by Aly Martinez
I swallowed hard. Hope spiraled like a vortex inside me, and I was so desperate that I was willing to cling to anything—even a tornado. “Catalina,” I whispered.
“Bingo,” he replied with a smile.
That hope lasted exactly one second.
“You think they caught her?” I intertwined my fingers, resting them locked on the top of my head, and started pacing again. No air found my lungs, but with every step, my panic grew. “They must have followed her.” Every muscle in my body flexed painfully as that god-awful scene played out in my subconscious.
Same hotel room.
Same blood.
Cora’s body.
“Fuck!” I boomed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
It was my every nightmare come true.
I’d watched Lisa die. Castrated to help her.
And there we were again. Full circle. Only, now, it was the one woman I wasn’t sure I could survive losing.
Not like that.
One day, she’d be gone, living her life, smiling and laughing. Free of the clouds of hell that had been following her for the majority of her life. That I could survive.
But this?
My stomach rolled. “Oh God.”
Finally, he answered.
With the sound of a car pulling into the parking lot.
My head snapped up at the same time my body shot forward. Drew wisely stepped out of my way as I reached him. Then I snatched the door open and flew down the steps as fast as my legs could carry me.
“Hey!” she chirped, looping her broken purse over her arm, a glowing, white smile on her face.
I marched toward her, my heavy strides devouring the distance between us as my gaze raked over her from head to toe and back again.
Her eyes were free of tears.
Breath filled her lungs.
Not a droplet of blood tainted her blue tank.
She was alive.
She was okay.
She was…
“Where the fuck have you been!”
Cora
I froze, the smile on my face falling as his crazed eyes continued to race over me.
“Excuse me?” I snapped.
He stopped in front of me, anchored his hands to his hips, and bit out, “You’ll be back in a few? A few?” He laughed with negative amounts of humor. “Three fucking hours is not a few!”
“Okay?” I drawled, glancing up and finding Drew standing on the third-floor balcony. Even at that distance, the relief painting his features was staggering.
When I shifted my gaze back to Penn, I got my first real look at him. His eyebrow was split and swollen, and smears of blood disappeared into the hair above his temple.
My.
Heart.
Stopped.
“What happened to your face?” I rushed out. “Oh God, where are the girls?” I started to race past him, but he caught my arm, pulling me up short.
“Asleep,” he clipped, but his face was so filled with anger that it offered me no comfort.
“Then what’s wrong?”
His hand got tight on my arm, and then every hair on the back of my neck stood on end as he dragged me closer. His upper body loomed over me as he leaned forward, bringing his face to mine, where he seethed, “Where the fuck did you go for three goddamn hours without even taking your phone?”
I blinked. I didn’t recognize the man holding me so harshly. He was an utter stranger.
His jaw was tight, ticking at the hinges.
The veins in his neck bulged as if they were trying to escape his body.
And his eyes—they were not those of the man who held me every night as I fell asleep. They were wide, furious, and downright malevolent.
My mouth dried, a seed of fear settling in the pit of my stomach. But before I allowed it to grow, I made one last-ditch effort to see if my Penn was still in there.
I stared up at him, refusing to show him any weakness, and demanded, “Let me go.”
His eyes darkened, but his hand fell away in the next beat.
I blew out a ragged breath and slapped a hand over my heart, which was attempting to break free of my ribs. “What the hell is going on with you right now? Who’d you get into a fight with?”
“Drew,” he replied.
I slanted my head in confusion. “Any particular reason?”
“How about we worry less about my fucking cut and more about the fact that you left.”
“Yeah. And I sent you a text.”
“No. You sent me a text saying you’d be back in a few. And then you were gone for three fucking hours. I’ve been losing my goddamn mind thinking something had happened to you.”
While I hated that he’d been so obviously fretting, it made me all warm inside to know he was worried about me.
Placing my hand on his bicep, I gave him a reassuring squeeze. “Penn, baby, everything’s fine. I had to run an errand.”
His brow furrowed and his chest heaved. “For three hours?”
“Yeah. Three hours. And, now, I’m tired. So can we go upstairs and talk about this in bed? We’ll just flip the mattress onto the floor and you can put it together tomorrow night.” I released him and started toward the stairs.
The crunch of his boots on the gravel followed behind me.
“Where’d you go?” he asked roughly.
I rolled my eyes and kept going. “To run an errand. I already said that.”
“What errand?” he demanded when we hit the second floor.
With twisted lips, I slowly turned to look at him over my shoulder. “It’s none of your business. I had something to do. I did it. I’m home. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“It matters to me!” he yelled—without actually raising his voice at all.
There was no way I could tell him about Catalina needing money. But I wasn’t real excited to lie to him, either. And if I said the word lie before giving him whatever reason I hadn’t come up with yet, I didn’t think it would placate him much.
I started toward the third floor. “Are you going to yell at me all night? Because, if so, I’m gonna take a pass on hanging out.”
“I swear to God, Cora. I will only ask you this one more time. Where the fuck did you go?”
Like nails on a chalkboard, it made my skin crawl. He sounded like every man I’d ever had in my life. And not in a good way.
“None of your business,” I shot back.
To his credit, he didn’t touch me again.
To my credit, my head didn’t explode as he followed me up so closely that his boot shared the same step with my flip-flop half the time.
Drew was gone when we hit the third floor.
And so was my patience.
I refused to respond anymore as I shoved the key into the doorknob, unlocking it before repeating the process on the deadbolt and swinging it open. I might have been angry, but I liked his face, so rather than slamming the door shut behind me and risking any further injury, I left it open.
“Where did you go!”
I walked to my bedroom, rubbing my temples. I did not have the energy to deal with anything else. “Penn, please. Be quiet. The girls are asleep. And I’m tired. And it’s freaking late.”
“You’re seriously not going to answer me after that bullshit tonight? For fuck’s sake, Cora, I deserve a goddamn answer.”
“No,” I snapped, dropping my purse on the floor and turning to face him. “I’m not—” I stopped midsentence, unable to continue.
He wasn’t mad.
He wasn’t being a dick.
He wasn’t like any man I’d ever had in my life.
Because, with one look at him, I realized he was flat-out terrified.
“Penn,” I breathed, my heart jumping into my throat.
His chest rose and fell with great effort. He leaned into the forearm he had propped against the doorjamb as if it were the only thing holding him up and his eyes morphed into dark puddles of grief.
“Shit. Okay. Okay. It’s not a big deal
. I went to drop off some money for one of the girls.” I hurried over to him and placed my hand on his stomach.
He shook his head, his face the perfect picture of desolation.
“Hey,” I whispered. Lifting his free hand, I kissed the back of it. “I’m fine. We’re both fine. Come on. Let’s sit down.”
He took me literally, sinking to the floor only inches inside the doorway, his legs bent with both feet planted on the wood and his head hung low.
I slid down to join him, settling at his side but facing him. I hooked my arm around his leg and leaned against it. “What’s going on?”
He closed his eyes and scrubbed his jaw as though he could rub away whatever cloud had invaded his head. “I was so fucking scared.”
I inched closer. “Baby, I’m right here.”
“No, Cora. I thought you were gone. I didn’t know where you were and I had no way to get in touch with you. No way to know if you were safe. No way to know if you were alive or…” He shook his head, unwilling to finish. “All I could see each time I blinked was losing you the same way I did…her. Only, this time, I wouldn’t even know I was losing you until it was too late. I couldn’t go through that again. Not with you. Never with you. You’re supposed to win. You’re supposed to be happy. You’re supposed to get out. You’re supposed to live.”
Hindsight: That should have been the exact moment suspicion slithered over me. But he was rambling in the middle of an emotional breakdown. A lot of what he was saying didn’t make sense. But it was all sweet, and it was coming from somewhere deep inside his closet of fears.
“I know, baby.”
“You can’t end up like her, Cora. And, tonight, knowing you were out there, with no way for me to reach you… No way to protect you.” He stared off into the distance, sucking in through his teeth like he was breathing through the pain of a knife gliding across his skin.
It was pain I felt for him as guilt exploded inside me. He hadn’t known where Lisa was the night she’d died. He blamed himself specifically for that.
And there I was, giving him attitude for asking about where I’d been—for caring about where I’d been.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He grabbed the back of my head, pulling me toward him before tucking my face against the curve of his neck. “I can’t lose you, Cora. Not like that. I can’t. I just can’t.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I swore while peppering apology-filled kisses up his neck. I leaned my torso in front of him until he lowered his legs to allow me the space to climb into his lap. “I promise I’m not going anywhere.”
“You don’t know that. You have to be more careful,” he rumbled, turning away so I couldn’t see him, but the devastation couldn’t be hidden.
I kissed across his cheek—the stubble tickling my lips—over his nose, and up and down every inch of his face I could reach, murmuring, “I do know it, Penn. Because I’ll be with you. You’ll make me safe. I believe you.”
His head cranked to the side like I’d slapped him, and he groaned, “I gotta get you out of here. Fuck. I gotta get you out of here.”
I didn’t have the chance to ask what he meant before he rose to his knees with me securely held to his chest and laid me down on the wood floor, his body coming down on top of me.
My legs fell open—an offer he did not refuse. His hips wedged between my thighs as his mouth sealed over mine in the most desperate of kisses I’d ever received.
It was slow and searing.
Sad, but loving.
Brutal, but honest.
It was all the points of light that made up Penn Walker.
“I’m done with the games,” he murmured, supporting his weight on one hand beside my head, his other frantically shoving my shirt up. “I can’t lose you, Cora. I can’t.”
I sat up only far enough to finish the job of removing my shirt while promising, “You won’t.”
“I will. But I swear on my life I’ll make sure you win.” His tone was so jagged that I could barely understand him, and less than a second later, I gave up trying. “I need to feel you, baby. Say you trust me.”
I gave it exactly zero consideration before I replied with, “I trust you.”
He stilled, hovering above me. His gaze traced over my face, searching for what I could only assume was hesitation. “Truth, Cora?”
“Truth. Please, Penn.”
And that was all it took.
With one foot, he kicked the door shut.
With one hand, he tore the cup of my bra down, exposing my breast before dipping low and sealing his hot mouth over my nipple.
Sparks detonated inside me, radiating all the way down to my clit and everywhere in between. His hand found its way to my other breast, where he plucked and kneaded in time with his tongue.
I arched off the floor, eager and wanton.
And Penn gave.
He licked and sucked, groans rumbling from his throat, teasing my skin and taking me even higher.
Panting, I threaded my fingers into the top of his hair and got lost in the sensation.
Every swipe of his tongue was followed by a nip.
Every nip was followed by a long, soothing lave of his tongue.
Every lave was followed by a roll of his hips, revealing his thickening cock.
And every roll stole gasps from both of our throats.
It had been too long, and I was climbing that peak of ecstasy fast, but this wasn’t going to be enough to carry me any further.
Sitting up, I tugged his shirt over his head and then followed it up by unhooking my bra and allowing it to slide down my arms.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he rumbled, his gaze anchored to my breasts like a teenage boy.
I almost laughed, but my cheeks heated under his praise. I’d never been particularly shy, but…
Penn was gorgeous. In so many ways. And not because he was all sleek power and defined muscles, though that didn’t hurt. Penn was gorgeous because he was all the things that hadn’t existed in my world for over a decade.
Frantic and fevered, I sat up, going straight for his jeans. He caught my hands as I fumbled with his button.
“I’m done with the games too,” I told him. Fire hit his eyes, causing a surge of heat to pool between my legs, but I held his feral gaze. “I trust you. I want you. I need you. Now, Penn.”
He moved fast, his mouth sealing over mine as he yanked my shorts down my thighs without even touching the zipper. Then he paused only to repeat the process with my panties.
I tugged on his jeans until he rose to his feet, his arm hooked around my back, taking me up with him. Then I dangled in his arms as he used one hand to send the mattress leaning against the wall crashing to the floor with a loud thump.
I giggled at his urgency. But Penn was all business.
I landed on the bed first, watching with rapt, mouthwatering attention as he stepped out of his jeans. He was long and thick.
But more, he was ready.
I squeaked as he dropped his knees to the mattress and folded over me with his hands on either side of my head, his body hovering over mine. He kissed me again, chastely at first, breathing me in with a reverence so genuine that it made my eyes sting.
I wanted to talk to him. To once again reassure him that I was okay.
But we’d done enough talking.
And as his mouth opened hastily, his tongue snaking out to tangle with mine, and his fingers slipping between my legs, it was clear he agreed.
My head flew back against the mattress, costing me the loss of his mouth, but I could focus on nothing but the glorious pressure building with only a single touch.
He latched on to my neck, rough and desperate, licking and sucking, driving me to the edge as his fingers played between my legs with the skill of a piano player, hitting every single note my body had to offer.
I moaned incoherently.
He swallowed them like they were his favorite meal.
I cried out, fight
ing the orgasm off, not ready to let go.
He found my clit, circling and rolling until it was impossible to hold out any longer.
“Oh God,” I breathed, the coils inside me tightening almost painfully before springing to life with pure euphoria. My breathing shuddered as he thrust two fingers inside me, stretching me and coaxing, adding another layer to my release until I wasn’t sure how long I’d been falling.
My head was spinning as my body pulsed and I rode out the final currents when I felt his mouth come down to my ear.
“This is the truth, Cora. This. Right here. You and me. This moment. This feeling. This is the truth.”
My eyes popped open, his turbulent gaze staring back at me. “Penn?” But that was all I got out before he guided his length inside me, filling me completely.
Penn made love to me that night.
Like, real, actual love.
But there was something sad about it.
He never stopped kissing me, but it wasn’t heated or frenzied.
His hands never stopped roaming and caressing my body, but it was like he was engraining my every curve into his memory.
He drove into me slow and sweet like he was savoring every stroke.
It was absolutely incredible—and a little heartbreaking.
I came twice more, his name tumbling from my lips each time.
By the time Penn came, we were both covered in sweat, our lips raw, my legs aching. But I was completely sated—inside and out.
He held me as we slept, just like he always did.
But it wasn’t the same.
Even if I couldn’t figure out why.
Cora
Me: Hypothetically speaking, if I were to make you a birthday dinner, what day of the year would I make that?
Penn: On my birthday.
Me: So, like, Tuesday?
Penn: My birthday isn’t Tuesday.
Me: So Wednesday?
Penn: Not then, either. Where ya going with this?
Me: Hopefully somewhere with streamers and party hats.
My phone started ringing in my hand. Penn’s number and a sneaky picture I’d snapped of him smiling while talking to his brother popped up on my cracked screen.
