by Chris Norton
I always felt nervous when giving a speech or a presentation, but I’d taken a lot of speech classes and done theater in high school, so it wasn’t extreme or unhealthy. Whenever I spoke about my injury and recovery, the room would go silent, no one moved or fidgeted, and it seemed as if everyone held their breath as they watched me with watery eyes. It was like nothing I had seen before, and the experience opened my eyes to the appeal of my story.
Our first family vacation after my injury was taken during spring break, and I was nervous about being a nuisance on our trip to Florida. Fortunately, my roommate, Richie, came along to help, and we quickly discovered that wheelchairs didn’t work in the sand. Richie did everything he could to push me in my chair, but we gave up after fifteen feet. The hotel told my mom they had a public beach chair with giant inflatable rubber tires that rolled smoothly over the sand. While we did encounter some challenges, overall we had a really nice time.
Every day I learned ways to adapt to situations, like going to the beach, maneuvering stairs, and flying on airplanes. My friends were great about pushing me to try new things, like floating down the river. When they first suggested the outing, I told them no way. I was scared of getting hurt, but they said they’d make it work by getting a raft that had a backrest, sat low in the water so it wouldn’t tip over, and by hanging on and not letting go. It sounded crazy, and my parents thought the same, but my friends insisted.
The trip was nerve racking. We had to park a long way from the access spot, so my friends had to carry me to the river. Getting the raft set up was stressful and strenuous on everyone, but once we got situated, the water felt great. I was nervous at first and remained adamant that someone stay on each side of me, but it didn’t take long to realize how stable and comfortable the ride was and how little need there was to worry.
Floating along with my friends by my side felt normal and liberating. I blended in and looked and felt like anyone else on the water, relaxing and enjoying the outdoors—something I hadn’t been able to do much since my injury. It felt wonderful to be out in the sun and yet not get dangerously hot, as the water kept my body from overheating. Tubing down the river was one of the best experiences I had since my injury, and made me realize that sometimes, out of fear, I over-reacted to things that weren’t a big deal.
I had established a firm trust in my friends, and in the end, that trust overruled my anxiety and enabled me to try a new experience. Not everything in life was accessible, but with a little brainpower and some brawn, I didn’t have to miss out. Trying new things, and taking leaps of faith with my friends and family by my side, helped pave the way to my future.
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I have learned a lot from Chris over the last nineteen months, primarily about faith and trust. What it means to believe there is a plan for you when you go six weeks without being able to move your legs or nineteen months without walking. About perseverance—having to work for hours on end both in school and therapy to try and get a little better each day. About perspective—realizing all of the blessings we have and we take for granted, and appreciating the little things in life, and that the word “can’t” really means “won’t.” Because the fact is that there is nothing you “can’t” accomplish with faith in God, prayer, and determination. A good friend of mine recently said it best. “Chris just won’t be denied!”
~Terry Norton, CaringBridge, May 31, 2012
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ON THE one-year anniversary, while Deb and I wished Chris had never been hurt, we couldn’t ignore all the blessings that had occurred along his journey. We looked back at our lowest point on the day Chris got hurt, and we realized the positives had simply multiplied since that horribly uncertain time. Whether it was the medical professionals at Mayo who touched his life, the strangers who renewed our faith in humanity, the friends who kept us afloat, the opportunity for his return to college, the therapists he found in Decorah, his beloved nurse Nancy, his sisters’ sacrifices, his college friends’ dedication, the list went on and on. Along with the progress he’d made, we focused on the blessings of the people put in our path.
We communicated with either Chris or Alex daily through text. We didn’t talk on the phone much because they were so busy, and typically with Chris, communication was feast or famine. When he had a lot of stuff going on, we didn’t hear from him often. When he was on a roll about something with school or rehab, we’d hear from him multiple times a day. It was nice to have Alex there to fill in the gaps.
As a testament to his hard work and effort, Chris made the dean’s list his spring semester of 2012. We were really proud of him because we knew the extra things he went through every day just to make it to class. Everybody else at Luther rolled out of bed and off they went, but Chris had to start his day an hour early, and it took him a lot more time to take a test and to complete his schoolwork. We never expected him to hold that high standard during his entire college career, but it was something to be proud of because we knew what it took for him to achieve it.
To be honest, Chris’s success in college changed my perspective in general. In my job as an educator, whenever I encountered students who had thousands of excuses why assignments didn’t get done, I had little patience knowing how hard Chris worked to be successful. Life is difficult, and those who do well put in the time because they want to succeed. Chris never focused on excuses, he focused on making things happen, and if he could do it, so could anyone else.
One of the things Deb and I talked about when Chris returned to college was that he couldn’t be under the microscope all the time—he was still a college kid. With all of the attention he received, we didn’t want him to be held to unrealistic high standards when he was a nineteen-year-old student who was going to make mistakes. He was in a position to demonstrate some of his better qualities and be a role model, but he wasn’t perfect, and we didn’t want anyone having unfair expectations of him.
Chris worked diligently to become more independent. He wanted to be able to go to the wellness center, the student union, and the cafeteria on his own whenever possible, and having specific goals helped motivate him. There were little hills and different areas he began navigating himself, and Luther also recognized the locations where needed improvements would help his accessibility. It was a big deal for him to be able to get around campus on his own.
By February of Chris’s second semester of college, as he got stronger and continued recovering, and his friends learned his system and needs, Alex was able to start paring back her time with him. All along, our plan was that between his friends and his recovery, he’d eventually transition out of her care. That was a good sign of his progress, and it allowed Alex to get a part-time job in a doctor’s office.
Going back and forth to Mayo twice a week was wearing on Alex and Chris because they were giving up three hours a day every time they made the trip. Between the lost time, his progressing past the need for Mayo’s specialized equipment, and becoming more comfortable with Lisa Kreig at Euro-Team and what she was able to do with him, it seemed logical for Chris to transition to Lisa full time at the end of his first year back at school. He also received excellent OT from Jennessa Luzum at Winneshiek Medical Center in Decorah. Mayo remained his medical and therapeutic headquarters.
The second year was a lot harder for Alex because the friends she’d made at Luther had graduated. At the same time, Chris’s friends were taking on more and more responsibility for his care, and Chris needed her less and less. With only a part-time job in a doctor’s office keeping her in Decorah, and her family, friends, and boyfriend back home, by the end of Chris’s second year at school, Alex was ready to come home.
Alex never expected praise for helping Chris, and she never begrudged living in Decorah because she did it out of love for her brother and knowing there was no way we could have gotten him back to college without her. She taught his friends how to care for him, drove him back and forth to Mayo, and did a thousand other things too numerous to list. When she moved
back home, I couldn’t help but feel a little worried about Chris being in Decorah without family. What if he got sick? What if he wanted to come home for a weekend? His needs changed, Alex needed to get on with her life, and I had to trust that Chris would be fine on his own.
In the end, I think Alex’s time with Chris made her a better nurse. She understood what a family went through, not just from the medical side, but also the accompanying emotions and the importance of hope in a patient’s recovery.
Alex wasn’t the only one who benefited from helping Chris. One of the moms on the football team really touched my heart when she said she loved watching the interaction of the young men attending Luther and how they took care of and supported Chris. She thought it made them all more compassionate, and I think she was right. I liked to think that being around Chris every day helped his friends have a better appreciation for the disabled or someone battling an injury. I think the ripple effect among his friends and acquaintances was huge, as I personally believe serving others impacts everyone for the better.
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“These guys were so good to Chris and always willing to help him in many ways. They drove the van, helped him daily, and also helped him with his wheelchair on campus getting to classes in all kinds of weather. They truly played the role of big brothers. I often thanked them for what they were doing for Chris. They were an important part of Chris’s recovery.”
~ Luann Smith, Retired Luther Employee
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Chris’s friends were just phenomenal because they helped him have the college experience that everybody else did, and that was something Deb and I always tried to focus on when we’d start to feel bad. We’d think about the college student who was depressed, or suicidal, or miserable because they were lonely. Chris had hundreds of friends who loved him, cared about him, and took care of him. Despite his physical limitations, in many respects he was better off than a “normal” student whose problems remained undetected. Deb and I couldn’t have asked for kinder, more caring friends for Chris than the special group of guys at Luther.
Our blessings continued when Coach Mike Durnin told us personally that Chris had won the 2011 America’s Choice Honoree for Courage in Sports award. Of course, we couldn’t reveal the winner until they announced it on the CBS Early Show.
After a lot of consideration, I went to Lauren Price from Intersports, the company out of Chicago that put on the award, and told her that it was planes, trains, and automobiles for us to get Chris from school and fly to New York for only one day, and that we really needed our two daughters to come along because Chris’s story was about family. To make a long story short, Intersports flew our entire family of five out to New York City, we stayed three nights, and they had two vehicles pick us up at the airport and stay with us during the trip. Intersports totally took care of us when they recognized the importance of us being together.
Our trip to New York City was Chris’s first time on an airplane since his injury, and we were a little nervous about the logistics. We checked his chair at the door, they transferred him to a narrow chair that fit down the aisle, and Alex transferred him from the aisle chair to the airplane seat. Flying to New York really proved to us that there was nothing we couldn’t do with a little planning.
All five of us appeared on the CBS Early Show. After we went through hair and makeup, mics were attached. Then they revealed Chris as the winner, showed some footage, and interviewed Chris and our family. While there was just one person interviewing us, there were probably fifteen or twenty people present on the set that day. When the interview was over, everybody clapped. Lauren from Intersports said she’d never seen anything like that before.
Our next stop was the Rutgers vs. Army game at Yankee Stadium. Lauren had worked with the New York Yankees to give us a tour of their facilities, as well as an opportunity to meet Eric LeGrand and his family who were in town for the Rutgers game. The Yankees also gave Chris a ball signed by Mariano Rivera, lighting him up from ear to ear. The Yankee organization couldn’t have treated us better.
We met Eric LeGrand and his family at the stadium, and I couldn’t possibly describe that surreal experience. Chris and Eric couldn’t have looked more different on paper. Chris was a white kid from the Midwest playing Division III ball, and Eric was an African American kid from New Jersey playing Division I ball. Yet, they had so much in common. Our families instantly connected—Chris with Eric, Deb with Eric’s mom, and Alex with Eric’s sister—drawn together by an almost palpable force in the room.
Lauren kept telling us we had to leave, but nobody wanted to break the connection. Eric and Chris got hurt the exact same day, on the exact same play, and they’d been through so many of the same experiences. Eric had a very tight knit family like ours, and his family was a big part of his story. There was a vibe in that room, a closeness that was hard to describe.
When we finally broke apart, we continued our whirlwind sightseeing circuit. In a three-day period, we’d appeared on the CBS Early Show, went to Times Square, toured Yankee Stadium, visited the National September 11 Memorial, and from Battery Park, we saw the Statue of Liberty. The impromptu tour of the Today show capped a fantastic weekend in New York City.
When spring break rolled around in March 2012, we decided to get out of cold Iowa and head to sunny Florida. After traveling to New York, we were familiar with the logistics, like making sure we had a handicap-accessible room and arranging home healthcare. The trip went really well, and it proved that with a little planning, we could still have great family vacations and do the things we wanted to do.
I felt honored to be a guest speaker at Luther Senior Athletes Awards Ceremony in the spring of 2012. All of the senior athletes were aware of Chris’s injury, especially the football players, and I really wanted to make an impact on the fine group of young athletes. I practiced and practiced and really prepared for the presentation where I told the seniors to make the most out of their lives and not to settle for less. I felt really good about the speech because I spoke from the heart, and it was very emotional. Later, Chris told me that one of his marketing professors told him it was the best speech he’d ever heard in his life.
As we got further along in Chris’s recovery, I changed my mind and wanted to talk to the people who’d reached out earlier about their spinal cord injuries, the same folks I’d politely put off after Chris’s injury when I wasn’t ready to face the reality of his future. I contacted Greg Young, a gentleman from Chicago who’d suffered two spinal cord injuries, and whose son played football for Central College. I ended up communicating with him a lot. I also spoke to Tyson Gentry, the Ohio State football player who broke his neck in 2006, and his dad, Bob Gentry.
Chris received calls and messages from several sports celebrities. Former Pittsburg Steelers’ player Ryan Clark didn’t have an injury, but he did suffer an altitude related setback due to his sickle cell anemia. He contacted Chris on a regular basis, texting him from the locker room at the Super Bowl and trying to arrange a meeting when they played in Kansas City. Some people made initial phone calls or left messages, but Ryan stayed with Chris and really lifted him up. Tim Tebow also regularly encouraged Chris through tweets, texts, and phone calls.
Chris was a huge Iowa Hawkeye fan, and at the time, Ken O’Keefe was their offensive coordinator. He called Chris every Saturday after the Iowa football game and put one of the players on the phone. Ken even invited Chris to visit the University of Iowa where he met Coach Ferentz. Chris also attended a practice where the football players acknowledged him as they headed into the locker room. Iowa State’s football coach, Paul Rhoads, invited Chris to speak to the Iowa State football team, and then he gave Chris sideline passes to several games and contacted Chris whenever an article about him came out in the local media.
One of our biggest supporters was Ohio State football coach, Urban Meyer. In trying to contact Tim Tebow, a friend of a friend of a friend knew Urban Meyer. One morning, I got a text from Coach Meyer saying
he’d heard about Chris’s story and that he was praying and thinking about us. I messaged him back, and from there, Urban started keeping in touch with us, and he connected Tim and Chris.
Coach Meyer invited Chris to Ohio State, and Chris and his buddies visited him twice. The first time, Chris described the visit as a dream come true. He took a picture with the Heisman Trophy, and stood in Ohio Stadium, also known as The Horseshoe. Chris and his buddies even went with Urban Meyer and his family to watch his son play baseball. Another time Chris and his friends visited with Coach Meyer in his office, watched a practice, and attended a game.
None of those guys—Urban Meyer, Tim Tebow, Ryan Clark, Ken O’Keefe, Paul Rhoads—reached out to Chris for a picture opportunity, an endorsement, or any benefit to them. They all connected with Chris because of their character. They were really good men who, despite their busy schedules and how many people wanted a piece of them, took the time to make a difference in Chris’s life.
Even though their trip to Ohio State was a dream come true, Deb and I still worried. The boys were in the car for a long time from Decorah to Chicago, and then on to Columbus, Ohio. We were apprehensive about the logistics, but a lot of our concerns were just normal mom and dad fears about college boys on a road trip. Because of Chris’s needs, we arranged the hotel in Columbus and contacted a local home healthcare agency to come to the hotel room. That was the first time we’d arranged an out-of-town agency when we weren’t present.
While visiting Ohio State, Chris and his friends stayed at a hotel, but they also spent time with Megan and her friends. Megan, a soccer player for the university, had gone to high school with Chris. She sent me a message after they’d left telling me what a neat group of friends he had. She and her friends were in awe of how they cared for Chris and how they took care of him. Without a word being spoken, they just did what needed to be done. She said it was incredible to witness, and that I should feel good about the care they gave him. Her unsolicited note really warmed our hearts and confirmed what Deb and I already knew about Chris’s friends.
