I thought about that, and he was right. Lake didn’t know me well enough to be afraid. In the four years I’ve been going to Windsor, I’ve lost my shit a time or two, so they’ve seen what could happen if anyone ever crossed me. They were wise to be afraid because they’ve seen the fallout from getting on my bad side. Lake’s never seen that side of me. She didn’t know how bad it could get.
It was like watching the news and hearing about a tornado ripping through a town; you knew it was bad, but without having experienced it firsthand, you really had no clue.
And Lake had no clue.
“She just doesn’t really know what I’m capable of,” I replied. “That’s the problem. She thinks I’m just fucking around or bullying her, and I’m not.” I looked at each guy in the room. “I’ll burn this entire fucking place to the ground if this goes badly.”
“If it goes badly?” Chance echoed. “Dude, I’m fairly certain it’s already going badly.”
“Yeah, R.J., you told her you were going to hit up another girl,” Mad joined in. “What the fuck, man?”
“She kept lying about feeling anything for me,” I said, doing my best to defend something that couldn’t be defended. “I was just proving her wrong.”
Dash stood and went to get himself another beer. After grabbing one, he went to go stand near the window. Pushing it open, he pulled out his pack of cigarettes, lit one, and inhaled like it was his life’s blood. But I didn’t blame him. He could probably see the same thing Mad could see. Dash probably knew I was close to losing it, too.
“Well, what’s done is done,” Dash said after exhaling, stating the obvious. “What we need to figure out is what do to next.”
Chance’s brows shot up towards the sky. “If he wants any chance of that girl loving him back, then he needs to beg for some damn forgiveness,” he retorted. “That’s what’s to do next.”
I side-eyed him. “I’m not begging for forgiveness,” I informed him. “While what I did was shit, Lake shouldn’t have gotten in the ring with me. She might not know what I’m capable of, but she still knows who I am.”
“So, if you’re not going to beg for forgiveness, then what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to give her some time to cool down.” I looked over at Chance as he scoffed. “Do you mind?”
“That you’re making the biggest mistake of your life? Yeah, R.J., I do mind,” Chance shot back. “Why in the hell would you give her time to cool off? Time to cool off equals time to exact revenge or file a restraining order.”
“Would one even go through in this town?” Dash asked, still smoking his cigarette.
Chance’s head twisted toward him. “That’s not the point, Dash,” he bit out. Then he looked around at all of us. “A lion does not walk away from a wounded gazelle, giving it a chance to get away or nurse itself back to health. He goes in for the kill, gentlemen.”
Maddox cocked his head. “Dude, make up your mind,” he said. “Is R.J. supposed to go for her throat or beg for forgiveness?”
“The girl is upset, confused, and hurt,” Chance recited. “If R.J. goes to her now, while she’s an emotional wreck, he can manipulate her feelings in his favor.”
“Fuck, dude,” Dash choked out. “That’s some cold fucking shit, right there.”
Chance arched a brow. “Yeah, well, winning requires some cold fucking shit sometimes.”
Yeah, Chance could never be mistaken for a weakling. But then, none of us could. Dash wasn’t really shocked at what Chance had said, more so that Chance was the one who said it. Chance was the most easy-going out of us all. Even some of the younger kids came off more seriously than Chance did, so his words were a bit intense in contrast to Chance’s usual demeanor.
“He’s got a point,” Maddox joined in. “I think giving her time is a bad idea.” He shook his head. “What does that accomplish when you’ve already claimed her?”
“If I go to her now, she’s going to fight me until one of us damages the other beyond repair, and it’s not going to be me,” I explained. “Giving her time to cool off gives her the false impression of choice. If she’s cooled off, she can convince herself that she’s choosing to talk to me, even though I know better.” I jerked my head towards Chance. “Like he said, if there’s any chance of her loving me back, she’s got to believe she’s got choices. She’s got to believe she chose me.”
“Christ, you’re a manipulating bastard,” Dash chuckled as he made his way back to the recliner, his cigarette finished.
“And you’re not?” I fired back. “Because that shit with Eden didn’t exactly seem casual.”
Dash grinned and it wasn’t a happy expression. “Let’s just say she’s lucky I live in Port Lucia.”
“Oh, that’s just fucking great,” Chance griped. “How in the fuck did we go from not giving a fuck to having girl problems?”
My brows drew downward. “You guys have girl problems?”
Maddox smirked. “I have zero girl problems,” he remarked. “Other than leaving Tina unsatisfied because you went off the goddamn rails, I’m good.”
“Yeah, well, I was about to go look for a bedroom before you assholes ruined my night,” Chance grumbled.
Dash laughed. “Since when do you take the time to find a bedroom?”
Chance flipped him off.
“Well, since none of us are getting laid tonight, how about some COD?” Maddox suggested.
Call of Duty it was.
Chapter 20
Lake~
No matter how much I wished it, I couldn’t put this night back. I couldn’t pretend it hadn’t happened or that I’d never met Ramsey fucking Reed Jr.
Once we made it inside the house, Eden had gone to take a shower, while I had headed towards the guest bathroom to take one of my own. But while her shower took all of twenty minutes, I had stayed in the shower until the water had run cold.
I was a mess.
And now, sitting on Eden’s bed, a box of tissue between us, I did my best to explain while she did her best just to listen.
“I’m so in over my head, Eden,” I told her. “I mean, Christ, I slapped the guy.” I shook my head. “I’ve never struck another person in all my life.”
Eden winced. “Well, he did deserve it,” she said, hoping to ease my whirlwind of emotions.
“But why was I surprised?’ I asked. “This is Ramsey Reed Jr. we’re talking about. Anyone and everyone knows the guy is ruthless. Why…”
Eden shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe he’s just been going easy on you, so you weren’t expecting how much of a prick he really could be,” she suggested.
“I’m scared to like him, Eden,” I finally confessed. “I’m…I’m so out of my league here. What would I even do as Ramsey Reed Jr.’s girlfriend? I mean…talk about pressure.”
Her face softened as she reached over and gave my leg a reassuring squeeze. “Maybe he doesn’t want you to do anything, Lake,” she replied. “Maybe he just wants you to be his girlfriend.”
My eyes widened. “Eden, I don’t own diamonds,” I pointed out. “I don’t carry designer purses, or wear runway heels. For Pete’s sake, we’re seniors in high school and still ride the school bus because we can’t afford cars. Talk about dating beneath your station.”
“Stop that,” she chided. “If Ramsey was looking for a girlfriend who wore diamonds and tiaras, he would have picked someone from Windsor.” She reached out to squeeze my leg again. “But he didn’t. He chose you, Lake.” Eden let out a soft sigh. “For whatever reason, Reed picked you.”
“And that’s the problem,” I replied softly. “I don’t know what that reason is, and…this could be one big joke, for all I know.”
“Lake, that scene tonight was not a joke,” she replied. “Reed looked unhinged.” She shook her head. “You can’t fabricate that kind of anger.”
“I’m struggling with it not making sense,” I admitted. “It doesn’t make sense that Ramsey would be interested in me. It just doesn’t.”
>
She didn’t comment for a long moment before finally asking, “What are you going to do?”
“I honestly don’t know.” And I didn’t.
I had no idea what to do next. Tonight felt like a breakup, but how ridiculous did that sound? We weren’t even together. I’ve only had three encounters with the guy, and all three of them have been disasters. And he’s threatened me all three times. What kind of masochist did that make me? To be attracted to a guy who’s done nothing but run roughshod over me was insane.
But I couldn’t ignore how torn up I’d felt when he had mentioned Erica. The first time he had mentioned her, my heart had skipped at the seemingly show of loyalty. But the second time he had mentioned her, not so much.
And what was even crazier was that I had felt a jealousy I hadn’t even felt with Curt. Curt’s cheating had hurt my feelings, but not as much as it had hurt my pride. I had been humiliated more than I’d been heartbroken. But with Ramsey, it hadn’t been my pride that had suffered at his cruel remark. It had been my feelings that had taken the punch, and that terrified me. I didn’t want to like Ramsey.
But I did.
I did, and I didn’t know what to do about it.
I grabbed another tissue and blew my nose. I was crying over a guy who…hell, I had no idea what this was, but I was crying over it. Over him.
“Maybe he’ll…maybe he’s mad enough to leave me alone now,” I suggested hopefully. Though a part of me balk at this madness ending and never seeing Ramsey again, I still had a functioning brain, and it was telling me this was all for the best. We weren’t equipped to date a guy like Ramsey. Hell, even his friends gave off an aura of power and strength. They had taken command of Tina, Kira, and even Eden like they knew they could.
They took.
That’s what they did. They took, and you were lucky if that’s all they did.
“Lake…” Eden let out a soft sigh. “…I…I don’t think Reed’s done with you. I don’t think this is it.”
Suddenly, I didn’t want to talk about Ramsey anymore. I didn’t want to wallow in feelings I couldn’t dissect. I didn’t want to worry about someone who no one could control, least of all me.
I wiped my face, and took a deep breath, and did the only thing I could do right now.
I deflected.
“So, you wanna explain that comment Dash made about you guys hooking up?”
Eden choked out a laugh. “What a crazy night, huh?”
I arched a brow. “That’s not an answer.” She let out a happy laugh, and I was so grateful it was a happy one and not a regretful one. “Do you like him?”
“I don’t even know the guy, Lake,” she snorted. “I liked being with him. And the guy sure knows what to do with his lips and hands, but he could have been any guy tonight.” She shrugged a shoulder. “I was feeling frisky, and he was there.”
I wasn’t buying it.
While Eden was your classic social butterfly, and she liked to date casually, I knew she didn’t get busy with guys willy-nilly. Eden was a making out kind of girl. She didn’t heavy pet unless she’s been dating the guy a while. So, if Dash Marlow had his hands in places reserved for the fifth date, something more was going on here.
“So, you letting him get as far as he got was just…you being horny?” I asked, knowing it wasn’t entirely the truth.
Eden grinned. “Well, you saw him kiss me, right?” I nodded. “Well, after Reed dragged you behind the shed, Dash had secluded us behind one of the oak trees in Keri’s backyard, and it was dark enough to get reckless.”
My eyes widened. “How reckless?”
She chewed on her bottom lip, but it wasn’t in embarrassment. She was grinning like the cat who just ate the canary. “Reckless enough that he hadn’t been lying when he said it was more than just a little under-the-shirt action.”
I was truly surprised. This wasn’t like Eden, even if she’d been drinking.
“Wow.”
She nodded. “Wow, indeed,” she laughed.
“Are you…are you going to look him up on social media? Try to keep in touch?”
She let out an unladylike snort. “Hell no,” she huffed. “I’m not looking to be Dash Marlow’s Sands Cove booty call, no matter how hot he is.”
“Why does it have to be a booty call?”
Her brows shot up. “Do you really see Dash Marlow as the commitment type? Please,” she scoffed.
“But…we don’t know anything about him,” I pointed out. “He could be?”
Eden shrugged. “I don’t know if he is or if he isn’t, but I’m not interested enough to put in the effort to find out.”
“Eden, the guy is freakin’ gorgeous,” I told her, in case she’d forgotten that fact in the past couple of hours. “I mean, like…stunning.”
“Yeah, but so is Reed, and you’re running from the guy like he’s got the plague,” she countered. “Looks aren’t everything.”
“Yeah, but Ramsey’s crazy,” I reminded her. “Dash might not be.”
Eden laughed. “My money is on all of them being crazy, Lake. Rumors of what a tight knit group they are suggests they’d have to all be crazy to get along the way they do.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I conceded.
She reached over and gave my leg a light pat. “Look, how about we sleep in tomorrow, play series binge roulette, and watch whatever show wins through Sunday? You can call your parents and ask them if you can stay tomorrow night, too. Reed might look for you at home, but I don’t think he’d come here.”
“I don’t think he’s going to look for me anywhere,” I told her. “But I like your plan, nonetheless.”
She gave me a sad smile. “Everything’s going to be okay, Lake,” she lied. “You’ll see.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” I lied back.
Chapter 21
Ramsey~
Everyone was here, and I was doing my best to leave my shitty mood back in Sands Cove.
It’s been a struggle, though.
We were all gathered at Uncle Deke and Aunt Delaney’s house, and it was a good thing they had the mansion and space for it. Even my mom’s childhood friends were here with their spouses, though that was rare. While they were always welcomed, life didn’t always line our lives up to have the same day off or free of obligation.
Sally Allerman, Henry Ricker, and Scott French grew up with Mom in Hantover. They had all lived in the same trailer park, and Mom had stayed tight with them all through college and marriage to Dad. All three worked for RMM, and that was something I’d always admired about Mom. She was loyal to the people she cared about.
Doing the math, there were thirty of us here, and while the noise was up there, it was joyful noise. This was family. This was what it was all about. This is was what loyalty looked like. We weren’t all blood related, but we were related as close as blood.
However, the problem with a big family was that there was nowhere to hide. And I knew I looked tired, what with getting no sleep last night, and my acting skills sucked. My black mood was shining through, no matter how much I tried to hide it.
Case in point: Dad pulling me aside to talk.
“You have to give me something to tell your mother,” he said, his way of kicking off the ‘what’s wrong’ conversation.
“Don’t think she’ll buy that I’m hungover?”
“Since I don’t lie to your mother, you’re going to have to go with something else, Ram,” he replied.
“I fucked up last night,” I told him truthfully.
“I figured.”
“How so?”
His smirk was genuine when he said, “There’s only one thing that has the power to fuck us up good, and that’s a woman.”
I glanced over at my Mom. She was sitting in one of the deck chairs talking with Sally and Aunt Ava. “I know you and Mom have had some intense moments in your relationship, so can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” he replied smoothly, and that was one of the thing
s I loved about my parents. They didn’t bullshit us. Even if it was to tell us something was none of our business, they still didn’t bullshit us.
“How do you get her to forgive you when you’ve been an asshole?”
“Oh, fuck, Ram,” he rushed out. “What’d you do?”
With the way my father adored my mother, it was hard to get the words out, but I did. “I didn’t like hearing her tell me she didn’t have any feelings for me.”
“Fuck,” he muttered.
I looked at him. “She broke up with her ex-boyfriend a couple of months ago because he cheated on her. So, when she came at me with her bullshit, I told her I was going to hook up with that same girl her boyfriend cheated on her with to see what that girl had that she didn’t.”
He didn’t say anything for a really long time. He just stared at me, and I knew he was choosing his words carefully because they were probably going to be brutal.
Finally, he said, “Your mother forgives me because we have an unhealthy co-dependent relationship on top of being in love with each other. She has to forgive me because she can’t be without me just as much as I can’t be without her.” That didn’t sound good at all. “However, if it ever got to the point where one of us did walk, your mother would survive it. I, on the other hand, wouldn’t.”
“So, you don’t get her to forgive you, she just does because she loves you,” I surmised.
He glanced over at my mom before looking back at me. “Ram, from the first moment that I ever laid eyes on your mother, I have never looked at another female. Even at our worst, I never threw another female in your mother’s face.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Christ, son, you know better.”
“I know,” I told him. “And that’s why I didn’t get any sleep last night and look like shit.”
“Regret doesn’t go away, Ramsey,” he said. “Even if this girl forgives you, the regret stays with you.” He looked serious and remorseful. “You can’t damage someone you care about and not pay the price for it. Forgiveness doesn’t absolve you, son. Nothing does.”
I let out a dark laugh. “So, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Just sit back and let it destroy me?”
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