by D. M. Turner
“Yeah.” Kelly stretched then resettled. “The summer after I turned twenty, I beat him to the punch and hid out for the duration of my heat.” She shot Brett a mischievous grin that nearly stilled his heart. “I know a few ways to trick even a werewolf’s nose.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he teased dryly.
She laughed softly.
Interesting. Despite the unpleasant topic, the longer they talked, the more she relaxed and the quicker her smile came. Confirming one thing. He’d been an idiot to think avoiding her would help her through pre-estrus. He should’ve realized she’d only meant for him to keep a physical distance, not an emotional one.
“The next two summers, he locked me up again and brought two more suitors I had to chase off. When I was twenty-three, things turned ugly.” Her gaze fell to the area rug. “My father found a wolf he was certain could beat me into submission. The guy couldn’t stand up to him, but he was stronger of will and attitude than any of those I’d ever seen my father tolerate in the past. I smelled rage on him before he was even let into the room. I immediately Shifted and let him know I’d defend myself if I had to.”
She fell quiet for a while, her gaze distant and full of sorrow. “He Shifted and came after me. I knew even then that he meant only to subdue me. He was too afraid of my father to kill me outright. By the time it was over, I’d killed him.”
Brett leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and pinned her with a stern look. “It wasn’t your fault. If you’d been given the option to run, you would have. They didn’t give you any choice but to kill him or submit to rape.”
“Yeah, well, my father didn’t see it that way. He had the body yanked out, slammed and locked the door, and said I could stay there until I learned to do as I was told.”
A shiver of apprehension crawled up his spine. “How long were you locked in?”
“Until after Thanksgiving.”
He closed his eyes and lowered his head. Imprisoned by her own father for months because she refused to be raped. It didn’t get much more messed up than that.
“If it hadn’t been for my mother going against orders to sneak me food, I would’ve died of starvation.” She met his gaze without flinching. “My father didn’t tolerate rebellion. When he found out she was sneaking me food, he almost beat her to death. She was pregnant at the time and lost the baby. He hated her for that, too. It was a girl.” She bit her lip, her eyes filling with sorrow. “As horrible as it sounds, I’m glad that baby died. The thought of him hurting her….”
Unable to stop himself, Brett reached for her hand. “Considering all you’d been through with him, I can understand why you wouldn’t want the same for your sister.”
Tears filled her eyes. “Mom killed herself a few days after he finally let me out of my prison. She’d been almost despondent since the baby died. I don’t think she could take any more, and she knew death was the only escape from my father. Even if she’d had somewhere to go, if she left, he’d have gone after her, and he wouldn’t have stopped searching until he found her. She knew that. Hopelessness is a horrible thing.”
“It is.” He scowled and lowered his gaze to the floor, unable to face more tears. His and Ian’s last alpha had been taken by the hopelessness that so often comes with losing a mate. “How did your father respond to your mother’s death?”
“Rage.” The smile that curved her lips was as sad as it was amused. “She’d outsmarted him, and he’d been unable to hold onto something that belonged to him. If she hadn’t died, I think he would’ve made her wish she had.” Kelly wiped a hand across her forehead. “I was afraid he’d be that much more determined to breed me after that, and I wasn’t wrong. I overheard him on the phone one day, talking about me to my sister’s mate. They made arrangements for him to come get the job done. He’s stronger than my father, and just as brutal. The fact my father would invite him into his territory showed just how desperate he was.”
A shudder went through Brett. “It’s a wonder you don’t object to the idea of having children altogether.”
A genuine smile graced her mouth. “No. I just object to the idea of having children with a man I don’t love. I started plotting my escape after Mom died. Got paperwork together, and prepared to make a break for it. I left New York in mid-January in the midst of a bad snowstorm. I figured that’d make it more difficult for them to follow me. They couldn’t track me in what amounted to a blizzard. I worked along the way, waiting tables or whatever else I could find. Eventually, I ended up in Flagstaff.” She met his gaze and shrugged. “You know the rest.”
“I’m glad you found your way here.”
The warm smile that curved her mouth went straight to his heart. Then she yawned. “I need sleep.”
“Go ahead. I’ll come to bed in a bit. I want to finish reading this section.” He picked up the book on the side table.
She nodded, got up, and headed for their room. In passing, she leaned down and kissed the top of his head.
Brett smiled and returned to reading. At least, he tried to.
Lord, I suppose I understand now why You made Kelly so tough. Not only did You make a woman suitable for me when I never expected one. You made her strong enough to survive childhood and early adulthood under the roof of a true psychopath. Thank You for that.
Chapter 2
Sunday, July 3, 2016, 12:14 AM
KELLY had dozed off and on after her chat with Brett. She’d been aware of him coming to bed, though he’d been very quiet about it, and the king size bed had barely shifted as he’d lain down. After his breathing had leveled off, she’d rolled onto her side to watch him in the very faint glow of starlight coming through uncovered windows. There was no moon. The new moon would rise on Monday, which probably exacerbated the restlessness caused by her heat.
She’d never expected to meet someone like Brett, much less be married to him. Since they’d married at the end of the previous October, they hadn’t had deep talks about anything, certainly not her childhood. Finding out she could talk to him about such things… well, she wasn’t sure how to process it. They’d argued more than talked since their mating. He wasn’t a man given to flowery speeches and sentiments, and she wasn’t much of a domestic homemaker. And both of them had tempers.
To torque his tail even more, she hadn’t been much of a student either. Sitting in a classroom day in and day out had proven torturous. He hadn’t been happy when she’d told him in December that she had no intention of finishing school. The fact he’d worked until June had probably saved both of them, as his days out of the house had provided cool-down periods.
She hadn’t expected him to be so supportive and understanding about the fact she’d killed a man, regardless of the reason, though she probably should have. They’d fought two of her father’s wolves, side-by-side, in November. The invaders had died in Kelly and Brett’s teeth, along with their alpha, who Colin had killed for attempting to rape Tanya.
Watching Brett sleep, listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing, Kelly found herself drawn to him a way she hadn’t been before. Sure, they’d had passion in their relationship, but love? She couldn’t say she’d loved him, and she had never made such a claim. Neither had Brett. They hadn’t gotten along well enough to talk and actually develop such an emotional bond. She’d taken him as a mate out of necessity, and because he was the best option the pack had to offer. He’d probably seen her as an interesting challenge, though he’d never said as much.
As Kelly studied him, desire touched her deepest core and slowly spread outward, filling her with warmth. The attraction wasn’t new, but the depth of it was. Was it only because she was in heat, or was there more to it? For the moment, it didn’t matter. She’d figure out the needs and wants of her heart later. Right then, a more driving desire demanded attention.
She slipped out of bed, removed her sleeping clothes and underwear, lifted the covers, and slid across the bed to snuggle against Brett’s side. His breathing changed, and he opene
d his eyes to look at her. He blinked then reached over to turn on the bedside lamp. She winced against the sudden flash of blinding light then found herself staring into alert blue eyes.
“Is something wrong?”
“Nope.” She allowed a coy smile to play across her mouth. Then she kissed his bare chest. “I’d say everything is just about right.”
“Oh, really?”
“Mmhmm.” Kelly met his gaze. “Please note the about in that statement.”
“I did.” Brett grinned. “My brain is still half-asleep and not quite processing at full speed yet. Does this mean the ‘Do not touch’ sign has been removed?”
She caressed from his chest to his navel with the feathery touch of one finger and grinned suggestively. “What do you think?”
She squeaked in surprise when he rolled toward and over her without warning, pinning her to the bed.
He chuckled, his chest and belly vibrating against hers. “Since when does my brave little warrior squeak like a startled mouse?”
She wrinkled her nose at him. “You’ll regret that.”
A brow elevated toward his hairline, and a wide grin appeared. Devilry flashed in blue eyes. “Do your worst.”
Suddenly, being in heat looked so much brighter.
Chapter 3
Monday, October 31, 2016
“YOU look like you’d rather be anywhere but here,” Jeremy noted after he stepped into the exam room and closed the door.
Kelly shrugged. “To be honest, I would.” She shouldn’t have come. She’d put it off for a week since his call, but the need to find out something one way or another had finally spurred her to come in. Better to know, either way. Then she’d know how to deal with it and could stop worrying.
He frowned in concern. “I’m not going to stick you with a needle or do anything else invasive. You know that, right?”
“I know. You said you’re information-gathering. I have no reason to think you’d lie.” She offered a weak grin. “Even if you could.”
He chuckled.
“So… what did the urine test show?”
“Nothing you need to worry about.” He pointed to the exam table. “Hop up there so we can see what the ultrasound shows.”
“It was negative, wasn’t it?” A frisson of fear sliced through her.
The doctor cocked his head and studied her for a moment. “So far, human pregnancy tests have been negative every time. At this point, I suspect they don’t work on wolves. They look for a specific hormone that humans have but canines don’t. It appears we may be like our canine cousins in that regard.” He smiled. “So don’t put stock in what that test says. We’ll know for certain with the ultrasound. No questions on that one.”
Minutes later, lying flat on the table, her belly exposed and slathered in uncomfortably-cold goo, Kelly watched the expressions on Jeremy’s face. His frown tightened more each passing moment. Her heart sank lower and lower.
Finally, he sighed and shook his head, his gaze meeting hers briefly. “I’m sorry.” He handed her a wad of tissues.
“So am I.” Kelly wiped the goo away, handed him the used tissues, and straightened her clothes. She forced a smile. “We knew it was a long-shot that I’d get pregnant right away.” She slid to the floor, grabbed her purse, and reached for the door. “Thanks anyway.”
The doctor nodded with a faint, sad smile and let her leave without another word.
Despite the desire to run out of the office and speed home, she forced herself to walk with quiet dignity to the car and drive the speed limit all the way. She barely made it the half-hour drive and into the house before tears came. She plopped on the floor, her back against the front door, and cried.
What if she proved to be as infertile as her sister? Two children in twenty years. Clara’s husband was a brute like their father had been. He’d beaten her when she failed to get pregnant each year. Their mother had endured the same treatment from their father.
How would Brett respond when he found out about her failure? How long before she had to tell him? Could she put it off for a while? He was speaking to a US history class at the university, invited because of his expertise on the War of 1812, so he had no idea she’d even left the house, much less where she’d gone. He’d be home later that afternoon.
She’d pretend nothing unusual had occurred that day. Prepare dinner. Go to bed like usual while Brett studied, read, or researched, whatever he decided to do that evening. He’d be none the wiser, and she could put off telling him the truth until she had no choice but to admit she wasn’t pregnant.
Plan made, Kelly forced herself to her feet and went to the bathroom to wash her face. Dinner. She needed to figure out what to make for dinner. She’d have a good meal ready for Brett when he got home. Afterwards, she’d clean up the kitchen, check laundry, and let him read. Then she’d go to bed like any other night.
Chapter 4
Friday, November 4, 2016
BRETT watched his mate as she prepared dinner. She’d acted strange all week, but he couldn’t put his finger on any reason for it. Dinner had been on the table every evening like clockwork, which was out of the ordinary in and of itself. Every square inch of the house was in perfect order. Kelly had never made an effort to be June Cleaver. The fact she suddenly was had him more than a bit concerned. He’d initially figured maybe she’d decided to try something new, but the more days passed, the more he questioned that conclusion.
Her smiles had been stiff and forced. Anytime he’d gone near her, she’d stiffened almost imperceptibly, and he’d caught the sour scent of fear. Why would she be afraid of him? Had he done something to frighten her without realizing it?
The day before, with the new moon high, her eyes had glistened when he’d actually caught her gaze a handful of times, as though she might burst into tears at any moment. She’d averted her gaze before he could get a good look, though. Her aversion to direct eye contact was new. From the moment they’d met a year prior, she’d boldly met his gaze and held it. That was part of the reason he’d chosen her for his mate. Well, that and the way passion burned between them from that first day. What man would say no to that?
Avoidance of eye contact. Weepiness. Skittishness. A sudden desire to be domestic. And he was pretty sure she hadn’t been sleeping, because the last few nights, he’d awakened to find her sitting up in bed or missing altogether. What did it all mean? If he didn’t know better, he’d think she’d been beaten into submission, but he hadn’t laid a hand on her.
He’d chock it up to the new moon, but Kelly had never proven to be particularly sensitive to the effects of the dark moon. Certainly not like Colin’s mate, Tanya. So that couldn’t be it.
Glass shattering pulled him back to the present. Kelly stood over a broken drinking glass, a hand over her mouth, tears welling in a way he’d never seen, particularly over something so mundane. Enough is enough. He had to find out what was going on before she completely unraveled.
“It’s just a glass.” Brett squatted to pick up the pieces, laying them on his open palm.
She knelt to help, hands shaking and movements jerky. His hand brushed hers when they reached for the same piece. She yanked her hand away as though burned. Tremors worsened. Why was she acting like he’d bite?
He deposited the large pieces into the garbage and grabbed a hand broom and dustpan to get the rest. She dropped the contents of her hand into the trash can and stepped to one side, watching him sweep up shiny, sparkling bits of glass. He let them slide off the dustpan into the trash and put everything away.
Brett turned to speak to her, only to draw up short at an acrid smell. “Is something burning?”
Kelly’s eyes widened. She gasped and turned to the stove. Whatever was in the pot smoked. “Oh, no,” she whispered. Her gaze turned to him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” The scent of fear rolled off of her, sour and stomach-churning.
That’s it! He reached around her to turn off the burner on the stove and gently gripped her
arm. “Come with me.”
A shudder raced through her that even he felt. She allowed him to lead her to the dining room.
He nudged her into a chair and lowered himself into the one next to it, turning sideways to face her. “What’s going on? You’ve acted weird all week, and it’s getting worse. Skittish and weepy doesn’t suit a strong, fiery woman like you.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Talk.”
She frowned without meeting his gaze and snarled, “Don’t be so bossy.”
Patience thinned. “Are you really going to pick a fight now? It won’t get you out of this discussion.”
Wide green eyes stared at him for a long moment then looked away. Stiff shoulders slumped. “I had a call Monday of last week.”
“From?” he prompted when she showed no inclination to continue.
“Jeremy.”
Only one face came to mind. “Our Jeremy, the doctor?”
Kelly nodded. “He wants to put together information on werewolf reproduction and hoped I could help. He’s trying to determine the effectiveness of pregnancy tests and put together records on fertility, stillbirths, and live births.”
“Okay.” Had Ian approved such an undertaking? Would the files be secure? Brett probably should talk to Jeremy one-on-one before going to Ian about it, find out exactly what the doctor was up to. “What does that have to do with the way you’ve acted this week?”
“I put off going to see him.” She heaved a sigh and folded her hands on top of the table. Then her gaze met his, filled with a steely determination that made no sense. “I’m not pregnant.”
Disappointing but hardly surprising. He frowned at the expectant dread in her eyes. “And?”
“That’s all. I didn’t get pregnant this summer.”
Why did those words seem to carry more weight than they warranted? He cocked his head to study her, terribly confused. “What am I missing? Is this supposed to be catastrophic or something? I don’t understand why disappointment over not being pregnant would cause so much fear on your part. God willing, you and I will be together a very long time, so one missed summer isn’t the end of the world.”
