by Reid, B. B.
Vaughn pretended he didn’t hear me when he hopped out and pulled open the sliding door on River’s side before removing him. “Come on.”
Of course, he’d give me an order rather than an explanation.
We entered through the kitchen, and I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but I found the house oddly silent. Even the waves from the beach seemed to be whispering. Vaughn led us through the kitchen and into the living room, where I found every single piece of furniture missing, and my friends waiting.
“Welcome home!”
Of course, River, who had only just stopped crying, started up again. I barely noticed their apologetic cringes as I looked around in awe. The living room hadn’t been left bare. Instead, the furniture had been replaced with decorations to welcome River home.
Blue, green, and silver balloons covered the floor and even floated like centerpieces in each of the four corners. It was the only constant in the room.
The left side of the room had been decorated in what was clearly a nautical theme. Hung between the windows was a large ship wheel and the words Ahoy, Captain River! The small table covered by a navy and white striped cloth held refreshments, which included a three-layered cake in the center that was actually shaped like a ship. The life ring hanging in front read Welcome Home, and there was a banner strung across made of little red anchors.
The right side of the room had been turned into a tiny farm. A cardboard red and white barn along with a green tractor had been erected. There were even real bales of hay in front of yet another short table, but this one held wrapped gifts and cardboard cutouts of sheep, pigs, chickens, cows, and even a dog.
The third and longest wall resembled a football field. A green rug with yard lines, two field goal posts, and footballs at each end adorned the floor. A realistic scoreboard hung from the wall that read #TeamRiverRees on top. White wooden chairs, the only seating in the room, had been placed against the wall below it. Each one had jerseys of varying adult sizes with River’s name hanging from the back, and I knew they were meant to be party favors for our friends.
The fourth and final wall was the shortest since it had been cut out to make an entryway to the kitchen. It was the most confusing of all the themes but not because of the top hats, bow ties, and mustaches decorating the wall. But because of the empty table covered by a black tablecloth.
“So, what exactly is the theme?” I asked to keep from crying. This was more than I expected, more than I deserved. My friends were the best, and I’d been ready to give them all up over my broken heart. I knew now that a piece of it had remained all along and intact—because of them.
Vaughn looked sheepish as he scratched the back of his neck. “We had creative differences.”
“But which one do you like best?” Jamie asked as he swaggered over holding a cane and wearing a black tux, top hat, mustache, and round spectacles with the words Oh, baby on the top of the rim. His mahogany hair had even been slicked back with gel and oil. It was apparent which theme had been his. Bee was dressed identically, even going so far as wearing the mustache. The two of them made an intriguing yet perfect combination.
“Give it a rest, Jameson,” Lou said as she came to stand beside him. I wasn’t at all surprised to she was dressed like Olive Oil, making me immediately search the room for Wren. My eyes nearly fell out of my head when I saw him wearing a black collared shirt, red ribbon tied around his throat, light blue chinos, and a white sailor cap. It was impossible not to shed a few tears after seeing the broody, ex-gangbanger wearing a costume. “Yours doesn’t even make sense. His name is River. Obviously, going full nautical made the most sense.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Ever deadpanned as he joined our circle. “It’s obvious as fuck.”
I almost choked when I realized he was dressed in a rooster costume. I couldn’t help gaping at the former king of Brynwood, who’d made a reputation for being unapproachable. Four wasn’t far behind him, and of course, she wore a white feathered skirt with a white long-sleeve bodysuit, yellow chucks, and a red cone on her head. They were all dressed in costume despite it being the middle of April.
“As opposed to the unoriginal farm animal theme?” Lou sassed back.
“It’s classic.”
“It’s cliché.”
I turned to peer up at Vaughn, who was ignoring them all as he unbuckled River from his car seat. “So, I suppose the football theme was your idea?”
Vaughn glanced at me before shrugging, his lips turning up in a crooked smile. River stopped crying the moment Vaughn lifted him, and I pursed my lips, hoping this wasn’t the beginning of him demanding to be held all the time.
Without explanation, Vaughn disappeared upstairs with River. I was ready to follow him out of curiosity when my father walked up to me and pulled me aside. I hadn’t even realized he was here. Ever’s parents, Evelyn and Thomas, were there as well though they stood on opposite sides of the room. Evelyn was currently engaged in a conversation with Winny, Wren’s grandmother.
“Vaughn did good,” my father said with a nod as he looked around.
I blinked stupidly. I hadn’t even considered the possibility of this being Vaughn’s idea. My stubbornness had made a baby shower impossible, but this more than made up for that. Staring at the mountain of wrapped gifts waiting on Four and Ever’s table, I realized once again how unprepared I was for motherhood. I hadn’t even considered all of the things River would need once he was home. Sweat beaded my brow and upper lip as I ran through the list in my head. It was never-ending.
Right now, all I had was the small supply of diapers and wipes the hospital had sent home with me, a couple of baby bottles, and my breast milk.
“I just want you to know that this doesn’t change anything,” my father told me, drawing my attention back to him and out of the turmoil wreaking havoc in my head. “I’m still proud of you.”
I felt my legs quake hearing that.
“Thanks, Coach.” I had to clear my throat of the raspiness before speaking again. “That means a lot.” It was a simple response despite the emotions running wild inside of me.
“So when the fall comes, I want you back at school, Tyra. Don’t worry about River,” he quickly added when my lips parted in protest. “I’ll take care of my grandson.”
“Dad, it’s not just River. I don’t have the money.”
“I have some savings,” he announced, making me blink. I knew my father’s salary. No matter how much money he had stashed, it couldn’t have been enough to pay for three more years of out-of-state tuition at a private ivy league. “It’s enough to cover you for the rest of your time at Harvard.”
My stomach dipped but not with relief.
I knew without him elaborating that he meant his retirement fund. The one he’d been working for his entire life. He had intended to withdraw every single cent for me, the daughter who’d already disappointed him once by getting knocked up at eighteen and losing her scholarship.
I couldn’t and wouldn’t let him do that.
“We don’t have to decide this now,” I pleaded. I had no intention of taking his money, but immediately blowing off such a loving gesture as if he’d offered me a stick of gum seemed callous. “We’ve got time.”
It was the truth, at least. I still had the entire summer to figure things out.
Before my father could argue, music started playing, and I felt relief flow through me for the distraction. I felt like throwing up, and it wasn’t because the song playing was fucking “Baby Shark.”
“Jamie, can’t you play something else?” Four complained.
“No, I can’t, doo doo doo doo doo doo,” he sang.
And so the party began.
It lasted the rest of the afternoon and into the evening despite there not being alcohol. I scratched my head at that because it wasn’t like there were other children present. Vaughn had reappeared at some point without our son, and I forced myself to stay put despite my need to check on River myself. I admitted that
if not my heart, I trusted Vaughn to take care of our son.
Wren’s grandmother was the first to bow out, Evelyn and Thomas were second, and my father was the last at a quarter past nine.
“For fuck’s sake, I never thought they’d leave,” Jamie said once the door closed behind my father. He sauntered over to the mysterious empty table, lifted the black cloth, and began setting out the beer and booze he’d stashed underneath. In no time, Jamie had the table looking like a minibar. He then switched the music over but kept the volume low before pouring everyone a shot. When he got to me, I shook my head. “Oh, come on, Ty-baby,” he whined. “I saw all that titty milk you stashed in the fridge. By the time you need to pump again, it will be out of your system.”
Only Jamie would make a valid point while being obnoxiously crude.
I took the shot from him, making him whoop. Vaughn frowned at me, but for once, I didn’t care about the rules. Obviously, I wouldn’t get wasted with my newborn sleeping upstairs. He could relax.
Too many shots later, Jamie made a liar out of me.
I wasn’t falling over or wearing a lampshade, but I was pretty fucking close. When was the last time I let go? Could it have been when Vaughn last had his dick in me? Even when he’d gone down on me a week ago, I’d still been afraid. Letting go meant letting my guard down, and everyone in this room knew where that would lead.
Around two a.m., when River woke up for the third time that night, our friends finally called it quits. None of them had given me a chance to ask for a ride home. I shrugged it off. My mind was too imbibed with booze to worry about the consequences. At least now I could help Vaughn clean up before heading home. He’d gone above and beyond. It was the least I could do.
I located the trash bags and started dumping shit inside without paying much attention to what I was throwing away. Perhaps, I’d overestimated how bombed I was, or maybe I was just that eager to pass out.
“Why don’t we leave this for the morning?” Vaughn suggested, taking away the stuffed animal and the trash bag I almost tossed it in. He’d been upstairs putting River back to sleep. “Come on.” He jerked his head toward the stairs, and I followed him for some reason.
Halfway up, I snorted. “I’m going to be a terrible mom, you know.” Vaughn peered over his shoulder, expecting an explanation for my randomness. “I didn’t even remember to get all the things River would need once he came home.” Stopping, I plopped down on the third step from the landing. “God, what am I going to do?” I moaned before peering into the darkness below as if it held the answers. Vaughn was so silent I’d forgotten he was there until he lifted me. I didn’t speak until he carried me into the master bedroom. “Why are we in here?”
“Because you need to sleep.”
“So, why are you in here?” Despite the third degree, I didn’t fight him when he wrestled my jeans down my legs and removed my shirt. It was the least sexy he’d ever undressed me, and yet I was blushing anyway.
“To make sure that you do.”
I didn’t argue when he pulled back the covers, indicating I get in. I just stared at the sheets, trying to remember why my feet wouldn’t move and why the thought of sleeping in this bed, Vaughn’s bed, made me want to throw up. Yawning, I gave up a moment later, stumbling and fumbling as I crawled inside and pulled the covers up to my chin.
“Where’s River?” I asked, even as my eyes were already drifting closed.
If Vaughn answered, I didn’t hear it.
The next morning, I found a glass of water and aspirin waiting for me on the nightstand. Sitting up with a groan, I swallowed the pills and downed the entire glass, but even that proved to be exhausting. I then looked around the room, my blood turning to ice in my veins when I realized where I was and whose bed I was in. I wasn’t sure how long I glowered at the spot on the floor where Selena had knelt before tossing back the covers. I gasped as soon as the cool air touched my bare skin.
I was only wearing my bra and panties.
The clothes that I’d worn from the hospital were hanging over a chair in the corner. I rushed over to them before shoving them on. I knew by the lack of soreness between my thighs and the marks Vaughn always left on my skin that drinking too much had been the only mistake I’d made last night. It didn’t help my mood, though. Nothing short of getting out of this house would do.
Downstairs, I found River and Vaughn already awake and watching cartoons. Well…Vaughn was. The living room had been cleared of all signs of the party. Vaughn had obviously been up for a while.
“Hey,” I greeted, albeit a bit sourly. “What time is it?”
“Ten after noon,” he announced, making my heart beat a little faster. I’d slept for ten hours. Vaughn didn’t seem startled by me sneaking up on him. In fact, he hadn’t bothered to take his eyes off the TV. I kicked myself for sleeping so late. Thankfully, River didn’t look like he’d suffered.
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
He shrugged. “What for?”
“So I could take care of River?”
Losing his patience, he finally turned his head away from Blue’s Clues. “As you can see, I’ve done that.”
Running my fingers through my hair, I told myself to get a grip as shame filled me. I wasn’t upset because of River, and yet I was making it about him. He looked perfectly content, lying in his father’s arms. It was Vaughn and my sister that had caused the slow slip of my sanity. How could he put me in that bed and in that room after what he’d done with her in there? How could he think I’d be okay reliving it?
Rather than ask, I forced myself to take my own advice about not changing the past and let it go. “I’m sorry. Thank you for looking after River.”
Vaughn looked down his nose at me, telling me I’d somehow put my foot in my mouth again. “You don’t need to thank me for taking care of my son.”
“Fine. Thank you for letting me sleep in. Now that I’m awake, though, we should get going.” I paused, chewing on my lip. “Can you give us a ride home?”
Vaughn stood from the couch, but the relief I felt was short-lived. “You are home.” He started for the stairs with River, and by the time he reached them, I shook free of my shock.
“What do you mean?” I squeaked as I trailed him upstairs. I hated that my voice didn’t sound stronger. “We can’t stay here.”
Vaughn entered one of the spare bedrooms, and I followed. What I found inside—the walls painted to look like raging waves—took my breath away, and I forgot all about the bomb Vaughn dropped in my lap.
He’d turned the spare bedroom into a nursery.
Everything River would need was right inside this room. There was a crib, a changing table fully stocked, and even a rocking chair in the corner. Vaughn crossed the room and placed River inside the gray crib before ushering me out and shutting the door. I wanted to open it again and admire it some more. It was perfect. I almost felt guilty for wanting to take River away.
“Why can’t you stay?”
As patiently as I could, I explained why that would be a huge mistake. Nothing good could come of it. “Because that’s something parents do when they’re together, which you and I are not. We’re barely civil, Vaughn.”
“It’s not a big deal. I can sleep in the third bedroom.”
“And where do I sleep?” I challenged.
“The master bedroom is bigger and closer to River. You’ll be comfortable in there.”
“You mean the one where I caught you and my sister together?”
Vaughn’s lips snapped shut at the reminder. I could tell he hadn’t even thought of that. It was almost like my sister had ceased to exist to him. Stupidly, the thought filled my belly with warmth.
“Then I’ll take the master,” he continued to bargain. “You can take the spare.”
“But that’s what you’re not getting!” I exploded. I couldn’t just feel the sob clogging my throat. I could hear it trying to break free. “I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be trapped inside of
these walls and reminded of what you did!” I’d needed alcohol last night just to bear it.
For some reason, I kept that part to myself. It had all been for River even though he’d slept the entire party. Secretly, I admitted that I hadn’t wanted to put my feelings before my friends and family yet again. Not after all the trouble they’d gone through for River and me.
So I drowned myself in alcohol to hide the drowning I felt inside.
Vaughn glowered down at me for a long time. If he felt remorse for the fumble he’d made, he didn’t show it. Nostrils flaring, he finally spoke. “Then do what you want, but River stays here.”
I didn’t follow him when he pushed past me for the stairs.
I snagged the keys to the hideous minivan the moment Vaughn dropped his guard. Some detectives had shown up to speak to him, and although I wanted to know the reason why, I realized this would be my only chance at freedom.
Technically, he wasn’t holding me hostage, but he also knew I wasn’t going anywhere without River. It was a clever move. To keep me captive without breaking the law.
I had the baby buckled in and was speeding away by the time Vaughn had caught on. From the rearview mirror, I watched him stare at us, driving away until he disappeared from view. Judging by his scowl, I knew he’d make me pay. He could try, but I wasn’t about to let him trap me in a beautiful glass house on a beach like I was Julia fucking Roberts.
I found myself driving aimlessly around Blackwood Keep. My father’s house and our friends were the first places he’d look. It wasn’t like I planned to go on the lam or anything. I just needed a peaceful place to think.
Somehow, I ended up at Macchicino’s of all places. River and I snagged one of the last empty tables, and with pen in hand, I inhaled the scent of coffee beans as I stared hopelessly at job applications. Filling them out felt like giving up, a betrayal of the dream I’d worked hard for, but what choice did I have? I couldn’t let my dad drain his savings, and with my GPA, I had no hope of getting another scholarship, not one that could cover my entire tuition. I had to accept the fact that I wasn’t going back to Harvard.
