by Erin Snihur
Don’t think about them, Kasin. Remember Amira has faith in you to stay strong.
“That won’t be happening,” Kasin growls and turns away from the gardens when his wife and her group disappear under the balcony, back inside the palace. Ever if I have anything to do with it, Kasin inwardly thinks. It isn’t safe to bring children into this world.
“What, you don’t want children? What about heirs?” Tariq laughs and asks.
Kasin shakes his head and watches as the sun sets over the horizon as he shrugs, “Masarat would fall to one of my father’s distant cousins. Children only lead to pain and suffering. Not only that, but they become targets for our enemies and we are not short on those, my friend. Even our wives are at risk.”
Tariq seems disappointed by Kasin’s words as he sighs, “What about Amira? Does she agree with your decision?”
Shrugging again, Kasin looks down in the direction that his wife disappeared, “Amira knows the dangers. She’ll learn to accept it. After our five year separation, I think we both need to focus on our marriage instead of producing an heir.”
“Children are not something I want in my future,” Kasin continues absentmindedly, driving the statement home.
His friend doesn’t look like he believes Kasin. He doesn’t care. Kasin’s future is clear. All he needs is Amira and his country to be content and lead a full life.
20
Four days until Christmas…
Amira had heard all of it. Every last word her husband had growled to Tariq on the balcony above them. Her face had grown paler with every word. Sophie’s eyes are wide and her bottom lip trembles as she tries to reassure Amira.
“Amira, I’m so-so⎼” Sophie begins, but Amira raises her hand to stop her new friend. She doesn’t need anyone’s pity.
Raising her chin, Amira frowns and presses a hand to her flat stomach, “I lived without Kasin in my life for five years. My child and I can do so as well for as long as is needed.”
Sophie hesitates before nodding and glaring at Leetah who warily watches from nearby, “Her Highness is tired. Please escort her to her chambers.”
Forcing a smile on her face that she is sure appears as a grimace, Amira murmurs, “Thank you, Sophie. I’m sorry for making your holiday uncomfortable.”
“Nonsense. Rest, please,” Sophie orders softly.
As the maid motions for Amira to follow her and she follows along, Amira hears Sophie hiss at Abel, “Your Sheik deserves a swift kick in the balls.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Abel mutters in agreement.
Hand finding her stomach once more, Amira sighs, I guess it’s just you and me little one.
Kasin and Tariq had just entered Tariq’s study from the connecting balcony when Sophie storms through the doors, with Abel hot on her heels. Kasin had never seen his friend so angry. Sophie, on the other hand, resembles a Greek goddess as she flays her fiery gaze upon Kasin. Tariq moves forward, his arms open slightly for his girlfriend.
“Sophie, what’s wro⎼,” but before Tariq can finish his question, Sophie pushes past him, only to raise her hand and slap Kasin across the face.
Silence ensues around the room as Kasin’s face swings back from the force of her slap. Sharp pain slices across his face and the warmth from her strike blooms across his cheek. Kasin will bruise, but not by much. Sophie’s hand, while strong, is not strong enough to do damage.
Turning his head to face her, Kasin glares down at her, his eyes like ice as he takes her in. Sophie’s glare has not diminished and there isn’t an ounce of fear in her eyes. Kasin inwardly praises her bravery, but it came at a cost.
“Isn’t it a crime to strike a royal?” Kasin growls low and slowly enunciates every word. His words still do not instill fear in her as she raises her chin stubbornly.
“There is nothing you can do to me that would shock me, your Highness,” Sophie hisses vehemently, “You are a horrible man and do not deserve a woman like Amira.”
Tariq stiffens behind them and steps forward, grabbing Sophie by the elbow, “What are you talking about, Sophie?”
Keeping her glare on Kasin, Sophie raises her chin stubbornly a bit higher, “Your wife loves you so much. All she wants is to have a happy life with you. And you go and ruin it all in one night!”
Kasin’s temper rises as he growls each word, “What. Are. You. Talking. About.”
“Amira is pregnant, Kasin,” Abel reveals behind their little group, his face serious and equally as upset as Sophie.
Silence ensues at his friend’s interruption and Kasin looks from Sophie whose gaze belays the truth and Tariq who stares back at him in disbelief.
“Amira heard everything we said?” Tariq finally asks in shock.
Sophie nods and shakes her head as she stares up at Kasin, in disappointment, “After everything she’s told me, I had thought you had changed, for the better. But you’re still a coward.”
“Sophie!” Tariq yells in admonishment.
Kasin’s mind is running rampant as he thinks back to the last few days. Amira’s sickness and then the doctor’s behavior after her visit with Amira. Amira’s lack of interest in wine or any drink at dinner since they’d arrived in Masarat made sense all of a sudden.
“I have to go to her,” Kasin states out loud, not really caring who hears, but once again Sophie pushes her way in front of him.
“I shouldn’t let you go after her,” Sophie hisses and Kasin inwardly thinks, how will you stop me, thief?
“But I know you love her and she you, so I will allow it, but if you ruin this for her, I will kill you. And it will not be an easy death,” Sophie continues with a hiss and ends her speech with a cold smile.
Impressed by her strength, Kasin turns to Tariq who stares at him with a closed off expression. Giving nothing away in his own expression, Kasin murmurs, “You’ve chosen well.”
With that, Kasin stalks out of the room, with Abel following at his heels. Kasin only stops when they are well enough away from the study and the loud arguing that sounds as Sophie and Tariq argue over what had just happened.
Glaring at Abel, Kasin hisses, praying none of the staff are nearby to hear his words, “How long have you known my wife is pregnant?”
Raising his hands in peace, Abel’s eyes widen as he answers, “After she heard your declaration, she was talking with Sophie about it. I overheard. It was shocking to say the least.”
Accepting his answer, Kasin spins and marches in the direction of their chambers. He needs to speak to his wife and find out what in the world is happening and how he can fix it. Preferably quickly. This cannot be how their perfect Christmas would end.
Stopping before the door, Kasin curses under his breath when the doorknob twists and encounters the lock. Fists clenching, Kasin raises his hand to pound on the door, only for Abel to reach up and stop him by grasping his wrist tightly in his own hand.
Turning his gaze on Abel, Kasin raises an eyebrow in confusion as Abel smirks lightly, “Don’t lose your temper. She’s pregnant. I’ve heard there can be complications during the early months if there is unnecessary stress.”
Complications. Another word for miscarriage. Or worse. Kasin’s mother had had many children and now only one survived. Kasin. He couldn’t imagine putting Amira through the loss of her child. Your child, as well, remember? A dark voice whispers in the corner of Kasin’s mind.
When Abel’s hand drops from Kasin’s wrist, he shakes out the tension as best as possible before knocking softly on the locked door. Seconds pass before the sound of the lock is heard and Kasin inwardly tenses once more at the sight of Amira’s maid, Leetah peeking out while still keeping the door closed. Behind her, the lights in the chamber are out and Kasin can make out the sound of crying.
Amira. His wife is crying. Because of him. Shit. When Kasin moves out of habit to enter the room, Leetah remains in place, the door between them, like an unmoving object.
“Let me in. I must speak with my wife,” Kasin growls, furious at the youn
g girl’s impudence.
Gazing behind her, Leetah sighs and slips through the slight crack in the door. As she closes it behind her, while still standing in front of it like a guard who is protecting a vault of jewels, she levels Kasin with an impudent glare.
“Her Highness does not wish to be disturbed. She is resting,” Leetah explains. Kasin can tell what this girl must think of him. In this moment, no one, not even this maid shall keep him from his wife.
Snapping his fingers at Abel, Kasin motions to Leetah. Before the young girl can protest, Abel is before him and pulling Leetah up and over his shoulder. Watching with amusement as Abel shrugs Leetah over his shoulder as she cries out in protest and begins cursing him in Arabic.
Winking at Kasin, Abel begins walking down the hallway, no doubt to his own chambers, “I’ll keep her occupied. Don’t be stupid.”
Nodding, Kasin waits until they’ve disappeared, shaking his head as Leetah continues banging her small fist against Abel’s back and cursing his name.
I should give her a raise for such devotion to my wife, Kasin inwardly ponders before turning to face the now unguarded door.
Face your fears, Kasin. Show them you are no coward, Kasin’s inner thoughts order.
21
Four days until Christmas…
Amira had heard the whispering of words at the door. Leetah was trying to scare away whoever had come to her door. Probably Kasin. When Leetah exits the room and closes the door, Amira is thankful. The darkness helps mask her tears, though the silence grows tedious as her sobs soften.
Amira flinches when the door opens once again. She isn’t sure how she can tell Leetah nicely to leave her alone. It is what she wants, but the young girl is determined to cheer Amira up.
“I’m fine, Leetah. Could you just go and leave the lights off?” Amira mutters, her voice cracked and clogged with emotion as she wipes her nose with a tissue.
“I can’t do that, zawja,” Kasin’s deep and silky voice answers through the darkness and Amira instantly sits up, staring in the direction of the door. She can’t see her husband, but she can now smell him and sense his movements as he moves closer to the bed.
With a flick of the bedside lamp, Amira stares wide eyed at her husband. His hair is ruffled and in the dull light, it looks like half of his face is red. Had he and Tariq gotten into a fight? Or maybe Abel? It is his eyes that halt her assessment. Her husband’s eyes are full of grief and obvious anger.
Still staring into his face, Amira wipes away the tears that are making tracks on her cheeks as she asks, “What happened to your cheek?”
As if just realizing what she was talking about, Kasin’s hand comes up to touch his face and he winces slightly as he mutters, “Sophie and I had a disagreement. She won.”
“You and Sophie?” Amira asks in alarm and rises from the bed as she scans Kasin from head to toe, looking for other injuries as she asks, “But why?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Kasin mutters and then his eyes sharpen on her as he scans her from head to toe, “Are you alright?”
“Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Amira lied.
Kasin sighs and pulls her to sit back on the bed. His hands hold hers as he squeezes slightly and caresses her pulse with his thumb. Tingles shoot up her arms and down her spine. Even when she’s angry at the man, Amira cannot stop her body and minds impulses to want her husband.
“I know, zawja,” Kasin plainly says.
Eyes wide, Amira opens her mouth to speak, but Kasin raises his hand, stopping her from speaking or asking any further questions. He smiled slightly as she remains silent and watches as he raises her left hand to his lips and kisses her knuckles.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the baby back home?” Kasin finally asks, his eyes full of pain.
Shaking her head, Amira gazes down at their joined hands and her eyes well up with fresh tears, “I was trying to find a good way to tell you. Leetah suggested I wrap up all of the pregnancy tests the doctor made me take for Christmas. She claims that’s how people in America reveal their pregnant to their partners. She showed me videos and the fathers all seemed so happy.”
“Then I heard you and Tariq talking on the balcony. I didn’t know what to think so I came back to the rooms to be alone,” Amira continues and sighs at how pathetic she sounds.
Kasin shakes his head, “I shouldn’t have said what I said.”
Letting out a sarcastic laugh, Amira shakes her head as well and stands, pulling her hands out of Kasins, “You meant every word of it, Kasin. Accept it. You don’t want children and you especially don’t want this child. You can’t just suddenly change your mind after finding out your wife is actually pregnant.”
Kasin sighs and stands as well, pacing in front of their bed as Amira watches on, hugging herself, to keep the pain hidden, instead of letting it out in a fit of sobs and hysteria.
“Fine. I didn’t think I wanted children. But when I found out, well, all I could think about is you. You and that baby. My baby. Half mine and half yours. A little girl with perfect, violet eyes and white blonde hair or a little boy with dark hair and his mother’s violet eyes,” Kasin admits, his eyes wide with fear, “I thought I feared that perfect little cluster of cells growing inside you right now, but I was wrong. I feared who or what would come from our child being born. I feared our child growing up without us because of our enemies or worse, that our child would be taken from us as quickly as my family was taken from me.”
“Oh, Kasin,” Amira mutters, her heart filling with pain at the thought of their child being harmed in anyway. Shaking her head, she cautiously steps up to him and pulls him against her in a tight hug, “We can’t predict or stop the future from happening. We must enjoy each day we have with each other. Nothing is certain.”
Taking her chin in his hand and raising it up so that her violet eyes might stare into his, Kasin murmurs, “Then I promise to love and protect you both with my life and by any means. For as long as I shall live.”
Kasin kneels at her feet when he whispers the last words and presses his large hand to her flat stomach, “Hello, little bean. I am your father. I am very scared of saying those words, but you should know that I love your mother and I will love you forever.”
Tilting her head, Amira runs her fingers through Kasin’s hair as he continues to murmur to her belly. Finally, when he finishes and just continues caressing her stomach, Amira murmurs.
“I’m scared too.”
Gazing up at her, Kasin kisses her stomach over her blouse before crooning back, “Then we shall be scared together, zawja.”
Smiling, Amira nods and presses her hand over Kasins hand, “Merry Christmas, husband.”
“And what an eventful Christmas it has been,” Kasin smiles back as he presses one last kiss to her stomach, warming Amira from head to toe.
Next Christmas, little bean, you will spend it with us, Amira inwardly sighs, forever.
Hattan
Sheik Tariq and Sophie
22
Five days until Christmas...
Sheik Tariq Abadi watches in amusement as his girlfriend, Sophie Marks flutters about the room, hanging green garland on the window sills and over the fireplace. Behind her, a team of servant’s rush to aid her. Although Sophie, being the independent woman, she is, waves them off, intent on placing a few snowmen decorations in just the right place by herself.
When she steps back to admire her work, Tariq makes his presence known by clearing his throat, gaining Sophie and the other servant’s attention.
Smiling at the wide eyes staring back at him, Tariq steps into the room awash with Christmas cheer as he speaks, “Amira and Kasin will be here soon. Shouldn’t you be resting?”
Shrugging, Sophie motions around her, “Do you think all of these holiday decorations just get put up by themselves?”
Smiling indulgently at Sophie, Tariq takes her hand and pulls her close as he nods to the servants who stand at a respectful distance back, “The servants
could help you more, you know? You don’t have to do everything yourself.”
Raising her chin stubbornly, Sophie pouts, “I haven’t done everything.”
And then, as if searching for a retort, her eyes brighten and she grins, “We haven’t decorated the tree yet. I was saving that for the others.”
Tariq laughs softly and turns to the servants, “Thank you for all your help in decorating the palace. Could you give us a moment?”
At their departure, Tariq clutches Sophie’s chin and envelopes her lips with his kiss. At her moan, he pulls away, grinning when Sophie’s eyes open with a daze and appear full with desire.
Swiping his thumb across her bottom lip, Tariq murmurs, “Marry me, allasu alsaghir.”
Seconds pass before Sophie’s eyes widen as if only just realizing what he said and she quickly pushes him away, scoffing at him as she does. Turning back to the fireplace to fiddle with the snowmen figurines, Sophie mutters, “Why do you tease me?”
Laughing, Tariq comes up behind her and presses a kiss to her neck, “Me? I think you are mistaken, my love, it is you who have been teasing me and denying my proposals for these last few months.”
In fact, Tariq had asked Sophie to marry him many times and still she refused, claiming she wasn’t ready.
Tariq continues, “But if you wish for me to cease my proposals, I shall do so. I wouldn’t want you to become annoyed or unhappy with my attention.”
With that, Tariq storms out of the room, ignoring the pained gasp he hears at his back.
Sophie watches in shock as Tariq exits the formal receiving room. Eyes welling with unshed tears, she turns to face the undecorated Christmas tree. Her heart pounds and her lips still tingle from Tariq’s kiss.
