“What were you expecting?”
“I don’t know.” I looked him up and down, then shook my head. “Something a little more…physical?”
“You were thinking I’m all brawn and no brain.” He clicked his tongue then pointed the fork at me. “I’m half brain, half brawn, I’ll have you know.”
I went red in the face, feeling a little foolish. “So are you working today?”
“Nice thing about being a consultant…I can pick and choose my own hours. I’ll put in a few later on.” He glanced at me, his gaze lingering on my hands.
I realized I was still fussing with the dress.
I wanted out of it. I hadn’t been wearing it all that long. It wasn’t even nine. I’d put it on around six, but the thought of sleeping in it, not showering…it was making me twitchy and that was a feeling I knew all too well.
The more I thought about it, the more desperately I needed that shower, but he was almost done making breakfast and I couldn’t just dive into the bathroom when he was being nice.
To distract myself, I moved over to the window and stared outside. “I don’t know what software consulting is exactly, but you must make a killing. You’ve got an incredible view here.” I lifted my hand and pressed it to the glass, sighing a little as I watched the waves crashing onto the sand. The leaden clouds, the rain pounding down outside made me feel as if we were alone in the world, just us in this little cottage. Oddly enough, if I had been in my house, I might have felt too isolated.
Here, with Jenks, it was perfect.
I wasn’t being kept away from the world, my freedom stolen from me, and I wasn’t here because I was too afraid to reach out.
I was in here because I wanted to be.
And he was with me because he wanted to be.
“You ready to eat?”
Startled, I looked up, saw his reflection in the glass, just behind me. “You’re quieter than a cat.”
“You’re just lost in your thoughts.” He brushed my hair aside and pressed his lips to my neck. “Hungry?”
I shivered at the feel of his lips on my skin.
“Yes.”
Chapter Ten
“Here you go.”
Dillian put a T-shirt and a pair of workout pants down on the long expanse of countertop by the sink, meeting my eyes in the mirror. “Anything else you need?”
My heart thudded in my throat.
I’d found a toothbrush still in the package in the closet and I’d swiped it, used it to brush my teeth.
I’d washed my face, combed my hair so I didn’t look like a complete zombie.
I hadn’t lied when I told him I was hungry.
But I was hungry for more than food. I was hungry for sensation, for touch, for words, for the feel of skin against mine, to feel a hard body moving on my own and to have a pair of eyes watching me as I stared up at a man who actually wanted to be with me.
Yes, I needed something.
And I thought maybe Jenks might be the one person who could give it to me. He was the only one I’d met in the past couple of years, that was certain. I’d noticed other men, but I’d never felt like this and despite the nerves shaking and quivering in my body, I was determined that I would at least try.
He’d said last night was a bad time.
It wasn’t last night now.
Licking my lips, I turned around and reached out, spread my hand out over his heart.
His gaze, heavy-lidded and hooded, came up to meet mine.
“I think I need you.”
The words came out steadier than I would have thought possible, although my voice was all but gone. My blood roared in my ears and my heart beat so hard I could barely breathe. But I said the words, and more, he heard them. His hand closed around my wrist, his thumb stroking over my pulse. Slowly, he guided my hand down, holding it at my side as he moved in until I was trapped between him and the counter, his body a hot brand against mine. “I thought we said this wasn’t a good time.” He spoke softly.
“We said last night wasn’t. Or rather you did. I agreed, then. Now I’m thinking it is.” Slowly, his fingers uncurled from my wrist and I surprised us both when I reached up and pressed my hand to the starburst tattoo on his chest. Under my hand, his heart slammed hard against my palm and my own echoed, a ragged, desperate beat that left me shaky and lightheaded.
He slid one hand up my arm. “You still want that shower?”
My head felt unbalanced as I nodded. “Maybe you could…”
“I wouldn’t mind seeing you all wet and naked, sugar.” He tugged on the tie until it came free, seeking out the hidden zipper at my side and giving it a tug. It took him less than two minutes to have me naked in front of him and then I stood there, trembling and nervous, while he cupped my waist in his hands and stared at me.
“Fuck…” he breathed out and then he went to his knees.
I blinked and then I cried out as he leaned in, caught one nipple in his mouth.
Sensation, a storm of it, slammed into me. His mouth, hot and wet, his arm around my waist, strong and solid, while his free hand gripped my hip as though he thought I might pull away. His teeth tugged lightly against my flesh, just enough that I felt the edge and it was almost more pleasure than I could stand. My knees tried to give out and he guided me back so that the sink supported me.
I started to push my hands into his hair, desperate for more, desperate for everything, but before I could, he caught my wrists and surged upward, burying his face against my neck. “Stop…gotta stop or I’ll be sinking my dick into you right here and we both should have more than that, but I’ll damn well make sure you have more,” he muttered.
“Jenks?”
“Shower.” He turned around and strode to the shower, tucked behind a simple frosted-glass wall and turned it on. As steam started to billow out, he came back to me and led me over to it. For a minute, I lingered, missing his warmth and the feel of his hands on me.
His gaze caught mine. Then he dipped his head and rubbed his lips against mine. The lightest of kisses. “I’ll be there in a second,” he promised.
So I went in. The hot water slid like silk over me and I closed my eyes, tried to calm my breathing, tried to calm myself. There wasn’t much of that happening and I braced one hand against the wall. Was I going to do this? Hell, yes. Could I actually get through it? That was the trickier question.
Water splashed behind me and that was all the warning I had before his arms came around me.
A gasp hitched in my throat as his body aligned with mine. All that glorious, golden skin, naked against mine. For a long, aching moment, I just let myself feel.
It’s possible to feel too much. Even if it felt good. Just like you could go too long feeling nothing…sensory deprivation is a painful thing and that was why I clung to every last bit of sensory pleasure I could get now. I wrapped myself in it, steeped myself in it.
But there wasn’t enough of this. The hard, solid strength of his arm around me, his muscled chest sliding against my back, the soft scrape of stubble against my neck as he brushed my wet hair out of the way and kissed my shoulder.
“You’re wet…naked. Just like a mermaid now,” he whispered. One hand smoothed down my thigh and I trembled as it stroked back upward, just a few scant inches from my core.
Steam wrapped around us as he reached over. From the corner of my eye, I saw the built-in dispenser and then I caught the subtle, sexy scent that seemed to cling to him. That soap, whatever it was, men of the world needed to invest it. It would all but seduce women from the scent alone. Moments later, he had the suds clinging to me as he washed me from head to toe, including my hair. “Close your eyes,” he said, nudging me under the dual shower heads.
I felt water pounding down on me from multiple angles and then he drew me back out. I watched as he washed himself and my breathing sped up. Maybe now. Would we go to bed now? Or would he—
My heart slammed so hard against my ribs, I wouldn’t be surprised if it wa
s bruised. He’d reached up, pulled one of the shower heads down. Now, as he crowded up against me, he leaned in. “Close your eyes.”
Breathing seemed almost impossible. “Why?”
“Because I’m going to make you feel,” he said.
He couldn’t have said anything that would have gotten me to listen any faster.
I couldn’t relax, though. Eyes closed, my breathing ragged, I stood there, rigid even when he nudged me back against the wall.
And then I felt the water. It was a pulsating rain against my thigh and I jolted in shock, my eyes flying open. He was watching me. “Let me, Shadow,” he said, his voice dark and raw. “You want to feel…I’ll make you feel.”
How could I say no to that?
His free hand caught one of my knees, guiding it up, exposing me and then he started to tease me, that jet of water going up, then down, each time coming closer and closer to the heart of me.
When he finally turned it to me, I almost collapsed at the sheer sensation. I was already wet, already aching. The blast of heat and pressure from the water was a thrill against my senses and it left me reeling, threatened to send me flying and I thought I might die from it. I reached out, grasping for him, my fingers sinking into the thick pad of muscles atop his shoulders.
“Just let go,” he murmured, his voice steady, gentle, almost soothing. Even as the water tormented and teased. “Feel it…let go.”
I sobbed, the strength draining out of me and then he shifted me around, sliding on down and I cried out as he traced my entrance. “Come for me now.”
I did. I couldn’t stop it and I didn’t want to.
My legs were almost too weak, but I managed to move out of the shower. Clutching the towel he’d wrapped around me, I looked around, dazed, trying to drag my thoughts back on track, but I didn’t even have a chance for that.
I saw him in the mirror and looked up.
Our gazes locked and then he moved, spinning me around and boosting me up onto the sink.
“Last chance,” he muttered against my mouth.
“For what?”
“To tell me to wait. That you need more time. I’ll back off if you need me to.” He gripped my head between his hands and the look in his eyes was one of torment. “Fuck, Shadow. Tell me you don’t need me to.”
“I don’t want you to,” I said and then I reached for him.
He hauled me against him and then we were moving.
The bed was a soft, welcome relief and I cried out as I felt him between my thighs, the folds of my sex slick and wet, the ache inside me spreading. He paused and shoved up, and I glared at him but all he did was scramble for something by the bed.
I heard something tear and then I saw the glint of foil.
Condoms. He had condoms.
He tore one open and I watched as he levered up onto his knees. My throat went dry as I watched him put on the condom. Something that might have been fear started to whisper inside me as I stared at him.
So clearly, I could remember the last time a man had touched me, been inside me—it had been nothing like this, but it didn’t matter. Those memories, once imprinted on the mind, the flesh, the heart, the soul, they never fully fade and now they came clawing to the surface.
A hand touched my face, fingers spread wide over my jaw, the tips spearing into my hair with his thumb pressed up under my jaw to angle my head back. “Stop,” Jenks ordered, his voice low and harsh, the intensity in it all but throbbing. “I see where your mind is going…don’t let him come here.”
Wrapping my hand around his wrist, I stared at him. “I don’t know if I can stop it. What if I freak out?”
“Then you do…and we try again.” He came down over me and the shock of his body against mine, the pleasure of it was one that left me all but ready to melt into him. “But don’t bring him here. He’s taken enough from you. Don’t give him this.”
Was it that simple?
I knew it wasn’t.
He probably did, too. But I could do everything in my power to shove Stefan out of my head. If I focused more on Jenks…I skimmed my hand along his arm, let my fingers play along the hard curve of muscle, felt them jump under my touch.
“I don’t want him here.” I stared into his eyes.
He pressed a kiss to my cheek, my nose, my mouth. “He isn’t here. It’s just us.”
His cock was a heavy brand against my belly, sheathed in the condom and slick with the lubricant. Closing my eyes, I gave a tiny shove against his chest and he went up, his weight balanced on his elbows. As he hovered against me, I continued to watch only his eyes, learning him with my hands. Everywhere I touched, he was hard muscle and smooth skin and heat.
I could feel the need pulsing inside him, but he didn’t rush me. The driving hunger that had pushed me up until just a few minutes ago was gone and caution led me now. I had to…I don’t know what I had to do. There was more than curiosity in this, more than caution. It was as though I needed to learn more about him and learning more about him taught me something about myself.
We ended up with him sprawled on his back and me kneeling beside him, my face almost painfully red as I stroked my hands across him. I’d touched almost every blessed inch of him, except where I needed to touch him the most.
A pained sound left him as I dragged my nails across his thigh and I looked up, saw his head arched back, the veins standing out as he groaned out my name. “Did I…” I stopped myself from asking. The answer scared me. Desire was a monster inside me and I ached for more than I could describe, but if he said something—
“You’re driving me crazy. Don’t stop,” he muttered, grasping his cock in one hand.
Mesmerized, I stared, watching as he fisted himself, dragged his hand up, then down. Under the thin shield of the latex, the fat, round head of his cock was swollen and my mouth watered. I wanted to…
“Stop.”
I shot him a look, startled.
He grasped his balls in his other hand and a vicious spasm of want wrenched at me as he stroked himself, harder and faster. And all the while he watched me. All but daring me. “Stop looking at me like that, like you’re all but dying to put your mouth on me,” he said. “If you won’t do it, then just…”
My mouth fell open.
And that long, powerful body shuddered. “Fuck, Shadow. You’re killing me.”
My mouth.
On him.
Maybe if I just did it—
I didn’t let myself think.
His voice was a ragged snarl that echoed around us as I leaned down and did exactly what we both seemed to need. I hated that the rubber was there, even though part me understood it. Smart sex, blah, blah, blah. Who cared about smart?
The rest of me was too caught up in everything else. The way he was shuddering against me. The way one of his hands cupped my cheek—softly, gently, almost as if he couldn’t believe I was doing this.
I couldn’t either.
His body arched up, rocking to me as I moved down on him, taking as much of his cock as I could, half-choking as he hit the back of my throat, and then moving back. It was awkward. I’d never been very good at this, a fact that—
My brain shut that thought down before I could finish. I hadn’t been very good at it, but I could learn. Jenks liked it when I paused at the top and scraped my teeth against him and I’d seen how he’d grasped his sac in his hand so I did the same thing.
That made his breathing came faster and the muscles in his thighs bunched hard and tight.
I liked that.
But then, just as he started to rock harder and faster against me and my head was spinning with the delight of all of this, he stopped. Seconds later, I was on my back, staring up at the ceiling and then shoving up onto my elbows to look down at him.
He knelt between my thighs and I could see the top of his head as he caught my hips in his hands. “My turn. You’re going to drive me crazy,” he muttered. “You…fuck. Shadow, just let me…”
Let
him?
A shaky moan escaped me as he pressed his mouth against me.
I had to stare at him, because if I closed my eyes for even a second, I was going to go back to dark and ugly places, but it wasn’t a hard thing to see him kneeling between my thighs, his body so dark against my own, the top edges of the snarling wolf visible as he moved against me.
Need throbbed, vibrating inside. I had to choke back a scream as he stabbed his tongue against me. My clit pulsed and that pleasure was almost too brutal, almost too much. He growled against me and slid me a look, his gaze practically glowing. “Scream for me. I want to hear you come. I want you to break and sigh and fall apart. I’ll catch you, Shadow. I swear.”
It was an intimate sort of promise, one I wanted to trust.
Then he slid two fingers inside me and I had no choice. The climax slammed into me and I broke. I didn’t sigh—I sobbed out his name, and I flew so high, reaching for his shoulders and clutching at him, needing something to keep me from flying into a thousand pieces.
And then, as he pressed a soft kiss to my inner thigh, I started to fall.
He was there to catch me. Nothing had ever felt so right.
His eyes dark and hungry, he settled between my thighs.
“It’s just us,” he murmured.
I nodded, the motion awkward and jerky, my breath a sob in my throat as I wrapped my arms around him.
Just us.
The blunt head probing between my thighs was thick, thicker than I was used to and my breath hitched in my throat as he started to stretch me. Everything in the world narrowed down, focused down to nothing but this…the way it felt as he slowly filled me. His gaze caught mine as he withdrew and I caught my breath when he sank back inside, a little deeper, and he pulsed, throbbed inside me. I could feel it.
I clenched around him, unable to stop it. The thick, long ridge of his cock jerked in response and I whimpered, drawing up one knee. A gasp lodged in my throat and I squirmed on the bed, thrashing and straining to get closer.
A slow smile twisted his lips and it sent a surge of embarrassment twisting through me even as the delight burned me from the inside out. I tried to look away but he tangled a hand in my hair and muttered, “No.”
Pieces of Me Page 10
