by J, Bella
“What? Why?” I glanced down at her, and that was when I saw the bandages on her back. “What is this?”
Onyx stepped in next to me. “She has third-degree burns on her back, Alyx.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“They burned—”
“Onyx, no,” Neon snapped, her voice soft yet stern. “Shut the fuck up, would you?”
I cut my gaze from Onyx to Ink. “Will someone tell me what the fuck those monsters did to her?”
“Swan Lake, stop.” Neon’s voice was almost a whisper. “It’s not important.”
I rounded the bed again, wanting to see her face. “What do you mean, it’s not important? Jesus, Neon.”
Her eye closed for a few seconds and opened again. “I’m fine. Doc, here, is working his magic. The shit he’s giving me ain’t making me feel a thing. I’m okay.”
“No,” I shook my head, “you’re not okay. You’re far from okay.”
“I’m alive. So that means I’m okay.”
I looked back up at the door, but Granite was gone. He left, and I had no clue when.
The doctor injected something into her IV which stood on the other side of the bed, and in that moment it was like all the grief and pain I’d felt ever since I was told she was dead came rushing back, and I closed my eyes as tears rushed down my cheeks.
“Don’t cry, Swan Lake. I’ll be fit as fuck in no time.”
A laugh mixed through my sobs. It was typical Neon, trying to play down the seriousness of what had happened to her.
“I’m so sorry, Neon. I’m so sorry they did this to you.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“But it is. It is my fault. It’s because of me that they hurt you.”
“No.” She tried to shake her head but cringed instead. “It’s not your fault.”
I started to sob, the skin on my cheeks feeling raw from wiping it with the back of my hand. “If Granite had just given me—”
“Stop, Alyx.”
Her using my real name made me swallow my words.
“Stop, would you? It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault.”
I bit into my lip so hard I tasted the blood. “If he had just given me up—”
“It wouldn’t have changed a thing.”
“How can you say that? If he wasn’t such a selfish bastard—”
“Stop!” Neon coughed and winced from the pain.
Ink stepped up. “That’s enough. She needs to rest.” He grabbed my shoulders to get me to move, but I pushed back.
“I’m not leaving.”
“Yeah, you are. You’re upsetting her.”
I noticed the tattoos covering his entire neck. Red roses with thorns stretched along his throat, and two crosses ran down the edges of his face where the sides of his beard should have been. Clearly, this man had no problem with needles. His glare burned holes in my forehead.
“Please,” I begged.
“Leave.” His grip on my shoulders tightened, and then from out of nowhere, Granite came storming into the room, his heavy footsteps echoing around us.
“Let go of her.”
Ink didn’t look his way. “She needs to leave.”
“I said let go of her.” Granite grabbed Ink’s hands and ripped them away from my shoulders, forcing his way between me and Ink. “Touch her again, and I will end you.”
The dark atmosphere was palpable as Granite and Ink continued to glare at each other. Ink didn’t back down, not even an inch. And neither did Granite. It was like two gods standing tall, ready to obliterate each other. Menace oozed from Granite’s pores, while Ink made it obvious he wouldn’t stop protecting what was his. And, clearly, Neon was his.
“Ink, back down, would ya?” Neon murmured. “Wait at least until I’m able to watch you kill each other with both eyes.”
Ink’s shoulders remained squared. “Your girl is upsetting mine,” he said to Granite, and Neon snorted.
“What-fucking-ever, man. I’m not your girl.”
“Neon, we spoke about this.”
“Bullshit. You spoke about it. I’m not your girl.”
Ink cut his gaze from Granite down to her. “Stop fighting it, Neon. Just admit you’ve wanted me ever since you first laid eyes on me.”
“Fuck you. I wouldn’t want your dick even if it was the last one on Earth.”
“You’re not fooling anyone, Neon.” Ink turned to face her. “I’ve featured in every wet dream you’ve ever had.”
Neon attempted to laugh and closed her eye. “Sorry, dude. I’ve never had a wet dream about a walking STD.”
Onyx was first to laugh before everyone else erupted in laughter. Even me. It was truly her. Not even pain and torture could stop her sense of humor. But as I laughed, tears joined, and my laughter slowly turned into soft cries.
“Ink, move your ass back so Swan Lake can move up.”
Ink glanced from her, to me, to Granite—then back to her as he slowly stepped back. “There you go.” Neon smiled. “Now, sit in the corner like the good little watchdog you are.”
Ink shot her a cocky grin. “The only dog you’ll get from me is with you bent forward, sweet cheeks.”
“Gross.”
I let out another chuckle and moved closer. “Neon—”
“It’s okay, Swan Lake. I’m fine. You, on the other hand,” she took a breath and closed her eye briefly, “you look like shit.” Her words came out with shallow breaths. She was exhausted. “Let me guess, you’re on another hunger strike?”
I didn’t say anything. I simply stood there, still trying to accept the fact that she was alive and breathing. It was really her.
“Do me a favor, would ya? Don’t hate the boss man.”
“What do you mean?”
She closed her eye and took a breath. “I made Granite promise me he wouldn’t tell you.”
“What? Why?” I leaned with my elbow on the bed, lightly touching her arm with my fingers.
She smiled half-heartedly. “You’re too fragile for this world, Swan Lake. You were already tearing at the seams. I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
“Neon—”
“I’m serious, Alyx. Believe me, if I had my way, you wouldn’t be here right now. But these assholes overruled me.” She rolled her eyes. “Plus, Onyx told me you weren’t eating, so I figured I’d let Granite off the hook and tell you.”
I reached out to gently touch the side of her face, but thought better of it, afraid I might hurt her. “He promised you, huh?”
“Yup.” She let out a breath, and I could hear she was tired.
I glanced up at Granite. “So, he was just doing what needed to be done.”
“Exactly. He might be a pain in the ass, Swan Lake, but his word is solid.”
“Yeah,” I breathed while keeping my gaze on him for a second longer, starting to see the bigger picture of what was going on.
“Listen,” Neon started, “I’m about to crash. Just,” she opened her eye, staring at me for a moment, “eat something, would you? No one likes a bony ass.”
I chuckled. “Only if you promise to get better soon.”
“Deal. Now, leave. You assholes are giving me a headache. That includes you, Ink.”
“Not a chance.”
“Jesus. What does a person have to do to get you to leave? Die?”
Ink crossed his arms. “Not even then.”
“Fuck,” she cursed. “Asshole.”
I smiled. “Neon, you have no idea how happy I am to know you’re alive.”
“Yeah, you and me both, Swan Lake.” Her words slurred, and within seconds, her breath found a slow rhythm as she fell asleep.
A hand wrapped around my elbow, and I knew it was Granite by the way my skin tingled underneath his touch. “Come on.”
I met his eyes. “Promise me I can come see her again.”
“Alyx—”
“Promise me.”
He let out a breath then answered me with a simple nod. But I took
a moment to look at him, my heart aching, and a gnawing pain slowly tearing at my insides. Granite was tearing me apart…little by little.
I brushed past him and out of the room. By the heavy footsteps that followed, I knew he was behind me, and the second I heard the door shut, I spun around. He was so tall I had to crane my neck in order to look him in the eye.
“What exactly did they do to her?”
“Alyx—”
“Tell me. And don’t you dare sugar-coat it.”
Granite pulled out a cigarette, cursing under his breath. “They broke her arm.”
“That’s obvious.”
He indicated with his finger to his cheek. “Those wounds on her face. It’s cigarette burns.”
My stomach turned. “What else?”
“Don’t do this to yourself. What’s done is done. No one can change the past, so it doesn’t matter now.”
I stepped closer. “It matters to me. I want to know what those monsters did to her. Did they…” I couldn’t say it. “Did they…”
“Rape her?” He finished my question, taking a deep drag of his cigarette then tossing it to the ground. “Yeah, Alyx. They did.” Suddenly, his face turned as hard as stone, his expression cruel and menacing. “They raped her repeatedly in every way they could think of. And not just with their dicks.”
I stumbled back. “What?”
“That’s right, Alyx. Believe me when I say you don’t have the stomach to deal with what they did to her.”
“Tell me.
“No.”
“Granite.”
“See, this is exactly why I fucking lied to you. I knew you’d push. I knew you wouldn’t be happy with just knowing she’s alive. Goddammit, Alyx. Isn’t it enough, the fact she’s still fucking breathing?”
“No!” I shouted. “No. It’s not enough. It’s not fucking enough. I want to know every little thing that happened to her because I want to carry the burden with her. Maybe if I knew what kind of hell she’d been through, she wouldn’t have to deal alone.”
Granite cocked his head, and his eyes flashed with awareness. “And then you’d feel less guilty.”
I stood there staring at him, unable to say anything further. He was right. Maybe if I was halfway into the same hell as she was, I’d feel less…guilty.
Granite loomed over me, his dark brows drawn together. “There is no place for guilt in our world. Feeling guilt makes you weak. And weakness will get you killed.”
I didn’t back down, squaring my shoulders, not giving a damn that he could crush me if he wanted to. “Feeling guilt makes me human. Feeling anything makes me human.” My anger turned to courage, and my voice grew louder with every word. “Being human, feeling things, might make me weak in your eyes, but I don’t give a shit. I’d rather feel something and die than live without feeling anything. This world you’re in—the world you forced me into, it’s hell.”
“You’re damn fucking right it’s hell.” Granite’s eyes darkened, the vein in his neck pulsing. “You wanna know what they did to her? You wanna know exactly what evil shit goes down here in hell, ballerina girl?” His words were laced with intentions to hurt while he towered over me, intimidating me. “They raped her with more than just their filthy cocks. They did things to her body that go beyond the most fucked-up thing you can ever imagine, and I bet she begged them to shove their penises up her ass rather than do to her what they did.” He took a step closer. “They beat her, Alyx. They made her bleed. They made her scream. And those third degree burns on her back, wanna know how she got those?”
I retreated more, the look in his eyes scaring me. It was like evil possessed him, and his words became malignant as he spat them out one by one.
“Granite, stop.” My back hit the wall.
“You wanted to know, so I’m telling you. Ask me, Alyx. Ask me how she got those motherfucking third-degree burns.”
I shook my head, no longer convinced I wanted to know.
Granite slammed his fist against the wall behind me. “Ask me!” His voice rumbled, and it shook me to the core, causing me to whimper, closing my eyes from fear.
He grabbed my chin, and I yelped as his fingers pressed painfully into my jaw. Looming closer, his face was inches from mine. “Ask. Me.”
A shudder wracked down my spine straight to every limb, the wild look in his eyes forcing fear deep inside my chest. “How?”
“A fucking blowtorch.” He said it like it amused him. “They marked her by melting the skin off her back in the shape of a fucking S.” He leaned his head to the side, his eyes dark and merciless. “When we found her, there wasn’t a single inch of her that wasn’t bruised or broken. Her eye is so damaged from a beating, the doc thinks she might be blind in the one eye.”
“Granite—”
“The skin on her thighs had been cut, shredded in so many places it looks like fucking spider webs sliced across her flesh.”
I swallowed hard. “Stop, please.”
He scowled at me while I tried to make myself as small as possible between him and the wall. “Those fuckers raped her in so many ways, she had to have surgery so they could repair internal damage.”
I gasped.
“That’s right, Alyx. They fucked her so bad, they tore her apart.”
“Stop!”
But he tightened his hold on my jaw while forcing me to look him in the eye. “So, tell me, ballerina girl. Tell me which is better. Thinking she’s dead…or knowing exactly how they tortured her?”
My lips quivered, and I desperately tried to swallow my tears. I had never felt so haunted before in my life. Haunted by the knowledge of what Neon had been through. The pain. The fear. All I had was the memory of my own nightmare. She lived through it. She experienced it. My nightmare was her reality. The thought alone had me wanting to break down and turn into nothing but a heap of sobs.
I closed my eyes, no longer able to keep the tears from falling. His thumb wiped at the side of my mouth, his grip on my jaw loosening a little.
“They hurt her, ballerina girl.” The cold tone is his voice dissipated. “They fucking hurt her so bad, and there was nothing I could do.”
I opened my eyes, and the look on his face took me completely by surprise, almost knocking me off my feet. His expression was no longer stone, but rather burdened. He too was hurt and haunted.
“I was too late.” His jaw tightened. “I was too fucking late, and I couldn’t stop them.”
Jesus. The look in his eyes was nothing short of guilt, remorse…blame. I would have been a fool if I didn’t see it. For the first time, I could see past the hard exterior he wore so well, and I saw a man who hated himself. Blamed himself. God knew, I blamed him too. While I thought she was dead, I blamed him, while I blamed myself as well. But now, right here in this moment, my heart broke. Not for Neon. Not for me. But for him.
“How did you find her?” I never took my eyes off him, but he abruptly let go of me and stepped back.
“They tossed her outside the club doors.”
“What?” I narrowed my eyes, confused. “Why? You didn’t give me up, so why did they give her back?”
Suddenly, Granite seemed off kilter, shifting from one leg to the other. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course, it does. It doesn’t make sense that they would just give her back without you keeping to your end of the bargain.”
Granite’s jaw ticked, his eyes wild and dark. “It doesn’t. Fucking. Matter. Okay? Can’t you just accept that she’s alive, and move the fuck on?”
“What? No.”
He roughly raked his fingers through his hair. “That’s it. I’m done. You’re going back to your room.”
“Wait.” I grabbed his hand. “How did you manage to get her back, Granite?”
A sarcastic grin spread along his face even though a cruel glint remained in his eyes. “You’re not the only one who can bargain with the devil, ballerina girl.”
“What does that even mean?”
H
e pulled his palm down his face. “Nothing. Now, get back in your room.”
“Granite, stop. You’re avoiding my question.”
He snorted. “I can promise you it’s not the only thing I’m avoiding when it comes to you.”
“Granite. Just answer my goddamn question.”
“He made a deal with the Pythons.” Onyx’s voice came from behind me, and I turned to face him.
“Stay out of this, little brother,” Granite warned.
Onyx shrugged. “Why? It doesn’t seem like you’re going to tell her the truth, so I’m going to.”
“Mind your own damn business, Onyx.”
Onyx smirked turning his attention to me. “Granite offered them the one thing they’ve always wanted ever since they came riding onto our turf.”
I glanced from Onyx to Granite. “What did you give them?”
Granite kept on glaring at Onyx, lips curled, animosity pulsing off him.
Onyx ignored his brother. “Granite offered them the business with the Sixes in exchange for Neon’s life.”
“Who are the Sixes?”
“Our biggest client. Was our biggest client.”
“I’m sorry,” I shook my head, “I’m not sure I understand.”
Onyx walked closer. “Let’s simplify it, then. Without the Sixes, the Kings are nothing. The Sixes were our bread and butter. It’s because of them that our business thrived. Now that we handed the reins to the Pythons, we’re basically…what’s the word?” He feigned a look of confusion. “Oh, yeah…fucked.”
I frowned at Granite. “Is that true?”
“Of course, it is,” Onyx answered for him. “But my big brother has this huge guilt trip happening, so he doesn’t really want you to know.”
“Okay.” I held out my hands, pointing to both in each direction, standing right in the middle of them. “I’m starting to feel dizzy.”
“It’s easy, Alyx,” Onyx continued. “Granite is so stuck on that guilt trip he’s currently on, he doesn’t want you to know that he basically cut the throats of our crew in order to save Neon’s life.”
I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”
Onyx shrugged. “He doesn’t want you to forgive him,” Onyx studied his brother, “because he can’t forgive himself.”
