The Broken Mirror

by Tshombe

  Day and Night

  “Barry! Barry!” Ethan yelled outside his friend’s window. “Barry!”

  The window opened. “What’s going on, E? What are you doing here so late?”

  “I need a place to crash tonight. Is it cool or what?”

  “Yeah dude, it’s cool. Wait right there. I’ll be down in a sec.”

  Ethan stared at the night sky, wishing he could escape reality. He wanted his parents back together, yet maybe they were better off apart. No matter what, his father needed to be punished for his betrayal. Ethan could not allow his father’s actions to be swept under the rug as though they had never happened. A person must repay their debt to the hearts that have been betrayed, before asking to be forgiven.

  “What’s the deal, E? My parents are having a cow about my grades and your being here will only add to the problem. Let’s shake the spot for a while and cruise around, dude. You down?”

  “Yeah, I’m down with that. Let’s go!”

  The two boys jumped in Ethan’s car and rode out with the music low and no particular destination in mind.

  “Aye, E you wanna go to the lake and chill for a minute.”

  “Yeah! That sounds cool, Bear. Is anybody raging there tonight?”

  “There might be some people there. You remember that dude, Jake, who lost his scholarship for selling pot?”

  “Oh yeah. He was the first-string varsity quarterback when we were freshmen. What ever happened to that dude?”

  “Man, E, that dude is bad news now. He’s got a whole bunch of losers he hangs with and he’s been in and out of jail since he lost his scholarship. He’s probably gonna be there tonight with his crew, but they usually have a whole bunch of older chicks there. So, it should be cool.”

  “Bear, you sound like you’ve been there with them before?”

  “Yeah, I bought some pot from him for my party and he had me meet him there.” “You’ve been smoking pot, Bear?”

  “Naw, I haven’t been smoking. It was for some chicks. You know how they get off on that stuff, man. So, I scored some, but when I offered it to the chicks, they turned me down. I was kinda mad because one of the girls I offered it to is a straight burn out. Get this, Dog! She was trying to quit. The night I got action at scoring, she’s cool on smoking! And she had to go home early.”

  Ethan laughed. “Man Bear, you got all round bad luck when it comes to the ladies. Who was she?”

  “Burn out Rachel.”

  “Oh yea, burn out Rachel is a freak for some weed, Bear! Last time I saw her she was looking for fat Freddie.”

  “She was? Aw man, I’m gonna have to give her a call now. I still got that pot I scored.”

  The two boys were laughing hard as they enter the parking lot for the lake. Several cars were there already. They had found a party on a weekday.

  “E! Act like you’re already high so we don’t look like a bunch of lame-o’s to the older chicks.”

  Ethan looked at Barry like he was crazy.

  “Man, we don’t have to impress chicks like that. They will be impressed with how cool we are. Man, Bear, what’s wrong with you? Do you know who you’re with?”

  “E, these chicks aren’t like that, man. They’re older. They don’t care that we’re high school football stars.”

  “Man, Bear, just follow me and watch my lead.”

  Barry shook his head and shrugged his shoulders as he followed Ethan through the entrance to the park. The chill in the air raised the hair on their arms, but the sound of laughter began to warm them up with the anticipation of something new. The way Barry thought they needed to pretend to be high to hang out with some cool chicks. Crazy, Ethan thought.

  “What’s up, Jake?” Ethan said walking into the crowd.

  Jake stared at Ethan as though he had been insulted. The crowd fell silent with the introduction of the two strangers. The tension grew as everyone stood there watching.

  “Do I know you, man?” Jake said focusing on the young boy even more.

  “Yeah!” Ethan replied defensively, “we used to play football together.”

  Jake stared harder until his frown became a smile.

  “Yeah, I do remember you. You’re that kid who went all-state last year. You were junior varsity when I was there. What are you doing here on a school night, kid?”

  “Oh, we were just looking to hangout and relieve some stress. Nothing too big.”

  Jake let out a laugh, “Kid, you’re in the wrong place for that. We ain’t trying to get caught babysitting some young punks. You two go find somewhere else to relieve some stress.”

  Clearly offended, Ethan lowered his brow trying to figure out where the disrespect was coming from. He moved in closer, walking two or three steps toward Jake before saying,

  “Look man we came to the lake to hang out. Now if you’re gonna be a bitch about it, then we’re cool with you, but we ain’t leaving the lake because you said so.”

  Jake seemed to take Ethan’s defensiveness in stride, masking his own offense with a chuckle. “Aw, look everybody, the little boy wants to play.” The tense group no longer silent began to giggle. “Alright quarterback boy, you can hang, it’s cool.”

  Ethan wasn’t used to people laughing at him, and he wasn’t going to allow it to go unpunished. “Hold on man. Who are you calling a boy? You can’t tell me when or where to do nothing. You’re nothing!”

  Ethan swung, hitting Jake hard in the face. It was clear after a few blows that Jake was no match for the star athlete. Under the rain of punches Jake pulled something to even the fight. A piercing pain shot through Ethan’s abdomen into his back. Screams erupted from all around him. A bright light flashed in the night, then all Ethan could see was red and blue lights, and shadows moving everywhere.

  “It’s the cops! It’s the cops!” A woman’s voice screamed out. Barry’s face came into focus, obscuring the flashing lights and fleeing shadows. Ethan blacked out.

  “Doctor Katz, please report to the E.R.” With unusual effort, Ethan opened his eyes. He saw his mother sleeping in a chair by the foot of the bed, and tubes running from various parts of his body. It was too much to process. He forced himself back asleep.

  Rio was standing next to Jake. Ethan called to her, with no response. He ran toward her, she had to know she was in danger, but the faster he ran the further away she stretched. She took Jake’s hand and yelled, “I never loved you Ethan!”

  Ethan’s throat was dry when he woke to the sun piercing his eyes. Alone in his room he tried to sit up, but the pain was too much. A fool’s punishment for attacking a thug. He’d acted in such a lowly and undignified manner. In frustration he grabbed the button by his bed to call for a nurse.

  A cheerful woman enters the room. “Hello there, you’re awake! Your family and your girlfriend are still here. All sorts of people have been calling to see if you’re ok. You’re a big celebrity around here! I’m going to need to help you to sit up, so I can look at your wound.”

  Ethan was still trying to process what was happening, the path he normally walked had been severely altered.

  “You said my girlfriend is here?” His dry, raspy voice was moistened with the taste of his own sweet blood.

  “Don’t try to speak too much right now. You’ve been out for almost twenty hours. Yes, your girlfriend is outside with your mom and dad. They’ll be in here shortly. Oh, this wound needs to be cleaned. I’m going to have to change these bandages.”

  The cleaning solution burned like hot coals pressed into already angry wounds. Ethan forced his mind to drift to his sweet Rio manifesting herself from the heavens so that she could be with him at this moment.

  “Alright,” the nurse said, pulling him from his trance. “All done. Now I’m going to let your family come in here to see you. They can’t stay long because you need your rest. I’ll be back in a second.” The impenetrably perky nurse left the room. “Dude,” Barry said as he ran to Ethan’s sid
e. “Man, I was worried you were gonna die. The cops got that dude Jake and he is in jail where he belongs. I told them everything. I can’t believe what he did man. I’m sorry for asking you to go there. How do you feel bro?” Ethan heard his friend’s question, but his eyes were locked on his love.

  “Are you alright, E?” Barry said with growing concern.

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine Barry…. just a little sore. Did I get him good before he stuck me?”

  “Dude, it all happened so fast, but you were whooping him; he only hit you one time. I came rushing in when I saw him pull the knife, but by the time I got there he took off running. The cops were quick on the scene like somebody had already called. Dude ain’t cool for that, E.” “Yeah,” Ethan sighed. “That wasn’t cool what he did, but I was stupid for trying to fight him. Should have just walked away. I almost lost my life.” He swallowed the silence as the depth of his admission sunk in. His love walked closer to be by his side.

  “I’m just glad you’re okay,” she said reaching over and grabbing his hand gently. “When I heard what happened I was scared that you were going to die. I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you.” She sat on the bed and rested her head on his shoulder, her sobs muffling on his neck.

  Aware that the lovers wanted to be alone, Barry stood up. “I’m going to grab something to eat. Do you guys want anything?”

  “Naw, man,” Ethan replied, holding Rio close with one arm. “We’re cool bud, thanks.”

  “It’s no problem, E, it’s no problem. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  The door closed leaving the couple in the room alone.

  “I’m alright, sweetheart, I’m alright.” He assured her, stroking her hair as the intensity of her cries increased.

  “Ethan, you just don’t know how much you mean to me. Last night I felt you. I knew that something was wrong. I called your house and your Mom told me that you were gone, and she didn’t know when you’d return. I told her it was important that I talk to you and asked that she please tell you that I called. When I told her my name, she promised you’d get my message as soon as she talked to you. I sat alone in my room waiting for your call. As the endless hours passed I fell asleep for a few moments and awoke to a pain in my back that wouldn’t go away. I called your house again and your father answered. He told me there had been an accident. I was so scared, baby. The pain in my back still won’t go away.” Her head drifted from his neck to his chest where her tears stained his hospital gown. His actions had caused this. How could he have been so stupid? The door opened slowly as Ethan’s parents entered. Barry came in behind them and gently pried Rio from Ethan’s chest. Ethan watched his love, wondering why Barry was taking her away, without question. Something was wrong.

  “I’m sorry, honey,” Ethan’s dad said to Rio, wiping a few tears from his eyes. “You two kids go get some rest and come back later.”

  Ethan wondered how many other tragic scenes had unfolded in this sterile room. How many had felt this impending fear?

  “Alright, Mr. Smith,” Barry said, “I’ll take Rio home and come back later. Alright, E, rest up man.”

  Rio blew a kiss and waved softly. The door closed behind them. Ethan’s father took a deep breath, his chest broadening as he spoke. “Ethan, how are you feeling?”

  “I’m – I’m feeling fine, Dad. As a matter of fact, I was wondering when I can leave.”

  His Dad’s lips pursed. “Son, you are very lucky. The blade of that kid’s knife missed severing your spinal cord by only a few centimeters. You could have been paralyzed.”

  “Dad, tell me what’s the problem? What’s going on?”

  The older man looked away, in a moment unable to face his son but slowly he brought his eyes back to his young prince. “Son, you were in surgery for a long time. The doctors did everything they could to relieve the pressure on your spine. It’s a miracle that you’ll be able to walk. There’s no easy way to say this. The doctors say that you will never safely be able to play football again. Now that’s not to say it’s the end of the…”

  Everything else from there moved in an inaudible slow motion. He heard his father’s voice but couldn’t comprehend his words. His mother’s sobbing seemed far away. You’ll never be able to play football again. The words echoed, as if repetition would make them comprehensible. You’ll never be able to play football again… You’ll never be able to play football again! Why? Why? He thought.

  “Why?” He screamed out loud. A single tear crept down his father’s face. “I’m sorry son, I’m sorry.”

  Ethan closed his eyes and for the first time in many years he prayed because he didn’t know what else to do. He hoped that somehow, he would open his eyes and be in his bed at home. But sadly, when he opened them, the nightmare persisted.

  Spring Love

  On a sunny winter day Ethan found himself smiling, happy to finally be leaving the hospital. The doctors and nurses were amazed by his progress. He still had more physical therapy to undergo, but he was walking. Through sheer will and determination Ethan was able to walk, but he struggled with the notion that he would not regain the ability to play football. In the car, Ethan’s mind drifted to memories of Rio and how she’d been with him at the hospital every day; reading to him, playing new music, keeping him up to date on the things happening at school. But most importantly, she was there sharing her love. The night he asked her to be his girlfriend her beauty had captivated him, and he was lulled by the song of her voice, barely able to understand the words for the melodic hypnosis he was under. Pulling himself from her siren song, he spoke more from his heart than he’d ever done. Her response was not what he expected.

  “I already am your girlfriend! I don’t understand.”

  By definition she was, so what was he asking her? He thought for a moment, investigating his intentions. He wanted her to be his and his alone. He uttered what was on his mind and the look on her face scared him. She seemed to pull back, a flash of fear dashed across her face.

  “What?” He asked, “What’s the problem?”

  She smiled showing a deep understanding for Ethan. “Oh, honey, I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to worry about losing me. I’m not going to leave you.”

  “But will you be mine, Rio?”

  She placed her hand over his heart. “Ethan, I have troubled your heart, which is something I never wanted to do. You must understand that love can never be yours to own. Love comes and goes like day and night. You and I both love many different things and in time we will love new things. For me to promise my love to you, for you to own, is something I cannot do. Right now, at this moment, I love you so much and I will be back tomorrow to love you some more. You don’t need to place an official title on our relationship, honey. Our relationship is ours and there is no need to define it for others. Your relationship with someone else is your relationship with them.”

  He kissed her tenderly, as she smiled back, holding her secret safe, deep in her heart.

  As his family drove him home from the hospital, Ethan found himself dwelling on his conversation with Rio. Fear caused him to relate his passion with ownership. He’d learned long ago that to love something was to possess it as his own. Yet again, Rio had shifted his consciousness and opened his mind to new ways of looking at the world around him.

  “Well, we’re home son,” Ethan’s dad remarked as he turned the car engine off. “Do you need help getting out of the car? Matter of fact, I’m not thinking. I’ll help.”

  “I’m alright Dad, I got it.” His dad’s voice had refocused Ethan’s mind on the situation at hand. Opening the door, Ethan stepped back into reality.

  Sharp pains shot through Ethan’s body as he struggled to get out of the car. Spurred forward by the sight of his house and the thought of his own bed, he stepped carefully, trying not to fall. His father walked close by, offering a sense of security that Ethan thought had been lost since that day in the motel parking lot. They stepped
through the front door and, “Surprise!” Ethan’s mind was fuzzy from the medication as he worked to process the scene before him. In his living room stood friends, family, some of his teachers, and in the center, Rio, her smile a beam of love reflecting all he felt inside for her. Buoyed by the warm reception of love and support from all who loved him, Ethan’s energy picked up and he welcomed a momentary distraction from all the thoughts swirling though his mind.

  After few hours that saw people coming and going, all welcoming him back home and wishing him a speedy recovery, Ethan was relieved that the evening seemed to be coming to an end. He wanted some time to be alone with Rio before she’d have to leave. It had been her idea to plan all of this for him. His mother who had been beside herself with grief yet overjoyed by his recovery, welcomed the idea and helped plan the party. Ethan found himself hypnotized, watching Rio help his mother clean. Every move she made seemed designed to entrance him.

  “Rio.” He called to her, feeling himself drawn toward her, but too exhausted to move.

  “Yes, honey, what do you need?”

  Goosebumps rippled up and down his arms in waves. She was so close. He could feel her breath tickle his face; smelling its sweet scent. He impulsively pulled her to him, kissing her soft, perfect lips. Lost in a moment he wished would never end, Rio pulled away. Her tender smile. In her eyes he thought he saw eternity.

  “Rio, let’s go outside for a minute.”

  She took his hand. “I’d go anywhere with you.”

  With some effort, Ethan took the few steps to the front porch. The wind howled, dominating the quiet street. Holding hands, they watched the fast-moving clouds change their forms overhead.

  “I love you.” He said quietly, still looking toward the sky.

  “I love you, too.” She said, looking at him.

  Feeling a call, he turned to meet her eyes. The bliss he’d seen in them such a short time ago shifted to something dark and ominous. Where had the love of his life gone? Instead of the tender, caring person who’d spent days at his side, Ethan saw only confusion, betrayal, hatred and envy swirling in the windows to her soul, each dark emotion fighting for position and control. The smile he loved so dearly had been replaced as well. A devious look surfaced from deep within her. What was he seeing? He blinked to clear his eyes, hoping for the return of his love.