by Fanny Finch
She was going to be fighting off the tears the entire time she did it. She was already blinking them away to clear her vision. The sound of sadness in Lady Agatha’s voice did not make it any better.
“Did you see how easily the Duke of Thornwall gave in to me leaving?” she asked. “He really did not seem to mind.”
“My brother has a sense of resignation about him that is unmatched by many,” Lady Agatha said. “It takes a lot to get him motivated. You should know this. You have been here long enough and spent a great deal of time with him.”
“I suppose I had better notify Phoebe.” Lady Elizabeth crossed the room and pulled the cord notifying the servants downstairs to send someone up. Phoebe always answered the calls from Elizabeth’s room.
“Oh, I do not want you to go. Please do not go.” Lady Agatha moaned, leaning back from the post and hanging her head backward. She scrunched her eyes together and stuck out her bottom lip, sulking.
Lady Elizabeth tilted her head to the side. . “Oh stop, Aggie. You look silly.”
“But I do not want you to leave. It has been so wonderful having you here. You are a delightful friend and companion. You are perfect for him.”
Lady Elizabeth glanced at her friend as she folded her underclothes and stuffed them down in a large fabric bag with a stiff handle. “What makes you so confident, Aggie? You have been saying that since I got here. He would have said something if he did not want me to leave. I believe he has not let go of his mourning for Lady Sophia. If he were to move on with me, it would clearly be for duty’s sake.”
Lady Agatha shook her head. “I have been saying that in my letters for months..”
“Not in every letter, thank goodness,” Lady Elizabeth said, light-heartedly. “But you have never explained it. You have merely said I am perfect for him. Tell me how.”
Lady Agatha lifted her eyes, as if searching through her mind. “I just know it is a fact, Lizzie. But if you give me a moment, I am sure I can find something to help you understand.”
Lady Elizabeth stopped packing, standing up straight and staring at her friend. She was holding two undergarments and lowered them against her legs, waiting for Lady Agatha to come up with a good example that could prove her point.
After a moment, Lady Agatha’s face lit up and Lady Elizabeth knew she had thought of something. She waited, scanning her friend’s excitement with her own building up inside her.
“Do you remember when we were in the garden last week? It was the day that Smithson was talking to the gardener and they were laughing loudly. Malcolm came out from inside and went to them. You said you thought Malcolm might be telling them to be quiet. And then after a moment, Malcolm was laughing with them. Do you recall?”
Lady Elizabeth did remember the incident. She had been afraid the Duke of Thornwall would punish one or either of the men for not doing their jobs when they were being paid to do so. The thought was fleeting, though and she was immensely relieved when the Duke of Thornwall started laughing along with the men.
“What does that prove?” Lady Elizabeth asked, thinking back to the time with a smile on her face.
Lady Agatha started laughing and Lady Elizabeth tilting her head, looking inquisitively at her.
“What has amused you now?”
“You, Lizzie. You are such a card. The look you have on your face remembering when Malcolm laughed with Smithson and the gardener is the same look you had that very day! You adore my brother! I can see it all over your face!”
Lady Elizabeth immediately flushed. Knowing that the feelings she tried to bury were obvious to Lady Agatha was embarrassing and only made it harder to leave.
If someone else could tell, she could not deny it to herself any longer.
But it was too late. She would have to leave.
Her parents waited downstairs for her to gather her things. She was given half an hour to pack and if she took longer, it was likely her mother would come up to the room to hurry her along.
That was the last thing Lady Elizabeth wanted. While staying at Thornwall Castle, she had discovered an independence she did not want to give up. She would miss being able to wake when she wanted, go for walks, talk to the servants, enjoy the incredible works of art displayed all around the castle.
She did not want to leave Thornwall Castle.
“The Duke of Thornwall is a broken man, Aggie. I do not see that changing just because of me.”
Lady Agatha shot to her feet, suddenly angry with her friend. “You are wrong, Lizzie! You are wrong! You will see that when you get to London and meet this Marquess of Cramilton. He will not love you like Malcolm can.”
Lady Agatha stood rigid in front of her, red in the face, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.
She rushed toward Lady Elizabeth and threw her arms around her, wailing in her neck. Lady Elizabeth held on to her friend in return.
“I wish you did not have to go but I know why you are,” Lady Agatha’s muffled voice was barely audible. “I cannot watch you leave. Please write that you are safe the moment you get to London. Do you hear?”
“Yes, Aggie. I will.”
Lady Agatha tore herself away from her friend and bolted out the door. Lady Elizabeth watched her disappear and winced when her door slammed shut with force. It was a heavy door. Lady Agatha would have had to pull it hard to make it sound like that.
“I am so sorry, Aggie,” she whispered. She resumed her packing, taking her possessions down from the top of the dressing table and placing them gently into the fabric bag on top of her undergarments.
Her tears finally coming full force, Lady Elizabeth lowered herself to her knees and sat back on her legs. She covered her face with her hands and moaned quietly.
She could see the Duke of Thornwall’s eyes staring intently at her behind her lids. She would be seeing his image in her mind for some time, she was sure. Not to mention the dreams. She already dreamed about walks in the garden with him.
Once he was no longer there, would it make them miss each other? Or would they forget about each other?
She did not want to forget about the Duke of Thornwall. If she was honest with herself, it felt like it would be nearly impossible to let go of her feelings for him.
Necessary or not, she knew the love she felt for the Duke of Thornwall was not going anywhere. It did not matter who she met. He would be the love that was never found.
That was the problem, though. He was found. She had found him, thanks to her lovely friend, Aggie. Her parents had stepped in the way, creating an obstacle she did not know if she could get around.
Her shoulders shook as she sobbed but she made sure to keep it as silent as possible. She would wash her face with the water in the basin when she was done, brush her hair, and go down looking presentable.
She really felt she had no other choice.
Chapter 48
The Duke of Thornwall stood with his hands behind his back, staring out at the darkening cloudy sky. The sun had not come out from behind the clouds that day. It had been dark throughout, making the Duke of Thornwall feel the effect of its gloominess to the depth of his bones.
It had been three days since Lady Elizabeth left with her parents and he was in complete denial that he missed her.
He was refusing to believe it but the fact that he would not speak of her to Lady Agatha or anyone else was enough proof he was feeling it. He gazed out at the rain, watching the drops traverse the window in front of him from the very top all the way to the bottom sill.
It was chilly in the room. The Duke of Thornwall had lit several candles but had neglected to build a fire. He had not known how long he would be in the room.
Turning to glance at the candle to his left and the fireplace beyond it, he debated if he wanted to build a fire. It did not matter how long it had been. He was still nervous when he built one. Typically, he would get a servant to do it for him.
He did not even like to light a candle.
But such things wer
e necessary in order to see at night and have warmth in the cold months. He reluctantly walked to the cord hanging next to the fireplace and pulled it. He did not want to start the fire. A servant would do it for him.
The room was dark except for the candles. The Duke of Thornwall dropped into one of the large chairs to wait for Milla. It was usually Milla who came to his aid. She was spry on her feet and could make it around the castle faster than anyone else who worked for him.
He was glad he had the staff he did. They were always there to assist him. He had not bothered to return to the village and tell the Duke of Argyle that Lady Elizabeth had left and there was no reason for him to call in the debts of the townspeople.
If things had gone differently, the Duke of Thornwall had made arrangements to have cheques sent to each that owed the Duke of Argyle so they would not go to prison. He was sure they could work off the debt to him, if they chose.
He let his mind drift to Lady Elizabeth, picturing her beautiful face in his mind. He ran through her various moods, seeing her laughing and happy, scowling and angry, sad and tearful. He loved each version he saw. He could not help it.
There was no point in denying it any longer.
His heart ached for her. He wanted her back at Thornwall Castle so bad, he was willing to go out searching for her, defending her honor against any foe.
He remembered the look on Lady Elizabeth’s face when she was leaving. She walked so slowly down to the coach. He was standing behind the window of the parlor, which looked out over the front of the building into the courtyard.
He had not wanted to be outside. It was too close to her and she was leaving him behind.
So he stood there watching, missing her before she even left.
She turned before she climbed up into the coach, looking over her shoulder, directly at him. Their eyes met. He had never before seen a look of such longing in the eyes of a woman. He wondered if she could see the same in his.
He did not turn away. He watched until the coach was far down the road. With each roll of the wheels, the bond between them stretched. It was at a nearly unbearable point when the Duke of Thornwall turned away, resigning himself to whatever happened next.
He could not deny his love for Lady Elizabeth, no matter how hard he tried. He wanted to. But he could not. He had made the wrong choice letting her leave. He should have asked her to stay, asked her father for permission to court her, he should have done something.
But he did nothing.
The Duke of Thornwall stared into the fireplace, though Milla had not yet arrived to build one. It was nearly dark now and the only light came from the candles on both sides of the room. They clashed against each other in places, leaving strange, dancing shadows on the walls and furniture around him.
He flashed back to being in the Argyle Estate, watching the flames lick the ceiling and consume a set of curtains in less than a minute. It had climbed up the walls as if it had a life of its own.
The Duke of Thornwall shuddered. He did not want to think about it.
He moved his mind back to Lady Elizabeth, nodding and waving his hand when Milla finally came in. She was apologizing for not being there immediately but he was not listening. She must have realized his mood because she went about making the fire, speaking nothing to him.
When she looked at him, he could see the concern on Milla’s face. It was a friendly look, though, not one of harm.
When she was done, she curtsied to him and left the room without a word. He said nothing to her, either.
He slumped down in the chair, spreading his long legs out in front of him. Now the room was lit up and he stared into the fire, losing himself in his memories.
He remembered several times being in the reading room and discovering, to his delight, that Lady Elizabeth loved to read and had read almost every book he had read. One of her favorites turned out to be one of his favorites.
They had several competitions, challenging each other to finish a book in a week or less. It had been an amusing game. When they were finished with their chosen book, which had to be one Lady Agatha had already read, they would be asked questions to make sure they truly read the book.
The game was all in fun because there were no wagers on the contest. But it was terribly fun when a question was asked that he or Lady Elizabeth did not know the answer to. That was when the teasing would start.
The Duke of Thornwall smiled into the firelight. Lady Elizabeth had a delightful sense of humor. She was smiling more often than not. When she could not remember the answer to a question and was teased by himself and his sister, she took it with grace, promising to get him back with the oddest question she could think of for his next contest.
His heart pounded in his chest painfully. He missed her so.
He turned his head when he heard the door open and someone come in. He could see the shadowy silhouette of a woman and for a brief moment, he was elated, thinking Lady Elizabeth had returned.
Chapter 49
Lady Elizabeth sat in her room, her legs pulled up underneath her in the window seat. She sighed, staring through the window at the pouring rain outside, noticing how the sky, as dark as it was, reflected off the puddles of water forming on the ground outside.
The rain exacerbated her feelings of melancholy.
She remembered the meeting with the Marquess of Cramilton. They had met in the parlor of her parents’ home as part of a dinner party they were giving in his honor.
They seemed determined for her to marry the man, having not given her a choice in the matter.
The Marquess of Cramilton had a good reputation. When they met, he was polite, a gentleman to the core. He seemed very calm and was described by mutual friends as being competent in business and patient with his staff. She found him to be cordial and amiable when they first met.
“It is lovely to meet you, Lady Elizabeth,” the Marquess of Cramilton said, bowing at the waist, lowering his head to her. “May I interest you in a stroll around the parlor?”
Lady Elizabeth looked up at him, scanning his face. She searched for the same depth, the deep emotions she saw exuding from the Duke of Thornwall.
The Marquess of Cramilton did not appear to have any such feelings. She imagined he had never been through anything traumatic in his life.
She walked with him, listening as he admired the décor. She alluded to the fact that her parents alone were responsible for what he saw, claiming to have no talent with interior decorating herself.
“It is fine,” the Marquess of Cramilton said in a friendly voice. “I am sure you have many talents. Can you paint?”
“I do not paint. I have very few skills.” Lady Elizabeth was consciously making herself look unattractive to the man. She did not want him to expect too much from her. She was barely giving him a chance to begin with.
As far as she was concerned, they were all lucky she did not repack her bags and run straight back to the castle and into the Duke of Thornwall’s arms. Her sense of dignity and pride were all that were keeping her from doing just that.
“I must doubt that. Your parents describe you as being highly intelligent, a lovely woman. I have been anxious to meet you. Perhaps we will have time to get to know each other tonight.”
Lady Elizabeth did not want to spend too much time with the Marquess of Cramilton. She decided then and there she would behave in an eccentric but dignified way. She would be blunt but tactful.
“Your Grace, I am surprised that you are still unmarried,” she said in a light-hearted way. “I was told you are fascinating, a delight to be around. Surely there are a lot of women pining for your heart.”
The Marquess of Cramilton laughed, throwing his head back. Lady Elizabeth did not get the delighted feeling she was used to from laughter. But then, it was not the Duke of Thornwall who was laughing.
“I do not know who you have been speaking to, but that is quite flattering. Thank you.”
Lady Elizabeth nodded. “It is widely known in Lon
don. My parents informed me through a letter while I was visiting a friend that you are sought after and warned me that I must do my best to capture you before any other lady does.”
The Marquess of Cramilton raised his eyebrows. “Oh? And how do you feel about that.”
She gave him a small smile. “I do as my parents tell me to do.”
He nodded. “Good. That is the way it should be, after all.”
“Do you not care about love, Your Grace? Do you think a marriage can be efficient without love?”
“I believe you will learn to love me, as I will learn to love you.”
