It is a strange hollow feeling filled with grief and regret. It is not painful like what I felt that day in the church. But the absence of all light is both weightless and crushing at the same time. There is nothing here but the memories of all the wrongs I have done, that replay in my mind like mournful drama. I feel every sour word I have spoken and the impact I never knew it caused. Not with a physical pain, but like a pin prick to my soul. I can see things that have not happened yet, and things that happened long ago, all as a result of my, self-centered thoughtless actions and words. I see Lucius, desperate and crying out when he realizes, I am lost to the darkness. I see Violet as a girl in her room crying because of something snide I said to her, when we got into an argument in junior high. There are so many pin pricks that I wonder if there will be anything left of my soul.
I realize now the mercy that the light brings us, is ignorance to so much of the havoc we wreak. It is like a warm, beautiful blanket that shields us from seeing just how cold and ugly we are.
Chapter Sixteen
Lucius
I drop off Mr. Malone with the other watchers, then head to the boarder of the light, unable to take the questions about what happened to, Haven. I leave it to Mr. Malone to explain. I fall to my knees surrounded by light looking out over the darkness and beg.
“Please father I cannot bear to lose another. Please send her back or make it your will that I can go find her. “
I can hear the soft murmur of his voice answering me.
“It is not safe my son, you would be risking yourself.”
“I, accept that risk, I will gladly take it, if only I have your consent.”
I feel the strange sensation of tears running down my face. I know it cannot be, but if I did not know it was impossible for a soul to shed tears, I would swear I was sobbing.
“Please father I beg of you, grant me permission to try.”
“So Be It”
I am stunned, motionless for a second, then bolt to my feet. I whip around, intent on telling the other watchers my plan, to go find Haven. Instead, I find Michael standing before me. The massive hulking angel glows like gold set aflame. He holds up his massive hand as if to stop me, but I am already stopped. He puts his hand over my heart.
“He is well pleased with you.”
I feel energy course through me and a feeling that has been gone so long I barely recognize it at first. I feel a heartbeat. I am not alive, but not a spirit either. I can feel and touch. I still have an aura and move like a spirit, but I have the light of a believer.
“There is no time to tell the others. Go now there is not a moment to lose.”
I nod still awestruck by the moment. Two seconds later I am running into the darkness. I am not sure how it all works or how to get to Haven, so I just run in the direction of the fort. The darkness closes in on me, but I am not afraid. My heart, where Michael touched me is a glowing light in the darkness. I can see lost souls all around me they are suspended in the air about a foot off the ground. Their eyes are open, but they are motionless and look catatonic. Their eyes are all filled with sadness and despair. There are dozens of souls, people from different of eras of history, Native Americans, civil war soldiers, men in suits, a lady, in a wedding gown. They did not all die here, but it must be where the darkness overtook them all. I search, and search, and do not see, Haven. My hope starts to falter, until, something catches my eye. In the distance I see tiny pin pricks of color. It is the distinctive color of Haven’s aura. When I get close enough to see Haven, I notice she is separate from the rest, and though she to, is in a catatonic state, there are tiny holes of color that are uniquely, her own showing through her spirit. I sprint the rest of the way to her. I wrap my arms around her and am shocked when I realize I can actually touch her, but she doesn’t wake.
“Please Haven, come back to me.”
I repeat this like a mantra at least ten times. I look into her sad eyes and kiss her forehead, as I murmur against it again, and again.
“Please Haven, come back to me.”
I feel her stir, and step back holding her at arm’s length. She looks at me and crumples in tears.
“Oh Lucius, I am so sorry for all the hurt I caused you, can you ever forgive me.”
I crush her to my chest and laugh out loud.
“There is nothing to forgive.”
I hold her for a long moment, until she puts her hand on my chest, as realization dawns on her.
“Lucius, I can feel you…I can touch you…and…and, feel you touching me.”
I smile down at her.
“I could not explain it, even if I tried.”
“I suppose I can live with just calling this a miracle.”
I look into her eyes and do something I have wanted to do for many years. I lean down and kiss her. I am tempted to shut my eyes and just give into the sensation of feeling. But the sight of our auras colliding is too, beautiful to close my eyes on. My hands are in her hair holding her face to mine, when I hear someone clearing their throat behind me. I break the kiss and smile at her one last time, before turning around.
“That is enough of that”
We turn to see a man dressed in a white suit, light emanating from his bronzed features. His words are stern but there is a smile in his eyes.
“I am Ramiel, the angel sent to oversee souls, during the Day of Judgment.
Chapter Seventeen
The Shit and the Fan
The same twenty-four hours in the natural world.
I walk into the hanger back at Esler, only to find out that per President Lou’s order, all aircraft are on standby, and there will be no flights back to Bragg anytime soon. As I’m leaving, a sergeant named Wilcox approaches me and says there is an urgent message for me, from my ODA commander, and that I should wait here for someone to come and talk to me. I ask him what it’s about, and he says he doesn’t know. I can feel his nervousness, when he is speaking to me, and can see sweat beginning to bead on his forehead. Something is definitely off. If Captain Harkins had something to say, he would contact me directly. He would not inform me through, the sweaty, Sergeant Wilcox. The hair on the back of my neck stands up, and I know I’m in trouble. So, I tell him I’m going to have a smoke outside, while I wait. He nods his head, with obvious relief that I am complying, and his task is done.
Once outside, I move to the smoking area, which happens to be fifty yards from the building, near a wooded area. I am eternally grateful that no one else is currently out here. I would hate to have to harm an innocent bystander. I look around and see everyone is too busy to be paying attention, so I hop over the ten-foot, chain link fence and run to the tree line. I turn around to make sure no one saw me and see two MP vehicles pull up and four heavily armed MPs step out. I know they are here for me. I am not sure what has happened, but I know it’s bad. After one last look at the MPs, I turn and sprint through the woods. I head east, towards a country road up ahead. I need to find a car, and quick. As expected, the dirt road is desolate. I don’t want to chance being out on the road when they come looking for me, so I cross to the woods on the other side of the road and run along a four-wheeler path a few feet inside the tree line.
About a mile later I can see a clearing coming up. When I get to the edge, I see a nicely manicured lawn, with a swimming pool and a big house with a four-car garage. As I watch the house the garage door opens, and an SUV backs out of the driveway. I can see a mom a dad and two kids. After a quick prayer of thanks, I make my way to the house. I pick the lock and disable the alarm to the back door. I go through the mud room and into the kitchen. I move silently as I make my way upstairs. I pause at an open door. I can see the reflection of a teenage boy in the television screen. He is playing a virtual reality game so he can’t see or hear me. I move past his door and find the master bedroom. I go through the closet. It is clear, dad bod guys, pants are not going to fit. But I need something different than what I’m wearing now, and I need to cover up the tattoos that make me e
asier to identify. I take a dark brown leather Jacket, then, head back downstairs to the garage. In the garage I find a little red sports car and a very fast looking Kawasaki motorcycle. I opt for the motorcycle, for two reasons. One it gives me an excuse to cover my face with a helmet. Two, it’s almost a public service, dad bod, has no business being on something this fast…He is going to get himself killed.
I don’t even have to hotwire it. Next to the door, is a neat little row of hooks with the key dangling from it. Seconds later I’m off, and less than an hour later I am in Natchez, at Doc’s deciding what to do next. Doc gives his head a slight shake.
“Give it a few hours. You may have jumped the gun.”
“I’m telling you, Doc, something is going down. Why would they send four maximally armed MPs, to relay a message? Also, if there was a message, why wouldn’t Captain Harkins have called?”
Doc opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted when Helen comes crashing through the door.
“Turn on the TV.”
The wild eyed, panic on her face, has us complying without question.
We don’t have to find a news station, because all the channels are the same. An emergency report, the U.A. is preparing for war. Assassination attempts have been made on President Lui by operatives from multiple countries, and she has been moved to a secure facility, for her protection. Not only did the modified, corn, soy, and wheat seeds not produce expected yields, but apparently the seeds have begun contaminating other crops and either killing them or causing crop sterility. The CEO, CFO, and lead scientists of Agrisin, have all been tried, convicted, and executed. But most world leaders see Lui, as culpable as well, and want to see swift retribution. Doc turns off the TV, and he and Helen, both turn to look at me.
“I take it back…apparently you did not jump the gun. What’s your plan?”
“I’m going back to Bragg to find Abram, Weber, Crowder, Garcia and Ravani. We will try to make our way back here. It may take some time to get back here without leaving a trail.”
Helen just stares at us in shock, while Doc lets out a long exhale. He looks at her and gives her hand a squeeze.
“Go get Edie, babe…it’s time to go.”
She nods, slightly dazed, stands up and makes her way to the door. After she leaves, Doc hands me a gun, and an extra clip, then puts his hand on my shoulder.
“Be careful brother, you know where to find me, now get your ass out of here, time is wasting.”
I give him a wry smile and make my exit. As I’m leaving the trailer park, I see Helen and Edie in the side mirror of the motorcycle. Edie is walking next to Helen, and I notice they are about the same height. She is a teenager now, and not the shy small girl I first met. She should be scared of the unknown. I would expect to see her crying about leaving her dad behind. As horrible as he is to her, she still loves him. But that’s not Edie, her head is up, and her back is straight, as she carries the backpack filled with her few, personal belongings. The sun is shining on her stringy blond hair, giving her a halo effect. She looks like a little, Valkyrie going into battle.
I travel as quickly as I can, using as many back roads as possible. I stop no more than a few minutes at a time, at gas stations. After nine hours of traveling, my eyes are crossing, and I decide I need to stop. I pull off onto a deserted road and hide the bike in the shadows of the trees. It is almost completely dark so I should not be seen. I lean up against a tree and set my alarm for one hour from now.
It feels like as soon as I shut my eyes the alarm goes off. After I stand up and move around, I do feel better, and I have a renewed sense of urgency to get to my team. The last two hours of riding goes quickly. I sneak onto post in the darkness, thankfully what little moonlight there is, is being covered by clouds. I make my way to Crowder’s place and let myself in, there is a light on in his room and the door is cracked, but there is no sound. I push the door open with the barrel of the gun and see that I am too late. Crowder is face down on the bed a single entry wound to the back of his head. There is a naked blond with Crowder’s blood spatter on her face and three gunshot wounds to the chest next to him. My heart sinks, as I think about the hour I spent sleeping on the side of the road. Could I have made it here in time to save them? I’ve never met the woman. She was obviously just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I cover them before I leave, and head to Ravani’s place. It is only a couple of minutes away by foot. I creep around the side of his housing unit. I am ready to make my move when a hand covers my mouth. I feel the barrel of a gun at my temple. Then I hear a familiar Scottish brogue, whisper in the silence.
“Ye should nae have come back.
Rage floods my senses at the thought of the SAS being involved in Crowder’s death. I have worked with Kirkland and other members of his team on several occasions. While, we are not close, I always thought he was a decent guy, so there is a feeling of betrayal that makes my fury more intense. His hand eases from my mouth, but the gun is steady against my head.
“What the hell is going on here, and why is SAS involved in it?”
“Nae, SAS is na’ involved. Yer ODA was eliminated by Lui for knowing too much. Her, personal guard is lookin for ye now, so I’d rather nae take the time to chit chat. I cannae find Ravani, but he’s probably dead. Follow me, and I’ll give ye, what information I have.”
Kirkland moves the gun away from my head and stalks off into the night towards the tree line. I figure if he was here to kill me, I would already be dead, so I follow him. A few minutes later we are squeezing through a split he cut into the chain link fence at the border of the post. Once, we are in the woods, I grab him by the shoulder, and spin him around to face me.
“What the hell is going on here, and why are you involved in it?
He puts both his hands up in a gesture meant to calm me…it doesn’t.
“Nae, I’m na’ involved I’ve told ye. I came a week ago with Williams and McDonald. I was meant to fly out with them. But I met a pretty, little lass with a sweet little...agh good God man, could they all be so lovingly built.”
What little light there is reflects off his toothy grin. Fury rolls over me as I picture Crowder.
“In case you have already forgotten, that was Crowder over there with a bullet in his head.”
Kirkland matches my intensity, as he steps closer.
“And there is nothing ye can do about it now, so save yer righteousness. I stayed to make sure ye and the others would nae meet the same fate.”
I scowl at him, even as I recognize the truth in his statement. Then I murmur, mostly to myself.
“I don’t know how you could get any woman to take you home.”
Kirkland shrugs not at all offended by my statement.
“What cannae say, U.A. women have a weakness for a Scottish accent. I decided to stay an extra day. I was leaving her barracks discreetly, when I overheard Lou’s jobbies talking, bragging about how they thought CAG, was supposed to be hard to kill. It took me a while to find out where ye boys had housing. By the time I got here the team had already been executed, except for Ravani, Weber, Abram and ye. The four of ye, were nae where ye were supposed to be. Why is that?”
“We didn’t have a mission, so Captain Harkins gave me three days leave.”
“I think they started with Harkins, and dinnae ask any questions before shooting.”
“They tried to detain me at Esler, I knew something had gone sideways, but I would never have imagined they would take out the team. I should have called, but I knew I was in trouble, and it would be monitored…I didn’t want to implicate them. I didn’t know the others left… Abram, and Weber, will be together. Do you have a phone? I tossed mine.”
He hands me his phone. Though, I am certain whatever I send will be seen by the U.A. I send a quick message to Ravani. The team is being hunted…you should seek medical attention elsewhere for your wounds…I love you brother. Then I send another to Abram, and Weber. The team is being hunted…don’t come back…ma
ybe your love will conquer all. They are vague clues at best to get to Doc Love’s place, but it is the best I can do. I hand Kirkland his phone back, he sends a message to someone, then promptly destroys his phone.
“You’re not going to be able to get back home. The world has just gone to war against the U.A.”
“I’ve seen the news…The whole world is on fire…any suggestions?”
I have a moment of internal debate, before letting out a long exhale.
“I know a place where we can go.”
Epilogoue
World on Fire
I know it’s not what Kirkland meant more than three weeks ago when he said it, but truer words were never spoken. The whole world is on fire. My team was assassinated for nothing, because nothing could hold back the news, of the U.A.’s deceit.
Roughly thirty eight percent of the world’s land mass is agricultural. Much of that has been infected with what has now been deemed, the suicide seeds. The burning started, the day after Kirkland and I left Bragg. It has complicated our journey, mostly on foot, to get to Doc’s place. The air is filled with smoke and ash. From what information I can glean as we make our way south, it is the same story worldwide. Massive, crop burnings, have taken place, to try and stop the spread of the suicide seeds The U.A. is in chaos, there has been looting and violence, to the point where I can only assume anyone we see, is out to do us harm. Most of the law-abiding citizens are in hiding, while thugs roam the streets. As the fires spread over the earth… madness has come with it.
Half Dead World: Book One from the Apocalypse Tales Page 16
