by Chris Norton
By the next week, I was walking farther and with less help, even walking a few steps with my left foot by just holding onto Emily with one hand. The progress I’d made gave me a huge push. With less than forty-six days until graduation, I felt very optimistic about my gains.
Even with my exceptional progress, I was nervous whenever I thought about graduation. How would I do it? With my walker? With Emily? With crutches? I worried about how long a walk I could do, if the gown would affect my walking, and if people would be able to see my gains and how hard I’d worked. The only thing I could do was work through the doubts, but at night I grew restless lying in bed with those thoughts flooding my brain.
Like clockwork, Mike Barwis called one morning to discuss how I was feeling about my graduation walk and if I had a plan. When I explained my doubts and concerns to him, he reassured me that no matter what I did on stage, people would love me and be proud because of how far I’d come. He encouraged me not to worry about what people thought and to just give it my all, reminding me I could only control my attitude and effort, and suggesting I focus on those two things.
Mike recommended I try the forearm crutches Brock Mealer used years ago when he first relearned to walk. We located the crutches, but I was nervous because I hadn’t used crutches for months, not since working at Euro-Team in Decorah. Despite my apprehension, when I tried the crutches, they worked really well, so well that I was close to taking a step with no one’s help. That night, I took the crutches home to our apartment and by using them, was able to take several steps all by myself.
Ecstatic and very encouraged by my progress, I also knew that my strength was ten times stronger at night than in the morning. For some unknown reason, as a day progressed, my strength increased. So mornings were tougher. Unfortunately, graduation was scheduled to take place in the morning, but I had a month to turn a few independent night steps into lots of great steps by the morning of May 24, 2015.
By mid-April, my gym time increased from three hours a day to five hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays, in addition to my night work with Emily. Although crutch walking was going well, I decided to walk without crutches. I didn’t want my graduation walk to take up too much time, and I knew I’d take longer than any other student. Considering the additional setup time necessary to get the crutches on and off, I decided to walk with Emily, whom I was most comfortable walking with anyway.
As April slid to May, I began taking a nighttime supplement to aid sleep, recover muscles, and rest my nervous system. With the countdown marching onward and my focus solely on graduation, I also added an additional trainer to my workouts. With the clock ticking, whenever I struggled to walk, disappointment triggered a film loop of failure inside my head, and swung the door open to crippling anxiety. Like a self-fulfilling prophesy, my body stopped reacting and responding the way it usually did. My walking got worse, and I fatigued much quicker.
Desperate for answers, I decided all the extra hours of therapy coupled with never taking a break had taken a toll. I took the following Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off for physical and mental rejuvenation. My brain was fried from concentrating so much while trying to initiate different muscles throughout my body. In the past, any breaks I took were for necessities like speaking engagements, travel, and school, but this time I needed to take the initiative. I just knew my body would feel stronger after a break, but to my utter confusion and frustration, my body felt even worse after coming back. Why was this happening, and why now with graduation only weeks away?
I fought the urge to break down into tears every time I attempted to walk, because only weeks ago I’d been capable of walking so much better. What had changed? When I saw Mike Barwis, I explained the situation, and he gave me a few suggestions, one of which was to stop taking the nighttime supplement.
The following weekend, I felt my body starting to wake back up, but I still felt worn down and dehydrated. We went to see Dr. Nemeh again, hoping to get back on track. By Monday, my walking was much better—still not to where I wanted—but I felt relieved to be able to lift my legs again. As the week progressed, I felt more like myself, and my stress leveled back to normal.
By the middle of the month, I had my best walk with Emily—ten strong and fluid yards—and once again felt confident about the five-yard graduation walk. On the nineteenth, because of dehydration, my walking didn’t go well. The gym didn’t have air-conditioning or fans, and temperatures in the building reached the upper 80s. My body overheated, causing my legs to lose nerve connection, and I got lightheaded while standing. While uncomfortable, it was a good reminder to make preparations for graduation and the possibility of spending a hot day on Luther’s football field or being indoors due to inclement weather. The last thing I wanted to do was pass out on stage!
On Wednesday, my walk went well, and I felt ready for the ceremony. I purchased dress shoes that would help with ankle stability to wear on graduation day and practiced with them during the week. We left on May 20 for Emily’s hometown, Muscatine, Iowa. After a couple of peaceful days at the Summers’s home, we left for Decorah on May 22. On the drive to Decorah, I worked on my speech for the Luther Senior Sports banquet held the next morning and practiced it the whole way. The presentation served to distract me from the surprise I’d planned for Saturday afternoon and graduation on Sunday morning.
For three months, I’d plotted and planned the perfect marriage proposal for Emily. Both of us were ready to take our relationship to the next level, and I racked my brain thinking of a romantic way to surprise her. Emily loved watching proposal videos on YouTube, and the pressure was on to make her proposal memorable. Emily would be the first to admit I’m not the most romantic guy, but I knew I could make up a lot of ground by creating a proposal she’d never forget.
Between March and May, every time Emily and I weren’t together, I was on the phone with my family coordinating aspects of the proposal. I carried a checklist in my head of things I knew she liked: family involvement, videotaped, and pre-planned. My friend, Michael Crocker, flew in from California to film the proposal, and another photographer friend, Tyler Rinken, was on hand to capture the moment as well. My family bought rose petals and roses to scatter on the floor, placed a bunch of photos of Emily and me around the room, and set up a speaker to play our song, “All of Me,” by John Legend. They spelled, “Will you marry me?” with candles on the floor of the back room to our favorite restaurant in downtown Decorah, Rubiayat.
I knew the owner really well, so when I told Emily that the owner had a graduation present for me that I needed to pick up before they opened at 4:30 p.m., she didn’t blink an eye. Emily and I were conveniently dressed nicely from my speaking engagement that morning, and I told her we had a video interview with the news station afterwards, so she touched up her makeup before we left.
That day, I couldn’t eat a thing because I was so nervous, and Emily kept asking me why I wasn’t eating. She was worried about keeping my strength up for the walk the next day. I wasn’t nervous she would say no, but I wanted the proposal to be perfect.
After lunch, we went to our room to practice standing and walking, and my parents left to go shopping, which was code for “get the restaurant ready.” Emily was totally thrown off that my dad went shopping with the girls because she knew he hated to shop. Finally, I got the call from Kim, the restaurant owner, which meant the room was ready and everyone was in place, including Emily’s family. I didn’t say a whole lot on our way to the restaurant, as I tried to prepare how I would ask her to marry me and control my racing heart.
We got to the restaurant, Kim let us in, escorted us to the back room, and slipped me the ring. Emily read the lettering on the floor, realized what was happening, and said, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh,” before starting to cry.
Seeing Emily so emotional got me choked up, but I collected myself and asked her to marry me. She said yes, slipped the ring on her finger, and my cameraman and videographer captured the whole event. Shortly af
ter, all of our family came out of hiding to smother us with hugs and congratulate us on making our plans official. I’d arranged for friends to come to celebrate with us as well. Everything went as planned.
After celebrating with family and friends that evening, Emily and I called it a night because we had to get up early the next morning for graduation. While sad to leave early with so many friends in town, the most important thing was to accomplish my goal—the other event everyone came to town to witness.
We woke up at 5:00 a.m. so my body would have six hours to adjust and be strong for the graduation walk. We started the day with some exercises, a short walk to warm up, and then waited anxiously for the commencement ceremony.
With my presentation complete and my future with Emily secure, my nerves returned with a vengeance. I’d set out to accomplish a huge goal in a very public setting, but I couldn’t predict how my body would respond when it came time to walk. I knew I’d already succeeded from the gains in strength I’d made and from the focus I’d put into making my graduation walk a reality, but I wanted everyone else to see how far I’d come too. The keynote speaker helped to ease my nerves with one of the funniest speeches I’d ever heard, but once the graduates started walking across the stage to collect their diplomas, my stomach fell to my knees.
As we approached the stage, Emily in front and my friend, Tanner, pushing the chair from behind, the dean read, “Christopher Norton,” signifying game time. Like the athlete I’d always been, I focused on my training and the task at hand, and didn’t worry about anyone or anything else. Emily and I knew I was ready. I put a smile on my face, looked up at the woman I loved, and said, “Let’s do it.”
Everyone in attendance rose to his or her feet to cheer me on as I made my way across the stage. The excitement and emotions of the crowd really caught me off guard and pushed me forward. The walk went well, and I only stepped on Emily’s foot once. As I got close to the president of the college, with Emily’s help, I lined up my feet to shake her hand. I pumped my fist in the air to acknowledge the crowd’s support, and the resounding applause echoed across the basketball gym. Quite a few people on stage had tears in their eyes.
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“Walking across the stage with Chris was the best moment in my life, which is saying a lot since the proposal happened the day before and was absolutely perfect.”
~ Emily Summers, Chris’s fiancé
* * *
Tanner wheeled me off stage where family and friends were there to greet us, right where they’d always been. There wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd. I didn’t realize the magnitude of what I’d accomplished or how many people were emotionally invested in my walk until I finally got back to my spot for the ceremony and took stock of the last few months. While so relieved it was over, I also felt extremely proud of accomplishing the goal I’d set out to achieve with everyone I cared about by my side.
I didn’t walk alone. God was with me from the very beginning, and I had Emily by my side, my family cheering from the audience, and all of my friends for support. So many people contributed to make my graduation walk a success. As with so many things in the adventure called life, I was forever grateful. At twenty-three, with the woman I loved by my side, surrounded by family and friends, I was truly blessed and ready to face whatever came next. Bring it on, God.
* * *
There are so many wonderful people out there, and the generosity we have felt along the way from friends, family, and complete strangers has just been amazing. You see God here on earth in the faces of the people your lives touch.
~ Terry Norton, CaringBridge, October 16, 2012
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IN TRUE Chris fashion, he and Emily made friends, loved their time in Michigan, and just made everything work. My doubts about the obstacles they’d face while there were for naught. From the moment he went back to college after his injury, I witnessed the same pattern time and time again. I’d worry about every possible pitfall, and Chris would find a way to make things work just fine.
Chris and Emily also became very involved in the foundations Barwis Methods operates, First Step and Athletic Angels. Both Chris and Emily, so driven to help others, were drawn to the foundations and the work they did for people in need. Their time at Barwis Methods fulfilled every one of their needs.
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“There are few people in life that can deal with adversity in a way that is truly uplifting and something that will drive other individuals to achieve success.”
~ Adam W. Busch, Former head football coach at Bondurant-Farrar Community Schools
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Chris loved his therapy at Barwis Methods and made so much progress. When he first arrived in Michigan, he couldn’t balance on his own without leg braces for more than four seconds. Soon, he was able to balance for up to ten minutes. As another example of his progress, at first, he had to have fifty pounds offloaded in order to perform a squat. Through hard work and with the expertise of his trainers, he soon progressed to not only squatting his full weight, but also adding thirty-three pounds of resistance!
From the moment Chris introduced us to Emily, we knew she was something special. Gradually, Chris came to depend on Emily in the way he’d counted on his friends at school. It didn’t take long until she was the one helping him work out on the weekends and traveling with him to speaking engagements. Deb and I witnessed another prayer answered as we watched our son fall in love with a beautiful woman who loved him for who he was.
The challenge of planning and preparing for Chris’s surprise proposal was fun and exciting, as we were extremely pleased for both of them. But it was also very stressful. Trying to keep the planning quiet was tough. We had to be sneaky when sending Chris any type of text or e-mail related to the proposal in case Emily happened to see it, so we often disguised our communication as SCI CAN financial information. It was really hard not to shout from the rooftops or tell any of our friends, but we just couldn’t take a chance that word would spread.
Chris was very specific about the setup for the proposal. He wanted the room scattered with flowers, flower petals, candles, and pictures. His sisters made a poster that spelled out, “All of me loves all of you,” quoting the John Legend song they’d adopted as their own. We fashioned, “Will you marry me?” with candles and flower petals on the floor, and had their song playing in the background.
The owner of the restaurant, Kim, called Chris and lured them to the restaurant under the guise of a graduation present he needed to pick up before a big group arrived. Thinking they were heading to a TV interview after they picked up the graduation gift, Emily wore a pretty dress, and they both looked picture perfect. Emily’s family was present, and so was ours, hiding in the restaurant’s kitchen while the actual proposal took place. Emily was totally surprised, very emotional, and thankfully agreeable to becoming Mrs. Christopher Norton. After the proposal, a handful of his friends arrived to celebrate with our two families, capping the evening with laughter and love, so appropriate for Chris and Emily.
With the most important part of Chris’s future secure, we all set our sights on his graduation walk. While exciting, graduation was also very nerve racking because I knew how hard Chris had worked day in and day out for four-and-a-half years to accomplish his goal. More importantly, I knew how much it meant to him and to those who’d followed his journey.
I’d spent the prior year praying daily over his graduation walk and that he wouldn’t be disappointed, no matter the outcome. I knew firsthand how far he’d come in his recovery and the effort he’d expended to get there. As his harshest critic and most ruthless trainer, Chris set high expectations for himself.
I didn’t want what he’d already accomplished—his recovery, the inspiration he’d provided to thousands, and the creation of a non-profit that was already helping so many—to be diminished by whether he walked, crawled, danced, or skipped across the graduation stage. As his dad, I probably knew Chris better than anyone, and he had his heart and min
d set on walking. When he said he was going to do something, he planned to do it no matter what.
Worrier that I was, I also fretted about the crowd. Chris’s “actual” class had graduated the year before, he’d finished school in December in order to train in Michigan, and that meant he hadn’t been on campus the whole spring semester. In the back of my mind, I worried over how people would feel about him taking too much time or taking the spotlight, even though it wasn’t intentional.
My concerns vanished as soon as his name was called and the room erupted into thunderous applause. Everyone leapt to their feet, and I felt the surge of energy from the audience guiding Chris and Emily along every step. They clapped and cheered for two minutes straight while he walked and received his diploma. Being in that gymnasium, with the crowd radiating joy, was one of the most incredible atmospheres I have ever experienced.
* * *
“I am blown away by how fortunate I am, from the first days of ordering those bracelets, to recently witnessing Chris walk the graduation stage and propose to his girlfriend, to have been a part of everything that has transpired between those two points. I have seen Chris’s story bring out the best in others, the best in myself, and serve as evidence that no matter what road—however dark—life decides to send us down, the choice to see the light is always ours to make.”
~ Rich Holton, Luther classmate and friend
* * *
Immediately afterwards, Chris’s face revealed every emotion we felt as he smiled from ear to ear. We all heaved a collective sigh of relief that he’d achieved his goal in the warm embrace of over forty family members and friends in attendance. At lunch after the ceremony, we had much to celebrate and thanked God for our blessings.
