“The academy, they sacked me …” I hiccup.
He rubs my back in slow, gentle circles. “I’m going to take care of everything. No arguing about that.”
Right now, I couldn’t if I tried. Having someone to lean on, being strong enough inside to allow this man who loves me to be the one I lean on … we’ve both come a long way. But something is keeping me from saying it back, no matter how deeply I feel it in my heart.
Perhaps it’s the fact that the only other person I love is lying just feet from here, fighting for his life. Telling someone else that I love them when my biggest love might be taken away, is terribly daunting.
Sensing the need to break the tension within me, Jude speaks.
“Now, can I go visit with your dad? You think I only came here for you? Sheesh, woman …” Jude mocks, wrapping me in an embrace that opposes his sarcastic comment.
By the time we make it back to my father’s hospital room, the nurse tells us that he’s had another round of pain medication and will probably be sleeping for a while.
I fill Jude in on what happened with Darnot and then finding my father in our living room. He almost punches the wall, he’s that angry at his former headmaster. A couple of highly defamatory curses slip past his lips, and I have to wrap my arms around him to get him to stop.
We talk about London, about why he got into a brawl with the French player. The shock I feel from hearing that he was defending my honor is both surprising, but satisfactory. I tell Jude that while I appreciate his standing up for me, I don’t need him to do it when it lands him in the doghouse with Niles Harrington.
He goes on to tell me about their talk before he drove to Clavering and says that he never wants to be apart from me again.
Me? I can’t think about all that right now. I want to be together again, but I also know that I won’t have any clarity on other situations until I know what Dad’s fate is.
A little time passes, and Dad’s oncologist walks into the room. I grab Jude’s hand for support. He squeezes back, and just the warmth of his skin on mine makes me feel better.
“Oh, I didn’t realize he was sleeping, I can come back.” Dr. Bradley observes my father in the bed and turns to leave.
“No, please don’t. Can you … can you give me the update? You see, I haven’t heard much about his progress or lack thereof, and …” I trail off, not able to continue.
If he isn’t getting better, I’m not sure I’m strong enough to withstand watching him lose this battle.
Dr. Bradley looks at Jude, his expression unsure, and then his face resolves itself. He probably knows I won’t leave him alone until he gives me an update.
“I asked the staff here to do some bloodwork and scans. We had the lab push the job through, and while he still isn’t in remission … his counts are up and the tumor has shrunken to the point where we’ll be able to go in and get all of it. I’m pretty confident about that. The surgery won’t be until this round of radiation is done, but it’s looking really promising.”
The tears that started with Jude’s confession begin again and won’t stop. They cloud my vision, and the lightness I feel threatens to bring me to my knees. It’s dizzying, being light as a feather when you’ve felt weight bearing down on you for so long.
“It was the last of the chemo fighting off the bad cells. He’s almost in the clear, Aria.” Dad’s oncologist pats me on the shoulder and then leaves the room.
Finally, I let it trickle in. That feeling I’ve held at bay for so long, for years even.
Hope, strong as the tide of the ocean, washes over me. It seems that the things I dared not pray for might actually be coming true.
38
Jude
Two days later, Edward is discharged from the hospital and we bring him home.
Aria had been living by his bedside at the hospital, even though her father and I both insisted she let me take her back to their house to shower and sleep. But, in usual stubborn fashion, my girl refused. So, I spent every second with her next to his bedside.
And now, I’ve spent the last couple of hours under their roof, with no intention of leaving. I have three more days here, and I am going to make the most of them. Starting with helping Aria focus on her next move, now that we know her father is on the mend.
We lie in her tiny twin bed, the door to her room open so she can hear her dad call if he needs her assistance.
She jolts halfway up, struggling out of my embrace. “Oh, the sewer bill, I completely forgot—”
“It’s taken care of, love.” I pull her back to me, nestling her in the crook of my arm and planting a kiss on her forehead.
“I will make it up to you, pay you back.” Aria’s voice sounds apologetic.
Putting a finger to her lips, I silence her. “You’ll do no such thing. It’s a miracle I didn’t force you to take my help from the moment I met you, so now I’m just catching up. The best way to repay me? Do the interview, love. Forget all the madness occupying your head right now and talk to the reporter about the beautiful voice you’ve been given.”
Her hazel, gold-flecked eyes meet mine. “I’m … scared.”
My thumb caresses her cheek. “Eh, just picture everyone naked, love.”
Aria chuckles. “I already do that when I’m with you, constantly. Plus, don’t tell me you’re picturing other people naked.”
“Just you.” I give her a devilish gleam.
She seems to fixate on a speck of yarn on my shirt and picks at it for a few seconds. “All right, I’ll do the interview.”
Sitting up, she’s jostled as I reach for my phone. “Great, I’ll tell Barry you’re ready now.”
“What?” Aria’s voice is sheer panic. “Can’t we at least wait until tomorrow?”
“Nope, you’ll chicken out,” I say as the phone rings through to Barry.
For the time being, we all agree it’s for the best if he represents her interests moving forward. I trust Barry, which means Aria trusts him because she values my judgment. If she has a professional handling her calls and interviews from the beginning, she’ll be that much better off.
“Yeah, she’s ready.” I don’t even bother saying hi.
Hanging up when Barry says he’ll set it up right now, I turn to see Aria gaping at me.
“Do things in your world always move this fast? I’m not sure I want to be a part of this lifestyle …” Her voice is small and meek.
“Love, the sooner you realize you’re stronger than any person I’ve ever met in my world, the sooner you’ll know that you can make your world whatever you want it to be.”
And she can. If she wants to take things slow, never do interviews, only sing for small venues … whatever it is, Aria can make it so. She is so talented, no one is going to say no to her. And she has thicker skin than any person I have ever encountered.
Her cell phone begins to ring, and she jumps at the sound.
“That’ll be the reporter,” I tell her, glad that Barry worked so quickly. I didn’t want to give Aria time to change her mind.
“Will you stay with me? Through the interview?” Aria grabs my hand as I stand to leave.
“This is your time to shine,” I tell her.
“But you’ve done this before. I want someone on my side who has experience in this arena, just to make sure that I don’t stick my foot in my mouth. Plus … you’re just nice to look at.” Aria waggles her eyebrows at me.
I nod, and motion for her to pick it up before the call drops.
“Hello?” Aria greets the caller. “Yes, this is she. Thank you for giving me a call on short notice.”
My girl puts her finger to her lips, to tell me to stay quiet, and then puts the call on speaker.
“Of course. This is Megan Gilbert with Today’s Tea. I wanted to ask you a few questions about your upcoming single.”
I’m familiar with Megan and her publication. Part newsworthy, part gossip column, the outlet is a reputable one with just enough scandal to keep it
s readers entertained.
And Megan is a solid writer which is the only reason Barry and I agreed with Ian to let Aria do the interview. Not that I am trying to control her career in any way, but I know how the media can turn stories. I’m not going to let that happen so early on to the woman I love.
“Great.” Aria awaits her first question.
“So, before we jump into the music, which Ian sent me and I think has a great vibe, let me ask you; do you think that Jude Davies has gone off the rail since your breakup?”
We’re both dead silent for a minute, and I can see the annoyance evident on her beautiful face as Aria grinds her teeth. How the hell did Megan even get word that we’d broken up? Or that we were ever an item? Sure people got pictures of us in London or the occasional photog who came to Clavering caught us walking … but we’ve never said a thing to the press. And we hadn’t said anything when I left for London and we’d been broken up for a month.
“I will give no more answers to your interview questions unless you swear to print this next one word for word, got it?” Her tone is ice cold.
“I understand,” Megan Gilbert says solemnly.
“Jude Davies is the most loyal, and strongest person I’ve ever met. His soul is good to its core, and the things being printed about him right now, about his quick reactions or temper, are dead wrong. Jude is kind, fair, and supportive … he is one of the best men I’ve ever had the pleasure to know. The media’s perception of him, and how they spread it to the people, tarnishes all the high-quality aspects of his persona. Sure, he is human, as we all are. But he’s grown up in the public eye, had tremendous personal losses, and deals with everything around him in a logical way. Imagine if everything you did was magnified through a giant lens for the world to see?”
Aria finishes her calm tirade and looks to me, those hazel eyes shining with fierce loyalty and, if I dare to hope, love.
She hasn’t said it back to me yet … in two days she hasn’t returned my sentiments. I’m not going to push it, but we both know I’m not a patient man when it comes to something I want. Soon, I’ll have to pin her down and use my hands in the way she likes just to get her to admit she loves me.
“I think we can put that into print,” Megan Gilbert clips out on the other end and I know my girl has schooled her.
This reporter thought she’d be getting easy prey, when in reality she’s on a call with a quiet killer.
The rest of the interview goes swimmingly as Megan asks Aria about her music, where she wants her career to go, her favorite singers and what influences her. I hold her hand through it all, so proud that this kick-ass bird is the one I get to spend every day with. And, though she’ll fight me every step of the way, the one I get to take care of. Because that’s how I show my love … she just told the reporter so.
“You did amazing.” I lean over as she disconnects the call, gently taking her jaw in my hand and planting a soft kiss on her lips.
The caress of my mouth on hers lingers on, neither of us committing to more but not stopping. It’s been so long since I’ve tasted her fully; since I’ve been inside her. My cock hardens with the knowledge that we’re alone in her bedroom, even if Edward lies in a sickbed down the hall.
Pulling back, Aria looks me square in the eye. “I love you. As much as I tried not to fall for you, it was hopeless from the start. Loving you is as natural to me as breathing, and I’m not fighting it anymore.”
And she’s successfully stopped my heart. Makes it come to a full halt because no words have ever meant as much to me as hearing those ones from her. I never knew how much I needed her to say them, or how I’ve been waiting my entire life for this girl, this exact one, to tell me she is in love with me.
“Well, now that we’ve agreed on that, let me show you just how much I love you.”
I stifle her giggle with my lips as I roll on top of her, testing out just how much force I can put into the bed without it squeaking.
39
Aria
Walking into the family suite at the Rogue Football Club stadium brings an intense, sweeping feeling of déjà vu.
It was many months ago that I was escorted here as Jude Davies’ handler the first time I ever spent the weekend with him in London. Now, it’s a bi-weekly occurrence. He sends a car to Clavering on Friday, and I stay with him until Sunday, soaking up the alone time we have together.
And watching him play … it is one of my favorite things now. Jude’s raw strength and power out on the pitch, it gives me goose bumps just sitting up here in the luxury box. The drive he exhibits, it makes me want to perfect my own craft. Sometimes, I have meetings with Ian on these weekend trips out to London, to talk about songwriting or sampling tracks some producer sent over.
Something I’d never counted on is how fast my demo took off. The first radio station that played it saw a good interest in it with their listeners. So another station picked it up, and pretty soon, social media users were posting it on their Instagram stories or sharing the YouTube audio to Facebook. I was shocked when Jude showed me his timeline, which featured two of his friends sharing my song.
It didn’t feel real whatsoever, and after the interview I gave about my life and Jude, it seemed the popularity only increased. I don’t want to say my popularity, because that sounds conceited and it … is a bunch of bullshit. I’m still the same girl who lives in a dodgy row home in Clavering with her dad.
But, it’s nice to get some recognition, and the check that Ian and the label mailed to me. Fifteen thousand pounds, and this is just the start of it. That kind of money will help us until I can record the full album and get it selling. The label wants to fast track that, an emotion-packed ten song album that I’ll live in the studio to record as quickly as possible. I’m anxious, and a little nervous about how intense the work will be … but I am ready.
The family suite is oddly empty today, with only a few people scattered about. Perhaps because it’s a night match, and all the wives with little ones are home tucking them into bed.
I walk across the room, order myself a cup of tea from the bartender, and go to sit in my usual spot. The third table, pushed up to the glass so that I can have the best angle of Jude sprinting to the opposing team’s goal. Except when I get there, my table is already taken.
By a woman whose face I’ve seen splashed all over every magazine.
“You’re Leah Ramsey.” I blink, starstruck.
You’d have to have lived under a rock for the last five years to not know who Killian Ramsey’s wife is. I mean, her husband himself is the bloody king of English football … the guy is a bigger rock star than Jude, and my cocky boyfriend will even admit that to you. But his wife? She is the real celebrity.
Leah runs her own public relations firm, is a mum to two kids, has perfect hair, organizes loads of charities and I heard she’s best friends with Kate Middleton. If she isn’t my hero, I’m not sure I have one then.
“God, and now I sound like a twit. I’m sorry …” I begin to walk off to the other side of the room, shaking my head at myself, when her voice stops me.
“Wait, aren’t you … Aria? Jude’s girlfriend, the one with the smashing voice?” Her American accent catches me off guard because it’s almost as if Britain has adopted her as their own.
Holy bollocks, she knows who I am! “Um … yes.”
“Oh, I just love your song! Your voice is just beautiful,” she compliments, and I’m already smitten with her. “But don’t go calling yourself a twit, it only allows other people to do it. Sit with me?”
And now I love her even more. “Is … is Killian, your husband, here, too?”
Is it weird to call her husband by his first name when I don’t even know him? I feel like I do though, as does the whole country.
Leah rolls her eyes. “He’s sitting down with the coaches. Seems that even in his retirement, I can’t escape a soccer stadium. But, I guess it’s nice to have a night away from the kids. As much as I love them, mama needs h
er wine and quiet time.”
I have to swallow the chuckle at her calling the sport soccer. I’m sure Killian hates that. “It’s probably nice to have time alone with your husband, too?”
“Savor this time you have with Jude. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss it just being the two of us.” I must twitch because she looks at me with a knowing smile. “Oh, I apologize for the forwardness. It’s just … I’ve been around a lot of players’ wives over the years and my ability to read people has become almost too good. We’re all the in the same boat, us wives, and I can tell you’re one of the good ones. Those are rare to find in these family suites. Plus, I hear Killian blabber on about mentoring Jude at least four times a day, so I feel like I know you two.”
It’s hard to contain my admiration. “I’m … humbled. Gosh, I feel like I have a thousand questions I could ask you.”
“Ask away. Let’s both be honest, girl talk is way more interesting than this sport our men are always obsessing over.” She smiles.
Her honesty makes me laugh. “Well, I guess the most relevant thing for me right now would be … how did you develop a thick skin when it came to your relationship?”
Leah nods sagely. “You don’t, honestly. You just care enough about the man you love to ignore all the shit that people say about you. Can I give you some real advice? The answer to the question I wish you would have asked? Because apparently, that’s what I do now as an old woman,” Leah jokes, raising a sarcastic eyebrow.
Looking at this woman, who is so elegantly beautiful it’s almost not fair, no one would dare think to call her old. I nod because I could use some advice and she had been in my shoes at one point.
“I used to look at love and being a couple as if it were falling into a fairy tale. You know when you see those kinds of people? The ones who seem like they’re so in love that logic and reality don’t touch them? I used to think that’s how it was supposed to be. And then I met Killian. And he showed me that being with the person you’re meant to be with doesn’t have to be rainbows and unicorns. Life isn’t like that, it’s tough and gritty at times. You have losses, you get knocked down, and sometimes, you don’t come out on top. Those people who see hearts and frolic in meadows? They’re the ones who don’t make it. You know who does? The tough couples, the ones who know how deep their feelings go but aren’t blinded by them. The ones who don’t get mired down in the illusion, those are the partners who make it. The ones that can deal with meddling family members and crazy work schedules and sick children … that is the stuff that bonds you. Love is the bones, and those are necessary, but without wits … you’ve got nothing. Approaching life like that, with the person you chose above everyone else, is how you get through it. It’s not about having thick skin, it’s about being smart and logical, while also being in love.”
The Second Coming: Rogue Academy, Book One Page 17
