Ava squirmed in her seat. The heaviness of his stare acted like a balmy, humid breeze over her heated skin. Or like the caress of a calloused hand. She felt it move from the crown of her head, down the length of her hair to her breasts and then swoop back up to her face. Taking a deep breath, she came face to face with his handsomely rugged face and soulful eyes.
This was the one who’d broken her heart. Left her and never made an attempt to reach out. True, at the time, she wasn’t an ideal partner, but he hadn’t given her a chance to change, to redeem herself, or be there for him when his mother died. Staring into the warm depths of those dark eyes of his, her heart melted, and she was finding it hard to maintain her irritation.
He started, as if taken by surprise, and the mood was broken.
Gripping her hands tightly on her lap, she inquired, “What can I do for you, Puck?”
“Ava,” he rasped out.
The longing in his tone took her aback. She plucked at her heavy wool sweater. Licked her lips. Swallowed hard around the lump in her throat.
“W-what did you want to discuss with me?”
“Fuck, babe, you don’t know what it does to me to look at you. You look like a fuckin’ angel. So soft and pretty. I’ve been in the hole for days. Just got released into general population yesterday.”
She inhaled harshly. “You were in the SHU that long?”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter.” He shook his head. “Seeing you makes the hell go away.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m so sorry, Puck,” she heaved out, reaching over her desk and grabbing his hand. A wave of electricity pulsed through her fingers and up her arm. Shit, she shouldn’t have done that. Quickly, she released it and clasped her hands together. Biting hard on the inside of her cheek, she slowed down her breathing. Focus. Be professional. Focus, dammit.
“I’m glad seeing me makes you feel better, but I don’t want you to think that we could…you know…be together. I understand it’s hard to be here, but you’ll get out and reunite with Sammi and your club. You’ll go back to living your regular life, and everything will return to normal. Most importantly, you’ll feel normal again.”
His right eye twitched almost imperceptibly. As a social worker, she’d learned to read micro facial expressions, but even more than that, she knew him.
“You think I’m saying this because I’m stuck in here? That I’m desperate, and that’s why I want you?”
“Well, it’s to be expected. You’re a red-blooded male, and we know how active you are.” What in God’s name are you saying? Shut up and stop babbling. She cleared her throat. “This is a crazy situation, and on top of that, you were in solitary. The stress of being in isolation could lead anyone to start thinking things they usually wouldn’t…think…of…” She trailed off. Oh, just shut up. Years ago, she would’ve grabbed at any chance to be back with him. Anything. That was before she’d built up a resentment the size of the Grand Canyon. The point was that he was basically a trapped animal.
Abruptly, Puck leaned over and was in her face, his fingers pinching her chin. “Listen, Ava, and listen real fucking good. I want you because you were the love of my fucking life. I don’t have an old lady. Never had a long-term girlfriend. Why? Because no one could hold a candle to you. Hell, just the way we fucked was off the charts. Sure, I wasn’t going to approach you again after the fucked-up move I made years ago. But fate, destiny, whatever you wanna call it, brought us together. So that’s what we’ll be. Together. I don’t give a fuck that I’m an inmate. I don’t give a fuck whether we’re in here or out there.” He jabbed his finger toward the door. “We will be together.”
Her jaw clenched tighter and tighter as he spoke. By the time he ended, she was scraping her back molars together like the wheels of a grinder. She wrenched her chin out of his hold and seethed, “What in the hell are you going on about? You haven’t seen me in eight years. Simply because, by sheer chance, we happen to see each other again, you’ve taken this to mean we’re meant to be together? That’s plain crazy! My life won’t be dictated by a random event, and I’m certainly not going to have you make a decision on my behalf. I left those impulsive, crazy days behind me when Sasha overdosed. I’m not going back to living like that.”
“I’m sorry about what happened to Sasha.”
She swallowed down the rush of emotions that came up whenever she thought of her best friend and roommate. The trinity of remorse, sadness, and hopelessness crashed into her. Ava cursed herself for the umpteenth time for not having read the signs that her drug use had gotten out of control. The irony of all ironies was that Sasha’s drug dealer, a man by the name of Kingpin, was currently serving time at Duchess County Jail. Puck was housed in the same jail as Sasha’s true killer. Ava had made it her personal mission to follow his trail into criminality and testified against him during his parole hearings on more than one occasion.
Puck continued, “I wanted to go to you. I was at the funeral, y’know.”
Her eyebrows popped up and grazed the edge of her hairline. “I didn’t see you.”
“I made sure you didn’t. You were wrapped up in your grief, and I took cover in the woods on the edge of the cemetery. You weren’t exactly expecting me.”
He’d come that close to her and still stayed away? What the fuck? “Why didn’t you show yourself?”
“The day wasn’t about me; it was about Sasha, and I didn’t want to add to your pain. As much as I wanted to wrap my arms around you and hug you tight, I’d lost that right, and I wasn’t about to make your life any harder than it already was. I stayed till the last car left. Afterward, I visited her myself and told her my goodbyes. Had a bucket full of apologies to hand out to her.”
She imagined him at Sasha’s grave, praying out his sorries. They’d been good buddies, the two of them. Ava’s gaze dropped, and suddenly there were tears. Dammit, she didn’t do tears anymore. Regardless, they were there, salty and running down into her mouth. She wiped them away roughly with the back of her hands, but her vision remained blurry. She was furious for breaking and prayed he didn’t reach for her. She wouldn’t have the strength to push him away.
Thankfully, he didn’t. A bunch of tissues were thrust under her nose, and she attacked them with desperation. Grabbed them and buried her face in them. She swerved around in her chair, giving him her profile. After sobbing quietly for a few minutes, she pressed her fingertips into her eye sockets. Her shoulders shuddered as she struggled to regain control.
“I’m so sorry, baby girl. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to hold you. I’m sorry it happened. She was a funny, sweet girl. A good girl. Like you.”
She sniffled. “I haven’t spoken about her in a long time. None of my friends knew her. I broke off with that crowd after she ODed. Went back home to my mom with my tail between my legs. Even took money from my father to go to rehab and get clean. You can imagine how much pride I had to swallow to do that.”
Unexpectedly, he came behind her desk and dropped to his haunches. Facing her, he caressed her hair soothingly. “And you did good. You did real good. You fought those demons and made something out of yourself. I knew how good you could be, and you went beyond my hopes and dreams for you, girl. I regret how things ended between us. I was in a fucked-up state of mind after my mother died in that car crash. Out of my mind in grief. I reacted on impulse, and by the time I looked back and realized my mistake, it was too late. The damage had been done.”
His hand felt so good, gently smoothing down her hair. He wrapped his hand around the nape of her neck, pulled her into his chest, and kissed the top of her head. She leaned into the hard warmth of his chest, the spicy male scent of him enveloping her. Like patchouli and cedar ground together with a mortar and pestle. Her eyelids grew heavy. She let them fall and breathed in his masculine fragrance deeply, letting it soothe her.
A low growl rumbled in his chest, shuddering through her core. Suddenly, he was back on his feet, stepping back to take the seat
across from her. Her eyes fluttered open. What had she just done, leaning into him? God, how could she forget how dangerous he was to her? Like a hypnotist, he held the power to lure her in and sweep away her inhibitions. He was as dangerously addictive as drugs, and she’d do well to remember how drugs ended Sasha’s life.
Wiping her nose with the Kleenex, she threw it in the wastepaper basket beside her desk. Her eyes rose to his and held on. Crisply, she said, “What do you really want from me, Puck?”
“I told you what I want. My decision isn’t based on the fact that I’m stuck in this hellhole. It’s not desperation, or whatever other wack-ass reason you’re coming up with. That’s not how I roll. I want us to be together again.”
Her hands trembled, and she crammed them beneath her thighs to stop from shaking. Casting her head down, she said, “I think solitary confinement has gotten to your head. You’re used to club women. Look at me,” she plucked at the hem of her oversized turtleneck sweater.
“You’re hot as ever—”
Her head snapped up. “I’m not fishing for compliments.”
“Didn’t say you were. Just telling it like it is.” He tilted his head to the side, looking at her as if he could see beneath the layers of bulky clothing. “I know exactly what you look like, and I can’t wait to lick every fucking inch of you. You’ve matured, and I already know you’ll taste better than before. Better than I remember. Better than I imagined while I was in the hole. And, woman, let me tell you, I have a damn good imagination.”
“You can’t know that,” she muttered, even though his honeyed words rolled over her, melting her against her will.
Rolling her eyes up to the ceiling, she said, “Puck—”
Suddenly, a thought popped into her head. Once there, it rapidly morphed into a germ of an idea. Her gaze snapped to his. “Speaking of Sasha, have you seen Kingpin out there?”
Sasha’s former dealer.
Puck’s jaw clenched hard, muscle pulsing against his jawline. “Yeah, it’s like a reunion from hell up in here.”
She inhaled deeply and then blurted out, “He’s the one who gave Sasha her last screwball. There’s no way to prove it, but I think he cut it with fentanyl. Can you imagine what adding fentanyl to heroin and meth does? It kills, that’s what it does. It killed her, but nothing could be traced back to him. He’s been arrested on a charge of possession with intent to sell more often than I can count. I’ve even testified against him at his recent parole hearing because I’m positive he’s still using.”
“You work with him?”
“Yes. Can you imagine?”
“Isn’t that a conflict of interest?”
Ava pursed her lips in frustration. “Why, yes, Puck, how very observant of you. Although it doesn’t seem to concern you when it comes to the two of us. I’ve grown up in this town. I’m bound to meet people I know, but I’m also the only social worker on the payroll. How I feel about him doesn’t impact my ability to help him get clean, if that’s something he wants to do. It was years ago when he last saw me, and I never bought from him. Although I may have partied hard, I wasn’t that far gone. Not the way Sasha was toward the end. He hasn’t said or done anything that suggests he recognizes me.”
She clenched her hands into fists and shook them. “He comes in and out, in and out of here like it’s no skin off his back. They always catch him on something, but never anything that will put him away for good, like…oh…say manslaughter. He gave Sasha her last hit, so he’s directly responsible for her death. Soon, I’m certain he’ll be free again, peddling drugs to teenagers and doing God only knows what. It’s frustrating as hell.”
Puck’s eyes sharpened. Leaning back, he eyed her carefully as he asked, “How badly do you want to get him?”
“Bad,” she breathed out. “So bad, Puck. You can’t imagine.”
“What are you willing to do for it?”
Her head jerked back. Eyes narrowed, she asked suspiciously, “What are you suggesting?”
His gaze locked on her. The intent she saw there sent a shiver down her spine.
“I can find out more. For you.” He paused for a beat. “For a price.”
She stabbed her forefinger at him. “I knew it. You want to use me, but I don’t have the power to get you out of here.”
“Christ, woman, the price is access to you. To touching you. Kissing you.” The pitch of his voice dropped. “Licking you.”
Her blood slowed to the speed of molten lava then sped up as if she’d taken a hit of meth. “What?” She clenched the sides of her head. This guy was going to drive her crazy. He was stubborn to the point of madness.
“Ava, listen to me. We’re both here. Sure, I could wait till I’m out to pursue you, but I don’t want to wait. I want you to take me on as a client and have individual meetings with me. While I’m with you, I’ll be free to do what I want to do to you.”
“What in the—”
“Annnd,” he talked over her, “in exchange, I’ll get close to Kingpin and find out what I can about his activities, in and out of jail.”
“H-have you lost your mind?” she sputtered out. “I don’t know what you want from me, but you can’t possibly think I’d fall for you again. Not now. Not ever. Not you.” Her voice trembled slightly as she hissed out, “I fell for you once, and it crushed me. What kind of fool do you think I am that I’d ever open myself up to you again?”
She let out a sigh of exasperation and staring him in the eye, declared, “You’re a flake, Puck.”
Chapter Seven
“A flake?” Puck reared back at the insult. “I’ve never been a flake in my life. I stepped up and took care of Sammi. I’m a loyal member to my club. Hell, I just came out of the hole for weighing in on a fight to protect a brother.”
What in the ever-loving fuck was she talking about? He was one of the most stable men he knew. From a young age, too.
“Yeah, but you flaked out on me,” she shot back in a bitter tone. Her hands grasped the edge of her desk like she was holding herself back from lunging over the desk and throttling him. “How do you explain that? Was it that you weren’t in love with me?”
“You know that’s not true.”
“I know nothing of the kind. If you loved me and you’re not a flake, then how do you explain what you did to me? To us?”
Christ, what a mess. He wouldn’t have broken up with her so abruptly had he been able to read the future and find himself in the shithole he was squatting in now. At nineteen, he’d had much less finesse. Okay, maybe finesse wasn’t the right word to describe him on a good day, even now. He came in more like a wrecking ball, that much was true. Fuck his life, but the past was the past. No use in wishing it were any different.
One thing he’d learned is to fight for what he wanted. If he backed down any time a barrier was thrown in his path, he’d never have risen to become sergeant at arms of the Demon Squad MC. Being sergeant at arms was no walk in the park; his club wasn’t for pussies.
“I wasn’t a flake,” he replied patiently. “I was young, confused, and trying my best to deal with a difficult situation.”
Ava rubbed the center of her forehead. “Fine, you’re right. Whatever. It’s in the past. I don’t even know why I brought it up. Let’s get to the more relevant topic. Kingpin.” She lifted her eyes to his and pinned him in place. “What do you know? There’s always rumors flying around in this place. That’s part of life when you have five hundred men behind bars. What have you heard?”
This was a quick change in subject. In the wrong direction. She seemed to dismiss his side of their little bargain, but he’d play it her way. For now. After all, he was confident in the array of ways and means he had at his disposal.
Inhaling slowly to calm his temper, he took his time replying. “Haven’t heard anything. Haven’t been around long enough ’cause I got into that fight the day after I arrived, but now that I’m back, I’ll mix with the others. I’ve already proven myself, and I’m a biker. That m
eans something in a place like this,” he concluded with a shrug.
He noticed her fingers had loosened their grip on the desk, and she was nodding encouragingly. Her eyes left his face, flittered around the room, and then returned. She swallowed. “This could be dangerous.”
He smirked. “You worried about me, all of a sudden?”
Flames ignited in her eyes. “Yes, I’m worried, you asshole. I’d be worried for anyone. It’s not personal.”
Oh, yeah? He’d make sure it got personal real soon. “Babe.” He leaned forward, and her lips pursed together in disapproval. His gaze wandered over her face, dropped to those lips pressed in a thin line, then farther down to her tits. He couldn’t see much, but his memory filled in the blanks. His eyes slowly dragged back up to meet hers.
Taking her chin, he tipped it up and asked, “Did you conveniently forget what I said about helping you out? You think I’d do this for free? Fuck, no.”
She pulled her chin away and mocked, “Oh, I heard. I chose to ignore it because your proposal’s ridiculous. You can’t be serious.”
“Dead. Fucking. Serious.” He dropped his voice, low and stern.
She raised her hands in supplication. “Puck, come on. Really? You can’t want me. You broke up with me. There’s no point in resurrecting the past.”
“We’re not resurrecting shit. I’m looking toward the future, and that future includes you. I’ve always wanted you, Ava. That’s never changed. You might have gotten away from me if we hadn’t crossed paths, but we did, and that changed everything. This is how it’s gonna be.” He reached over and took her chin again. Any excuse to touch her, he’d take. “Believe it. This is happening. We are happening.”
Her jaw dropped open a little, and he felt her warm, moist breath whisk over his fingers. Her lips were wet and kissable. The tip of her tongue peeked out of the corner of her mouth, and he bit back a moan.
She shook her head and then pulled away. Again. That shit had to stop, but he couldn’t deny enjoying the thrill of the chase. He hadn’t chased anyone before, not even her. They’d fallen into bed together the first night they met.
Puck's Property: A Bad Boy Biker Romance (The Demon Squad MC Book 5) Page 4
