by Jay Bell
“Can I help you?” he asked, pushing away from the wall.
The guy was slender, his skin dark, the hair buzzed close to his head. Whoever he was, he barely spared Nathaniel a glance before he started yanking on the door again. “I need out.”
“Didn’t you hear the announcement?” No response. “Hey, are you listening to me?”
The guy stopped pulling on the door long enough for Nathaniel to size him up. His features were striking. Enough so that he could be a model. This thought brought a name to mind: Kelly Phillips. Marcello had mentioned him a few times, bemoaning that Kelly wasn’t interested in becoming a model. Now, in person, Nathaniel could understand his boss’s agony. The shadows seem to lie across Kelly’s face contentedly, having found the most beautiful place to rest.
Nathaniel’s heart didn’t swell with desire because his brain had put the pieces of Kelly’s sad story together. This wasn’t difficult, considering he’d been in a similar situation once. Some claim the truth can set you free, but Nathaniel had felt shackled by it ever since he saw Rebecca kissing Caesar. Love was cruel. Only a lucky few spent their entire lives without learning that truth. He often wished someone had kept him from discovering it.
Nathaniel stepped sideways, putting himself between Kelly and the exit.
“Even if this door wasn’t locked, it leads to the kitchen, which is off limits.” He threw the kid an excuse to walk away with his dignity intact. “Are you looking for the restroom?”
“Yes,” Kelly said.
“Other side of the room.”
Kelly lifted one of the two crutches supporting him, the kind that attached to the forearms. “Is it handicap-accessible?”
Nathaniel glanced down, noticing that one pant leg was folded and flat just above the knee. “I don’t know. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
“I need support bars mounted on the wall,” Kelly insisted.
Then he kept rambling about everything else he required, playing up his handicap, but Nathaniel wasn’t buying it. “I’ll support you.”
Eyes widened in response. “What?”
“I’ll accompany you to the restroom, and if need be, I’ll hold you up.”
Kelly’s jaw dropped. “Do you have any idea how offensive that is?”
“I don’t care. You’re not getting through this door.” Time to cut through the bullshit. “What is it that you really want?”
Kelly sighed. “There’s someone in there that I need to talk to.”
“Need?”
“Yes! Need!”
Nathaniel snorted. “Trust me, there isn’t anyone you need.”
“Oh really. How would you know that?”
“Because I’ve put a lot of thought into the subject. Hold on.”
He took the keys from his pocket. Part of him was tempted to toss them to Kelly and look away. Instead he unlocked the door and slipped inside, shutting and locking it before he could be followed. Then he sighed. William and his lover were off doing who knows what, while Kelly was left clawing at a closed door, wanting to see with his own eyes what he already knew in his heart.
Nathaniel felt sorry for him, which he didn’t like because pity was a useless emotion that never helped anyone. But maybe something else could. He hurried from the kitchen, down the hall to the small reading room. He grabbed his birthday present, then snagged two glasses on the way back. When he opened the door again, he almost expected to be attacked with crutches. Instead Kelly looked him over, noticing the wine.
“What’s this supposed to be?” he asked.
“Come find out.” Nathaniel locked the door and gestured for Kelly to follow. Then he walked toward the back of the room. When he reached an empty table and pulled out a chair, Kelly wasn’t far behind. Nathaniel sat across from him, working on getting the bottle open using the pocket knife he carried. While the knife had its own corkscrew, this was hardly the way to treat such an expensive wine. Then again, today was his birthday, and Nathaniel intended to enjoy himself a little. He poured two glasses.
“I’m not old enough to drink,” Kelly said.
“Oh no,” Nathaniel deadpanned. “I hope I don’t lose my job over this.”
“You could be arrested. Believe me.”
“So be it.” Nathaniel pushed one of the glasses toward him. “Drink up.”
Kelly stared. “What kind of a bouncer are you?”
“I’m not a bouncer. My name is Nathaniel, and I’m the coordinator of this event. Are you enjoying yourself?”
“No.”
“Good. Now shut up and take a drink so I can have one too. Otherwise, you’ll think I’m rude.”
Kelly continued to stare, but now with a hint of amusement. Finally he picked up the glass and held it aloft. “Here’s to not getting what you want.”
Nathaniel nodded his approval and took a hearty swig. The wine, despite its price tag, still tasted like wine. He turned his attention to the front of the room, judging how far along the presentation was. Then he started doing mental calculations on how much each glass of wine would cost, then each sip.
“It’s great what you’re doing here,” Kelly said to get his attention.
Nathaniel looked at him, noticing the half-empty glass, the wine having placated him somewhat. He wished he could say the same, because he couldn’t stop wondering what Kelly hoped to achieve by catching his boyfriend in the act. Nathaniel could find out, but he’d have to do so coyly. “And what is it that you’re doing here? Are you someone’s date?”
“No,” Kelly said with a shake of his head. “I’m not rich either, so don’t try hitting me up for money.”
“Then I ask again, why are you here?”
“It’s a mystery,” Kelly said, playing with the stem of his glass. “I’m afraid you’ll never find out. We’ll share this drink together, go our separate ways, and that will be the end of our story.”
Was he flirting? That might make him feel better, so Nathaniel decided to play along. “Fair enough. Of course the drink isn’t over quite yet.” He refilled Kelly’s glass, then his own. He returned his attention to the presentation, but whenever he looked at Kelly, those eyes were still on him. He found that amusing and more than a little flattering. He believed in his own convictions though. He didn’t need anyone else these days.
“So what about you?” Kelly asked, making conversation again. “Are you someone’s date?”
Oh boy. “I already told you, this is my job.”
“Yes, but it’s not like you can’t bring your boyfriend along. If I was dating you, I’d insist on coming just for the free food. Except for those fish things. Those were gross.”
“Brandade de Morue au Gratin,” Nathaniel said.
“Exactly.” Kelly made a face, sliding his glass over so it could be topped off again. “Whoever put those on the menu needs to be fired.”
“I put them on the menu.”
“Oh!” Kelly’s eyebrows shot up. “Well maybe not fired. Um…”
“It’s perfectly fine,” Nathaniel said, pouring roughly one hundred and fifty dollars into Kelly’s glass. “I was disappointed too. We had to switch caterers at the last minute. I won’t be using them again. And for the record, if I had a boyfriend, I wouldn’t bring him here. Topless waiters, rich old perverts, and bouncers who ply underage boys with booze. Not the most wholesome of environments, is it?”
He tried a smile. Kelly responded in kind, which had more of an effect on Nathaniel than he cared to admit. Unable to handle much more, he nodded at the video that had just started.
“Watch this one. It’s good.”
When Kelly turned to do so, Nathaniel stared at the back of his head and wondered how William could be so foolish. Maybe there was more to the story than he knew, but in addition to the handsome face, Kelly had tenacity and pride. Sure he was slugging back the wine, but he wasn’t crying into the glass. Then again, the crutches leaning against the table testified that Kelly had probably overcome worse.
Nathaniel force
d himself to watch the video, which he had personally directed, working with a local woman who had severe agoraphobia. She had been eager to help, even suggesting different ideas, including one he liked so much that he ended the video with it. He watched the scene play across the screen and felt just as moved as he had when they filmed it.
“That last shot,” he said, “the soil passing through her gnarled old fingers… Beautiful stuff.”
Kelly turned to face him again. “You like photography?”
“Something like that.” The time to collect donations had come, and that was of greater importance than trying to prevent a broken heart. “I’m afraid our time together is over.”
“My glass isn’t empty yet,” Kelly said, still flirting.
Nathaniel no longer had time for it. He picked up his own glass and drained it. Marcello and Tim were back on stage, making their plea. “I have to help collect donations,” he explained. Then the lights brightened to their normal level and his resolve wavered, because Kelly now wore a vulnerable expression. Nathaniel felt for him, he really did. Tonight he had only delayed the inevitable. Kelly would find out the truth soon enough. That would hurt, but he would survive the experience.
Nathaniel stood. “You’ll be all right.”
“Yeah,” Kelly said dryly. “Just fine. Especially if you leave the bottle.”
“Not a chance.” Nathaniel swiped the wine bottle and turned away, but part of him didn’t want to leave. He could at least say goodbye properly, which was funny because they hadn’t had a real introduction. He spun back around. “You never told me your name.”
“Kelly.”
Nathaniel pretended to mull this over, as if weighing the pros and cons. “Well, Kelly, I’d say it’s nice meeting you, but I guess this is goodbye.”
“I guess so.” The vulnerable expression remained a moment longer. Then Kelly smiled, exposed now in the full light of the room. Nathaniel had no choice but to stare. The kid should be on the cover of a magazine. Or in the arms of someone who wouldn’t take him for granted. Maybe he would get there eventually. Some hearts bounced back quicker than others. Just not Nathaniel’s. He turned away, already searching the crowd for a heart more generous than his own.
* * * * *
Nathaniel had a pocket stuffed full of checks when he returned to the kitchen, unlocked the doors and sent a platoon of waiters out to wine and dine the benefactors. Next he made sure the tables nearest the stage were cleared away so the band could resume and dancing could begin. All of this forced thoughts of Kelly out of his mind. That is, until he saw a young waiter standing in one corner of the kitchen, wearing a dreamy expression. No doubt he was still reeling from his little tryst with William. This made Nathaniel want to snap, which to his surprise, he did.
“Why are you just standing there?” he snarled, moving toward him. The young waiter appeared shocked, and for the briefest of moments, defensive, which finally helped Nathaniel make the connection. Grow out the messy hair until it covered his eyes, make those cheeks bright red with indignation, and the face became much more familiar. Jason Grant. Former foster son of the Hubbards. The guy who nearly ended his relationship with Caesar all those years ago. “Oh. I didn’t recognize you before!”
Jason appeared twice as panicked. “You didn’t?”
“No, sorry,” Nathaniel replied, realizing that he was walking into a very awkward conversation. He quickly switched tracks to avoid it. “Marcello said two waiters would be sneaking around his house. You’re one of them, right?”
“Yeah.”
Jason freaking Grant. Of course it had to be him. Funny how history repeated itself. Instead of Nathaniel and Caesar getting caught up in a love triangle with him, now there were two new players. “How did everything go?”
Jason visibly relaxed and nodded slowly. “Good. Better than I expected, actually.”
“So lucky. There’s nothing like young love.” Nathaniel tried to look caught up in the moment. This was his chance to help Kelly and bring these ridiculous games to an end. “If I can offer some advice… Don’t let it stay hidden. Love is like a flower. It needs to be out in the open where it can get fresh air and sunlight. Secrets can be fun, but eventually they’ll smother what you have together.” He made a face. “Did I really just compare love to a flower?”
Jason laughed. “Yeah, you did.”
Nathaniel shook his head shamefully. “Anyway, you get my point, right? If you like this guy, you’ll both have to come out or whatever the issue is. That’s the only way you’ll make it.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Jason searched his features. No doubt about it. He recognized Nathaniel too. “So what about you? Anyone special in your life?”
He meant Caesar. Jason wanted to know if their relationship had survived the test of time. “No.” Nathaniel swallowed against the pain. “No, I think I’m done with all of that. I have better things to do with my time. If love is a flower, then someone ran over mine with a lawn mower a long time ago.”
Jason’s expression became sympathetic. Or was it pity?
“Not that I’m bitter,” Nathaniel said hurriedly. “I’m just more interested in my career right now. Speaking of which, Marcello didn’t say anything about you slacking off. Grab a tray of cocktail wieners and be sure to laugh when these guys make all the obvious jokes.”
“Yes, sir!”
Jason saluted in jest and flashed a smile, but it couldn’t compare with the one Nathaniel had seen earlier in the evening. He hoped Kelly’s smile would survive learning the truth, and that he would prove stronger than Nathaniel had when facing the same rite of passage. Love might be cruel, but life itself could offer alternative paths that were just as satisfying. He wished he had taken the time to tell Kelly that, to explain how he had built a new life for himself, one where he could no longer be hurt. Nathaniel returned to the ballroom with that thought in mind but found his Cinderella had already fled, leaving behind an empty wine glass instead of a slipper.
Interlude
The air conditioning in Marcello’s office kicked in, filling the room with a gentle hum. Kelly leaned forward to pick up his wine glass, sipping from it before considering the contents thoughtfully. “We met on your birthday,” he murmured. “I had no idea.”
“I never thought it worth mentioning.” Nathaniel grunted. “As much as I’ve missed you over the years, I still have standards. So if you’re expecting a cheesy line about how you were the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten, you can forget it. Even if it is true.”
Kelly looked up and smiled. “I’ll take that as a compliment, especially considering the caliber of presents you’ve gotten before. A thousand dollars for a bottle of wine? That’s crazy!”
“You don’t like how it tastes?” Nathaniel asked, nodding at his glass.
Kelly stiffened and sat upright, holding the glass with added caution. “This is the same wine?”
“You’ve got about—” Nathaniel narrowed his eyes in concentration. “—three hundred dollars swishing around in your stomach right now.”
Kelly set down his glass carefully. “I wish I could pee it back out into my bank account.”
“Is money tight? I can help. Seriously.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I appreciate it. Including what you tried to do the night of the charity ball. I thought back on it sometimes, once I learned the truth. Occasionally I wished you had let me pass through that door so I could have caught them in the act. But you were probably right. Seeing them together would have been more traumatizing, making it harder to recover from.”
“You did though,” Nathaniel said. “I was so proud when I heard you reached out to Marcello. You didn’t need my advice or my protection. You’ve always been smart and strong. You bounced back, started modeling, and damn-near became a household name. I don’t know if you understand just how close you came to that.”
Kelly shrugged. “That sort of fame never appealed to me. Being an Olympic star would have been nice.
These days I’d like my photography to gain recognition, but getting famous just because I look good in the right lighting and under layers of makeup? Not for me.”
“You always look good.”
Kelly shook his head in disagreement. “I’m flattered you think I’m strong, but it was Jason Grant who pushed me to contact Marcello. Did you know that? I grew to like Jason, once we got to know each other. I understand why William fell in love with him. The same reasons Caesar did, I imagine. I know Jason will always be a homewrecker to you and me, but I think that’s because he didn’t have a home of his own. He was placed in foster care at a very young age, and from what he told me, he never stayed in one place for long. He wasn’t oblivious to the consequences of his actions, but considering how little stability his own life offered, it’s not surprising he bumbled into ours and knocked things over.”
Nathaniel studied Kelly critically. “Have you gone soft on me?”
Kelly snorted. “No. If Jason ever puts the moves on someone I love again, I’ll break his damn fingers. Then I’ll drive him to the hospital myself, because I really do like the guy.”
Nathaniel chuckled, refilling their glasses. He hoped such forgiveness extended to him, but perhaps not. Even before Nathaniel set down the bottle, Kelly fidgeted and stood.
“Where are you going?” Nathaniel asked.
“Bathroom break. And then home.”
Home? He watched as Kelly walked toward a door in the far corner of the room, getting tenser by the second. Neither of them could leave, but what concerned Nathaniel is that Kelly wanted to. After a rush of pipes and the trickling sound of a sink, Kelly returned and spoke words that sent panic racing to Nathaniel’s stomach:
“It’s getting late.”
“We’re stuck here,” Nathaniel reminded him.
Kelly shot him a look. “How many times have you dealt with building codes? What happens if the elevator breaks down, which apparently it has, and Marcello drinks too much, passes out, and sets himself on fire? It would serve him right considering how manipulative he’s being, but I’m assuming there’s a contingency plan in place.”
