A knock sounds on his door, and Cade sighs. He opens it to Frederick.
My brother.
“Hey,” I quietly greet him.
“Hey.”
Cade glances between us. “I’ll leave you two alone.”
Frederick hovers just within the threshold, his shoulders slumped, staring at me. I stand across the apartment staring at him.
Long seconds tick by.
Finally, I take the initiative. “You know?”
He nods. “Mom told me last night.”
“What do you think?”
“I was really upset.”
My heart sinks. “Oh.”
“I mean, to think of what this all means. That you’re my real sister.” He shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s just really confusing.”
I don’t want Frederick mad at me or at Aunt Tilly. This affects him on a completely different level, and he needs time to process it too.
“Don’t get me wrong,” he continues. “I think it’s pretty cool we’re brother and sister.”
My lips curve up. “I think it’s pretty cool too.” Frederick is about as great as they come.
“Mom and I have always been straight-up about things. So I can’t believe she hid this from me.”
I move a little closer to my brother. “Guess this explains all the secrecy in our family.”
He lets out a humorless laugh. “Guess so.”
“Don’t blame Tilly. She was so young. Scared. I can’t imagine.”
Frederick nods. “I know. I guess I just wanted to talk to you.”
“I want to talk to you, too.” I close the distance between us and give him a hug. “I can’t think of a better brother to have.”
He squeezes me back. “Same here. Sister, that is.”
I take a step back. “You here on a moped?”
He nods.
“Double me back? It’s time I talked to Tilly.”
Cade walks back into the apartment. “I have to tell you two something.”
He hesitates.
“Yes?” I prompt.
His eyes move between us. Still, he says nothing.
“Cade?” Frederick says.
“I’m just going to say it.” He folds his arms over his chest. He looks down at his flip flops. He looks back up.
“Say what?” I impatiently ask.
“I knew,” he hurriedly says. “I’ve known for years.”
Frederick and I exchange a look, and my brother shakes his head. “I can’t believe this.”
Cade throws his hands up. “I’m the worst. I’m sorry. I found out by accident. I overheard Tilly and Domino talking one night and—”
“I can’t deal with you right now.” Frederick brushes past him. He glances over his shoulder at me. “Coming?”
Cade reaches for me. “Em, I’m so sorry.”
“I’m with Frederick. I can’t deal with anything else right now. I need to talk to Tilly.”
I don’t look at him as I follow my brother out.
Chapter 34
As Frederick and I ride back to The Pepper House, I try very hard not to think of Cade’s admission. I block him from my brain so I can focus on what I plan to say to Tilly.
When it comes to Tilly, though, nothing comes to mind.
I suppose I’ll walk in, see her, and go with it from there.
We pull into the front. “You nervous?” Frederick asks.
“I’m trying not to be.”
“Want me to come with you?”
“No, that’s okay.” I get off the moped.
“I’m going to drive around a bit and just think about stuff.”
I nod. “Want to talk about Cade?”
“I don’t know what to say. I’m so aggravated right now. About everything. Not you,” he quickly clarifies. “But I do need time to myself to think.”
“I get it.” With a little wave, I stand in the driveway until he putters off out of sight.
I don’t know what to say either. It seems like everyone around here has been hiding things from me. Everyone except Frederick.
I don’t know anything, Em. I know Tilly didn’t get along with her mom and left home at a young age. I know she found her way here and became a housekeeper.
With a sigh, I shake Cade’s lying words from my head and turn toward The Pepper House. “One thing at a time,” I mumble. Tilly first.
As I stare at the front door, I think about everything that’s happened in the short time I’ve been here. I’ve been lied to by Tilly. Betrayed by Cade. I treated Jeremy horrible.
Maybe coming here hadn’t been such a great idea after all.
But as I continue staring at the front door, the one word that circles my brain is “home”. This place feels like home.
Finally, I walk in the front door. Home. It hits me again as I take in the hardwood floors, the driftwood furniture, the tropical plants, and the warm glow from the corner lamp.
A couple of older women sit across from each other playing chess. Thoughts of Frederick and I doing the same come back to me, again with home.
I make my way through the great room and into the dining room. The scent of chicken cacciatore lingers in the air.
Through the windows that border the dining room, I catch sight of Aunt Tilly and Harold Lemley sitting quietly by the bay. A soft breeze lifts her long blond hair, dancing it around her.
I walk out the back door. That same warm breeze bathes my body as I quietly stroll toward them.
With his arm stretched along the back of the swing, Harold sits close beside my aunt, and together they silently rock and take in the bay.
“Hi,” I quietly say.
They both turn.
Tilly sits up. “Em.”
“Can we talk?” I ask.
Harold stands. “I’ll leave you two ladies to things.”
As he walks across the yard and disappears down the cottage’s path, I take a seat beside my aunt on the swing. I don’t look at her, though.
“Em—”
I shake my head. I want to talk first. “I’ve been standing outside for a while, staring at the front door. I thought of the lies, the betrayal. It’s not what I expected coming here.”
“Em—”
I shake my head again, needing to get this out. “I guess I came here thinking I was going to find myself or something, and I did. I found more than myself. But I also can’t seem to shake the word ‘home’ from my mind. This place really does feel like home. I’m not sure what to do about that.”
Still, I don’t look at her, but she reaches out and takes my hand.
Relief courses through me, and I close my eyes. I don’t know what I expected. Coldness? Distance? It’s ridiculous, really. She’s never been that way to me before. Why start now?
I slide across the swing at the same time she leans toward me, and we go into each other’s arms. She hugs me snug against her as if she hasn’t hugged me in years. I return her embrace, relishing how safe it feels to be held so tight.
“I love you,” she whispers.
Her words bring tears to my eyes. “I love you, too.”
“Oh, Em.” Her breath catches on her own tears and she squeezes me even harder.
We sit that way, hugging, crying, for I don’t know how long.
“I don’t blame you,” I tell her as I pull back a little. “I would have been just as scared. Feeling hopeless and lost if the father of my baby left. Manipulated by Grandmother. Wanting the best for my baby.” I sniff. “I don’t blame you.”
“Oh, sweet girl.” She cups my cheek in her hand, peering back at me through her own wet eyes. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”
“Yes, it is.”
Her lips tremble. “How do you feel? Are you angry?”
“No. At first, maybe, I was, but only because I hadn’t thought it out.”
She smooths her hand over my hair.
“Frederick and I talked,” I tell her. “He’s out on the moped right now, thinking.”
“He was really upset last night. He hasn’t spoken to me since.”
“He will,” I assure her. “Give him time.”
“I’ve really made a mess of things,” she murmurs.
“No, you haven’t.”
She lapses into silence, glancing out at the bay. A few seconds later she says, “Who knows if I should’ve done things differently? Kept you? Told Frederick earlier? Tried to get you back? I’ve driven myself nuts thinking about it over the years.”
I grip her fingers. “You did what you thought was right.”
Her tear-filled gaze moves off of the bay and over to me.
“Did you tell Cade not to say anything when he found out?”
Tilly frowns. “What?”
“He said he overheard you and Domino talking years ago. He knew all along.”
“Oh, no,” she groans. “I didn’t know. He never said anything.” Her eyes close. “Poor Cade. God, I’ve really have made a mess of things.”
I put my arms around her again and lay my head on her shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. We’re all going to be okay.”
“Whenever you’re ready to hear about your father, I’ll tell you.”
“He left you alone. As far as I’m concerned I want nothing to do with him.”
“Are you sure?”
“Has he ever tried to reestablish connection? Has ever asked about me?”
She hesitates like she thinks the answer will insult me.
“Just tell me,” I say.
“No, not once. He was happy to sign over rights to Kat and your dad.”
“Then that’s all I need to know.”
Shifting, I slide my arm under hers and with my head still on her shoulder I gaze out at calm water. Slowly, we swing. My thoughts drift and shift.
I think about all the new developments and about my life back home. We’re all going to be okay. Something tells me the words might not be true.
Chapter 35
I spend the rest of the afternoon thinking of what I’ll say to Mom, Grandmother, and, most importantly, my sister. By dinnertime mental exhaustion settles in, and I thankfully dive into my kitchen duties with Domino. It allows my mind to rest. I’m grateful Domino doesn’t talk to me. Instead, we work in silent sync.
Afterward, I close myself in my room and dial Gwenny.
“Hey!” she answers.
I wince. This is not going to be easy. “Hey. You have time to talk?”
“Ooh, sounds serious.”
“Are you alone? No one can hear?”
She falls silent. “Yes, I’m alone. Em, what’s going on? Are you okay?”
I tell her everything. From finding the picture of Tilly holding me, to all the things Tilly and I talked about, and Frederick, to spending the night with Cade. I explain all the crazy emotions I’ve been through. I tell her about Cade knowing, too.
When I’m done, I wait for her to say something, but she doesn’t.
Instead, she cries.
“Oh, Gwenny, don’t cry.”
She cries even harder, and it breaks my heart. I wish I was there to hug her. I hate we’re having this conversation over the phone. But it can’t wait. The words have to be said.
“Wh-what are you going to do?” Her breath catches. “What are we going to do?”
I love that she said “we”, but I hate the question because she’s going to hate the answer.
“I’m staying here,” I quietly tell her. Not until this moment do I fully realize it’s what I want. “I haven’t told anybody that. You’re the first. I haven’t even asked Tilly yet. But she did say this was my home if I want it. I know that’s the last thing you want to hear, and I’m so, so sorry to tell you this over the phone. But I’m sure, Gwenny. I’m really sure it’s what I want.”
“You’re not coming back?” She sniffs. “Mom and Grandmother are going to be furious, Em. Just a sec.” She puts her phone down and blows her nose. “Okay, I’m back.”
“It’s breaking my heart that you’re so upset.”
“I’ll be okay,” she mumbles.
“I’m not going to Harvard, either,” I say softly, again not fully realizing until this moment.
Gwenny lets out a watery chuckle. “Jeez, Em, how many other things are you going to hit me with?”
“I’m going to take the semester off and apply to culinary schools.” I don’t know where these thoughts and words come from. I certainly didn’t plan them out prior to this call, but everything feels right.
“That sounds just perfect for you,” she whispers, fresh tears in her voice, this time of happiness. “What about Mom? And Grandmother?”
I lay back on my bed. “Well, I thought about coming home and seeing them in person. Then I considered a phone call. But now I’m contemplating a letter. What do you think?”
“I’d love to see you. I’d love for you to come home, but I think a letter really is the best way to go. Mom and Grandmother can be very intimidating. They might even disown you like they did Aunt Tilly. Do you really want to go through that drama?”
I hadn’t thought about that, but she’s right. They may tell me to never come home. They may disown me over this like they did Tilly.
Gwenny says, “Why don’t you write that letter, and let me know when you send it. Once they’ve had time to digest everything I’ll work on them over here. Eventually, we’re bound to wear them down.”
I love my sister. “I want you to know this doesn’t change anything between us. We’re still sisters and will always be.”
Gwenny’s voice hitches. “Dang you, I just got my tears all dried up.”
We share a laugh.
“I love you, Gwenny. We’ll talk later.”
We hang up, and I hope beyond all hope that she doesn’t experience the fallout over all of this.
I take a tablet of paper and go downstairs to the kitchen. I want to get started on my letter while all my thoughts are straight in my head. Domino stops the last bit of cleaning as I enter.
During dinner prep, we didn’t talk, but now I ask, “I’m assuming you know?”
He nods. “Always have.”
I sit down on a stool. “And?”
“I’m glad you’re finally here. Tilly has longed for you for as long as I’ve known her. There were a lot of hard decisions in all of this, and she did what she thought was best.”
“I know.”
He opens the refrigerator. “When you took off yesterday and were gone all night, she was worried sick. She stayed up waiting on you. With Frederick upset too, well, not a good night for Tilly.”
My heart sinks. “I didn’t realize. I needed time to think. I’m sorry.”
“I know you did.” Domino puts Tupperware on the top shelf and closes the door. “I’m not getting onto you. I love Tilly like a sister, and it hurts me when she’s hurt. She’s an amazing woman. That’s all.”
“She is,” I agree.
He leans back against the sink and folds his arms. “Want to talk?”
I tell him everything I just said to Gwenny—about staying, not going to Harvard, and applying to culinary schools. I also tell him about the letter I plan to write home.
When I finish, I ask, “What do you think?”
“Well, I’m happy you’ve decided to stay. I’m not surprised about your plan for culinary school. You were screaming world-famous chef the evening you tasted my snapper.”
I laugh a little.
“As far as the letter home? I’m not one to not do things in person. I like face-to-face conversations. But from what I know about your mainland family, I think a letter’s probably the best way to go.”
I tap my notepad. “I figured writing it in the kitchen, my favorite place, would keep me calm and focused.”
“You are so like me, it’s scary. I do all my main thinking in a kitchen.” He pushes off the sink. “Okay, I’ll leave you to it.”
I pick up my pen and after a few moments of gathering my thoughts, I write.
De
ar Family,
I have had a wonderful summer here with Tilly. I’ve discovered a lot about myself and am a different person now than when I first arrived. I have become a woman that I am comfortable with and that’s a wonderful way to feel.
I have been hiding something from you all for a very long time. Since I was a little girl I have been incredibly interested in cooking. So much so that I have numerous books on the culinary arts and I have snuck into the kitchen many late nights to practice recipes.
To put it simply, cooking makes me happy.
With this revelation and admission, I have decided to pursue it as a career. I will not be attending Harvard and instead will apply to culinary schools. Please know that I greatly appreciate your support and love. I know you have set aside money for Harvard and I do not expect you to pay for culinary school. I will pay for it myself.
A few days ago I came across old photos and the truth about Aunt Tilly being my birth mother. She did not tell me and in fact, planned on keeping the secret. It has been a rough few days as I’ve thought through everything. Now, though, I understand.
Everyone wanted what was best for me, and I thank you for that. I understand the decisions made from all angles. I love everyone very much and my greatest hope is that we can be a family again.
All of us.
I will be staying on here at The Pepper House until I’m accepted to a culinary school and know better my next steps.
I hope this letter is received with as much love as I’m writing it.
Yours,
Em
I read and reread the letter and satisfied, I lay it down. With my phone, I take a photo and text it to Gwenny. PLEASE READ AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.
“Em?” Frederick enters the kitchen, glancing at the letter. “What’s that?”
“To my family back home.”
“Oh?” He takes a hesitant few steps closer.
I slide the pad over. “Mind taking a look? I could use a second set of eyes.”
“Sure.” He picks the tablet up and quietly reads.
My phone buzzes with Gwenny. YES, SIMPLE AND CONFIDENT. TO THE POINT, YET WITH LOVE.
Perfect. It’s exactly what I want.
Sliding the pad back over, Frederick gives me a hug. “I’m glad you’re staying.”
Em (The Summer My Life Began Book 1) Page 15
