by W. W. Jacobs
showing signs of incipient inflammation,looked for encouragement to Miss Garland.
"He's a man we all look up to and respect," he continued. "If he does gooff to London every now and then on business, that's his lookout. Myidea is he always ought to take Mrs. Culpepper with him.
"He'd have pleasure of her company and, same time, he'd be money in pocketby it. And why shouldn't she go to music-halls sometimes? Why shouldn'tshe--"
"You get off home," said the purple Mr. Culpepper, rising and hammeringthe table with his fist. "Get off home; and if you so much as show yourface inside this 'ouse again there'll be trouble. Go on. Out you go!"
"Home?" repeated Mr. Sharp, sitting down suddenly. "Won't go home tillmorning."
"Oh, we'll soon see about that," said Mr. Culpepper, taking him by theshoulders. "Come on, now."
Mr. Sharp subsided lumpishly into his chair, and Mr. Culpepper, despitehis utmost efforts, failed to move him. The two ladies exchanged aglance, and then, with their heads in the air, sailed out of the room,the younger pausing at the door to bestow a mirthful glance upon Mr.Sharp ere she disappeared.
"Come--out," said Mr. Culpepper, panting.
"You trying to tickle me?" inquired Mr. Sharp.
"You get off home," said the other. "You've been doing nothing but makemischief ever since you came in. What put such things into your sillyhead I don't know. I shall never hear the end of 'em as long as I live."
"Silly head?" repeated Mr. Sharp, with an alarming change of manner."Say it again."
Mr. Culpepper repeated it with gusto.
"Very good," said Mr. Sharp. He seized him suddenly and, pushing himbackwards into his easychair, stood over him with such hideouscontortions of visage that Mr. Culpepper was horrified. "Now you sitthere and keep quite still," he said, with smouldering ferocity. "Wheredid you put carving-knife? Eh? Where's carving-knife?"
"No, no, Bert," said Mr. Culpepper, clutching at his sleeve. "I--I wasonly joking. You--you ain't quite yourself, Bert."
"What?" demanded the other, rolling his eyes, and clenching his fists.
"I--I mean you've improved," said Mr. Culpepper, hurriedly. "Wonderful,you have."
Mr. Sharp's countenance cleared a little. "Let's make a night of it," hesaid. "Don't move, whatever you do."
He felt the large and clumsy hand of Mr. Butler take himby the collar]
He closed the door and, putting the wine and a couple of glasses on themantelpiece, took a chair by Mr. Culpepper and prepared to spend theevening. His instructions were too specific to be disregarded, and threetimes he placed his arm about the waist of the frenzied Mr. Culpepper andtook him for a lumbering dance up and down the room. In the intervalsbetween dances he regaled him with interminable extracts from speechesmade at the debating society and recitations learned at school.Suggestions relating to bed, thrown out by Mr. Culpepper from time totime, were repelled with scorn. And twice, in deference to Mr. Sharp'sdesires, he had to join in the chorus of a song.
Ten o'clock passed, and the hands of the clock crawled round to eleven.The hour struck, and, as though in answer, the door opened and theagreeable face of Florrie Garland appeared. Behind her, to the intensesurprise of both gentlemen, loomed the stalwart figure of Mr. JackButler.
"I thought he might be useful, uncle," said Miss Garland, coming into theroom. "Auntie wouldn't let me come down before."
Mr. Sharp rose in a dazed fashion and saw Mr. Culpepper grasp Mr. Butlerby the hand. More dazed still, he felt the large and clumsy hand of Mr.Butler take him by the collar and propel him with some violence along thesmall passage, while another hand, which he dimly recognized as belongingto Mr. Culpepper, was inserted in the small of his back. Then the frontdoor opened and he was thrust out into the night. The door closed, and alow feminine laugh sounded from a window above.
