by Martina Cole
Jenny didn’t answer her mother. She sat down at the kitchen table and poured herself out a cup of tea.
‘He rang here last night. I said you didn’t want to talk to him. He sounded fucking upset.’
Jenny rolled her eyes at that. The knowledge of what Cain had planned for what was to be their wedding day was just sinking in. Her anniversary would always have been the same date as Peter Parkes’s death, and Cain didn’t even seem to care. She felt a terrible coldness wash over her as she realised exactly what the man she loved was capable of.
She cried bitterly, ‘I bet he was. Missed out on a fuck, didn’t he? He paid twenty grand for a fucking hour with me. Now I’ve spent the night with Freddie Marks and, do you know what, Mum? It was fantastic. You were right all along. I need a bit of life. I want to live my life finally.’
Eileen shook her head. ‘I’ve got to give it to you, Jen, you don’t do things by halves!’
‘I must have been mad, Mum. All these years I’ve lived in a vacuum. Everything I did was for Cain – trying to make his life easier while he was banged up. Writing to him, visiting him, telling myself that it wasn’t that hard, that the loneliness was something I could control if I just kept my mind focused. And I was lonely, Mum – so fucking lonely – but I bore it because I knew he felt the same. Yet he’d planned to have a man killed on what should have been the happiest day of our lives. Jesus Christ, talk about having shit in my eyes. I never saw him properly, did I? I made him into the Cain Moran I wanted him to be.’
Eileen sat down at the table opposite her daughter and took her hand gently. Never had she heard her Jenny talk like this about the man she loved to distraction.
‘Well, girl, the ball’s in your court now.’
Jenny sighed. ‘I know that now, Mum. I need to think long and hard about what to do with my life.’
Chapter One Hundred and Nine
Freddie Marks and Jenny were together in Freddie’s flat. He was smiling at her happily as she sipped her glass of wine. Though it wasn’t an ideal situation, he was willing to accept Jenny’s pleas for secrecy. Freddie wanted to be seen with her; he wanted to take her out and spoil her. He wanted to be her boyfriend. But Jenny Riley knew that could never happen and, in spite of her anger with Cain over his antics, she’d come to the realisation that she would always love him and accepted the limitations that put on her. She had made it plain to Freddie Marks that if he wanted her, it would have to be on her terms, and on the quiet. Even though he’d made it clear he wanted more than that she wasn’t going to change her mind.
Jenny Riley was in lust, not in love, and there was a big difference. The sex with Freddie was explosive and regular, and there was no denying she was enjoying it. But she was still in love with Cain Moran and nothing would ever change that. Once she had admitted it to herself, she felt resigned to the fact that Cain would always come first, no matter what. These last few months had been a real learning curve for her, and even her relationship with Cain had undergone a massive transformation. She didn’t accept anything at face value and quizzed him on everything. The shift in balance had been good for her, and she was determined not to be so gullible or ignorant any more. But it didn’t matter what he had done or might do in the future – Cain would always be the love of her life.
The sex with Freddie Marks was physically fulfilling, but she was well aware she could never love him. What she and Freddie had would eventually run its course, then she would go back to the way she was before: waiting for Cain to come home.
As she watched Freddie now, Jenny felt sad for him, but it was only fleeting. Because now he was taking off her dress, and she couldn’t wait much longer.
Sex really was the best medicine, and she had grown up enough to realise that sometimes you needed certain things in life. If she thought of Cain while she made love to Freddie Marks then that really was her prerogative. She couldn’t have the real thing, so she was willing to settle for second best.
Eileen was right behind her, making sure she had the time she needed to enjoy her new-found freedom. It felt good to be needed, to be desired again. As she followed Freddie Marks to his bedroom she didn’t feel the slightest shred of remorse. If she had learned one thing from Cain, it was that the only way to survive in this life was by taking what you could from every situation. She was simply putting his philosophy into action.
Chapter One Hundred and Ten
Cain was working out and, even though he didn’t feel like it, he knew he had to do it. Sleep had been harder to come by since the events of what should have been his wedding day.
Jenny was a changed woman, and he only had himself to blame. She didn’t come to visit as regularly as she had before, and when she did come, she was a lot less passive, talking about her own life rather than just enquiring after his. Before, she had hated telling him about her life because it was on the outside and she didn’t want him to feel excluded. Now, he had every thought in her head thrown at him. It was certainly different, but how could he blame her? He had taken the piss in many respects and he rationalised maybe they were better off with this new relationship. They were equal partners.
Cain Junior had also changed, and wasn’t as affectionate as he had been towards his father. Cain knew he would have read all sorts in the papers and heard plenty of gossip about him. But he was a realist and had always known his son would find out the truth one day. He’d just hoped he would understand. There wasn’t much he could do about it banged up like he was now, so he would have to rely on Jenny to deal with the situation as best she could. It was frustrating to be so powerless when it came to people you loved.
In terms of Cain’s power as a Face, though, he was far from helpless these days. Now that he’d had Parkes taken out, and had entered into a partnership with the Osman brothers, he was back on top. It felt good to be scamming again and using his brain, and it was easier than he had thought possible to get back into things from the inside. The Osmans needed his good name, and he needed them on the outside to help pile up the money again. He was back in the Life, and making up for lost time; though he could not change his sentence he could still earn a decent wedge. The Osman brothers were good blokes and, now he had a mobile phone, he was able to keep in contact with them easily.
This new technology was amazing, but it also made the men aware of just how much the world outside was changing. It seemed that every week something new was launched on the world at large, and they felt left out of the loop, unable to access any of it. It was changing the face of the crime industry, and this was just the beginning. He had always been on the ball, and he was catching up with it as quickly as he could. The younger men were more than willing to explain things, and it was good to keep abreast of change – especially now he was back in business.
The prison had ruled James Banks Junior’s death as self-defence on Cain’s part – there was no comeback, which pleased him no end. In some ways he would have enjoyed a trial as a way of getting away from these fucking four walls for a while. There was no end of inmates who would keep appealing their sentences, just to get out and about. All in all, though, Cain was so relieved he had finally got his Jenny back and he had some work to occupy his time, that was enough for him right now.
The lack of sleep bothered him though – he would often lie awake for hours on end. Blokko reckoned it happened to a lot of the lifers, and saw it as a form of depression. Maybe he had a point. One thing Cain did know was he needed to get some well-earned shuteye soon because it was really starting to take its toll on his frame of mind. Working out would make him physically tired, and he hoped that by upping his regime he might just finally drop off through sheer exhaustion. It was worth a try anyway.
Chapter One Hundred and Eleven
Molly was exhausted; it was a long journey to the Isle of Wight, what with the drive down and the ferry crossing. It had been an arduous day, and she wasn’t getting any younger. As usual she had accepted the ritual of being searched by a female prison officer
and, after what seemed an age, she was finally able to go through to the visiting room.
She lived for these visits and, now that Jenny wasn’t coming down at every available opportunity, she could see her son more often on her own. She preferred that – they could talk properly without having to worry about Jenny’s reaction – and she knew Cain liked it too.
She bought two mugs of tea and a couple of Kit Kats and settled at a far table, awaiting her son’s arrival. She sensed he hadn’t been quite as chipper of late but he always had a smile and a wink for his old mum. He put on a good show for her, she knew that much. She loved the fact that the eyes of female visitors always followed him, responding to his good looks, and how the men always gave him a respectful greeting. It was a crying shame that her son was spending the best years of his life locked up.
As he made his way towards her now, he was smiling widely, and she felt the sting of tears at what she had to tell him. But she was his mother, and she had to do right by him. If there was another man in Jenny’s life, then he ought to know. He wasn’t going to be made a fool of, not on her watch. As much as she loved the girl, there were some things that couldn’t be forgiven.
Chapter One Hundred and Twelve
Eileen was unloading her shopping from Jenny’s car when she heard Caroline Moran’s voice behind her.
‘Feeding the five thousand, are we?’ She sounded friendly, but her usual undertone of malice could be heard beneath the surface.
Eileen replied nonchalantly, ‘No, we just thought we’d better be ready in case you popped in for a snack.’
The barb hit home and Caroline closed her eyes for a moment before saying carefully, ‘I thought I would see how poor Jenny is doing these days – after the wedding fiasco and everything.’
Eileen turned to face her, ready for a fight if need be. ‘She survived, and she and Cain are stronger than ever, darling.’
‘Really? So all this talk about her and Freddie Marks isn’t true?’ Eileen’s face paled, telling Caroline Moran all she needed to know. ‘Well, who can blame her? I wouldn’t think Cain will be so fucking forgiving though. Funny like that, he was. Slept with any old trollop who’d let him between her legs, but he always said he’d kill me if I did it. Food for thought, eh?’
With that she waddled away. As Eileen watched her retreat, she felt a rising panic. The cat was out of the bag. She needed to warn Jenny and, more to the point, Freddie Marks. Cain Moran might be banged up but that wasn’t going to stop him retaliating. Freddie must have blabbed, the stupid fucking idiot. Now there would be hell to pay.
Chapter One Hundred and Thirteen
‘Oh my God, what are you going to do?’
Freddie Marks was nonplussed for a moment by Jenny’s words. ‘What do you mean, what am I going to do?’
Jenny sighed in exasperation. ‘Are you being deliberately obtuse?’
He shook his head. This was what he had wanted – they could be a proper couple now. He said as much and saw the way Jenny’s face paled. ‘Look, Jen, think about it. He’s going to be banged up for years and we can move away. Abroad even.’
Jenny laughed then, nastily. Fear was hammering at her chest. ‘Are you on fucking drugs, Freddie? Do you really think Cain will swallow the idea of you taking his woman? I told you from the get-go that I wouldn’t ever love you. That I could never be with you. You agreed to that. You must have told someone. If Caroline Moran knows then so does the whole fucking world – they don’t call her the Romford Recorder for nothing.’
Freddie was reeling. He had told someone, but it had been a person he really trusted.
‘I swear I only told my mum.’
Jenny closed her eyes in dismay. Mary Marks was a lovely woman who lived for her nights at Mecca Bingo in Ilford, but she was also a loud gossip who spent all her time between games chatting with her table of cronies, one of whom was Molly Moran. This was getting worse and worse. She knew Molly cared about her but her loyalty would always be to Cain first. If Molly knew, then Cain would already know too. Her stomach clenched in fear, not just for herself, but for Freddie Marks.
‘What are you, Freddie, eight years old? Telling your mum, one of the biggest fucking gossips in East London, that you’re having an affair! What were you thinking? Cain will fucking kill us. I mean it, he will kill us dead.’ She was close to tears at the enormity of what she had done.
As her words sank in, Freddie Marks was only just starting to understand the trouble he was in.
Three days later he was killed in what was reported as a hit and run – only the driver had reversed over him three times to make sure the job had been done properly.
Chapter One Hundred and Fourteen
Molly Moran watched Jenny as she walked into the visiting room at Parkhurst. The girl looked beautiful – there was no doubt about it – but there was a nervous edge to her today. Though Molly felt sorry for her, she still stood by her actions in telling her son. If she had forever damaged her relationship with this girl that was something she would just have to live with. Her Cain would always be the first priority, end of story.
When Eileen had accused Molly of getting Freddie murdered, it had been beyond the pale. That bastard had got what was coming to him – no more and no less. Molly had not brought up a fool for a son, and no one was going to get one over on him. Not on her watch.
As she waited in line to get the teas and the biscuits she observed Jenny sitting at the table, forlorn and frightened. She didn’t seem to realise, as Molly did, that Cain could never hurt her. He worshipped his Jenny, and always would. She lingered in the queue so she could see the reaction of her son as he walked into the visiting room. Men could be funny creatures where women and sex were concerned, but he had sworn no harm would come to the mother of his child, and Molly had believed him.
She watched Cain walk over to Jenny and smile briefly before sitting down opposite her. Molly felt immediately relieved that there was no drama at his arrival and brought the teas over to the table before making her excuses. They needed to be left alone to sort out their differences.
‘I’m so sorry, Cain. I was just so disappointed about the wedding . . . I was angry and lonely . . .’
There were tears in Jenny’s eyes and though part of Cain Moran felt the urge to attack her, he restrained himself. He was tortured by the thought of someone else touching her, tasting her. It was so consuming that he couldn’t eat or sleep. But he knew that eventually he would get over this. As his mum had pointed out, Jenny was still a young, vibrant woman. He had to find it in his heart to forgive her, though it was going to be very difficult, and right now he didn’t know if he wanted to kiss her or kill her.
He hated seeing the fear in her eyes, but relished knowing she would now be too frightened to ever contemplate doing the dirty on him again. However forgiving he felt, he wasn’t going to let her off easy though, especially knowing they were being watched by everyone else in the visiting room.
‘So how was he then, Jen? Good, was he? Must have been doing something right all those fucking months.’
Jenny didn’t know what to say – she was so scared of Cain at this moment.
He leaned in and whispered in her ear, ‘Made you scream, did he? Tell you he loved you, did he? Fucking answer me!’
She pushed his head away and looked into his eyes before saying, ‘It was good, Cain, because I was thinking of you. I think he knew that deep down, but he wanted me and I needed to feel wanted – really wanted – by someone.’
The brutal honesty of her answer brought Cain up short. He had expected tears and pleas for forgiveness; he had not expected her to tell him that she had wanted him so much she’d replaced him.
The POs looked on warily. There were never secrets in a prison, and Cain’s bird playing away from home had been a hot topic of conversation for everyone. But if he killed her in the visiting room it would cause untold aggravation for all concerned, and Cain had been put through the indignity of a cavity search before Jenny�
�s arrival. It was astounding what someone determined enough could ram up their arse.
‘You destroyed me on our wedding morning, Cain. When you used that day to settle old scores and put yourself back into the Life, you ruined everything I had ever wanted. I did what I did out of revenge as well as loneliness and I am heart-sorry. But you have had your revenge too. You had him murdered. And even knowing that, I still love you and want you. I’m frightened of you for the first time ever, Cain, but I still can’t see me loving any other man.’
Jenny dropped her eyes then, and didn’t attempt to wipe away her tears, so Cain wiped them for her. Then he pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, kissing her hair and telling her he loved her. The whole visiting room could breathe again, and the POs who had been put on the duty roster for that morning in case Cain Moran had needed subduing were no longer on edge.
Jenny relaxed into Cain’s embrace and, as they hugged, no one mentioned the no touching rule, least of all the Prison Officers.
Chapter One Hundred and Fifteen
Eileen Riley was still suffering over Freddie Marks. She wasn’t sure she could ever forgive Molly Moran for bringing the information about his affair with Jenny to Cain’s attention. Eileen had been the catalyst for that relationship, believing it would do her daughter the world of good to have a man in her life for a while. But now he was dead, and everyone knew why.
Guilt was not an emotion she had ever really felt before. Eileen had always been selfish, taking what she wanted without a thought to the consequences. Now, though, she was haunted by that man’s tragic and terrible end and the knowledge that she had been instrumental in his death, even if it had never been her intent. She knew full well what Cain Moran was capable of, but the fact that he might act so quickly had never crossed her mind.
