“No, I didn’t mean it like that. Thanks for picking up the card.” I took the pen she held out and scrawled my signature on the card.
“My list is done. What else can I do?” she asked. “The dry cleaning isn’t ready yet.”
Since I’d dressed her down over her outfit, Killian, and her general laziness, Nicole had been a model employee. I was relieved to finally have a decent assistant.
“Sounds like you’re done for the day,” I said. “And if you want to go home this weekend, book a flight on my credit card. I don’t expect you to stay here every weekend.”
“It’s fine.” She picked up the card, took the pen and left my office.
Did she think I was bothered by her frosty attitude? I wasn’t. At all.
But my fight with Killian had been on my mind constantly. I’d tossed and turned for hours in bed last night. No matter how hard I tried to step back and see what I’d done wrong, I couldn’t come up with anything.
We needed to talk about it. I grabbed my phone and pressed send. If he didn’t respond, I’d know where I stood with him.
My phone dinged with a return text just a few seconds later.
Killian: I’ll be there. Is six okay?
I breathed out a sigh of relief and wrote back that it was.
Though it was earlier than I ever left work, my focus was shot. I powered down my computer, grabbed my stuff and headed out.
As I made dinner this time my mood was more somber than it had been the last time I’d known Killian was coming over. Mechanically, I prepared the scallops and the salad, my mind wandering.
Hopefully I wasn’t assuming too much by making dinner. I was still mad, and he probably was, too. But I was hungry, dammit, and he didn’t have to eat if he didn’t want to.
The doorbell rang, and I took a fortifying breath before walking into the foyer to answer it.
I opened the door and looked Killian over. His expression was unreadable.
“Can I come in?” he asked.
“That’s why I texted you.”
“Smartass.”
I stepped aside and he came in. When I closed the door, we regarded each other in silence.
“I didn’t ask you over here so I could beg for forgiveness,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. “But since I made the first move, I’ll let you say what you want to say first.”
“What’s cooking?” He looked toward the kitchen. “It smells really good.”
“Scallops.”
He nodded and looked down at his feet. After a few seconds, he looked back up and met my eyes.
“I’m sorry I got so mad at you,” he said. “I realize I overreacted.”
“It was a shock. I thought you’d be happy, and I wasn’t prepared for that reaction. But I could’ve handled it better, too. So, I’m sorry too.”
He took off his hoodie and threw it on the couch. “Do I get to stay for dinner?”
“First you have to apologize for saying I shoved your face in my cunt.”
His brows arched with amusement. “Why? You did. It was fuckin’ hot.”
“You make me sound like a sex-crazed maniac who makes you service her.”
“You’re making me hard, Sid.”
I glared at him. “I’m serious. You want the scallops, you apologize for what you said.”
“It wasn’t an insult!”
“How would you feel if I made a comment about you ramming your cock down my throat?”
“Turned on.”
I rolled my eyes and threw up my hands. “Fine. Forget it.”
He laughed softly and covered the distance between us, wrapping his arms around me.
“Hey, I was teasing.” He tipped my chin up so we were at eye level. “I’m sorry for making you feel like shoving my face in your pussy was anything but amazing. I loved it, Sid. I jerked off in the shower while thinking about it this morning.”
“Okay, you can stay for dinner.”
“Should I ram my cock down your throat so you can make a comment and we’ll be even?”
I couldn’t help smiling. “You’ve got to play a lot of cards right before that’s happening, Captain.”
We headed into the kitchen and he helped me get dinner on the table. We ate a few bites before talking again.
“So I need to tell you something,” he said, setting his fork down. “Something I don’t talk about much.”
“Okay.”
He rubbed both hands over his face and took several sips of wine.
“So I grew up in a small town in Maryland,” he said. “My parents tried for a kid for several years before they had me. And then my dad passed away suddenly before I turned one.”
“I’m so sorry.”
He nodded his acknowledgement. “My mom never remarried. She raised me on her own. And even though money was tight, she always found enough for me to play hockey. I started playing when I was five and I was hooked. She was in the stands of every game I ever played. The day I got my scholarship offer, she cried her eyes out. Said it was the best day of her life.”
He was looking down at his plate as he spoke. I wanted to move closer to him, but I stayed still, wanting to give him my full attention.
“So she moved to State College to be able to attend my college games. And at the start of my senior year, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was advanced, stage four. She fought it, but … it was a losing fight. It would’ve been for anyone. She died three months before my graduation.”
His voice had wavered a couple times and he paused to regain himself. My heart broke for him. Both parents gone, and he was only twenty-six.
“I went off the deep end for a while,” he continued. “I wanted to drop out of school with every fiber of my being, but me graduating from college was my mom’s dream. But playing in the NHL lost all appeal for me. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t stand the thought of that first game, knowing she wouldn’t be in the stands. I hated the money. She sacrificed for me and I played hard knowing I’d buy her a dream house and pay for her to travel the world when I made it. I don’t know if it makes sense, but making a lot of money when she was gone … it became painful for me. I just couldn’t.”
“It makes sense.” I reached across the table and took his hand. “Killian, I’m so sorry. If I’d had any idea, I never would’ve—”
“I know.” He squeezed my hand.
“This is why you sabotaged yourself,” I said softly as realization dawned. “You wanted to scare the NHL teams away from you.”
He shrugged, finally looking up at me. “Sort of. The reckless behavior was just me hurting over my mom. But when I started to make the connection that I was becoming the guy no one would touch, that motivated me to keep doing it.”
“You’ve done well for yourself,” I said. “Coping with all that pain and still finding your way back to pro hockey, in a way that worked for you.”
“I don’t know. I thought I had it all figured out until you came along. But now … dammit, this makes me sound like a pussy.”
“It doesn’t. Just say it.”
“Now I think about you watching me from the stands. Or your throne in the box, whatever.”
I poked him in the ribs. “I don’t have a throne, Killian.”
“I’ve got someone to play for again. Getting in trouble isn’t fun anymore.”
I got up from my seat and went to his, swinging a leg over his lap and sitting down. We were chest to chest, and I took his bristled cheeks in my hands.
“Nothing anyone has ever said to me has made me feel as good as what you just said. If you’re on the ice, I’m watching you. And whether it’s a good idea or a bad one, this is happening. You and me. It’s already happening, and I want to stop pretending we can stop it. I don’t want to stop it.”
“Me either. But I don’t want to make problems for you.”
“I need to be with you more than I need to avoid those problems,” I said, resting my forehead on his. “I’ll handle it, if anything co
mes up.”
“Yeah, speaking of things coming up …” He grabbed my ass and pushed me against him, making me sigh against his mouth from the feel of his erection.
“So your vulnerability sealed the deal,” I said. “Now I have to let you ram your cock down my throat.”
He arched a brow at me and grinned. “Damn right. Why do you think I told you all that?”
His lips brushed against mine and he pulled me against him tightly. Our kiss started soft and slow, both of us savoring it. When Killian’s lips wandered down to my jaw line and then to my neck, my desire turned into need.
“Can we be done with dinner?” I said.
“Hell yes, we can.” He scooted the chair back from the table and stood, picking me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me through the kitchen, my lips on his neck now. I couldn’t get enough of his salty skin. I kissed, nibbled and even bit him on the trip to my bedroom.
“Damn,” he said in a low tone. “That feels good. But you need to lay still and be a good girl while I finish what I started in that storage room.”
He eased me down onto the bed, our bodies never disconnecting.
“I want all of you,” I said in his ear. “I want you inside me.”
“Patience, baby. You need to learn how to take orders instead of giving them all the time.”
His commanding tone only increased my desperation. He slid my shirt off and teased my nipples though my satin bra. His mouth was warm, even though the fabric. And when he ventured lower, to my stomach, my back arched up from the bed.
“Pinch your nipples,” he said, looking up at me through hooded eyes after kissing my belly button. I hesitated for a second before complying. I’d never touched myself in front of a man, but for the first time, I wanted to.
I squeezed my nipples through my bra, which was wet from his mouth. The harder I pinched, the better it felt. I was burning with pleasure and pain as Killian undressed me the rest of the way, saving my bra for last.
Then he lowered his face to my thighs, kissing up and down the insides until I was a moaning mess of frenzied nerve endings. He spread my legs wide apart and brushed his tongue across my clit, stopping just in time to stop me from climaxing.
“Killian,” I cried, “I’m so close. Please let me come with you inside me.”
A deep groan vibrated in his chest. “You sure?”
“A thousand percent. Please.”
He eyed me with a mixture of reverence and lust as he stood to drop his boxers and jeans to the floor. He made quick work of getting a condom out of his wallet and rolling it on.
His warmth radiated against my skin when he returned to his position on top of me.
“Remember what I said, Sid,” he said, looking into my eyes. “I can’t go back after this. Once you come, you’re mine.”
“As long as you’re mine, too.” I ran my hands up his hard biceps, over his shoulders and neck and into his hair.
“I’m already yours.” He entered me in a single, powerful thrust and my body instinctively arched against him.
“More,” I said, panting the word out.
He kissed me, his tongue caressing mine softly. Then he took my wrists in his hands and pinned them over the top of my head. My lack of control was an erotic thrill. I trusted him to take care of me in ways I’d never known.
I kept my eyes on him as he thrust himself into me, deep and slow. His expression was twisted with satisfaction, his muscles flexed and tense.
When he began pounding into me hard and fast, I found myself at the brink in a hurry. The physical and emotional sensations pulled me under and I cried out Killian’s name over and over. The sound of him grating out my name as we came together made me feel blissfully powerful.
He kissed me and got up to throw away the condom. When he came back around the corner, the warmth of his return washed over me before he’d even gotten to the bed.
We wrapped ourselves around each other, talking in whispered tones as the sun set and blanketed the room in darkness.
I was his, and he was mine. For once, I wasn’t thinking of anything beyond this moment, and nothing had ever felt better.
Chapter 8
Sidney
The scents of mint and warm, manly cologne roused me from a deep, relaxing sleep. These smells were unfamiliar to me, but they made me feel safe and warm and were more than welcome. When I opened my eyes I saw Killian’s big hand on the white sheet that covered me. My back was against his chest and he was wrapped around me, breathing softly.
I turned my head slowly, trying to sneak a glance at my bedside clock without waking him up. Six-fifty one. I’d overslept. I had to get moving.
He was snoring lightly, sound asleep. I thought I’d slide out of bed; leave a note and head to the gym. Getting out from under his arm would be easy, but untangling my top leg from his, not so much.
I moved slowly, freezing in place when he made a sleepy groaning sound. When his breathing evened out, I made my way further across the mattress.
“What are you doin’?” His deep, sleepy voice made me turn. My gaze roved down his long¸ defined form. The lines of muscle on his chest were visible even in the dim morning light. I couldn’t help letting my eyes wander further south to the trail of dark blond hair leading to the reason I’d be sore today. Not that it wasn’t worth it.
“You can look and touch, you know,” he said.
I smiled, my heart thudding happily when my eyes met his. That sleepy grin and those bedroom eyes were every bit as welcome in my bed as his masculine scent.
“Sorry I woke you¸” I said, sliding out from beneath the hand he had resting on my hip.
“It’s okay. You goin’ to the bathroom?”
“Yeah. And then to the gym.”
His hand tightened around my hip and he pulled me back, his arm resting across my stomach while I laid on my back.
“You can work out later.” He leaned up on an elbow and looked down at my face.
“I always work out at six-thirty. I’m already late.” I looked at the clock again.
“I always jerk off in the shower when I wake up, but not today. You can make an exception for me, too.”
I smiled at his comparison.
“Working out clears my mind.”
“Spooning you clears mine.”
Reaching up, I cradled his cheek in my hand. The feel of his short beard against my fingers reminded me of the way his facial hair felt on the softest, most sensitive parts of my body.
“Last night was incredible,” I said, moaning softly as his fingers brushed across my stomach.
“It was. And I’m not ready for it to end, so you’re staying in this bed a little longer.”
I gave a hum of consideration, the idea of not working out was completely foreign to me. “I don’t know …”
His hand was still caressing my stomach, and it crept higher, cupping one of my breasts. When his thumb brushed across my nipple, my low moan gave me away. Even the Ice Queen couldn’t say no to this.
“You’re the sexiest sight I’ve ever seen.” He gazed down at me, his erection pressing against my bare thigh. “Hair all messed up, mascara under your eyes …”
My hand flew up to cover my face. “Oh, no! I never took my makeup off last night. I’ll stay, but let me go wash my face and brush my teeth.”
“No.” Killian slid his knee up the mattress, using it to part my thighs as he pushed himself up on top of me. “I want you like this.”
He wound the fingers of both his hands into mine, his mouth descending to my nipple. The warm, wet sensation of his circling tongue made me forget about yesterday’s makeup.
I spread my thighs wide and wrapped my ankles around his hips, feeling his groan on my breast.
“I can’t wait to fuck you bareback, Sid. I’d love nothing more than to do that warm, wet pussy right now with nothing between us.”
“You can,” I said. “I use a birth control ring. And I reviewed your personal records, s
o I know your STD tests came back clean.”
His low laugh caught me off guard. Hands still wound in mine, he drew them up over my head, leaning on his elbows and looking down at me.
“I love that practical mind,” he said. “Always thinking. But no, not yet.”
I gave him a puzzled look. “I’m completely good with it, Killian. I’ve been tested and I’m clean too, if you’re worried about that.”
“I’m not worried about that.” He paused, seeming to consider his next words. “I’ve never had sex without a condom. And I’m … not ready.”
I moved my hands to his back, stroking them across the wide, hard surface. “Of course. I’m sorry. It’s a big deal that involves a lot of trust. And you can’t be too careful. If you ever want me to I’ll show you my medical records so you know I have the ring and don’t have any STDs.”
His lips curved up in a small smile. “No, Sid. I trust those things. I just meant in an emotional way. I’ve never come inside a woman. It’s about the only thing I’ve never done.”
His sincere expression made my heart melt a little. Killian’s sweet, vulnerable side had been worth working for. His brash exterior protected something wonderful.
“I think that’s great,” I said, cradling his cheek in my hand. “To save that. It’s a pretty great thing to do.”
“At least I’ve got one sacred thing to give you someday. You’ll get that, and I already know what you’re saving for me.”
Yes. Yes. God, yes. I wanted both things badly. It was unlike me to sleep with a man once and then feel such a deep, emotional connection. But I could admit this to myself. I was filled with a warm sense of happiness and security. And now I wanted him in a bad way. He’d exposed himself to me, and I needed to feel closer to him right now.
When he kissed me, the longing wasn’t as hot and frantic as last night. It was tender and slow, his weight on top of me creating an ache in my core. I silently gave thanks when he reached over and picked up a condom from the nightstand. He opened it and slid it on without even needing to look, sliding into me a second later.
“Oooh, Killian.” I squeezed my thighs tighter around him. “God, that’s good.”
He entwined our fingers again and pinned my hands over my head. His hips were in complete command of my body, and I was already climbing toward satisfaction.
Killian Page 10
