarily, she liked to get there as close to dark as possible so that the soul would be tired, lulled to sleepiness by the encroaching night, and less keen to interact. But her legs were aching, her heart was pounding and she was drenched in sweat. When the little wooden hut came into sight, she could have wept with relief.
It had earthen walls packed into a slightly higgledy-piggledy wooden frame, with a thick and moulding thatch roof. There was only a small window at the front and a single, low door. The whole thing had a weather-beaten look to it and the facilities inside were basic as usual, but it would keep the wraiths outside, and that was all that mattered.
“This is nice.” You Yu smiled as she walked in the door. “My grandfather had a little place just like this. He used it for fishing and hunting, and getting away from his wife.” She hiccupped a laugh. “At the time, I hated it. There was no hot water and only one small bed, just like this,” she patted the bamboo-framed single bed, “so I’d have to make do with a pallet on the floor. I couldn’t understand why he liked it.” Hands on her hips, she surveyed the small room, taking in the sink with its pump-action faucet, the rugged fire pit and handmade table and chairs. “I do now.”
It was still light outside, but Susanna busied herself with the fire. The air inside was chill and slightly damp, and Susanna wanted to get it going before the shadows started to gather. While she worked, You Yu took one of the stools and sat it in the doorway, watching the sun dip down towards the horizon.
“Do you hear that?” she asked suddenly, and Susanna paused, tilting her head to listen. At first all was quiet, but then she caught it. The high-pitched, eerie keening that always sent chills down her spine.
“I hear it,” she said.
“There are no wolves in this countryside.”
“No,” Susanna agreed. “There aren’t.”
“It’s those creatures you spoke of?”
“Wraiths.” Susanna nodded. “Yes, it’s them. Don’t step beyond the doorway.”
As she’d predicted, the sun had dropped with unnatural quickness and dusk was bleeding into twilight.
“I don’t think I believed you,” You Yu mused. “Well, no, I did believe you, I just didn’t understand.” A pause, then a cheerier tone. “I know you said I don’t need it, but it feels strange not to be preparing for supper. I’m not hungry, I just feel like I should be doing something.”
“That takes a while to go away,” Susanna said. “So I’m told.”
Confident the fire wouldn’t burn itself out, she flopped down on the narrow bed and moaned. Her muscles hurt. Her bones hurt. Even her hair hurt.
“Are you all right?” You Yu was watching her with amusement.
“Sorry.” She sat up but couldn’t hold in her groan.
“Aren’t you used to this?” She was mocking her, and with good reason – Susanna had been out-walked by an old woman.
“I am,” Susanna admitted, “But I’m not usually…”
“Not usually carrying an extra forty pounds around, you mean?” You Yu raised her eyebrows, but then waved Susanna’s sheepish expression away. “I told her! I told her she was too heavy. My granddaughter is too fond of sweets!” A snort, then she gazed at Susanna, a look on her face that was both sad and wistful. She seemed to snap to just a moment later however. “You are stuck in this form while you’re with me?”
“Well, not stuck. But it’s—”
“Change it.” You Yu cut right over her explanation. “I know why you do it, but like I told you before, I know you are not my Lian. It’s nice to see her pretty face one last time, but it’s you I see staring out through her eyes. Change it. What do you look like?”
The thought of ditching Lian’s too short, too unwieldy form was too much to resist. Between one moment and the next, Susanna let herself take on the appearance she thought of as her true self. The one she chose on those rare occasions she had the freedom to choose. She stretched and slimmed, her hair slid up towards her jaw and darkened. The cheekbones of her face became more angular and her chin sharper.
“Much better,” You Yu complimented. “Now your personality matches your face, if you know what I mean.”
Susanna didn’t exactly, but she felt instantly more comfortable, though her muscles still ached.
“Come sit with me.” You Yu motioned to the other stool and Susanna hoisted it over to sit next to the old woman in the doorway. The world beyond was a writhing mass of darkness, the wraiths quietly swooping and diving.
“You are very accepting of all of this,” Susanna said, after a long, peaceful moment.
You Yu shifted her weight on her stool, shrugged shoulders softened by the thick fleece that now protected her from the cold night temperature. “Well, there is no point protesting or complaining, is there? It won’t change what has happened. Besides,” a pause, “I’m not sure that I would change it even if I could.”
“You wouldn’t?” That surprised Susanna.
“I was old,” You Yu reminded her. “My body had shut down, some days I couldn’t even get out of bed. And I was lonely.” This last word was said on a gusty sigh.
“You had your granddaughter,” Susanna said gently.
“I did,” You Yu nodded slowly. “But like I said, Lian didn’t like to see me like this, you see? It made her sad.”
“You didn’t have anyone else?”
“I had my Hui,” You Yu said. “I haven’t seen him for a long time, but I won’t have to wait much longer.”
Susanna knew what she meant – had heard many people say something similar. “When did he die?” You Yu’s flinch made Susanna wince. She hadn’t mea
nt to blurt it out insensitively.
“Eleven years ago,” You Yu said softly. “That’s how long he’s waited for me.”
“How do you know you’ll see him again?”
You Yu turned, and the light from the fire lit up the frown on her face. “You truly don’t know where you’re taking me?”
Susanna chewed on her lip, then shook her head.
You Yu gave a half-shrug. “It doesn’t matter. I believe he will be waiting for me, just as I would wait for him. However long it took.”
I hope you’re right. The words floated in Susanna’s head, but she didn’t give voice to them. She didn’t want to cast any doubts over You Yu’s beliefs, because she wanted them to come true.
“You don’t have someone?” You Yu asked. “Someone who would wait for you, however long?”
No, she didn’t. Ferrymen don’t get that. Not like You Yu meant. She’d felt something, though. Companionship, connection. A sense of not being quite so alone. Now he was gone…
“I don’t have anyone.”
You Yu patted Susanna’s knee in a grandmotherly gesture. Such affection was almost totally alien to Susanna. It made tears sting her eyes as she stared out into the twilight. It was a calm, peaceful scene, but it was still a lie. All Susanna had to do was close her eyes briefly, adjust her perception, and when she opened them again, the true wasteland lay before her.
Even in the growing dark it was easy to make out the myriad shades of red that swept across the landscape. The molten black serpent that imitated a pleasant stream in You Yu’s countryside. The souls, transparent and flickering, nearby and – the only redeeming feature of this view of the wasteland for Susanna – all the other ferrymen. They were stars, always twinkling in the mire. She could look at them and pretend she wasn’t alone.
But she felt it.
To her left, another safe house sat quiet and quiescent. No ghostly soul, no glowing ferryman guide. Tristan’s safe house. His route through the wasteland closely matched Susanna’s, their safe houses nestling side by side almost the entire way. Many nights she’d sat just like this, staring out of a window or through an open doorway, and seen him doing the same. They hadn’t communicated, hadn’t called out to each other – that wasn’t allowed – but they’d been there. Their eyes had shared more than they could have said aloud.
That connection was gone now. All she could do was sit and stare at the spot where he’d been. Wonder what he was doing now. Did he ever spare a thought for her? Still here, still trapped.
Unable to bear the sudden feeling of aloneness, of abandonment, Susanna imagined Tristan sitting right there, where he always had been. She moulded his features, drawing them exactly from memory: his brooding, penetrating gaze so easy to recall. Would he smile, maybe, if he saw her again? Would his eyes light up, giving Susanna a glimpse of the sparkle that she hadn’t seen for so long?
It didn’t matter, because he wasn’t coming back. With a blink, Susanna erased the ghost-like image she’d created.
She was truly alone now. And it was heartbreaking.
TEN
“Well, this is it.” Susanna stood at the line with You Yu and found that she was the one who was stalling.
They’d crossed the wasteland with next-to-no difficulties, only flirting with danger in the valley where the shadows had narrowed the path to a thinner ribbon than Susanna had ever seen it. They’d have been fine, but the sheer walls and majestic shape of the mountain crags had captivated You Yu and she’d dawdled, forgetting how the sun could plummet in the wasteland.
Even then, the wraiths hadn’t gotten close enough to mar the soft, lined skin that wreathed You Yu’s smiling face.
Instead of running and fighting, they’d spent their evenings watching the stars – because there were no dark, brooding clouds in You Yu’s wasteland. Susanna could almost believe this place was the real world, looking at where they stood now, neatly tilled green farmers’ fields stretching flat as far as the eye could see. And peonies. In You Yu’s wasteland there were peonies.
And now it was over. You Yu would be going on, and Susanna would begin all over again. How long would it be before she found another soul so contented, so wise as You Yu? The thought was a depressing one.
“You’re not even remotely tempted to try and go back?”
“What, after we’ve walked all that way?” You Yu laughed, then her expression became serious and she shook her head. “No. Not for all the world would I make my Hui wait for me any longer.”
That was what Susanna thought, but she had to check. She’d come up with a new theory during the long nights that she and You Yu had spent in the quiet dark of the huts.
Susanna had a sneaky feeling that she knew how Tristan had gone back into the world. That the soul he was guiding had found her way back through, taking Tristan on her coattails.
So maybe Susanna could do that too… only she’d need a soul who wanted to go back. You Yu would have been perfect – wise, kind and trusting. But she was right, she’d little to go back to – her body an aging husk betraying her sharp mind – and everything to look forward to.
A husband. A love that had made her willing to face the uncertainty and dangers of the wasteland with no fear. Susanna couldn’t ask her to abandon that. She wouldn’t.
“I’m sorry I won’t get to meet your Hui,” she told the old woman. “He must be quite a man to have earned the love of a person like you.”
You Yu smiled, then she reached out and embraced Susanna, holding her tightly as if she would miss her. It made tears spring to her eyes again.
“Bless you for taking care of me on this journey,” the old woman said, then she turned and walked straight over the line. No hesitation, no looking back.
Susanna waited – for what she wasn’t sure, but she couldn’t quite make herself leave. Before long, however, the urge, the command to turn around and collect the next soul became too strong to ignore. Wiping away a solitary tear, Susanna gazed once more at You Yu’s beautiful peonies, then turned away and let the tranquil vista pale around her.
The world that rebuilt itself in its stead was a very different place. Tall blocks of flats, ugly and worn down. The road was hemmed in by cars, most of which were in a poor state of repair. There was litter, graffiti… Susanna knew nobody could hear her, see her or touch her but the soul she’d come to collect, but still, she felt unnerved.
Her body, too, underwent a transformation, although that one was much more subtle. Her skin remained unmarked by age, her hair still dark, though straighter, with a thick fringe draping down to her eyebrows. She slimmed, but not by much, and she doubted there was an inch difference in her height. That pleased her – her face might be different, but she felt like her still.
The soul she’d come to collect lay in an alleyway. He’d died in a pool of his own blood, courtesy of a knife to the gut, and was currently curled up in the foetal position, unconscious. He was tall, but skinny. Like he’d shot up and hadn’t had a chance to fill out yet. He wouldn’t now. The dark denim jeans and black t-shirt he wore hid the blood that had saturated the fabric, but his fingers were stained with the viscous liquid, near black against the pale white of his skin. His hair was dark, flopping over his forehead. Beneath it, his eyes were closed, his expression peaceful. He had a young face, Susanna thought, gazing down at him. Unlined, unmarked, cheeks still with a hint of baby fat.
She crouched down beside him, awkward in the heels she was now wearing. Tentatively she reached out – long, glossy red nails? Really? – and grasped his shoulder. She shook gently and the soul, Jack, groaned. Groggily, he fluttered his eyelids then sank back down into oblivion. Pursing her lips, Susanna rattled him harder.
“What?” he batted at her hand, though his coordination was off. Susanna kept shaking. “Get off me!”
Irritated into opening his eyes fully this time, Jack peered around at the gloomy alleyway. He was having trouble focussing on her.
“Jac—” She didn’t even get hi
s full name out before he was in motion, exploding upwards and throwing her against the brick wall. Before she could catch her breath, he had an arm across her throat, cutting off her airway.
“Who are you?” he snarled. “What the hell’s going on?”
He might have a young face, Susanna thought, but those eyes were old. No sixteen-year-old should have eyes like that.
“Jack!” Susanna managed to squeeze the word past her constricted vocal cords.
Instantly the pressure eased and Susanna gulped in a lungful of air.
“Sammy?”
Sammy was his ex-girlfriend. The most positive influence in his life so far, from what Susanna could gather. Sammy wasn’t in the picture any more, but she lingered in Jack’s heart, along with a heavy dose of wistful longing that might’ve made Susanna feel guilty. Once.
“It’s me.” Not a lie, not really. Susanna didn’t like to lie to the souls. It made it that much harder for them to listen to her later, to trust her. And that’s when the wraiths got them.
“Man.” He rubbed at his face and took in his surroundings. “I feel like I’ve had a right doing. What happened? What are you doing here? Where are we?”
“An alleyway,” Susanna offered, choosing the easiest question to answer.
Jack snorted. “You don’t say. Come on.”
He grabbed her hand and hauled her out into the street, then jerked to a stop when he saw where he was. Remembered why he was there.
He’d been running away. Susanna saw Jack’s final memories – the confrontation with his stepfather, his mum crying in the background, her eye already puffy and swelling; storming out of the council flat. Travelling as far as he could on a bus, meeting a group of boys he didn’t know, who didn’t know him and didn’t like him in their ‘patch’. A fight, a flick knife. A moment’s pain and then… panic. Footsteps pounding away from him. He’d dropped to the ground in the alley, and that was where he’d died. Susanna saw it all, saw the senseless waste of it. A life less than half-lived.
Jack scowled at the darkened street, empty now except for a solitary car. He fidgeted, shifting his feet, clearly thinking hard. What to do, where to go?
Trespassers Page 7
