“You owe me no apologies.”
“Would you have taken Kal as your soul mate? If I’d come back to The Firm earlier, or if I’d refused to take her anyway?”
Tread carefully, Ryan thought. “I’m sorry I had to resort to that method to bring you back, Will. You know I would never willingly put an innocent at risk. Especially someone with a pure soul such as hers.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“Does it matter? You had a pure bond with Abby. You have a pure bond with Kal. What ifs and why dids have no place in your relationship with her. Love her, cherish her. Enjoy what you have and let the past lay. Please.”
Will’s eyes looked red. “Whose amulet did you give her?” he hoarsely asked.
“It was mine to give. Your soul mate is powerful within her own right. You’ve already seen that. She needs the extra protection, the ability to learn and come into her powers. The means to take full advantage of what the two of you have so she can stay safer.”
Stalemate.
Will’s shoulders slumped as he dropped his gaze to the floor again. “We missed you,” he muttered. “When you left. Me and Aidan. We really missed you. It wasn’t the same without you around.”
Ryan sucked in a sharp breath. “As I missed you.” He arose from the stool and stared at Will. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could say more, but I can’t.”
Will closed the gap and hugged him. Ryan closed his eyes and fought back his own tears.
“I missed you…brother,” Will said.
“I missed you too, brother.”
“Why did Abby call out to you instead of me when they attacked her?”
Ryan hoped Will couldn’t sense his shock. He stepped back. “She was a brilliant woman from a warrior race. She knew they would kill you if you appeared. She refused to put you in jeopardy. Not to mention you were across the barrier. She wasn’t sure you could have heard her anyway.”
Will nodded and turned, wiped his eyes. “Thanks.” He disappeared.
Ryan stood there looking at the empty space for a long moment, his emotions upended. He reset the barrier and grabbed his plate. Dumping the uneaten eggs into the garbage disposal, he washed the dishes and retreated to his bedroom to try to sleep.
Chapter 21
Kal tried to return to a semblance of normalcy. She still felt sad, but managed to find a balance in her life, allowing her to work and open up to Will for his support. She fought the urge to throw herself into her show duties to hide from the pain.
She also resisted the urge to stay angry at Will and Ryan for keeping the news of her father’s cancer from her.
Aidan was a huge help, his ready ear and willing hugs soothing her when Will had to be away. One bad evening, while Will was helping Ryan, Kal shut their office door and crawled into Aidan’s lap, resting her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her and pulled her snugly against him. “You okay, sweet cheeks?”
Kal nodded. “Yeah. I will be.” She sighed. “Does this get any easier?”
He kissed the top of her head. “Honey, it’s never easy. I’ve been alive a lot of years, and trust me, it’s never easy, no matter how many times you go through it.”
“How did you get past losing your sister and Abby?”
“I put one foot in front of the other. That’s all I could do. That’s all anyone can do.”
“I feel guilty. Like we could have done something.”
He made her sit up and look at him, his voice serious. “Kal, you know Ryan. If he could have done something he would have done it in a heartbeat. Your dad was too far gone by the time Ryan learned about the cancer. He did the only thing he could do, and that’s make it so you all could enjoy his last months together. You’ve got some good memories. Don’t let wishing and regrets taint them.”
“I still wish they’d told me sooner.”
“And do what, make you miserable? Your dad wouldn’t have wanted that. Quit being mad at them for knowing about it. They helped you spend a lot more time than you would have had with him. The time you did have was pretty darn tootin’ good, all things considered. You had a good wedding, lots of good memories.”
“Yeah.”
He hugged her again. “Kiddo, it’ll hurt for a long time. I’m not saying it won’t. All I’m saying is you keep on keepin’ on, and eventually you’ll find a place where you can come to terms with it.”
“You should make motivational posters.”
“You’re a real ballbuster, you know that? Dang good thing I love you so much, girl.”
“Watch out. You’ll make Jeff jealous.”
He grinned. “No chance of that, sweet cheeks. You know you’re not my type, and so does he.”
“So when do we get to plan your wedding?”
Aidan looked sad for a moment. “Never, according to the Constitution of the great state of Florida. You know that’s irrelevant anyway.”
“You know what I mean.”
He looked away, quiet. “I haven’t decided on that yet. It’s forever. It’s a lot to ask of someone. I’d hate to make him miserable. There’s still time to decide that.”
“Life’s short. For him, at least. He’s not getting any younger.”
“Oh, girlfriend, we are so not having this conversation.” He tickled her, effectively shutting down her protests.
When the tickle fight ended she lay gasping for air in his lap. She laced her fingers through his. He really was the big brother she’d never had. It felt good knowing she could count on him.
“Why don’t you talk to Jeff?”
“Don’t make me tickle you again.”
“Then talk to him. Give him a chance to say yes.”
“What if he says no?” Although he knew damn well in the depths of his soul that Jeff wouldn’t say no.
“You’ll never find out if you don’t ask him, right?”
“Let me think on it. Taking a soul mate’s a huge responsibility. I mean, I know you and Will had it easy—” He stopped short, like he almost said something he didn’t want to say, then switched tracks. “I don’t have to ask him tomorrow. He’s not gonna die on me in the next year or so. We’ve just started talking about moving in together on a permanent basis. I’ve been alone for a lot of years, Kal. I don’t want to make him miserable.”
“He loves you. I see the way he looks at you, watches you in the office.”
“Yeah, well I love him, too. Loving someone and making them your soul mate forever are two different things.”
“He accepted the whole ‘demons real’ news pretty well.”
“Thanks to Ryan. I don’t want Ryan getting any bright ideas and helping things along.” His face darkened. “Besides, remember, Jeff doesn’t know the whole story. He only knows the good side of things. He might not want to be stuck in the position of sitting around waiting for me to come home from assignments.” He made her sit up. “You ready to go home, kiddo?”
She nodded. He took her hand and they appeared in her living room. Will wasn’t home yet.
Aidan hugged her. “Want me to hang around?”
“No. You go have fun. I’ll be okay.”
“Call out to me if you need me, okay? I promise I’ll come to you.”
She nodded. “Thanks.” Aidan disappeared. She thought about Ryan. He’d also promised to come to her if ever she called, but she knew he couldn’t right now. He was across the barrier, whatever that meant, and Will was doing whatever it was Ryan needed help with on Earth.
Despite the men’s admonishments not to worry, Kal couldn’t help it. They weren’t telling her everything, and she didn’t know why. Even Aidan was apparently partially clueless. Him and his big mouth, there were probably things Will and Ryan couldn’t tell him for fear of him accidentally spilling the beans.
She fingered her amulet and closed her eyes, resisting the urge to call out to Will and check on him. Ryan told her she’d instinctively know if Will was ever in trouble. She didn’t feel anything like that now. She didn
’t want to distract him and make him feel bad that he wasn’t home with her.
Kal settled in for a long evening alone.
* * * *
Aidan returned home, stewing, with Kal’s words echoing in his ears. Why wasn’t he moving forward with Jeff? He loved him, Jeff loved him back, it was all copacetic.
Fear.
He’d be lying if he said it was anything but. Fear of losing a soul mate, of not being able to protect him. Fear of being alone after giving his heart over. Look at the shit weasel, he’d lost Chloe eons ago and still hadn’t found love again.
Screw it being better to have loved and lost than never loved.
His house felt lonely without Jeff’s presence. Dammit, now being alone even felt wrong. It only felt right when he was with Jeff. Considering they spent every night together at one place or the other, it shouldn’t surprise him he felt like that.
It wasn’t too late to call. Jeff answered almost immediately, eagerly. Aidan closed his eyes and pictured his lover’s face. It was obvious who’d be the “girl” in this relationship. Jeff had comfortably slipped into a subordinate role as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to do.
“Do you mind if I come over?” Aidan asked.
“Of course not!”
Aidan appeared in Jeff’s living room. The other man’s beaming grin sealed Aidan’s fate.
Jeff hung up and put the phone on the coffee table. “That part still takes a little getting used to.”
Aidan pushed him down onto the couch and kissed him. “Yeah, but how about this part?”
He nodded. “This part was easy to get used to, Aid.”
He looked into Jeff’s eyes. “Do you feel like making it permanent? I mean, on a trial basis, at least?”
“What?”
Aidan swallowed and forced it out, the words quickly tumbling from his lips before he could chicken out. “Wouldyouliketomoveinwithme?”
Jeff hesitated as Aidan’s words sank in. Then he grinned and grabbed Aidan. He kissed him hard and fiercely, taking Aidan’s breath away. “Really?”
“Yeah. Really. I mean, not do the soul mate thing yet, because I don’t want to rush you. We can talk about that later. I just—”
Jeff grabbed him again and kissed him, cutting off his words, derailing Aidan’s train of thought. “Yes. Whenever you’re ready to make me your soul mate, you say the word.”
“Hey, I just want you to know for sure what you’re getting yourself into.”
“Archdemons saving the world on a regular basis. Got it.”
Aidan shook his head and took Jeff’s hands. “No, you don’t. It’s not always fun and ghost hunting bullshit. Sometimes we have to go out on assignments. Even though Ryan tries his best to stack the deck in our favor, sometimes there’s gonna be times it’s not a sure thing.”
Jeff’s eyes never left Aidan’s. “I’m willing to risk it. If Army wives can do it, so can I.”
“It’s forever.”
Jeff’s eyes never wavered from Aidan’s. “Sounds good to me.”
“I’m your first relationship.”
“Sounds like you’re trying to back out on me.”
“No!” Aidan closed his eyes and gathered his thoughts. “I don’t want you to rush to a decision you’ll regret.”
“I’m patient, Aid. Whenever you’re ready to take the next step, I’ll be right there with you.”
“So you’re okay with this?”
Jeff smiled again, binding Aidan’s heart in a pleasant way. “Yeah. I’m okay with this. I already know what I want. I want you.”
Aidan fell on him, kissing him, wishing he could push past that last hesitation in his own soul. Not hesitation over Jeff, but over himself. Could he really take care of another soul? Was he ready for that? It was easy for Will or Ryan, but he was the doofus, the goofball. He hadn’t taken care of anyone since Chloe was a baby. Could he really do this and not let Jeff down?
They ended up in Jeff’s bed. Jeff helped Aidan remove his shirt, licking and kissing his chest as he bared his flesh.
Aidan tangled his fingers in Jeff’s hair and held him pressed against his chest. “I love you,” he said.
“I love you too, Aid.”
“I don’t want anyone but you. I’m not going anywhere. I just need some time to make sure I won’t hurt you.”
Jeff lifted his head. “You’d never hurt me.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know it.” Jeff stroked Aidan’s stubbly chin. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”
“So we’ll move in together, and you’ll let me wrap my stupid head around it and prove you right after a few months or so, right?”
Jeff grinned. “Right.”
Aidan kissed him, his tongue parting Jeff’s lips, nibbling and gently biting. “You’ll be patient?”
Jeff propped himself up on his arms so he could stare into Aidan’s eyes. “We’re going to live together. We’re exclusive. And when you quit being scared and realize that I’m not going anywhere and that I’m really okay with spending the rest of eternity with you, you’ll make me your soul mate.”
Aidan smiled. “Yeah. That about sums it up.”
Jeff grinned. “Yeah. I’ll be patient. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t know how to say it any other way. I don’t want to be anywhere but with you.”
Aidan let out a deep breath. “Okay. So…we’re…together. Officially together.”
“We’re officially together.”
“What about your parents?”
“They like you. Not that I care what they think. That’s just a bonus.”
“But what about—”
“Bok bok.” Jeff grinned.
“What?”
“Booook. Bok bok bok. Chicken.”
Aidan laughed and rolled over on top of Jeff, pinned his arms over his head. “Take it back,” he said with a sly smile.
“Nope. You’re a big chicken.”
Aidan ground his hips against Jeff’s, drawing a low moan from the other man. “I’m not a chicken. I’m cautious.”
“You’re a big, fat chicken.”
Aidan bumped him with his hips again. “Yeah, well, I’ve got a big fat drumstick here that says I’m not.”
Jeff laughed. “Drumstick?”
Aidan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know. Sorry.” He kissed Jeff again, releasing his hands and enjoying the feel of his lover’s arms around him. Aidan lifted Jeff’s shirt over his head. “You know, there’s still something we haven’t done yet. Technically you’re still a virgin in one way.” He sat up, straddling Jeff. “Feel like playing top tonight?”
Aidan knew he’d never grow tired of Jeff’s smile. “I could be persuaded,” Jeff said. He rolled Aidan over and straddled him. “Easily persuaded.”
They both stripped and Jeff grabbed a bottle of lube and a couple of towels.
Aidan knelt on the bed. “How you want me, sugar?”
Jeff kissed him. “Any way I can have you.”
Aidan grinned. “You know what I mean.”
Jeff pushed him onto the bed, on his back. “Like this.” Jeff leaned in and hungrily devoured his mouth, his stiff cock rubbing against Aidan’s stomach as he knelt over him.
Aidan literally couldn’t remember the last time he’d bottomed.
The last time he trusted someone marginally enough to bottom for them.
He closed his eyes and spread his legs. Jeff went down on him, pulling a loud, happy moan from deep within Aidan. Damn, he was good. Jeff knew just how to use his tongue on his cock, when and where to lightly flick, how and when to deeply suck. Then Jeff cradled Aidan’s sac in his hand and stroked his balls. Aidan thought he might go over, until Jeff wrapped his fingers tightly around the base, keeping him from coming.
He sat up with a playful smile. “Not yet, man. Not until I’m inside you.”
Aidan threw his head back and wiggled his hips. “Hurry up, dammit. You’re torturing me.” He drew his
knees up while Jeff shoved a pillow under his ass. He bit back a hungry growl when he felt Jeff’s fingers and cool lube against his dark hole.
“I want to torture you for the rest of our lives,” Jeff said. “I’m not giving up until I’ve convinced you of that.” He carefully pressed for entrance.
Aidan’s body had carried him past the point of coherent speech. He wiggled his ass, encouraging Jeff to keep going. Jeff replaced one finger with two, then a few minutes later followed with three.
“Is that okay?” Jeff softly asked.
“Yeah!”
He chuckled and after a few minutes withdrew his hand.
Aidan’s heart raced, knowing what was next. Part of him wanted to say fuck it, flip Jeff over and screw him silly, and claim him as his soul mate right then. Fortunately a little bit of reason held on and told him to wait. Neither of them were going anywhere. That and the fact that Aidan wasn’t sure how to do it. He suspected it worked the same way it did between a man and a woman, but maybe he needed to bite the bullet and talk to the shit weasel first, make sure there were no surprises in store.
Jeff’s cock pressed against his tight ring of muscle. “Okay?”
Aidan nodded and licked his lips. “Just take it slow and easy, sugar. You’ll do fine.”
Jeff did. When he was fully seated inside Aidan he stroked his lover’s cock the same way Aidan had stroked his. “Like this?”
Aidan tried to buck his hips against him. “Oh, fuck yeah!” He forced his eyes open and looked at Jeff. Jeff’s blue eyes focused on him.
Jeff took a long, slow stroke inside Aidan. “This feels so good!”
Aidan nodded. “Yeah!”
Jeff grinned. “Now I know why you enjoy this so much.”
Aidan laughed. “You gonna talk or fuck me, buddy?” Jeff took a hard stroke inside Aidan, and that pushed Aidan over the edge. He climaxed, coating Jeff’s hand and his own belly with his juices as he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to buck his hips against his lover.
When Jeff knew Aidan had finished, he released his cock and leaned forward. “My turn.” Aidan held on to him and rolled his hips with Jeff’s thrusts as the other man grabbed his thighs and fucked him. When Jeff came he cried out, burying his cock deep inside Aidan. Aidan pulled him down to his chest and wrapped his long limbs around Jeff.
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