by Kim Fox
“Who’s us?”
“Me, Lachlan,” she says, “Maximus, Abigail, Caleb, Tito, Ronin, and, um, Kneecap.”
“Kneecap?” I ask, jerking my head back. “Is that a real name.”
She takes a deep breath and sighs. “Yeah.”
I grin. “I have to meet this guy.”
Her eyes drop to the table. “Let’s hope for your sake that you don’t.”
“What?”
She just ignores me and bursts out of the booth. “Let’s get out of here,” she says. “I’m ditching work.”
I’m looking up at her in shock. “How are you going to do that?”
“Easy,” she says, turning to the bartender. “I’m taking the rest of the day off.”
He shrugs his round shoulders and pours another beer. “All right. See you tomorrow.”
Jessie turns back to me with an excited grin. “Let’s go!”
2
Kneecap
Shut the fuck up.
I barely open my eyes before my infuriating bear is already terrorizing me. His vicious growls and snarls echo through my pounding head as he thunders around, charging and rushing to get out.
The rock I’m lying on is cold, the relentless flies are buzzing around my head, and this asshole of a grizzly bear I’m forced to live with is already ruining my day, five seconds in.
My head is pounding as I sit up in the cave. There’s a half-eaten deer beside me. Its carcass has leaked blood all over me while I slept, staining my skin red.
I shake my head, disgusted. I’m more animal than man.
The smell of blood has gotten my grizzly’s attention and he’s making me pay. By the time I get to my feet, he’s already charged forward three times, fighting to get out. I struggle to hold him back, pushing him back down, which just pisses him off more.
I grin. There’s not a lot of things that make me happy in this world, but pissing off my annoying fucking bear is one of them.
My belly is full. The bear eats enough for the both of us, but I could use some coffee.
He’s in my ear as I walk outside, gnashing his teeth and snarling, furious that I’m caging him in.
Let me have a fucking coffee first.
He hates it when I’m out. I’m not a shifter. Shifters live in harmony with their animals.
I’m a prisoner of a man living with a savage and murderous bear who would kill me if he ever had the chance.
He has no interest in sharing a body. He fucking hates me.
The feral grizzly wants to be out all the time. He’d be happy to keep me locked up for the rest of our lives. He’d be even happier to sink his teeth into my neck.
Unfortunately for him, we never cross paths. When he’s out, I’m in, and when I’m out, he’s pissed.
He bounds for the surface and this time he nearly slips through. I flex my body tight, gritting my teeth as I shove him back down. He’s tough. And relentless.
One fucking coffee. Is that too much to ask?
He snarls back at me. He hates it when I talk to him.
He hates everything about me.
This is why it’s best to be alone. He’s always provoking me. Always challenging me.
Constantly growling in my ear. It’s hard to have a conversation when all you hear is hissing and howling. Hey, how’s it going? Roaring. Nice weather today. Snarling.
It never stops. And it always puts me in a bad mood.
The guys in the camp are always laughing, smiling, and joking around. I can’t join in. I just can’t.
It’s hard to joke around when all of your concentration is focused on holding back a two-ton wild grizzly bear who would gladly slaughter all of them if I let up for half a second.
It was easier in the past when I was the enforcer of the crew. Violence has always made my nasty bear tolerable. It’s the only thing that seems to make him shut the fuck up for a few breaths.
And back when I was an enforcer, there was a constant stream of asses to kick. Now that it’s peacetime, it’s harder than ever.
Fucking dragons. They came and took away the only thing that kept me sane.
Now, it’s impossible to be around people. So, I stay away from the crew. I live in the forest like an animal. It’s better this way.
Lonely, but better.
I still try to help out the guys in any way I can. I bring them food. Survey the borders of the ranch. Scare away the wolves. Shit like that.
My bear doesn’t give a shit about a crew though. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.
It kills me that he’s always picking fights with them. He chased after Lachlan’s new girl, whatever her name is. I was fighting him back the whole time, but luckily, Lachlan arrived just in time to help.
And that poor kid, Caleb. My ferocious fucking grizzly sliced his chest open in the forest a few days ago. I don’t know much about the kid, but I know he didn’t deserve that.
The guilt is as bad as the loneliness sometimes, but what can I do? I can’t control this feral monster. He does what he wants. And what he wants is violence.
I just want to be left alone.
That’s all I can hope for. That and a fucking cup of coffee once in a while.
My shoulders slump in disappointment when I see the coffee pot by the fire pit. Or, what’s left of it.
The intense growling stops in my ears for a second as I pick up the crushed tin pot. Coffee grounds are scattered all over the forest floor.
“You did this on purpose,” I mutter. “Didn’t you?”
My bear grumbles. Why does he hate me so much?
Before I can think of an answer, he rips forward with the power of a stampeding herd of bison and I lose my grip.
My body burns as the savage bear claws its way up and out to freedom.
He explodes out of me with a violent roar as I get shoved down inside like a prisoner.
I watch with a sense of hopelessness as he smashes through the forest about to start another murderous rampage.
This psycho is public enemy number one for what’s left of the deer population.
He skids to a stop, turns, and runs back to the cave. With a fiendish grumble, he stomps on my coffee pot a couple more times before leaving once again.
Like I said, he’s a fucking asshole.
When my frustrating roommate has finally killed and eaten enough for the day, I’m able to slip back out. I catch him in a moment of distraction, and surge forward, pulling him back in.
He fights me the whole way down.
It’s late afternoon now and the summer air is cool. It feels good on my hot and sweaty skin.
I’m filthy. Caked with dirt and dried blood. I have a horrible taste in my mouth and I don’t even want to think about what I must smell like.
I head straight for the river with my aggravating bear complaining in my ear the entire time. It makes me so damn irritable.
Without thinking, I punch a thick tree that I pass, leaving five deep dents in the trunk. It just encourages my bear. He steps up his torment, harassing me even louder.
A few minutes later, I’m in the river, cleaning myself off. I have some soap I’ve stashed away between two rocks that I use to clean my hair and body. The clear river water doesn’t look so fresh after it passes by me.
I brush my teeth with a new toothbrush that Maximus left for me. He’s the only one who understands. He’s the only person I’ve been able to be around for longer than five minutes.
He’s my alpha, and as much as my bear hates to be around others, he still submits to Maximus’ grizzly. I don’t know why. Maybe even the most out of control creatures need some sort of grounding.
I leave the river, feeling clean and invigorated. It’s such a beautiful night. The sun is up. Not a cloud in the sky. It’s the kind of summer night where barbecues roar and drinks flow.
I’m better off alone—I know that, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get lonely.
And on nights like these, the longing gets so intense tha
t it aches.
I take a deep breath of the cool air and hike to the mountain that overlooks the camp in the far distance. It doesn’t take me long to get there.
The twins are cooking up a feast. I can almost smell it from here.
The fire is going and Maximus is handing out beers. The two girls are there. Lachlan and Caleb’s girls. I don’t know their names.
I sit down on the dirt and watch with a longing gaze. I can’t join them, but I can watch. It makes me feel a bit better. Like I’m a part of something.
My breath quickens when I see a third girl. A new one.
She has long blonde curls that bounce on her shoulders with every beautiful step that she takes. She looks like an angel. She is an angel.
My chest hurts as I watch her. Who is she? What is she doing there?
The twins are all over her, handing her drinks, pulling a chair out for her, touching her whenever they can. It makes me want to grab them and turn them into Siamese twins by smashing their heads together.
Even my bear is growling as I watch. We finally agree on something.
I’m mesmerized by her. It hurts to take my eyes off her, so I don’t.
I’ve never felt anything like this for a girl before, but this is no ordinary girl. This is an angel.
I want her. More than I want to be alone. More than I want anything else.
The crushing realization of my hopeless situation comes crashing down on me like boulders. I can’t have pretty things like her. I can’t be around people.
My cruel bear would just ruin it like he’s ruined everything else.
So I watch.
And I yearn.
Because it’s all I can do.
3
Nora
“This is quite the life you have here,” I say, marveling at Jessie as her gorgeous man refills her wine glass. He refills mine next. I like him already.
“I can’t complain,” she says with a grin. “Back home, I had every comfort imaginable. Brand new Audi every year, a beautiful suite overlooking Chicago, all the designer clothes that I wanted… and now look at me. A ratty old pickup truck that only plays baseball on the radio, a log cabin that could fit in my old bedroom, and dirty jeans and hiking boots.”
She laughs. “This is way better,” she says with a big smile. “I wouldn’t trade this for a fleet of Lamborghinis.”
“This place suits you,” I say, nodding as I look at the white cowboy hat on her head. “I’m so happy you’re happy.”
She grins. “Me too.”
“I’ve been so worried about you for the past few weeks,” I say, shaking my head. “If only I knew you were living your dream life up here. It might have saved me a few grey hairs.”
The truth is, I’ve been worried about Jessie my whole life. I still am. If my father finds her here, her dream life will become a nightmare.
We’re sitting by the fire, drinking wine as the boys clean up in the outdoor kitchen. The twins keep turning every few seconds to smile at me.
“I think they like you,” Jessie says with a laugh. “I’ve never seen them like this before.”
I giggle as I smile back at her. “I’m here to see my sister. That’s it.”
I only say it loud enough for Jessie to hear, but for some reason, the twins both groan in disappointment. Maximus and Lachlan start laughing at them.
“Looks like you’re going to have to jerk each other off again tonight, boys,” Lachlan says with a chuckle.
“Just ignore them,” Jessie says with a roll of her eyes. “They’re still boys at heart.”
Caleb and Abigail come walking over and sit down on two of the empty chairs. They went for a walk after dinner to watch the sunset. They still have that adorable look of new love on their faces whenever they look at each other. They’re so cute.
“So, you’re a psychologist?” Abigail asks, trying to make some friendly conversation.
“I am,” I answer. Wait. Can I still be a psychologist if I’m unemployed?
“You should open up an office here,” Caleb says with a laugh. “I know a lot of tortured men around here who could use a therapist.”
He glances at the forest and his eyes narrow. “I know someone who could really use a shrink.”
I turn in the direction he’s looking in and immediately feel cold shivers snake up my back like there’s something or someone in there watching me.
Abigail quickly changes the subject, telling me how she’s a lifeguard down at the lake. “You should come swimming,” she says. “It’s a gorgeous lake with a nice sandy beach.”
Caleb slides his arm around her proudly. “With the world’s hottest lifeguard.”
Her cheeks start to turn red as she looks up at him. God, they’re adorable.
I want that.
I chuckle to myself, picturing myself in her shoes. Instead of blushing, I would probably be analyzing the tone of his speech and wondering what his deep-rooted subconscious motivations for saying that would be. Maybe Jessie was right. Maybe I do have a tendency to see my boyfriends as test cases and not men.
I try to be their shrink when I should just be their girlfriend.
“Who would like dessert?” Ronin asks, rushing over.
Tito hurries past him, elbowing him out of the way. “Nora, do you like chocolate?”
“I do.”
They both smile the exact same smile.
“Well, you’re in luck,” Ronin says, pushing Tito to the side. “Because we have a chocolate cream pie.”
Tito pushes back. “I made it myself.”
“No, you didn’t!” Ronin snaps. “I was there when you bought it at the store.”
Tito rears on him with his muscles flexed and his jaw tight. “Why did you tell her that, you jerk?”
“Because you told her I farted during dinner.”
“You did!”
“But you didn’t have to tell her!”
I lost track of who’s who. And when they start wrestling, forget it.
Lachlan turns to me with a look of embarrassment as they knock over a chair while fighting on the ground. “We don’t get a lot of women coming around here.”
I laugh. “I can see why.”
The twins are wrestling on the ground, trying to shove dirt into each other’s mouths.
Maximus tosses the dishtowel onto the counter and stomps over with a hard look on his face. I hold my breath as he grabs one twin in each hand and lifts them off the ground easily. Wow, that guy is strong.
“We have a guest,” he says in a voice that gushes with authority. “Start acting like it.”
The twins both look embarrassed as he lets them go. I watch with a grin on my face as they both casually walk over to two empty chairs and sit down. Both of their hair is a mess and they both have leaves stuck to their shirts. “So, Nora,” one of them says in a calm voice. “Do you come here often?”
Jessie and I laugh while the guys roll their eyes.
“You have to be kidding me?” Jessie says, staring at them with a look of disbelief. “Do you know anything about women?”
“They know a little something,” I say, offering an olive branch. “They got the chocolate cream pie right.”
They both smile.
I smile back. “As long as they don’t try to hand feed it to me, we’ll be okay.”
The rest of the night is a blast. We sit around the campfire as the stars come out overhead. The warm smell of burning wood mixed with the sweet smell of wine is making the perfect atmosphere. There’s a warm breeze swirling about and I’m laughing more than I have in years as we all sit around and talk.
“I can’t believe you get to do this all the time,” I say to Jessie when we walk to her cabin to go to the bathroom. “I’d be watching some crappy reality TV show at home right now, and you’re having a party and getting spoiled by a gaggle of hot muscular men.”
She looks up at the stars with a content look on her face. “It is pretty perfect.”
It is perfect.
But it can all come crashing down around her.
She’s not the only one in danger. She’s putting her friends at risk too just by being here. And it’s driving me crazy how she’s so relaxed about it all. She’s in total denial.
“Jessie,” I say, stopping her. “Did you use your real name and social security number on the forms when you got hired as a waitress?”
She takes a deep breath and sighs. “I’m not hiding anymore,” she says with a firm resolve. “If Dad or any other goons want to come and get me, I’m right here. They’re more than welcome to try. The days of me cowering in front of him are over.”
She’s truly not afraid. I’ve never been so proud of her, even though she is being a total idiot.
“And what about your nice friends?” I ask, trying to make her see. “What about Lachlan? What are big muscles going to do against bullets? Are you going to be able to forgive yourself if they get hurt?”
She takes a deep breath and stares at my feet. “I’m one of them now,” she finally says. “They’d die for me just like I’d die for them.”
“You sound like you’re in a cult,” I say, staring at her in shock. My mind flashes back to the sign we passed on the way in. The Grisly Grizzlies. What kind of place is this?
Jessie’s face softens and she laughs. “It’s not a cult,” she says with a smile. “It’s my new family.”
My chest aches at hearing that. I thought I was her family. I know we’re only half sisters and we grew up apart, but I can’t help but feel left out. Then, I immediately feel guilty for the thought. Jessie deserves all the love in the world. She deserves more than what I can give her.
“I know,” I say, feeling tense. “I just get so worried.”
She takes the white cowboy hat off her head and plops it on mine. “You’re in Montana now,” she says with a grin. “Don’t worry so much. It’s against the law out here.”
“Okay,” I say with a laugh. “I’ll try. A couple of more glasses of that delicious wine and I’ll be there.”
She holds her stomach and winces. “Speaking of which… I have to go pee.”
I laugh as she turns and runs to the cabin by the river. It’s such a beautiful night and I rarely get to see the stars, so I take my time, waltzing along and looking up at the gorgeous night sky. The warm breeze hits my face and I smile. How could you possibly worry when living in a place like this? It feels so secluded like you’re on another planet.
