by Sam Crescent
Holding her was both a blessing and a curse.
All he wanted to do was fuck her, to show her how much he craved and desired her. Only he held himself back, constantly waiting, letting her set the pace so he didn’t hurt her.
He’d held her through two miscarriages, and then she’d admitted she’d been pregnant another time but she hadn’t told him about it for fear of losing the baby.
Every second of this pregnancy he’d been fucking terrified.
They could only handle so much grief before it completely tore them apart.
“Last time I checked, you had a wife,” Ned said.
Butch didn’t stop punching the bag in front of him.
After a few seconds, Ned grabbed the bag, holding it firmly. Again, he didn’t have a clue what the guy’s age was, but he held that bag as if it didn’t have any weight in it.
As Butch hit it several times, Ned tutted.
“So, this is what you do all day and you wonder why your marriage is in trouble.”
“You’ve never been married, so you don’t get to tell me how to deal with my problems.”
Ned held his hands up. “Clearly, what you’re doing right now is working.”
“What do you want from me, old man? Seriously.”
“I think the biggest question here, Butch, is what do you want?”
Silence fell between them.
Ned chuckled.
“You see, in this world there are two kinds of people. There are those people that do everything, and then there are those that sit around blaming everyone else for how shit their life is.”
Butch rolled his eyes. “I don’t have time for this.”
“You have all the time in the world. You spend a lot of time here already, nothing wrong with taking a few more minutes to listen to some advice.”
“Who the fuck do you think you are? My dad?”
“Nah, if I was your dad I’d have put you over my knee when you were a snot-nosed kid.” Ned pointed a finger in his face. “You have everything at your fingertips. Your entire life ahead of you and you’re wasting it for what? Why the fuck are you here?”
“Because I fucked up! Is that what you want me to say? To be honest with you. I fucked up, which is why I landed myself here with you.” He glared at Ned. “I had to take my punishment, and not only that, I dragged Cheryl down with me.”
“Down? Where the fuck are you down? I don’t see anything down about your situation. You’ve got a wife that thinks the world of you. A baby on the way. Life’s been tough, but here’s a newsflash, no one owes you shit. You want what you want, and you take it. Simple as that.”
Butch shook his head and started to walk away.
“Here’s a question for you, Butch, you think you could go back?”
This made him pause.
“What?”
“To Fort Wills. You think you could sit at the table in your fancy church meeting, listening to Lash?”
“What the hell does this have to do with anything?” Butch asked.
Ned stared at him. “You’ve been on your own for a long time now, Butch. Longer than a lot of men are away from their clubs unless they’re part of the Nomad chapter. You’re your own boss. You make the rules here. What makes you think you could go back to taking orders? You look around you and you see this as a punishment? This is fucking freedom right here. The only problem right now is you’ve not got the balls to take what you want.”
With that, Butch walked right up to him and, old man or not, landed a blow to the bastard’s face. Ned didn’t go down.
“Stay the fuck away from me.”
“You know I’m right. That’s what has you worried. Why you keep looking at the door?”
“I check the door because of Cheryl.”
“Bullshit. You check the door to see if you’ve finally got your orders to return. Here’s a little thought, you ever think that you may not want to return?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You’re a bright man, Butch. Figure it out, but I have a feeling your bad mood has nothing to do with your wife, but about the harsh reality of the truth you’re refusing to face.” Ned rubbed his chin and Butch watched him walk away, staring at him.
He didn’t linger in the gym. He wanted to get home. Storming out the door, he didn’t go quietly. Climbing into his car, he sat, holding the wheel, squeezing it as if it had the answers to all of his problems.
Nothing was simple anymore.
His life had never been easy. He’d accepted that.
But what the hell was wrong with him?
He and Cheryl were doing good. Apart from the yearning on his part and the fact she was pregnant, they were in a really good place.
The only problem was, something bothered him.
He didn’t like this sinking feeling that twisted inside his gut.
Glancing to the passenger side of his car, he stared at his leather cut.
His Skulls jacket. The one he still wore, even though he wasn’t in Fort Wills.
Picking it up, he spread it out over the steering wheel and ran his hand across the emblem and logo.
Becoming part of The Skulls had felt like the right path to go on. He’d been part of an MC. His father had been Prez and he his brat a lifetime ago. When he’d gotten pushed into the care system and it had been stripped away from him, part of his soul had died. When he took on the role of Prospect at The Skulls, it had felt … exhilarating. He’d finally woken up to what he wanted, what he needed to be, and where he needed to go.
An MC wasn’t just a damn biker club.
It was family, and that’s what he missed about The Skulls.
Could he go back?
Was that even possible?
Being in Vegas, working with Ned, doing what he needed to do to make a living, it had changed him.
He didn’t like where Ned’s questions were going. It scared him.
His options were fading out, and part of him was afraid of what Cheryl wanted. He didn’t want to bring it up in case they weren’t on the same page.
Dropping the jacket back on the seat, he slammed his hand against the steering wheel. No matter how hard he tried, he seemed to be fucked whatever he did.
Collapsing back against his seat, he closed his eyes.
“Just take a deep breath. It’ll all be fine. Perfectly fine.”
Opening his eyes, he stared at Ned, who stood in front of the car. He didn’t want to talk to the old bastard right now.
Ned came to the driver’s side of the car. “You done having your temper tantrum?”
“Yeah, what is it?”
“I need a ride to the hospital. Punk got into a fight. He’s hurt.”
“What?” Butch sat up, but Ned had already closed the door and rounded to the passenger side.
He threw the leather cut into the back seat and sat down. Starting up the car, he pulled out, and headed toward the hospital. “That kid is too young to fight,” Butch said.
“I know that. You know that. I’ll see how badly he’s been messed up and see what the damage is. So I can deal with the consequences.”
“Always thinking about your reputation.”
“If one person thinks they can take out my fighters, how long before my gym gets hit? My businesses? You think people show me respect because I’m old. Hell, no, they show me respect because I fucking earn it, and they know I’ll deal with them accordingly. Hate me all you want, but you know I’m right.”
They sat in silence as he drove across the strip, heading toward the hospital where Ned told him to go.
“I just want you to know, it’s not a thing, not wanting to go back to The Skulls. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t.”
Butch didn’t say anything.
****
“Everything is here, wrapped and ready to go.” Cheryl smiled at Ned.
He shook his head. “You’re too good of a wife.”
“I’ve got nothing better to do.” She looked at
the gift basket she’d spent the entire day making after Butch told her what happened.
One of his fighters was in the hospital and had been beaten in a pretty bad way. She wanted to help, and seeing as she was forced to stay at home for the most part, she didn’t see a reason why she couldn’t do this kind gesture.
“You better not be stressing yourself out. I want that baby to come out strong.”
She put a hand on her swollen stomach. “We’re doing good.”
“You spend too much time on your own. I don’t like that.”
“It’s fine. I’ve never really been good at the whole making friends thing.” She tucked some hair behind her ear and watched Ned.
He kept on staring at her.
“What is it?”
“I was just wondering if you’re planning on going back to Fort Wills anytime soon?”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so, why?”
“Do you want to go back?” he asked.
She nibbled her lip. When she thought about Fort Wills, it filled her with a sense of unease. “I don’t really know.”
“Come on, it’s not a hard question.”
“I don’t know if it’s something I’ll ever be able to do, so it seems kind of pointless even talking about it.” She tilted her head to the side. “What are you up to?”
“I’m just wondering. You and Butch, you’ve been here a while, and something has changed between the two of you.”
She touched her stomach. “It’s the baby. The nerves.”
“I don’t think that’s all it is. You two need to sit down and actually talk about what you both want from your future.”
She snorted. “Yeah, we can’t even get in the same room together for long enough to talk about plans for the future. We’re kind of waiting to see how this goes.”
“And what do you do then? I know from experience having a kid is not easy. You don’t have more time to talk. You have less time.”
“I know that.”
“Does Butch?”
“He’s not around all that much, Ned. I can’t force him to sit and talk to me.”
“Why not?”
“Because, it’s bad enough that we can’t…” Her cheeks were heating. She was a grown ass woman, and talking to Ned was like talking to her father, or maybe even her grandfather. “You know.”
“Have sex?”
“Yeah.”
Ned stared at her with a frown.
“What?” she asked.
He was giving her this weird look that was really starting to unnerve her.
“What? Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
“I’m an old man. I’ve seen a lot of things. Done a lot of good and bad things, but I’m not exactly sure what the hell is going on right now.”
She chuckled. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You don’t want to have physical sex because of the troubles that can cause. I get that. I understand it. Right there with you, but, and here is a pretty big but, you do know that there’s a lot more to fucking than just sex, right?”
“You and I really shouldn’t be talking about this.”
“I’m being serious. You had the talk about the whole sex thing, right?”
“Of course I did. I’m nearly a mother of two.” This had to be the weirdest conversation she’d ever had.
“Then you know there’s a lot more to fucking than just sex, right? There’s that magical word of foreplay, and you can do to each other that doesn’t have to go to the full physical. You play with him, he plays with you. You don’t have to ignore each other.”
“Did you have this conversation with Eva?”
“Nope, and as far as I’m concerned, she’s still a virgin who can produce children at will,” Ned said. “Have you two seriously gone that long without sex?”
“Ned, I don’t think this is an appropriate topic for us to talk about.”
“Someone has to, otherwise you’re going to dry up. Sex is necessary, and it’s damn good and pleasurable. You need to think of a way to bring your man back in. Talk to him about your plans for the future and don’t take no for an answer. He’s not fucking anyone at the gym either, so I don’t know what his excuse is. You need to get your man in check.”
Ned picked up the gift basket, and she waddled her way to the door.
She gave him a wave as he left. Again, he wasn’t driving but had someone from the gym take him everywhere.
From what Eva had told her once, her father didn’t like to drive if he didn’t need to. Closing the door, she rested against it and wondered what to do with that kind of information. It had been a long time since she’d tried to seduce Butch.
Could it work?
The doctor who she visited once a week had told her everything was progressing normally and that she didn’t see a reason to worry. Her baby was strong, as was she, and she didn’t foresee any complications.
She couldn’t help but worry even though her pregnancy had progressed healthily.
Her concerns were because of previous miscarriages.
She and Butch hadn’t progressed this long in a pregnancy before.
Ned was right.
She’d been holding everything off for fear of what the future would hold. In doing so, she’d pushed Butch away.
Moving from the door, she made her way upstairs to their bedroom. Staring at herself in the mirror, she winced. She wore a pair of maternity pants and a shirt. The baby bump was in full swing, and it was so big.
She didn’t feel sexy, far from it.
She was still able to get about and function. She could sit and stand, though admittedly, it was getting increasingly difficult now.
“Not much longer to go and you’re coming out. I can’t wait to meet you, but before then, I’m going to have to be really patient.” Opening the closet door, she stepped inside and opened the drawer where she kept her special lingerie. The sexy kind. Lifting them up, she felt her cheeks heat. This could go really badly.
Still, she was willing to do whatever it took to get Butch to talk to her, to spend some time with her, and for them both to stop yelling.
She was the one that did most of the yelling.
She took a quick shower, and wasn’t able to actually shave because she couldn’t reach her ankles, but she did underneath her arms. She washed her hair, soaped all of her body, and turned the water off when she was done.
Once she was dry, she stepped into the sexy thong and sheer lace panties before adding the wrap that gave her some semblance of modesty. It was not a lot, but it would do for what she wanted. When that was done, she finished her hair, put some makeup on, and headed downstairs to the kitchen.
Putting some beers in the fridge, she grabbed her cell phone and hovered over his name.
She hadn’t phoned him at work in so long.
Would he like the interruption?
You’re planning a seduction. How can you do that if he doesn’t know to come home alone?
Biting her lip, she dialed his number and waited.
“Hello,” he said.
He sounded out of breath. She heard several men panting.
“Hey,” she said. “It’s me.”
He chuckled. “I know, babe. I saw your name on my call ID. Do it again, harder this time.”
“What?” she asked.
“Sorry, I was just telling one of the guys how to throw a punch properly. Two seconds, let me get out of here.”
She heard all the noise and then the sound of doors opening and closing.
“I saw the gift basket you did for Punk. Thanks, babe. All the boys loved it. We had some things to add to it, but other than that, it was good.”
“Why do I feel porno magazines were involved?” she asked.
“That’s because they totally were. He’s a young kid with a wild imagination.”
“You’re all bad.”
“Just the way you like us.”
She giggled.
“Wha
t’s wrong, babe? It has been a long time since you called me at work.”
“It has been too long. There’s nothing wrong, really, I just wanted to make sure that you came home tonight, around seven. I’ve got a surprise for you, and I really need for you to come alone.”
“You know I love surprises.”
“Well, I hope you’ll love this one.”
“Sounds promising. I’ll be home by seven, promise.”
She couldn’t stop smiling. “I love you, Butch.”
“I love you too, baby, always. Never forget that.”
He hung up, and she stared at the phone.
She could handle this.
Chapter Four
As he sat in his driveway at six-fifty-six, anticipation filled Butch in every single fiber of his being. He wanted nothing more than to enter his home and for everything to be fine.
The way Cheryl had spoken to him on the phone made him think of sex, of need, of everything he wanted to do to her and then some. Would it be so wrong to pull out of the driveway right now, and call her to say something had come up?
He shook his head.
“You’re not a coward, Butch. Get out of the fucking car.”
Climbing out of the car, he didn’t look back as he clicked the lock and made his way into his home. The scent of citrus fruits filled the air, and he noticed candles lit his way. Closing the door, he was careful not to blow out any of the candles because he saw she’d worked so hard.
His heart raced as he followed the path of candles. When he came to the sitting room, he saw his wife, curled up on the sofa, smiling at him. Her hair was curled around her face, and she wore the red lingerie that he knew she’d bought but he’d never seen—and his cock went from flaccid to hard within seconds.
“Hey, handsome,” she said.
He watched as she climbed off the sofa.
She struggled a little, but she didn’t ask for his help. He stepped up to her, and she placed her hands on his chest.
“Hey, baby. What’s all this?” he asked.
“Do you like it?”
“I do.”
“Then don’t think.” She went onto her tiptoes, using his body to help steady her as her lips brushed against his. Her stomach touched his body, and he cupped her hips, holding her close.
She released a moan, and he curved his hand down to cup her ass. It had been too long since he’d touched his wife, since he’d felt her fill his hands, and he was hard for her once again.
