He released a chuckle, partly from pleasure, partly from embarrassment. “Ja. Well, never have I called a woman my friend—other than my Elsa, of course. But I think it is good, too.”
“Would you like another cup of coffee?” She removed her hand from his.
“Ja. Coffee would be good.”
Is peaceful ending for a pleasureful day, Peter thought as he and the woman sipped coffee at the table together. The woman had been right—their marriage could solve problems. It would mean security for her, and it would make the boy happy, for sure. But God-ordained marriage was what they both wanted. It was good to agree on that. He would pray for Thomas’s acceptance.
Thomas pulled the covers over his head.
“Sie stoppen sich zu verstecken.” Pa’s voice sounded stern.
Thomas obeyed his pa’s order, emerging from his hiding place by lowering the blankets until his eyes were uncovered. His pa’s hand moved toward his face. He didn’t flinch when Pa took hold of the blankets—Pa never hit him—but he cringed when his pa pulled the covers down far enough so his chin showed. He felt better when he was all covered up.
“I know how you feel about the woman.” Pa put his hand on Thomas’s chest. “But is important for you to know how I feel, too. We talked, Summer and me, and we agree on this. We care for each other as very good friends, but it would be wrong to marry without love.”
Thomas blinked as fast as he could. He didn’t want to cry in front of his father. “But, Pa, I know Summer likes you. She likes you a lot. And you like her, too.”
“Ja, of course we like each other. I said we are good friends. But like and love are two very different things, boy.”
Thomas felt his chin begin to quiver. He clamped his teeth together as hard as he could to make it stop.
“When you are grown up, you will understand better that some things cannot be forced. Love is one of them. Love must grow on its own, planted in gentleness and watered with God’s hand.” Pa patted Thomas’s chest. “You feel love growing here for the woman. There is nothing wrong with that. It is good to find love in your heart. Love makes the heart softer, makes you think more of others, makes you want to do good instead of evil. Be thankful love is there, son. Let it be enough that you love her.”
The tears Thomas had tried so hard to hold back spilled from his eyes. Embarrassed, he turned his face away from his father. He sucked in air, but one sob came out anyway. “I don’t want to talk anymore.”
He closed his eyes as tight as he could and felt his father’s hand slide away. The bed creaked as his pa stood up. Thomas kept his eyes shut and jammed his chin against his shoulder. Pa wouldn’t be hearing any more baby noises!
The door clicked shut, and Thomas opened one eye to peek. The room was empty. He threw back the covers and lunged forward, bringing up his knees to bury his face against them. Why couldn’t they love each other? It wasn’t hard to love. He loved Summer, and it was easy. She loved him, too. He knew she did. If she could love him, why couldn’t she love his pa? It didn’t make sense!
He cried against his knees, making no noise but getting his nightshirt soggy with tears. The crying made his head hurt. He needed to stop. He raised his head, sniffing hard until he felt under control. After rubbing his eyes, he looked around.
The room was shadowed, but he could see the shapes of the gifts Summer had given him, lined up on his bureau. He thrust out his chin. Well, if she wasn’t going to be his ma, he sure wasn’t going to leave those things up there like a row of trophies.
He kicked the covers down and climbed out of his bed. Barefoot, he marched across the drafty floor and scooped everything into his arms. The dictionary dug into his ribs, and he winced as he carried the load back to the bed, knelt, and shoved it all underneath.
“There,” he murmured through gritted teeth, “that’s better. Won’t have to look at that stuff.” He threw himself back into the bed and yanked the covers up. But after a while he realized having those presents under the bed didn’t make him feel better. In fact, it made him feel worse, knowing how roughly he had treated them.
What had Pa said? Loving people makes you want to do good instead of evil. He sighed. Well, then, he must love Summer something fierce, because it made him feel awful to have treated her presents like that. He swung out of the bed and got down on his hands and knees beside it, reaching under the bed to retrieve every item.
He put the gifts back on the bureau top, placing them all just so. He remembered how he’d felt when he’d opened the games, thinking about evenings when he and Summer would play and laugh like they had with that silly checkers game. It felt like he had a ma when she played with him. He wanted that. He wanted a ma so bad. Sadness pressed at him now instead of anger, and it was harder to hold in.
Thomas shivered. Whenever he felt sad, his pa had taught him, you should talk to God and let Him share it. The way he figured it, God had already taken one ma away from him. It wouldn’t be fair if He took this one, too. He would just have to let God know that.
Summer stood on the stoop and watched Daisy trot down the road toward school with Thomas bouncing on her broad back. She felt a pang at the boy’s departure. The past couple of weeks since Christmas had been strained between them. She had sensed his pulling away, as if separating himself emotionally from her before he had to be separated physically. She understood, and she tried to treat him no differently so he would see her feelings toward him hadn’t changed, yet she knew things were changing.
Thomas’s ribs were completely healed. There would be no more long days together, teaching him and learning from him. No longer did she have an excuse to reside beneath Peter’s roof. But Peter had insisted she stay until her house was built. Even though it was too cold to begin construction yet, she had made the first move toward building the house: she had gone to town the past Saturday to pay for her land.
Her land. What a wonderful feeling that thought evoked! Her own place, a place no one could take away from her or talk her into leaving. Even if it meant being away from Thomas, she eagerly anticipated having her very own house.
“Summer, the boy is gone. Will you stand there looking until home he rides?”
Peter’s voice from the kitchen brought a stop to her musings. She turned, a sheepish smile tugging at her cheeks. “Of course not. I was just—”
“Thinking.” He sent her a broad grin. “Always you are thinking. What is it now that makes your forehead wrinkle like a sand plum left in the sun?”
Summer laughed as she closed the door, sealing out the cold. The things this man said! But she enjoyed their easy camaraderie. She would miss that as much as the boy when she moved into her own house. She began clearing dishes as she answered him. “I was thinking of my house and how soon it could be built. I have big plans for it. A porch, and a flower garden, and a picket fence …”
“Picket?” Peter’s forehead now crinkled like a plum left in the sun. “What is picket?”
“You know—a fence made of narrow boards set with space between them. A decorative fence rather than a practical one.”
He nodded, his expression clearing. “Ja, I think I know. There is one around Frau Schmidt’s flower garden. So high”—he gestured—“and painted white, standing like a row of snaggled teeth.”
Again, her laughter bubbled. “Well, I’d prefer my fence didn’t resemble snaggled teeth, but you have the height and color right.” She ladled water from the reservoir to wash dishes. “When do you suppose construction can begin?”
Peter carried his coffee mug to the dry sink and leaned against the wall, facing her. Many of their conversations took place over the washing of dishes, Summer realized. She heard a light chuckle, and she turned to see Lena in her bedroom doorway, smiling at the two of them. Heat filled her face as she realized what a homey picture they must paint, standing together this way. The heat seemed to extend to her chest, and she swallowed hard in an attempt to calm her suddenly jangled nerves.
“Late February a
t earliest, for sure, on the building,” he answered as Lena padded forward and poured herself a cup of coffee. The old woman stayed beside them as Peter continued. “But there is much to do before building can begin. Rock must be collected for the foundation. Lumber and glass panes must be ordered. We must to dig a well for you. A cellar must be dug in case of bad storms and also for storing of vegetables. Land must be cleared for the garden. And, of course, those little boards must be cut for your snaggle-tooth fence.” He grinned.
“Picket fence.” Her discomfort faded away. It was so easy to respond to his playfulness.
“Will you have animals? Chickens? Pigs? A horse? This must be planned for, too.” He downed the last drop of his coffee and dropped the mug into the dishpan.
Summer sighed. “There is much to think about. I suppose it’s good I still have a few weeks to sort everything out. I hope my money will stretch far enough to cover everything. I still have no job.”
“If it is God’s will, a job will come,” he said. “Think of all things that have worked out so far. You bought the land without problems from the Gaeddert brothers. The council considers your acceptance into church membership. Some women from town choose to be your friend.”
Summer smiled as she remembered times of coffee and cinnamon cake with Katherine Kraft, Bertha Klein, or Martha Jost. Most of the women still kept their distance, but now that Summer understood their reason for holding themselves aloof, she had confidence they would eventually come to accept her. Long-held hurts took time to heal.
“Yes, God has been good to me,” she agreed. “So I’ll trust Him in the acquiring of a job.” She carefully stacked two plates, her thoughts on the months ahead and all the changes in store. “I’m so glad you bought Thomas that bicycle. He should be able to visit me regularly.”
“You will miss the boy.”
“Yes.” Her throat caught on the single-word answer.
Peter pushed off from the wall. “You need distraction today. When the dishes are done, you put on your coat. I will take you to visit Frau Kraft. She cannot get out much now with the burden of the baby she carries, but she will welcome your company.”
Summer immediately perked up with this idea. “Are you sure it wouldn’t be an inconvenience?”
“Her boy, too, is gone now after a long break from school. She will be looking for a distraction, for sure.”
Summer liked the way he’d said “her boy, too,” as if Summer had a right to claim Thomas as a little bit her own. “Thank you. I’ll be ready in less than half an hour.”
“I will be in barn. Come out when ready you are.”
28
PETER’S HEART HAD lifted when Katherine welcomed Summer with a warm hug and invited her to stay for tea. Summer bid him farewell, and he rolled on toward town, his mind on the morning’s conversation with the woman.
She wanted a house, but he suspected she had little knowledge of how a house was built. Left to herself, it would be a sorry house, ill planned. But he knew how to build, and planning he could do for her.
First he would stop at the sawmill and get prices for lumber. While there, he would also ask Lundy Wismer about rock for the foundation and about digging a cellar. The man was handy when it came to such things. At the General Merchandise he would find out how much windows were priced these days—prices went up all the time. The woman would need to follow a tight budget.
At Nickels’ he would ask to borrow the Montgomery Ward and Company catalog for a few days so the woman could look at furniture. All she had was a chair and a handmade rope bed. She would need much to fill even a small house. Also he could ask about jobs.
Maybe the hotel could use her to do cleaning or dishwashing. There must be something a woman could do to support herself. He did not think it was wise to begin building the house until she had a job, but he would not tell her what to do. He would only pray for her wisdom, which he did even while he drove to town.
The sound of the steam-powered sawmill engine filled his ears before he made the final curve into town. Good that even in the winter, Herr Wismer could continue to cut lumber. Peter had to save carefully through the months to make sure his and the boy’s needs were met all year. The bicycle had been an extravagance, but Peter did not regret it. Giving the boy delight now and then would not spoil him.
He ordered the oxen to halt outside the sawmill, hopped down, and entered the noisy building. Two men worked at the saw, guiding logs through the great teeth and turning them into boards. Peter thrilled to the vibration of the saw and the pungent smell of freshcut wood.
Herr Wismer gestured for Peter to come into the small office at the front of the mill. It was slightly quieter there. Peter had to yell to make himself heard, but he left assured the mill could provide the woman with what she needed to build her house. Herr Wismer promised to loan Peter some floor plans from which the woman could choose. He also said he would make a list of the needed lumber and its cost when she’d chosen a plan. The men shook hands, and Peter started to leave.
Then he remembered something else and turned back. After a brief consultation, Peter left with a smile on his face. He did enjoy giving other people surprises.
He left the oxen nosing the ground in front of the sawmill and walked to Nickels’, where Nick agreed to let him take the catalog with the assurance it would come back with no missing pages.
“Why would I tear out pages? In the house I will use it, not the outhouse,” Peter teased.
Nick shook his head. “Some customers tear out the pages so they remember what they want to order. What use is a catalog with missing pages? I trust you to bring it back whole, Peter.”
Peter tucked the catalog into the large pocket inside his jacket and moved on to the General Merchandise. As he had feared, windowpanes would be pricey.
“It is the railroad, Peter. I have to raise my prices to allow for the shipping.” Herr Brunk sounded apologetic. “The more fragile the good, the higher the price to ship it.”
“I understand,” Peter answered. “But I know the woman has limited means.”
“Then tell her to get the smallest panes and put them together to make a bigger window,” the man encouraged. “Four little panes together make a good bedroom window. Three little panes over three more make a good parlor window. Of course, there will be sashes between the panes, but they should not block too much of a view.”
“This is good to know. I will tell her.” Peter wished he had brought some paper to write on.
“Why is the woman building a house?” Herr Brunk asked. Peter smiled. “I cannot stay forever in my barn.”
“I did not expect you to.” The man pulled his lips sideways and bit down on his mustache. “My frau tells me marriage is probable between you.”
Heat built in Peter’s neck. He forced a smile. “Your frau tells you wrongly.”
“Ach. Women!” Brunk waved his hand. “Always they have marriage on their minds. She meant nothing, I am sure.”
“I am sure,” Peter answered. “Thank you for helping with the windows. I will be back after the woman has picked her house design.”
Peter left the General Merchandise and headed for his wagon. Although he had intended to check into jobs for the woman, the hour was growing late and Thomas would be out of school soon. He did not want to miss the boy’s arrival on his first day back. He would hurry and pick up Summer from the Kraft farm, then together they would greet the boy.
Thomas pulled back on Daisy’s reins to slow her from a canter to a walk as he came upon the lane that led to his house. Would Summer still be there when he came home? Ever since Christmas, when Pa had said he didn’t love Summer, Thomas had worried. If he was back in school, Summer might go away. He didn’t want her to go away. She needed to be with him so Pa could grow to love her and she could grow to love Pa.
A funny weight sat in his tummy. It had been there all day. At first it was a little rock, nervousness about being back in school after his long time away. But over the day it
had gotten bigger with Rupert’s teasing, some of the other boys’ questions, and Belinda Schmidt’s snooty faces. Those Schmidt women could make a snooty face better than anybody. Belinda had never turned it on him before, but today she had picked him out and made it hard for him to focus on the first ten amendments to the Constitution.
Only Toby Kraft had stood beside him. At recess Toby had told Rupert to quit his jokes about Summer unless he wanted to never play with Toby’s erector set again. That had made Rupert and all the other boys shut up. Everybody liked to play with Toby’s erector set, which was the only one in town. Toby was his new best friend, Thomas decided. Toby had kept the rock from turning into a boulder. But Thomas’s stomach still didn’t feel right.
How come God had let him grow to love Summer if she wasn’t going to be his ma? All his life, he’d been taught God gave good gifts, God knew what was best, God answered prayers. But now Thomas wasn’t sure. That feeling scared him even more than the rock in his belly.
The house came into view.
“Whoa, Daisy.” Thomas brought the animal to a halt. He shielded his eyes with his hand and waited, watching. Was she there?
The door opened and Pa stepped onto the stoop. Even from here, Thomas could see Pa’s smile. Like everything else on him, Pa’s smile was big. Thomas waved when his pa waved, but he couldn’t smile back. Not yet. Where was she?
And then a shadow appeared behind Pa. The shadow moved beside Pa, and Thomas saw that it was Summer in her black dress. The smile he’d held in burst over his face. She hadn’t left him. Not yet. There was still a chance….
“C’mon, Daisy!” He dug in his heels and Daisy obeyed, carrying him briskly the final yards to the house.
“Well, boy,” his pa greeted, his big hands rolled into fists on his hips. “A good day did you have at school?”
Thomas decided it wasn’t important anymore what everyone had said and done. All that mattered was Summer was still here. “It was a good day.”
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