Neither Oddie nor Mad seemed to hear her and maybe that was for the better.
Chapter 21
THORIN
The pain had subsided enough that the witch disc now embedded in his sternum was more of an annoying, distant ache, like a bruise that had started to heal.
But while he felt better, Thorin wasn’t ready yet to face Lola or the girls. He was still flush with shame, the disc a physical reminder that he was a danger and completely out of control.
He needed to run.
When he’d said as much to Red and his brothers, Red had demanded he take one of them with him. Dae was the first to volunteer, since Red wouldn’t be able to keep up with Thorin now, and Poe was never the sort to run unless his life was in jeopardy.
Now Thorin and Dae were running at full speed along the Rine River on the back end of the Blackwell estate. Usually Thorin ran in a t-shirt and shorts, but the shirt had rubbed against the witch disc and sent a new flash of pain through his skin. So he’d abandoned it at the trail head and decided the wind on his skin was much better anyway. It cooled some of the burn that was always present beneath the disc’s spindly embedded arms.
“I’m sorry you have to wear that thing,” Dae said. He’d forgone the t-shirt entirely and wore black jogging pants and sunglasses that were equally as dark.
“It’s my cross to bear, is it not?” Thorin said, his breathing even despite the excessive speed. At this pace, he could outrun a deer if he wanted to. Thankfully the path was clear of most obstacles. He walked the trail every week to make sure of it.
“Still,” Dae said, “it must be unpleasant.”
“You have no idea.”
“We’ll take it off once the Northman situation is neutralized and we’re sure of your even temper.”
“And how long will that be?”
“Entirely up to you, brother.”
They left the river behind at a steeper part of the bank and raced through the woods, the trees whipping by in a blur of green.
“But if I’m being honest,” Dae said, “seeing you nearly tear Adonis Northman apart gave me a great amount of pleasure.”
Thorin couldn’t stop the spread of the smile on his face. He didn’t want to like what he’d done. But the fucking Northman djinn had deserved it and so much more after the vile things he’d said about Lola.
Adonis’s words echoed in Thorin’s head and his anger flared again. The disc responded immediately with a quick surge of electric heat. It was like Thorin was being poked with a cattle prod.
He stopped running and bent over.
Dae slowed and doubled back. “You all right?”
“Just…gotta…breathe…through it.”
Dae gave him silence for a spell.
The squirrels in the trees above scurried from one branch to the other, chasing each other for whatever prize they’d unearthed.
“Do you remember how angry Father used to get when our house manager in the Black Forest house made squirrel stew?”
Thorin stood upright and raked his hair back. “No. Father was rarely around when I was.” The man had always had some kind of aversion to Thorin. Or at least that’s how Thorin took it.
Dae frowned. “But what about when we all lived at the castle in Cornwall?”
The pain subsided. Thorin rolled his shoulders. “Red sent me away that year. To the monastery in northern England.” Just another failed attempt to regain control over his anger. That was before the incident. Back when they’d all falsely believed there’d been a way to temper it.
Dae shook his head. “It’s a strange thing, memory and time. How you can remember a thing one way and realize it was another. I thought you were there with us.”
“Can you come up with any memory of all of us together?” Thorin challenged. “I suspect you can’t.”
Thorin took off running again. Dae quickly caught up to him.
“What about the year we oversaw the building of the Scotland cottage?”
“Red had me sourcing timber.”
“What about the years we lived at the French court? Underneath Charles VII?”
“I was in Florence with da Vinci.”
“Well, bloody hell.” Dae stopped when they reached the footbridge at a narrower part of the Rine. Here the river was rockier and the water churned over the obstacles with fervor.
“Whose idea was it for you to go to Florence?” Dae asked. He had that look in his eye—the cool, sharp intelligence that Thorin knew well. Dae had spotted something in the patterns and now he would exploit it, prize it of its secrets.
“I wanted to study with da Vinci,” Thorin said. “But…” He looked past his brother to the river’s churning waters. While he’d wanted to go to Florence, it had been Red that finally made it happen. Red knew everyone in the Italian Renaissance and those in power knew of djinn. They weren’t going to be tricked into making a deal with a Blackwell. Any sort of bartering was done aboveboard.
“Have you ever thought it odd then?” Dae asked.
“You’re poking at nothing.” Thorin stepped around Dae and made a zigzag down the river’s bank. He crouched at the water’s edge. “Red was only getting me out of the house because Father could never stand to look at me.”
As soon as the words were out, he regretted giving them voice.
This was something he’d harbored since he was old enough to know his father was missing from his life.
It was the lightning rod in his childhood past.
The thing that gave his shame breath.
His entire life he’d been fighting to be good enough. Good enough for his father. Good enough for Red. Good enough to fit in with his brothers. And he’d always come up short.
When Rose came into his life, for the first time ever, he felt different. He felt like maybe with Rose, and even some of her brothers, he was good enough. The things he hated about himself—the temper, the rage—Rose and her brothers revered.
Now he knew better, of course. The Northman djinn were incapable of love. They were only interested in what someone could give them, and when it came to Thorin, his volatility gave them power.
Thorin cupped his hands, scooped up some of the river’s water, and splashed his face. The chill of it caused a jolt to run through him. Damn, did it feel good. He splashed through the water again and ran it back through his hair. Water droplets dripped from his nose.
When he straightened on the bank and looked up at Dae at the top, his brother still had that look on his face like he was piecing together a mental puzzle.
“Stop,” Thorin said and made his way back up.
“Stop what?”
“Stop trying to make sense of it.”
“But don’t you feel it?” Dae pinned him with a look, a glittering intensity in his eyes. “There is something more to this. I can feel it.”
“All I feel is tired and hungry.” He started back down the path.
“You must stop doing that,” Dae said and followed behind.
“Doing what?”
“Burying your head in the sand.”
“Excuse me?”
“You have always been the type to focus on other people’s problems to avoid the difficulty of facing your own.”
Thorin’s anger bristled. He leveled his shoulders and swiveled around. “I do no such—”
The disc activated again and had him on his knees in a breath.
“Fucking—” He gritted his teeth. Fucking hell!
The pain radiated out across his torso. He couldn’t settle into it or power through it. He felt like he was wearing a sweater made of needles.
“Breathe,” Dae said.
“I am fucking breathing!”
Another shot of pain.
The witch magic filled his nose.
Fucking witches.
Fucking Red! Fuck all of them. Why had he agreed to this?
Fuck. Fuck.
His hands curled, fingers like claws. The earth parted for him and the freshly scored dirt
swept away the scent of witch magic. Dae remained still and silent so Thorin was able to focus instead on the white noise of the river’s water. The relentless churn and rush of it.
Breathe.
He was breathing.
In and out.
The disc settled and the witch magic dissipated.
Thorin filled his lungs with fresh air and climbed back to his feet, chest heaving.
“I am breathing,” he said to his brother.
“I know,” Dae said, but he was far away now, lost in thought. “Shall we head back?”
“Yes.”
It already felt like Thorin had been away from the house too long. Away from Lola. He was at odds with himself—he both wanted to see her and keep his distance at the same time. He was no more in control of himself than he was a week ago. He realized that now. The control he’d thought he’d mustered was a false sense of security. He’d just walled himself up and minimized the triggers. All it took was one little incident and all of the bricks had come tumbling down.
He needed to be cured of this. That was the only way he could have a life.
But how could there be a cure when it was the way he was?
Red was cold and distant.
Poe arrogant and cocky.
Dae clever and wise.
Mad strong and reliant.
And Thorin…he was unbridled and unhinged.
A man couldn’t change who he was anymore than he could change his fate.
But Thorin was never going to stop trying to be better. If not for himself, then for those he loved.
Chapter 22
LOLA
After an extremely long, extremely hot, extremely amazing bath, Lola wound her hair up into a messy bun and slipped into a pair of black shorts and an oversized white t-shirt she’d managed to stuff into her bag before leaving her loft.
She’d forgotten her usual toiletries. No makeup, no moisturizer. At least she was clean. And anyway, Thorin had already seen her face naked on more than one occasion. When people asked her how she achieved that blemish-free, glowing skin tone they were always disappointed to hear her answer was as simple as not wearing makeup.
After leaving her bedroom in Blackwell House, she followed the sound of distant voices. She found a back staircase that was much darker and narrower than the massive curving staircase in the front of the house. The back stairwell opened to a small annex on the other side of the kitchen.
Ashley, Willa, and Oddie were all there prepping food for dinner. They’d decided to go with the southwestern chicken that Lola was now Level Expert at making. She’d written down the marinade recipe for Oddie earlier and now Oddie was at the island filling a food processor with fresh cilantro, garlic, olive oil and a little bit of lime juice.
“This is going to be fun,” Ashley marveled. “We’re never all here together for a dinner in the formal dining room.”
“I’ve never had the pleasure of having a meal on good china ,” Willa said. “Or any china for that matter.”
Willa and Ashley sat on stools on the other side of the island sharing a bag of trail mix.
“Hey,” Ashley said when she saw Lola. “You feeling any better?”
“Much. The hangover has finally gone away, so yay.”
“Well that’s great news.” Ashley held up a bottle of white rum. “Because we raided the liquor cabinet. Willa makes the very best mojito.”
Lola scrunched up her nose. “I don’t think I can go down that road again today. Or ever.”
Oddie clicked the lid onto the food processor. “Don’t let the caelis talk you into drinking with them. They can both drink us under the table ten times over.”
“You’re speaking from experience, I take it?”
With a flick of the switch, the processor churned to life. “Yes. Biggest mistake I ever made!”
“We didn’t realize!” Willa yelled over the motor. “We thought it was just weak liquor. We kept pouring drinks and Ash and I barely felt a thing and then all of a sudden Oddie was on the floor.”
“Literally!” Oddie said.
They all laughed at the memory.
When Oddie turned off the food processor, Lola said, “I’m kinda jealous I missed that girls’ night.”
“Don’t be. I was a mess. And I don’t like representing myself in such a way.”
“She was an adorable drunk,” Willa said. “Don’t let her tell you tales.”
Oddie rolled her eyes and poured the marinade into a plastic bag. “Let’s change the subject. How long do I marinate the chicken?”
“A half hour usually works for me. It doesn’t have to be long.”
“Great. While the chicken sits, I’ll work on the refried beans.”
Ashley crunched into a peanut. “And I’ll cut the veggies for a side salad.”
“No. I insist you leave me to it,” Oddie said.
“Are we really going to have this round and round argument every day for the rest of our lives?” Ashley said, which took Lola aback. When she was married and stuck in suburbia, Ashley had never challenged anyone or anything. She was always go-with-the-flow, don’t ruffle feathers.
Dae had changed her for the better.
No. Actually, Ashley had changed on her own for the better. Dae was just a nice little bonus.
Poe sauntered into the kitchen. “Hello, ladies.”
This time Lola was more prepared for the mist she was now attributing to djinn. Poe had a slight red haze around him with a bit of glittery blue around his head.
He went to Willa first and kissed her cheek, then Ashley’s next. He kept his distance from Oddie. Oddie curled her nose at him.
“Hello, Lo,” he said ignoring the house manager. “You smell like those expensive bath salts Oddie makes me fetch every month from Paris.”
By ‘imported’ Oddie had meant ‘transported by the magic of djinn’? Lola liked this girl more and more.
“It isn’t like you have anything better to do,” Oddie said.
“On the contrary.” Poe nuzzled into Willa’s neck causing her to giggle. “I have many, many important things to do.”
No one was ignorant to that innuendo.
“Stop it,” Willa said and blushed.
“Never.” He wrapped his arms around her and with a pop of air, they were gone.
Lola startled. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to seeing them do that.” Thorin had yet to transmute—vade as they called it—in front of her.
“Poe abuses the power, in my opinion,” Oddie said.
Ashley zeroed in on a candy piece in the bag of trail mix. “So does Dae. But then, if I could fly, I would never use my legs.”
Oddie muttered a begrudged agreement.
“Do you guys know where Thorin is?” Lola asked. “I haven’t seen him since we got here.”
“He went for a run with Dae,” Ashley said. “Should be back soon.”
He hadn’t told her he was leaving.
Not that it should matter, right? It wasn’t like he was accountable to her.
But…then why did it bother her that he hadn’t?
The girls settled into a rhythm after that. Oddie started making refried beans (from scratch!) while Ashley chopped lettuce and Lola chopped onions. They had just filled a giant bowl when Lola finally heard Thorin’s voice in the house.
Her heart leapt to her throat and her stomach filled with obnoxious butterflies.
A moment later, he and Dae walked through the arched doorway between the kitchen and mudroom. The glowy haze around him was dimmer than it had been this morning and pockmarked with red. Sweat coated his face, but his olive green t-shirt was oddly dry, as if he’d just slipped into it.
His hair, damp along the hairline, was wound up in a bun at the back of his head.
Though he was immortal, and Lola knew he ran every day, miles and miles of land, his gait was stiff as if he’d run too far. Dark circles had appeared beneath his eyes.
What had happened in the few hours since th
ey parted?
She tried to catch his gaze but he was obviously dodging her.
“How was your run?” Ashley asked.
The only proof that Dae had been out exercising was his jogging pants. He was shirtless (God bless America) and while his skin glistened, he was not at all sweaty. But his glittery red glow was even brighter.
“The run was uneventful,” Dae said.
Thorin snorted.
There was a noticeable flinch in Dae’s eyes. Ashley caught it too. When she frowned at him, Dae gave a barely perceptible shake of his head. Don’t ask.
So something had happened.
When Thorin left the kitchen, Lola gave him chase and thanked all the gods in the world that he wasn’t invoked and had the power to pop out of there with a snap of his fingers.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
In the narrower hallway that ran between the kitchen and the rest of the house, Thorin seemed to swell in size, dwarfing the space around him. That happened a lot, she was noticing. Wherever Thorin went, he made everything seem smaller by comparison.
“I’m fine,” he answered distantly.
“You don’t seem fine. What did your brothers want to talk to you about?”
He stopped abruptly. They were in the middle of the foyer now and their voices echoed through the large space.
“Lo,” he said, his eyes pinched and his jaw tight, “I’m fine.”
For a split second, she thought she’d leave him to his bad mood. This was exactly the reason she didn’t like getting intimate with men she liked. Not that they had gotten intimate yet, but she was literally living in his house now and she knew all of his family and if that wasn’t some kind of intimacy, then she didn’t know what was.
Lola hated the inevitable conflict that came with that level of familiarity. She couldn’t stand drama or arguing.
But Thorin was different.
And she was different, she realized.
Because despite hating conflict, Lola was not ready to exit left. She wanted to help him. She wanted to be there for him.
They were friends.
“We’re in this together,” she said quietly. “We don’t have to do it alone.”
One Mark: Steamy Friends to Lovers Paranormal Romance (Blackwell Djinn) Page 11
