“He’s not Oliver, Chris.”
“I know, Kelly, but after meeting his dad, I just know we are meant to help him. At the very least we can show him a little compassion and decency. We can show him that one day his life can be different, that his future doesn’t have to be so grim.”
I heard my mom sigh. “Okay…of course your right. I don’t know how I could be so selfish. We should do whatever we can for him, poor thing, he’s practically a baby.”
“You’re not selfish, Kelly, you are a protector also, and I know you just want keep Haven safe. It’s only natural after losing Oliver, but we can’t let fear dictate our actions.”
“All right, what can we do to help him?”
“Unfortunately, I don’t think there is anything we can do about his living situation. On the way to his house Fin told me his mom died when he was three and that he has no other relatives.”
“Hmm, it’s strange that he volunteered so much information to you. He seemed so tight lipped about his home life at dinner.”
“I imagine he knew what I would think when I met his dad. He is a very intuitive little boy. I would be willing to bet he is well aware of what goes on inside the United Administration's orphanages. “
“If he knows even a little of what happens there, he will know he is most likely better off with an abusive parent than living under the care of the U. A. Has your legal team made any progress in convincing President Liu to let churches take over the care of orphans?”
“No, and it seems like every petition we draft just creates more friction between the church and government. I am afraid if we keep trying, we will just make the church into an even bigger target for the government. It would appear that President Liu is very fond of her orphanages.”
“What Liu is fond of is the economic surplus her orphanages maintain. I just don’t understand how so many people are willing to turn a blind eye to the suffering of the children who have become wards of the U. A.”
I quietly crept back to my bed and laid awake most of the night considering what I had heard. I tried to make sense of it all, but there were just too many unanswered questions. So, I picked what most confused me, and later that week, I asked my mom who Oliver was. Her eyes filled with tears that never spilled over, she sat on the couch and, gathered me up in her lap. Then in a slightly choked voice, she told me about Oliver. She said that two years before I was born her and Daddy had a little boy named Oliver, and he was precious, and beautiful. Her gaze looked far away when she said that daddy has always had a special gift, to be able to read people and know what their gifts are. Oliver would have been a protector, but two months after he was born, he got very sick and died. I asked her, “What kind of sick did he get?” She said the doctors told them that Oliver’s, brain swelled, and he had a seizure, but they never could explain to them what had caused it. I asked her if I had a gift, she gave me a squeeze and smiled down at me. “Daddy says you are a seeker.”
“What’s that?” I asked, somewhat disappointed. It didn’t sound nearly as cool as a protector.
“It is a person who is compelled by something inside them to seek out the truth. A seeker wants the answers to life’s mysteries and has no problem challenging what some people consider common knowledge, in order to find the truth. They are usually very curious and highly intelligent.”
“Hmm, I guess that’s an okay gift.” Mom gave a light laugh and kissed my forehead.
Seeker or not, my seven, year old self was overwhelmed with too much tragic information, and after she told me Oliver’s story, I didn’t even want to ask my mom what was so bad about Fin’s dad.
I never heard my parents talk about Oliver again. Fin, however, started visiting nearly every day. Once school started Fin would come to my house after school and we would do our homework as quickly as possible, then we would play outside in my yard until dark. Most nights, Fin stayed for dinner, and soon he was practically, family.
The next summer Fin took me and my dad on a guided tour of the trail system surrounding our house. After which, he agreed to let me hike in the woods as long as I was with Fin and we didn’t go past the creek at the two, mile marker. We spent nearly every day in the woods building our secret fort, overlooking the creek. We decided it was the perfect spot, because there was a break in the forest canopy, above a small bluff. The sun came through in ethereal rays that made the spot seem magical. We made walls with sticks we gathered and chairs out of logs we had to roll through the woods because they were too big to carry. We even found an old tarp in my garage, that we used for a roof. Fin and I were both experts at tadpole catching, the floor of our fort was lined with old bowls and mason jars filled with tadpoles in various stages of metamorphosis. My dad made his way out to our secret fort one afternoon. We reluctantly let him have a look around. He had a huge grin when he, said he was going to have to start calling us the frog prince and princess. I rolled my eyes while Fin muttered under his breath, “That is why grownups are not allowed in secret forts.” Our fort was our pride and joy, until hurricane Fiona came that September and destroyed every last bit of it. We never did find the tarp. I was completely devastated. Fin remained unshaken in the face of what I considered to be a monumental catastrophe. I will always remember his serious eyes looking into mine as he grabbed my hands and said, “There will always be storms, Haven, but we get choose whether we let them destroy us or help us to come back stronger.” I stared at him in awe, as I whispered, “Let’s come back stronger.” He grinned at me, and we started clearing away the debris from our perfect spot.
First thing that Saturday morning, Fin was at the door with a huge smile. We ran upstairs to my room, and he excitedly pulled something from his pocket. It looked like a wrinkled, green, grapefruit. I reached to touch its bumpy skin as he held it out for me.
“What is it?”
“This is how we are going to build an indestructible fort. It’s the fruit from a Bodock tree.”
“What kind of tree?”
“Bo-dock” He said more slowly, though still in his slight country boy twang.
“How are we going to build our fort with this?”
He tossed the fruit in the air and caught it with his right hand. “It’s a two, part plan. First, I’m going get us some wood from the Bodock trees down by the lake. We can build a small temporary fort with the wood I get. But this little piece of fruit from the tree, it probably has a hundred seeds in it. So, for the second part of the plan, we are going to plant the seeds, and they will grow into a living fort that will be bigger, and last longer than our lifetime.”
“I want to go with you to get the wood.”
“You can’t, it is way past the two, mile marker. There is no way your dad’s gonna let you go all the way out to the lake.”
“Well then let's use a different kind of wood for the temporary shelter. That way I can help.”
“No, Bodock is the best, we need to use it trust me.”
“Why…what’s so great about it?”
“It’s super strong, and the little pieces are very flexible. Also, it doesn’t rot, and the bugs won’t eat it. Some people say it even keeps the bugs away.” Fin, said the last sentence, knowing that would be what won him the argument.
“All right, all right if it keeps the bugs away, I guess that’s what we should use. How long will it take for the permanent shelter to grow in?”
“It should be taller than us in five to seven years, and it will just keep growing from there. Most of them down by the lake are about forty feet tall.”
“Five to seven years! Are we even going to want a fort seven years from now?”
Fin grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me square in the eyes and with the child like faith of peter pan himself, said.
“Haven, it doesn’t matter how old we are. The fort is always gonna be our special place, just like we are always gonna be best friends. Don’t ever forget that.”
So, every Saturday Fin would come to our spot with a load of w
ood that he had tied to an old, half rusted out dolly. He must have dragged that thing back and forth twenty times through the woods, along the rooted trail. We used the bluff that was about six feet tall as our back wall. Then we made two walls out of the bodock wood. Those came out from the bluff to form a large triangle. For the roof we crisscrossed the smaller more flexible branches of the bodock, then covered it with layers of palmetto fronds. It was the beginning of March when we finally finished our new fort, though we waited until April to plant the bodock seeds. The trees would eventually grow to form the exterior walls that would make our structure permanent.
We probably spent a thousand hours playing at the fort. Our make believe, world was filled with pirates, mutineers, and the occasional damsel in distress. My preferred role was Awilda, the pirate queen. Occasionally I was Lady Anne, “in need of saving.” Fin steadfastly refused to let me save him. Even though I told him he didn’t have be girl. I argued that boys needed to be saved also, and he could be Lord Cuddleworth, “in need of saving." Though, looking back part of his refusal could have been due to the ridiculous name I came up with. Fin generally played the part of MacGregor, the fierce Scottish mutineer who led the ship’s crew to revolt against the savage and abusive Captain Winter. As MacGregor, he also rescued Lady Anne, from the evil captain who sometimes imprisoned her. Although, most of the time Awilda, sailed in on her pirate ship to fight alongside MacGregor, as they were old childhood friends.
I smile thinking about the bittersweet memories. Fin was right, our new fort was a hundred times better than the first one. I just wish he had been right about us always being best friends. We were inseparable until seventh grade, and though we no longer played pirates, the fort was still our special place. The first Saturday after the start of our seventh-grade year we were in the fort playing with my new holographic gaming watch. One minute we were laughing at the avatars we created for each other and then suddenly Fin was staring at me with a look that was somewhere between troubled and wistful. “What’s wrong?”
He looked down for a second, shook his head then looked back at me. “Nothing…it’s just that, I… I want to try something, but you’re the most important person in the world to me, and I don’t want to mess anything up.”
I giggled for a second before I said “God, Fin what do you want, to kiss me or something?” I saw his face turn bright red before he tucked his chin and muttered “Never mind, it was stupid anyway.” In that moment I realized a kiss was exactly what Fin had wanted. My face turned red.
With shame I realized I had just hurt my best friend with my stupid, unthinking words. In a moment of panic, I grabbed both sides of his face and lifted his chin then planted my lips on his. I don’t know how long we stayed like that. Long enough for me to know his lips were soft and warm and just a little wet. His hands came to my shoulders and he gently eased away. For a second, he had a goofy grin on his face, then, he cleared his throat and said, “You didn’t have to do that.” I looked into his bright green eyes and said earnestly. “I know, but I wanted to. Fin, nothing is ever going to mess us up. You’re my best friend and I care more about you than I ever could about some stupid boyfriend.”
Fin shrugged and gave me a lopsided grin. “Can’t I be your best friend that you care about and your stupid boyfriend who gets to kiss you?”
I laughed and smiled into the familiar face that I loved. “I suppose you can, but I would prefer you manage to be my boyfriend without being stupid.” We laughed and he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. It was nothing more than a soft, innocent brush of his lips. But for one breathtakingly sweet moment all was right in our little world. He lifted his lips, then pressed his forehead to mine and made his childhood vow to me. “I will always protect you Haven, no matter what, I won’t let anyone hurt you.” In that moment I believed him completely. Little did I know it would be the last time anything was right between us. Fin said he couldn’t come to dinner that night, because his dad needed his help at with some plumbing work on their trailer. So, we both left the fort in opposite directions towards our respective homes. I smiled as I walked, happy with the way things had turned out. It’s not, that I hadn’t ever thought of Fin as a potential boyfriend. It’s just that I always thought of him as so much more. Though, the kisses were a nice perk of having a boyfriend. It was comforting and sweet, and it made me feel grown up and pretty. To this day I still don’t understand how it all went so wrong.
Fin hadn’t come over to my house or been at school for two days, so I decided to hike to his trailer to check on him. I had never been there before, but I knew about where it was. I figured he had the stomach flu that was going around school. In all the years we were friends, I never met Fin’s dad. But I had the feeling he wasn’t the kind of dad who made chicken noodle soup when his kid was sick. So, I thought I would bring a thermos of soup over, to make him feel better. It seemed like a very girlfriend thing to do. When I got there, Fin was outside working in a small vegetable garden near the trailer. When he looked up, I gasped at sight of his face, and dropped the thermos to the ground. His right eye was purple, his lower lip was split and swollen and when I looked down, I noticed his forearms were covered in bruises. Tears immediately began to roll down my face as I ran to Fin.
“My God… Fin what happened?”
A storm of emotions flashed across his face so quickly I couldn’t pick any one out for sure. Anger, embarrassment, shame… I couldn’t really tell. Then I heard an angry voice bellow,
“Fin, get your ass in here and find the damn remote.” And it was definitely fear I saw in his eyes at that moment. He grabbed my hand and hurried me back to the trail.
“You have to leave now!”
I started to shake my head and dug my heals into the soft earth to pull to a stop, but he looked completely panicked.
“Please you gotta to go. You’ll just make it worse.”
“But…but I’m worried about you.” My voice trembled as I asked, “Did he do this to you?” though the answer was obvious. “Is he going to hurt you again?”
“Not right now, as long as he doesn’t see you here, so please go. Look I’ll come by later if I can. If not, I’ll be back in school in a couple of days.”
I leaned in and softly kissed his forehead. “I’m so sorry Fin.” Then I turned and ran down the trail crying the whole way home.
I left my window open that night hoping he would come by. I wanted to tell him to run away, that I would hide him in my house. I cried into my pillow half the night and spent the other half staring at the window screen hoping to see his face. But he never came. That Friday he was back in school the swelling in his lip was gone and the black eye had faded considerably. He wore long sleeves to cover his arms even though it was warm outside. I was so relieved to see him, but he avoided me. Every time I tried to get near him to talk, he would flee to his football teammates.
Finally, I cornered him alone one day and tried to get him to talk to me. I begged him to stop avoiding me and pleaded with him to let me help.
“Please Fin let me help you!”
“That’s the thing Haven I don’t need or want your help! So, what my dad’s a jerk sometimes. We can’t all be daddy’s little princess.” If you really want to help, just back off. You think just because we kissed once you get to have a say in how I handle my family issues.”
My face went pale, and I felt tears sting at the back of my eyes. “We kissed twice.” I said lamely my voice barely above a whisper.
He swirled his left pointer finger in the air. “Whoop de do! Look its time I started hanging out with the team more anyway. I’m tired of people thinking I follow you around like a dog.”
“No one thinks that!”
“Everyone thinks that! Look Haven we’ll hang out again. I just want some time with my other friends. I…I’m sorry if I confused you by kissing you. I never should have asked to be your boyfriend.”
I was so completely stunned. It felt like my whole world was tilting upside d
own. I know I was zoning out because Fin said something that I didn’t hear. Then he put his hands on my shoulders and looked into my plain Jane amber, brown eyes with his perfect sea green eyes and said. “I promise Haven, its better this way.”
Then the bell rang, and he walked away. I stumbled into the bathroom, hid in the stall, and cried until school was over.
We never hung out again. A month later Kirra moved to our school and she became my best friend. And eventually, I just stopped trying to hold onto Fin.
A nudge at my elbow breaks me from my reverie.
“Meet me tonight at the bridge by the creek?”
I am stunned by Fin’s request and I am seriously starting to wonder if my new body wash has been spiked with pheromones.
“I would but I already made plans with Jackson.”
“Please Haven I have a bad feeling about it. Don’t go.”
“What do you mean? Do you think he is deranged or something?”
There is no answer for a minute like he is deciding whether or not to divulge privileged information. I can hear Fin exhale again before he shoves the paper at my elbow.
“No. He is actually a really good guy. I don’t know how to explain it. I just have a bad feeling about you going to see Jackson. I think you should hang out with me instead.”
“You know when you stopped coming over it wasn’t just me who missed you. My parents… my dad especially, they thought of you as family. And you just erased us from your life, we all missed you. You know my dad always said you were a protector. It was supposed to be your special gift. Funny thing is I guess we needed protecting from you. No one ever hurt me more than you did when you decided we weren’t friends anymore.”
The minutes tick by as I wait on Fin’s response and I hear him clear his throat several times before I get his next note.
“Haven… I’m sorry you have no idea how much I have missed you, all of you. Please say you’ll forgive me and meet me tonight instead of Jackson.”
Half Dead World: Book One from the Apocalypse Tales Page 2
