by Aly Martinez
My brows furrowed. “You go for a run every morning?”
“Yep.”
“Really?”
He flexed his abs under my hand. “I’ll say it again: Your surprise is not doing good things to my ego.”
“No,” I defended, pushing up onto an elbow. “You definitely look like a man who works out. It’s just I didn’t realize you ran every day.”
He smiled. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Cora. Which is exactly why we’re laying in bed, playing Truth or Lie. You’ll learn.” His arm tensed around me, and his lids fell shut even as he aimed them up at the ceiling. After sucking in a deep and content breath, he finished with, “We’ll both learn.”
Like so often with Penn, I fell asleep that night with a smile on my face.
After a slow and toe-curling kiss, he left bright and early the following morning to go for his run.
And because I figured Penn running meant he’d be hot, sweaty, and possibly shirtless, I got up bright and early too and drank my coffee at the railing overlooking the parking lot.
I was right on all accounts.
When he came jogging back up, he was hot.
So sweaty.
Very, very shirtless.
And as he stared up at me, his chest heaving, his hands on his hips, his abs giving the most incredible cameo with his every breath, and a humor-filled grin stretched across his handsome face, I decided that it was my newest routine.
Cora
“Pivot!” River yelled as Drew and Penn carried my brand-spanking-new mattress up the last flight of stairs.
“Oh my God, stop.”
She giggled. “You have to understand that, when you force a person to watch all ten seasons of Friends, at some point, there will be consequences.” She shot me a huge grin. Then she cupped her hands around her mouth and repeated, “Pivot!”
Laughing, I gently slapped her arm. “Stop. He bought me a bed. Don’t make him regret it.”
Savannah gave me a nudge from my other side. “The man bought you a bed that he gets you naked in before he sleeps in it with you every night. I don’t think he’s going to be regretting anything for quite a while.” She winked.
My mouth slacked open. “I will have you know that the only thing Penn does in my bed is sleep, thank you very much.”
“Ah, he can’t get it up. Don’t take it too hard. He’s old—”
“He can get it up!” I exclaimed entirely too loudly, just as Penn appeared with one end of the queen-sized pillowtop mattress.
“I can get what up?” he grunted as he backed past us.
Drew appeared a few steps later, holding the other end and flashing me a knowing smile.
I rolled my eyes and then shot Savannah a death glare that only made her giggle. In a sugary-sweet—and hopefully distracting—tone, I replied, “The bed. That’s all. Nothing more.” I shuffled to the side, bumping Savannah out of the way so the guys could get through the doorway to my apartment.
River let out one last, “Pivot!” as they made their way inside.
When they disappeared toward my bedroom, I hissed at Savannah, “Would you hush? First of all, it’s none of your business what Penn and I do or do not do in my bedroom. Secondly, he’s not old.”
“So you’re telling me you’ve been together for over a month and you haven’t put out yet?”
Uncomfortably, I looked at River, who was suddenly—and thankfully—enthralled with her shoes.
“Again. None of your business.” I lowered my voice and hissed, “But no. I have not put out yet.” I kept the not for a lack of trying to myself.
Her eyes flashed wide, and then all at once, her face paled. “Holy shit. You’re seriously not fucking him?”
My back shot straight. The crap Savannah said never surprised me anymore. She had no filter whatsoever. But it was the pure terror contorting her face that made my heart stop.
Eying her curiously, I replied, “No. I’m not.”
Diving forward, she grabbed both of my shoulders and gave me a hard shake. “Why not!”
“Hey!” River yelled, attempting to wade into the middle of whatever the hell was going on.
“What is wrong with you?” I snapped.
Savannah’s crazed, green eyes bored into me, suffocating panic rolling off her. “You have to have sex with him! He’ll either leave, find it somewhere else, or he’ll take it. Men don’t wait!” She gave me a hard shove, sending me stumbling back. “If you want to keep him, you need to stop with the games and give him what he wants.”
My stomach sank as bile crawled up my throat. “That’s not the way relationships work, honey. Penn would never—”
“Yes, he would!” Her voice cracked, and her hands trembled as she tried to shove me again.
I caught her wrists before she had the chance. “Stop it,” I seethed.
She only got more worked up. Tears spilled from her eyes as her face turned bright red. “He’s a man! He will, Cora. And then he will leave. So, please, I’m begging you. Just give him what he wants. We can’t afford to lose him.”
I stopped dead in my tracks. “What do you mean we can’t lose him?”
It was River who answered. “She means Marcos and Dante haven’t been back since Penn and Drew got here. Not even after Angela. They’ve never been gone this long, especially not after something like that.”
This was something I knew and had been doing my best not to harp on. Having Penn as a distraction had made it easier.
What was not easier was knowing that the girls had taken over my position as Head Worrier.
I cringed when realization dawned on me. They liked Penn. He was nice to them; Drew was too. The Walker brothers paid the girls a few dollars here and there to help clean up after jobs or fold their laundry. Penn had even sat Savannah down once after dinner at my place and helped her with homework. I was a fool for not seeing it coming. River and Savannah had finally met a decent man, and now, they were terrified of losing him.
I attempted a deep inhale, but I found no air. Not with the staggering weight of the lessons those girls had already learned in their short lives blanketing the room.
The men in River’s life were sociopaths, criminals of the worst kind.
And Savannah, underneath her clothes, still wore burns and scars from her father.
They both hid the aftermath of their abuse well for the most part. But shit like that didn’t fade into the background in a matter of weeks or years. For most women—myself included—it became the focus of every single decision they made for the rest of their lives.
The past wasn’t always the past. Sometimes, it was nothing more than a distorted spotlight illuminating your every step, no matter how beautiful that path in the present might be.
It was a light that couldn’t be broken.
Or outrun.
Not even when it burned out.
Sometimes, the only thing that could shade the pain was learning that bigger and brighter lights existed.
Ones that shined the truth, warmed your freezing skin, and healed your tattered heart.
It didn’t have to be a man. It could have been anyone.
A friend. A family member. A stranger.
Or even a woman just as trapped as you.
Releasing her wrists, I gave her a sharp tug and pulled her into a hug. She struggled against me, but there was no fight in it, and seconds later, silent sobs racked her body as I wrapped her up tight.
“You don’t have to sleep with someone to make them stay in your life, Savannah.”
“You won’t know until it’s too late,” she croaked, burying her face in my neck, her thick, red ponytail tickling my nose.
Motion at the mouth of the hall caught my attention. I glanced up and found Drew standing there, leaning against the wall as if he’d been there for a while, his fists clenched so tight that his knuckles were white. He was staring at Savannah’s back, but I didn’t have time to focus on him before I felt Penn’s heat behind me.
<
br /> Annnnnd they’d been listening. Fantastic.
Penn was careful not to touch me or break my hold on Savannah.
But he was very much there, sandwiching me between the broken girl in my arms and the man she desperately wanted to save us.
His voice was like a rock, steady and firm, as he leaned over my opposite shoulder and aimed his words at her. “Seven hundred years, Savannah.”
Her body locked up tight, but Penn kept talking.
“That is how long a man who cares about a woman would wait to sleep with her. They don’t leave. They don’t lose interest. And they sure as fuck don’t take something that doesn’t belong to them. A man doesn’t take. A man doesn’t manipulate you for your body. A man doesn’t give the first fuck if your hair and makeup are done. He doesn’t even care if you force him to watch stupid-ass musicals with your girls. A real man would wait those seven hundred years, his belt cinched tight, because every single second he gets to spend with his woman is a reward of its own.”
My breath caught and my insides melted as I peeked over my shoulder at him.
“Don’t talk to me like I don’t know how men work,” she sniped. “You want one thing. And if she’s not giving it to you, you’ll find someone who will.”
“Honey, stop,” I pleaded. “This is stuff between me and Penn. It’s doesn’t affect you.”
“That’s a lie,” River chimed in, stabbing a finger in my direction. “Admit it. Everything you do affects us. Right down to who you are or aren’t sleeping with. How the hell do you think this is going to end? The Guerreros buying you and Penn a wedding present? Offering to hold the ceremony here at the building? Dante is never going to let you go. And you are lying to yourself if you think he is.”
The pain amplified as the fragments of my heart shattered into a million pieces. “So I should roll over and let him win?”
“Hell no!” she yelled. “You get some freaking help. What we want to know is: Is Penn that help?” Her eyes filled with tears. “Truth. I also felt better about your relationship when I thought you were sleeping with him. Because he always came back. But, now, I’m wondering if he’s only coming back because he enjoys the chase. What happens when he stops? And, worse, what happens when he leaves? Word will get around. Even if it’s just a snitch at the grocery store. Where is Penn going to be when they do show up? Because we all know where you’ll be.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Penn jerk, and then his back straightened, making him seem taller. She wasn’t wrong. I’d been living in a dreamland if I thought I wouldn’t pay in one way or another for being happy. But I got to experience that so rarely that it felt worth the gamble.
Now though? After seeing the girls like this? I wasn’t so sure anymore.
“River,” I breathed, holding my arm out so she could join Savannah in my embrace.
She backed away. “No. I don’t need a hug, Cora. I—we—need answers. And we need you to be honest.” She paused and sucked in a deep breath. “Truth or lie.”
I reached up and caught my star necklace, nervously sliding it back and forth over the chain. I had no idea what she was about to ask, but I couldn’t promise that I’d tell her the truth. “Okay. Go ahead.”
She shook her head. “Not you. Him.”
I looked back and found Penn staring at her.
His tongue snaked out to dampen his lips as he cocked his head to the side. “Shoot, kid.”
“Are you going to take care of her? And I mean, really take care of her. More than cupcakes and stupid dinners.” She took a step toward him. “I’m talking putting your entire family’s life on the line against the Guerreros if and when it comes down to it?”
Every head in the room turned to Penn as he silently stood there. Uncomfortably, but still confident, he looked at the floor, shifting his weight from side to side for an agonizing amount of time that probably calculated closer to seconds than the hours it felt like.
Penn and I were just starting something. And that was a big commitment they were asking for. And, unfortunately for my heart, hearing the answer was an even bigger commitment, because there was no going back from it. I wasn’t ready to lose him, thus losing a piece of myself, but if his answer was anything other than a conclusive, unquestionable yes, that was exactly what I’d have to do.
“You don’t have to answer that,” I whispered.
“Yes. He does,” Savannah said, stepping out of my arms.
I held my breath until my lungs burned. Penn had told me that he’d be there for me in the little deal we’d made, but this seemed like something bigger—something real.
When he finally looked up, his face was granite, but his eyes were blazing like a fire was brewing in his soul. “I don’t have any family left. I have nothing left to lose. Nothing they can take away from me.”
Yeah. That sucked.
Momentarily.
He folded his hand around mine, adding, “Except for Cora.”
An explosion of emotion happened behind my lids. I couldn’t blink them fast enough to keep the moisture at bay.
After bringing my hand to his mouth for a quick kiss, he gave River back his focus. “And, by extension, that means you and Savannah too. So yeah, River. I’m gonna do whatever the hell it takes to keep Cora safe. And that is one hundred percent the truth.”
Savannah’s chin quivered, but she squared her shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. “Even if that means getting her out of here and taking her away from us?”
My eyes flared as guilt iced my veins. “No,” I swore, taking a giant step forward.
Cool and calm, Penn used our entwined hands to pull me back to his side. “You think she’d leave you behind?” This was asked in that hey, that sounds like a good idea way rather than the rhetorical you cannot be serious way.
“Penn,” I scolded.
They were suffering and he was toying with them? I attempted to snatch my hand from his, but he only held it tighter.
“Answer,” he pressed.
They looked at each other, silently communicating, tears falling from their eyes.
River finally offered me a sad smile. “No. She wouldn’t leave us.”
Love detonated inside me—until it was Savannah’s turn.
Her thin body trembled as she avoided my gaze and admitted, “I don’t know.”
“Savannah,” I breathed, her confession slashing through me, cutting me to the bone.
“Then you need to open your eyes, kid,” Penn said roughly. “Yeah, Cora and I have something going. It’s good. Every day that passes, it grows stronger and deeper. But I would never try to take her away from you. Because, God’s honest truth, she wouldn’t come.”
Savannah’s head popped up, disbelief etched in her features.
“Yeah. You heard me. This woman would willingly throw me and everything we have together in front of a bus for so much as asking her to leave you two. We’ve been spending a lot of time together, but quite honestly, it’s embarrassing how much she’s filled my ears with you girls.”
My heart stopped as I witnessed the most beautiful relief wash over both of my girls. Head to toe, they sagged. But Penn wasn’t done yet.
“Savannah, your favorite color is purple and not because you like it, but because it makes your eyes pop. Also, could you please teach Cora to do her eyebrows like yours? Swear to God, every night, she gives me a ten-minute dissertation about how she can never get hers to look like yours. You’d be saving my eardrums a lot of trouble if you could take care of that.”
My mouth fell open as I craned my head back to look up at him.
“And, River,” he continued. “Not even kidding, if you could cool it with all the A’s, I’d be much obliged. And stop growing while you’re at it. I think you’ve gotten two inches taller since I’ve been here. Cora’s not ready to look up to you, yeah?”
Savannah’s whole face lit up like he’d presented her with the highest acclaim.
River shyly looked down at her shoes,
a giant smile stretching from ear to ear.
And with my heart pounding, yet simultaneously struggling to beat, I stared at him in absolute awe.
I’d never once talked about Savannah’s eyebrows. Honestly, I’d wished she’d tone them down. And she did wear purple a lot––Penn must have noticed. And River, yes, she made A’s; she was smart as a whip. And it wasn’t going to be long until she was towering over me, but I couldn’t remember ever voicing this to Penn.
I loved my girls. I’d claw my way out of a grave before I ever left them behind.
But every word out of Penn’s mouth had been a bald-faced lie.
And the gratitude I felt inside made my knees weak. Penn had used things he knew or had observed to make them feel loved in ways simple words never could have properly conveyed.
I’d always hated lies. I’d spent most of my life having them fed to me. As far as I was concerned, they only lulled a person into a state of false security.
But right then, I’d never been so grateful for anything in my life.
My damn eyes started to water again as Penn revealed just how bright his light truly was. He’d been protecting us from day one.
Pulling the shower curtain.
Cleaning Angela’s apartment.
Sitting outside my door.
And he’d been waiting. Maybe not seven hundred years. But he’d been there every night, talking and spending time getting to know me with little to no expectations.
And he understood that I’d never turn my back on River and Savannah. So much so that he’d lied to them to make sure they knew it, too.
No matter how much I tried to forget about it, I still had that distorted spotlight of my own. And for the first time since Nic died, I felt a cool shadow on my face as Penn blocked it out.
I blinked. Like, a lot. Penn had already declared that he was taking care of me. But this was different.
This was a promise.
A vow.
An undeniable truth.
And, worst of all, it gave me hope.
Nothing in the world had ever disappointed me, broken me, or destroyed me quite like hope.
