Is she for real?
I step back and hold my hand up between us when she makes a move towards me again. “You need to leave, Kelly. In case you didn’t get the message before, let me make it clear now. I’m in love with someone, and I don’t need you to fuck that up.”
She rolls her eyes and still moves towards me so that she has me almost pinned against the wall. “Have you already forgotten how much you love me?”
I have never been close to hitting a girl, but it’s taking everything in me not to toss her off me right now. Instead, I take a deep breath and remember that I’m clearly dealing with someone who’s not of their whole mind. After a second date with her, I knew she was a stage five clinger and was relieved when she moved away last year. But it looks like she’s back, and more delusional than ever.
When I step towards her and put my hands on her shoulders, I can tell she thinks I’ve actually given in to her bucket of crazy. Instead, I back her away from me and grab for a blanket I have thrown over my couch to cover her up. “Kelly, I’m not trying to be a dick, but you give me no choice. We fucked. That’s all, and it was never anything more. I was clear back then, and I’m being clear now. You are not welcome here. I could call the cops on you for breaking and entering.”
She laughs, and it’s one of those laughs that you hear in movies when a woman has totally lost it; it’s more of a cackle. I’m momentarily glad she isn’t wearing hardly any clothing or else I’d be worried she was hiding a weapon. “If you didn’t want me here, then why’d you leave your door unlocked?”
My patience was gone the second I saw her in my house, and now I’m considering a restraining order. “I always keep it unlocked, but clearly that habit will be changing.”
“Joey…” When she tries to slither up to me again, I move out of her grasp, and take her by the arm and lead her to my door.
“I’m only going to say this once.” I’m pretty sure there is actual smoke piping from my ears. I’ve never been so pissed. “Don’t ever come here again. Don’t ever call here again. Don’t ever speak to me again. Turn around and leave.”
I don’t wait for her reply; I physically turn her body around and guide her out my door. When she turns around to try to say something else, I slam the door and lock both bolts; I make the rounds through my house and lock every door and window. Then my mind flashes to Kat. If Kelly was crazy enough to just walk in my house, she could do the same at Kat’s. I have no idea whether or not she knows where Kat lives, but I’m not taking the chance. I watch the taillights of Kelly’s car disappear down the street, but I’m still worried, so I walk out my door and head over to Kat’s. Immediately I notice a light on at the back of her house in the kitchen that wasn’t on before and hope she’s awake. Nothing would make me feel better than to have her in my arms after dealing with that. I know I have to tell her about Kelly, but maybe it can wait until after she’s back from the funeral.
When I get to her doorstep, I turn the knob and am surprised to notice it’s locked. I should be happy that she’s finally followed my directions, but I’m only draped in disappointment. I remember the light in her kitchen is on, and make my way around the side of the house. The noise from my footsteps on the stones seemingly announces my arrival to the entire neighborhood. My hope is demolished when I see nothing but an empty kitchen. I’m not ready to give up on seeing her yet, and pick up a few stones to throw up at her window, just like I did the night before Jess’s wedding.
After the fifth toss, I realize she must be sound asleep and my desires are going to have to be snuffed out for the night. Tonight has been such a crazy night, with Kat telling me she has to go to see Kevin and with crazy Kelly waiting half-naked for me in my house. I need a stiff drink and to go straight to bed. I’ve got a lunch date tomorrow with Kat, and I’m going to make sure it’s one she’ll never forget.
Kat
“His Jar of Hearts”
I’m going to be sick. I’m literally going to barf all over his front porch if I see one more thing.
How could he?
Wait, no, how could I be so stupid? For the entire time I’ve known Joey, he’s always said he could never be monogamous, and look at him now. Pressed up against the wall with the half-naked slut from Jess’s wedding grasping at his clothes.
I turn around and walk back to my house and close my eyes, trying to get the vision out of my mind although I’m sure it’s permanently etched in my psyche. I knew something was up between the two of them when she never took her eyes off him at the wedding. Everywhere we were, she was. Any time I walked away, I would find her trying to get close to Joey. God! How could I have been so fooled? I actually believed he loved me. But just as I thought, once I gave it up to him, the thrill of the chase was gone and I became just another notch on his belt. I’ve been played, and by Joey McMillan of all people.
When I go inside, I’m sure to lock the door, and go into the kitchen and pour a giant glass of wine. The tears pour uncontrollably at the pain of my heart shattering into a million pieces. I down the entire glass and pour another, anything to make the crushing pain stop.
“Plaster fucking sucks.” I’m talking to myself and I don’t give a crap. I down the second glass and put my head in my hands, trying to make the sadness stop. “Plaster isn’t even that strong. It chips away. Why couldn’t he be fucking steel? Idiot.”
I contemplate calling and leaving him a scathing message, but I don’t want him to see how much he’s hurt me. I’m not giving him that power over me. He knows how important trust is to me, and he threw mine away so easily. I decide to go to Jess’s place because I know she won’t be home until tomorrow and I can get some distance between us. The thought of being down the street from the love of my life while he bones another woman is more than I can take right now. I get in my car and pull out of the driveway and out of my neighborhood as fast as I can.
The anxiety takes over as I drive away. I should have known things would end this way, but I really did believe he was different with me. I believed that I was enough to make him change. Ugh, how stupid. Life isn’t a stupid fairy tale where the bad boy finds a woman to change him. Life is realizing that bad boys don’t change.
When I go into Jess’s house, the emptiness feels even more powerful. I need to talk to someone, but who? Jess is gone, and it’s almost two in the morning. I decide to text Cam; once she hears what’s happened, she’ll forgive my intrusion. If I don’t talk to someone right now, I’ll fall apart.
Me: Joey cheated on me.
Almost instantly, Cam replies:
Cam: I’m on my way, and Holden’s going over to kill Joey. We’ll have to help him bury the body.
I know she’s only trying to make me smile, but I don’t want Holden getting involved—yet.
Me: I’m at Jess’s, couldn’t stand to be so close to him. Please tell Holden not to say anything. I don’t want to deal with Joey yet.
Cam: Does Joey know you know?
Me: No.
Cam: I’m on my way.
Cam stayed the entire night, even lulling me to sleep for a few hours. I’ve never felt luckier to have her as a best friend than I did last night, but today, all I feel is guilt because I know things will never be the same for the group of us.
I’m running a little late for school and feel bad for keeping Todd waiting. I always keep my personal life separate from my professional life, and today my personal life got the best of me. When I get into my classroom, I’m relieved it’s dark and that Todd didn’t beat me here. I love tutoring him: he seems so insecure, especially about school, and the growth in his confidence that I’ve seen this year is one of the many reasons I love being a teacher. I’ll be sad when he moves on to high school next year. Working with him this morning is just the thing I need to pull me from the dark could of grief that is looming over me.
I flip on the light to my classroom and set my bag on my desk when something in the back corner catches my attention. “Todd, is that you? Are you alright?
”
He turns in his chair. He is sitting at a desk in the far corner of the class with red puffy eyes that look as though he’s been crying. I rush over to his side and pull him in for a tight hug. His body stiffens at my embrace so I back away and give him some space.
“I asked Sara to go to the end of year dance.” His voice is agitated and monotone.
I didn’t need him to tell me the rest. I can tell from the way he’s acting what her answer was. I reach out and rub his back reassuringly. “I know it hurts when you care about someone and they don’t feel the same.” I try to hide my tears, knowing too well the truth of my words. I know what it feels like to never be good enough for someone else to love.
“She’s mocking me all over Facebook, Ms. Pierce. She’s calling me a nerd and everyone’s agreeing with her. She even tagged me on the post. I thought she liked me. We hung out all the time, playing Minecraft.”
I can’t hold back my anger. “First of all, Todd, a girl who would do that to anyone is not a girl you need in your life anyway. Someone like that is a virus. I know that doesn’t take the pain away, but one day soon you will find someone who will treat you how you deserve to be treated.” Someone like I thought Joey was.
“I can’t face everyone today. The entire school was commenting on her posts. Can you just take me home and not tell my mom, please, just this once?”
“As much as I want to Todd, I can’t.” His disappointment is unbearable. I need to talk to the kids about this without him at school. I need to tell the administration. This is bullying and it will need to be addressed. I know we have a policy in place for this. I stand up and grab my phone. “How about I call your mom and tell her you got sick while I was tutoring you. You’re going to have to tell your mom about this, Todd, but I can buy you some time to figure out how to tell her. What she did is bullying and it’s not alright.”
Todd looks up at me and nods. I dial his mom and am glad when she doesn’t question anything, saying he didn’t seem himself this morning and will be right over to take him home.
Neither of us are quite ourselves today.
When lunchtime rolls around, I’m glad that I only have to spend a few more hours here before going to the seclusion of my parents’ house. Those words seem weird to think, considering spending time with my parents is anything but comfortable, but at least I won’t have to face Kevin until tomorrow. I texted him earlier today and told him that I wasn’t feeling well and would just see him at the funeral.
“Hey, Kit Kat, I brought you Jersey Mike’s number thirteen, and Freedman’s crumb bun for dessert.” Joey’s carefree, innocent voice makes me want to punch him.
In all of my misery, I forgot he was coming for lunch today. It makes me sick to see how easy it is for him to pretend he didn’t just break my heart. He’s probably feeling pretty proud of himself, thinking he’s gotten away with cheating on me.
I shuffle my papers, wishing I could say everything I’ve been practicing since I saw him with that woman last night, but I can’t do it at work. Everyone already knows something’s wrong, and until now, I’ve had everyone believing I’m grieving the loss of Kevin’s mom, rather than the loss of my heart.
“I forgot to call you. I have a meeting in a few minutes. Some trouble with a student being bullied.” I say unable to hide the coldness in my voice. At least I don’t have to lie: I am meeting with several members of the administration to figure out how to handle the Internet bullying of Todd.
I still can’t look up at him; seeing his face will kill me. He walks up behind me and kisses the back of my neck as he embraces me. I take a sharp intake of breath, afraid I might combust with grief. “I miss you. I tried to come by last night but you were asleep.” His voice is raspy and sexy as hell making what was left of my heart crumple to pieces.
Before or after you were done fucking someone else?
I feel as if I’m dying inside the way he’s holding me. “I really have to go. I’m running late.” My voice cracks and I can tell he realizes something’s wrong.
He twirls me around and there’s no way to hide the tears that are about to give me away. His face drops immediately and he wipes a tear away with his thumb. I flinch away, as if his hand was on fire. “Kat, what’s wrong? I didn’t realize you were so upset about everything. Maybe you should have taken today off. We could’ve spent the day together.”
“Ha!” I slip for a moment and then recover, straightening my stance. “Yes, I’m very upset about everything. I really have to go.”
He holds on to my arms and stops me from my quick exit. “Are you mad at me?” The way he looks so innocent makes me want to kick him in the balls. I can’t do this here. I have to get away and deal with this after work.
“Like you said, I’m upset about everything and am already running late.” I lean up and kiss him quickly; there’s no other choice if I don’t want to get in an argument at school. If we do this now, I’ll go Staten Island on his ass.
I break free, and head straight to the principal’s office without looking back once. I hate myself a little when I try to memorize what Joey’s lips felt like in our quick last kiss.
When I get in the car and get on the parkway to head up to Cherry Hill and away from Joey, I send him a text to let a song say to him what I can’t find the strength to.
Me: Please don’t contact me. I’ll contact you when I’m ready. –“Jar of Hearts”
The entire car ride, I listen to that song over and over again, feeling like a fool for letting him play with my love that way.
Joey
“Sad”
What.
The.
Hell.
“Jar of Hearts”? After acting completely cold at lunch today, now she sends me that fucking song? I play with the promise ring I have for her in my pocket that I planned to give to her at lunch, completely confused by what the hell is going on. It doesn’t take long to realize why she’s mad.
Kelly.
Somehow she knows Kelly was at my house last night. It’s not like Kat to jump to conclusions or hold back when she’s been wronged. She’s always the first to call anyone out. If she found a half-naked woman in my house, she would have pummeled her. Kelly must have contacted her and made up some lie, but I can’t call her to ask because I’ve already blocked any way to communicate with her.
I take out my phone and try to call Kat, but I’m sent straight to voicemail. I shake with the fear that something this stupid could ruin everything between us. Do people really break up over bullshit misunderstandings like this? Oh God, why didn’t I just tell her everything last night?
I frantically text her before bolting over to Holden’s to see whether he or Cam know anything.
Me: We need to talk. Nothing happened. NOTHING. I love you and will never, EVER do anything to hurt you. I promised to protect your heart and I always will. Trust me, Kat. Please.
I’m spinning, my head is so fucked up with fear. I have no idea how to handle this. Do I drive over to her parents and drag her back down here? Do I relentlessly call her until she answers?
I leap up the steps to Holden and Cam’s place, and burst through their door without knocking. It seems no one in our neighborhood locks their doors. We all have to change that with crazy people like Kelly in the world.
Holden and Cam are nowhere to be seen, so I run through their house, calling out to them while I check my phone again to see whether Kat has responded yet. Nothing.
A pillow knocks my cell from my hand. Cam stares me down with an infuriated expression and Holden is right behind her with his arms crossed and shaking his head. “Really, dude? I honestly thought better of you.”
Now I’m pissed. They believe the worst. Of course they do. What have I ever done to prove them anything different? I deserve their accusations and I hate myself for it. I just wish it wasn’t so easy for everyone to believe.
I look up at the two of them, feeling more defeated than ever before. I can’t hold back the tears that wel
l in my eyes. “I promise you, I didn’t do anything. I would never hurt Kat. Never.”
“Then why were you smooshing with that half-naked slut last night? She saw you, you know. With her own eyes!” Cam throws another pillow at me before she sits on the couch and eyes me as if I’m the devil.
I want to burst out the door and go to Kat now that I know what she saw. “Listen, when I got home last night, she was in my house, dressed in almost nothing, and threw herself at me. The only time I willingly touched her was to escort her out of my house. I made it clear she is to never contact me again, and blocked her from my phone and social media. I didn’t do anything wrong. I love Kat. I was going to give her this today to show her how much I love her. To show her how much I want to spend the rest of my life with her.” I throw the amethyst ring across the room in frustration.
Holden walks over and pats my back in sympathy, and I think he believes me. Cam isn’t so sure. “I spent the entire night at Jess’s, consoling my heartbroken friend because of you. Whether or not you did anything with that chick last night, these things just shouldn’t happen, Joey. You have to make sure nothing like this happens ever again.”
“How, Cam? I can’t change my past. As much as I wish that there was only ever Kat, you know as much as any of us that sometimes our mistakes are what make us realize something special when we have it. I don’t know if I would love Kat as much as I do, and want to do fucking anything for her, if we didn’t come together when we did.”
“Start by changing your locks.” Holden walks over to the refrigerator, grabs a beer, and hands it to me.
“Yeah, that, and actually lock my door. You guys need to keep yours locked too, you know.” I take a sip of my beer and look at my best friends for advice. “What’s my next move?”
His Jar of Hearts (A Broken Fairy Tale #3) Page 12
