by Tina Maurine
IF I DIDN’T GET THAT OUT BEFORE ONE OF US GOT HURT, I’D
NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF. SO, AT THE RISK OF LOSING MY JOB AND FELLOWSHIP…THERE IT IS.
I’LL SAY IT AGAIN…I’D SHOUT IT IF I COULD.
I REALLY LIKE YOU. ISAAC
I sat there a little dumbfounded. He likes me? Hadn’t I always wished that he did? Why did it take this catastrophe for him to decide that he did? Or maybe it just made telling me easier? In any case, I wasn’t too sure how to respond, or what to say…hell, if he had told me even as late as yesterday—I would’ve been thrilled. Over the moon with excitement. Now though…well, I don’t know. It just seemed…unwelcome. Another stressor in my life. Another set of feelings that relied on me to make them okay. I’d get back to him, but needed a minute to figure out how best to respond. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. So, what better way to put him off than to read what Eli had to say to me?
SUBJECT: HEY YOU! TO:
RheaVelvetKenzee@pacificlakescommunityc ollege.us.net
FROM:
EliValenSnohe@pacificlakescommunitycolle ge.us.net
SO, THAT WAS A PRETTY AWESOME LETTER! WHAT A GREAT STORY YOU HAVE TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND KIDS ABOUT YOUR NAME! I THINK YOUR GRANDMA MIMI
WAS A SMART LADY GIVING YOU SUCH A POWERFUL NAME. IT TOTALLY FITS YOU! <3
YOUR PARENT’S LOVE STORY…WOW! THAT IS ALL THAT I CAN SAY. WHO DOESN’T WANT THAT KIND OF LOVE? DON’T WE ALL? I THINK ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE FACED WITH YOUR OWN MORTALITY…YOUR OWN EXPIRATION DATE LOOMING IN FRONT OF YOU, WELL…HOW CAN YOU NOT START THINKING ABOUT WANTING A DIFFERENT LIFE? ONE WITH MORE MEANING? A LIFE THAT IS JOINED WITH SOMEONE ELSE’S THAT WILL BRING MORE MEANING TO YOUR OWN. KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I MIGHT BE GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF, BUT I CANNOT IMAGINE TRYING TO FACE EACH HOUR OF THIS WITHOUT YOU HERE WITH ME. I MIGHT BE SHOOTING MYSELF IN THE FOOT (BETTER THAN OUR GUNMEN SHOOTING ME IN THE HEAD—HAHA, J/K), BUT I’M PLEASANTLY SURPRISED BY HOW EASY IT IS TO TALK TO YOU AND HOW EASILY IT HAS BEEN TO CONNECT WITH YOU ON A GENUINE AND AUTHENTIC LEVEL. YOU ARE ONE SPECIAL GIRL RHEA.
ELI.
I sat back, leaning my head quietly against the end piece of the duct. The hostages were no longer crying and had shuffled around, presumably looking for their clothing and getting dressed not long after those two assholes had left them. Now they had resorted to a calm and quiet conversation. Last I had tuned in, it was centered on motive. I had blown it off, because I’d already exhausted possible motives in my own head and was pretty over it all. Honestly, who gave a fuck what these assholes motives were? We were stuck here and as far as I knew, no help had been sent.
My mind wandered and I suddenly felt exhausted. I was so tired.
How could that be? It was only about three in the afternoon?!
First things first…
SUBJECT: CAN I JUST SAY WOW? TO:
IsaacJoesephMatthews@pacificlakescommun itycollege.us.net
FROM:
RheaVelvetKenzee@pacificlakescommunityc ollege.us.net
I’M NOT IGNORING YOU. AFTER READING WHAT YOU
WROTE ME ALL I COULD THINK WAS WOW.
SORRY.
THANKS FOR YOUR HONESTY. I JUST NEED TO STEW ON IT FOR AWHILE.
~RHEA~
I hit send with a heavy heart. I knew he had wanted a different response, but it was all that I could give him.
Emmory’s and Eli’s emails were going to be so much easier to respond to…
SUBJECT: DITTO <3 TO:
EliValenSnohe@pacificlakescommunitycolle ge.us.net
FROM:
RheaVelvetKenzee@pacificlakescommunityc ollege.us.net
ELI,
FIRST OF ALL, YOU DON’T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT SOUNDING A CERTAIN WAY. CLEARLY OR NOT QUITE SO CLEARLY; I FEEL THE SAME WAY. IT’S FUNNY TO SAY, AND IT IS BEYOND MY UNDERSTANDING, BUT I AM SURE THAT I FEEL THE SAME WAY THAT YOU DO. THE THING IS, IF I STOP TO WONDER WHY…I CAN’T EXPLAIN IT.
I MEAN, WHY DO YOU SUPPOSE WE LIKE EACH OTHER SO MUCH? IS IT BECAUSE WE HAVE A GENUINE CONNECTION? PERHAPS…
IS IT BECAUSE WE FEEL ALONE AND ISOLATED?
ABSOLUTELY…
IS IT BECAUSE THERE ISN’T AND WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER PERSON WHO WILL COMPRHEND
WHAT IT MEANS TO BE CONSUMED WITH FEAR FOR YOUR LIFE WHILE HIDING FROM DERRANGED GUNMEN?
ABSOUTELY.
SO, I MEAN I CARE A LOT FOR YOU. I WORRY ABOUT YOU. I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS ABOUT YOU AND INSTEAD OF BEING MY TYPICAL ANALYTICAL SELF…I HAVE DECIDED TO JUST FEEL FOR A CHANGE.
SO, I FEEL LIKE I WANT MORE OF YOU ELI. MORE AND MORE AND MORE.
~RHEA~
I sat there in the near complete darkness after I hit send and my phone screen went dark. My ears were hot and I had a tangible lump in my throat. If I’d had a mirror I am quite certain that I’d be blushing. It was almost comical how worked up I had gotten baring my soul to Eli…suppressing a nervous laugh was pretty darn hard at this point. I opened my email to Emmory just as the classroom door banged open and the lights were thrown back on.
“Alright fuckers! On your feet!”
I tried my damnedest to identify who the voice came from but couldn’t place it. It wasn’t Mercy, Crush, or the low menacing voice that Spider had. Jester maybe? One of the others? It was too soon to tell.
“So, the police are outside and demanding that we show them that everyone is alive before our demands are met. Who thinks they’ve been good enough to go on a fieldtrip?”
“Before we do anything, could we have a bathroom break?” It sounded like the man Ryan—who had asked.
“Yes, please? We really need to go.” Beth the girl from before chimed in. It was easy to tell hers and Ryan’s voice from the others. He sounded like he had a sore throat and hers was that teeny tiny little girls voice that you hear every great once in a while.
The captor grumbled and apparently agreed because they all filed out the door as it gently closed behind them.
I’m alone. Completely and utterly alone.
The thought that at times in my past would’ve scared me or caused a fair amount of panic, now only brought me peace. I was beyond glad that I was ALL ALONE. I tossed my purse down the duct pass the vent opening and slid my butt down the length of the duct until I had space to lay down. Just a little nap, a little nap was all I needed. I was just so damn tired.
Chapter
0.0 Hours
I was startled awake. I glanced at my phone—7:15. I listened, every hair on my body was on edge. I had no idea what had caused me to wake up three hours in to my nap, but something wasn’t right. As far as I could tell, nobody
was in the classroom. I heard very faint and muffled screams, panic.
A SHOT RANG.
My heart accelerated as it was followed by a second and then by an immediate third.
Three more shots. Oh My God! Maybe I was awakened by a shot…that would be four! What in the hell is going on?
As much as I had needed my rest, I now felt like I was in the dark…so to speak. I had no frame of reference as to why there was shooting all of a sudden and what had been the precursor to those shots being fired. All I knew was that the classroom was quiet. DEADLY QUIET.
I dragged my purse over to where I was laying and pulled myself up into a seated position back in the dead-end duct. My phone was blinking so I swiped the screen—seven emails were staring back at me. The first was the email Emmory had sent me earlier and there was one more from her, two from Isaac and three from Eli. Bending my head to look down at my phone made me realize just how sore I had become, what I wouldn’t give to stand. Hell, what I wouldn’t give to be out of this fucked up mess.
Shit, like I even know how to go about it?
SUBJECT: THINKING ABOUT
YOU
TO:
RheaVelvetKenzee@pacificlakescommunityc ollege.us.net
FROM:
EmmoryVanessaJane@pacificlakescommunit ycollege.us.net
RHEA,
I OBVIOUSLY COULDN
’T THINK, OR FOCUS ON SINGING TODAY, SO I’VE LEFT THE STUDIO. I’M NOT TELLING YOU THIS FOR ANY REASON OTHER THAN TO LET YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE TO ME. I JUST DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT YOU.
PLEASE DON’T BE MAD THAT I AM SHARING, IT’S NOT TO MAKE YOU FEEL BADLY THAT I ENDED THE RECORDING BEFORE FINISHING— LUCKILY THE GUYS HERE WERE VERY UNDERSTANDING AND THEY’RE LETTING ME RESCHEDULE AFTER EVERYTHING AT THE COLLEGE ENDS.
I MISS YOU RHE-RHE. JUST KNOW I LOVE YOU, HAVE YOU IN MY THOUGHTS CONSTANTLY, AND AM PRAYING FOR YOUR SAFETY.
*EMM
SUBJECT: UPDATE TO:
RheaVelvetKenzee@pacificlakescommunityc ollege.us.net
FROM:
EmmoryVanessaJane@pacificlakescommunit ycollege.us.net
RHEA,
SO, HERE’S THE UPDATE.
I CALLED THE POLICE AND THOSE ASSHOLES WERE ABSOLUTELY NO HELP AT ALL AS FAR AS TELLING ME WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH THE SITUATION.
SO, I GOT MY MOM INVOLVED UP AT THE GOVENOR’S OFFICE. THEY HAD NO IDEA THAT PLCC WAS UNDER ATTACK OR THAT THERE WAS AN ACTIVE HOSTAGE SITUATION.
I UPDATED HER ON THE FIRES SHOT SO FAR AND POSSIBLE DEATH COUNT.
I KNOW THAT THE GOVENOR HAS MADE A CALL TO THE
LOCAL POLICE, BUT THE REPORT THAT SHE’S GOTTEN IS THAT THE LOCAL POLICE HAVE BEEN IN CONTACT WITH THE PERPETRATORS AND SINCE THEY DON’T NEGOTIATE WITH ‘TERRORISTS’, THEY’RE PLAYING A WAITING GAME. AT THIS POINT IT SEEMS NEITHER SIDE IS WILLING TO BUDGE.
ALL CRAP IF YOU ASK ME. IT SEEMS THEY’D BE TRYING TO GET YOU OUT OF THERE AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.
STAY STRONG. IT WILL ALL WORK OUT; IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO WHEN YOU ARE CONCERNED.
LUCKY BITCH! <3
*EMM
Lucky bitch? Is she fucking serious? OH YEAH, I am so lucky cooped up in a fucking air duct!
I leaned back against the duct-end and sighed heavily. I couldn’t say that I was tired exactly—I’d just had about as peaceful a nap as one could under these conditions; however, I just couldn’t shake the fatigue that I felt. I was exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster that I was on. The last email took me for another loop-de-loop. I had gotten so hopeful for those couple of seconds before I’d reached the end of the email when the wind had been ripped from my sails. It sucked because all I wanted to do was have a little hope. A little optimism that all of this was on its way to a happy ending. An ending that marked my never having to sit alone in a dark, lonely, confined space ever again.
SUBJECT: RE: UPDATE TO:
EmmoryVanessaJane@pacificlakescommunit ycollege.us.net
FROM:
RheaVelvetKenzee@pacificlakescommunityc ollege.us.net
EMM,
THANKS FOR THE UPDATE. I APPRECIATE YOUR MOM GETTING INVOLVED—SEE HER WORKING FOR THE GOVENOR PAYS OFF.
REMEMBER IN HIGH SCHOOL HOW WE HATED HER POSITION AND HOW IT CRAMPED OUR STYLE? WELL, I HAVE TO GRUDINGY ADMIT I DON’T MIND SO MUCH NOW. HEHE
SO A FEW UPDATES ON MY END. THERE’S BEEN I THINK LIKE
FOUR MORE GUN SHOTS. I TOOK A NAP AND AM NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED WHILE I WAS OUT, BUT THE HOSTAGES ARE NO LONGER IN THE COPY AND LAYOUT CLASSROOM ON THE SECOND FLOOR…SO, PRESUMABLY THEY WERE MOVED DOWNSTAIRS, BUT I DON’T KNOW FOR SURE.
I SHOULD ALSO MENTION THAT THE HOSTAGES WERE STRIP SEARCHED AND CAVITY SEARCHED…AND FROM THE SOUNDS OF IT VIOLATED IN FIFTY DIFFERENT WAYS. I AM SURE MEDICS ARE NEEDED.
I HAVE A COUPLE OF EMAILS FROM MY INSTRUCTOR ISAAC MATTHEWS—ALTHOUGH I AM PUTTING OFF READING THEM BECAUSE HE TOLD ME HE LIKED ME IN THE LAST EMAIL. I’M PROCRASTINATING READING THEM— YOU KNOW ME CAUSE I JUST DON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH THE STRESS OF HAVING ANOTHER PERSON’S
FEELINGS REVOLVE AROUND ME. BASICALLY HE SAID THAT IF HE NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO TELL ME, HE’D REGRET IT. SO, HE DID.
UPDATE, UPDATE, UPDATE… WELL, THERE IS ONE MORE THNG. I’VE MET SOMEONE. HAHA…ONLY ME RIGHT? AND AS A SIDE I WAS PISSED WHEN I READ YOU THOUGHT I WAS A LUCKY BITCH…BUT WHO ELSE WOULD HAVE THE LUCK TO MEET SOMEONE THEY GENUINELY LIKE FROM AN AIR DUCT?
HOW FUNNY IT TOOK TELLING YOU ABOUT ELI TO REALIZE THAT HE’S PRETTY SPECIAL AND THAT I DO HAVE SOMETHING GOING FOR ME.
SO, INSTEAD OF RIPPING YOU AN NEW ASSHOLE HERE AT THE END, I GUESS I’LL JUST END BY SAYING…
THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU.
~RHEA~
I sat back and smiled. Eli. I really wanted to read his emails next, but decided instead to get the chore of Isaac’s out of the way.
SUBJECT: YOUR STEW TO:
RheaVelvetKenzee@pacificlakescommunityc ollege.us.net
FROM:
IsaacJoesephMatthews@pacificlakescommun itycollege.us.net
RHEA,
OKAY, I’M DYING TO KNOW HOW THAT ‘STEW’ IS TURNING OUT. HAHA
NO, BUT SERIOUSLY. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT A SHOCK IT MIGHT BE FOR YOU SEEING AS HOW WE HAVE ALWAYS HAD NOTHING BUT THE ‘DEFINITION’ OF A PROFESSOR/STUDENT RELATIONSHIP. OF COURSE I COULDN’T LET ON THAT I ADMIRED YOU SO, AND I’M HOPING THAT IF WE COME OUT OF THIS ‘OKAY’—WHATEVER THAT ENDS UP BEING—THAT IF YOU DON’T RECIPROCATE MY FEELINGS, THAT THEY STAY BETWEEN YOU AND I. OF COURSE I AM SURE THAT GOES WITHOUT SAYING, AS COOL AS YOU ARE.
…JUST THINKING, SEEING AS I HAVE NOTHING BUT TIME ON MY HANDS.
ISAAC
SUBJECT: DINNER TO:
RheaVelvetKenzee@pacificlakescommunityc ollege.us.net
FROM:
IsaacJoesephMatthews@pacificlakescommun itycollege.us.net
RHEA,
NO MATTER HOW THIS ENDS. NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK
OR FEEL.
NO MATTER…
WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER I AM TAKING YOU OUT FOR THE BEST THAI FOOD IN TOWN.
ISAAC.
I subconsciously found myself trying to roll my neck to remove the tightness in my muscles that had noticeably tightened while I’d read Isaac’s emails. Maybe I shouldn’t be so singular in my choices. It’s not like there wasn’t time to get to know both; so why was I letting Isaac work me up into a stressed out tizzy and in contrast, falling for Eli?
Especially after such a short time. It was weird, but then what about all this craziness wasn’t a little?
SUBJECT: TAG YOU’RE IT! TO:
IsaacJoesephMatthews@pacificlakescommun itycollege.us.net
FROM:
RheaVelvetKenzee@pacificlakescommunityc ollege.us.net
ISAAC,
WELL, I HAVE STIRRED AND STIRRED THE STEW SO-TO-SPEAK AND
WHAT I’VE COME UP WITH WILL PROBABLY SURPRISE YOU.
SO, YES. I WAS CONSIDERABLY TAKEN OFF GUARD. I DON’T REALLY KNOW WHAT THE HELL MY PROBLEM WAS, CAUSE—AND NOW IT’S MY TURN TO BE HONEST—I HAVE LIKED YOU QUITE A BIT SINCE MY COPYWRITING BASICS CLASS THAT I HAD WITH YOU FALL SEMESTER OF MY SOPHOMORE YEAR.
SURPRISED? THERE’S MORE…
I took a deep breath trying to find the courage to continue—after all, what did I have to lose—and as Isaac had pointed out; there was a distinct possibility that we might not make it out of here. So what was the harm in being truly honest?
NOT ONLY DID I LIKE YOU, BUT YOU CAN ASK PRETTY MUCH ANYONE IN THE JOURNALISM SCHOOL, AND THOSE THAT HAVE KNOWN ME KNOW THAT I HAVE JOKINGLY ACKNOWLEDGED MY UNDYING LOVE FOR YOU…
HAHA. JUST KIDDING.
NO, BUT REALLY. I’VE SHARED THAT I LIKE YOU TOO.
I THINK THAT INSTEAD OF BEING OVER THE TOP ELATED THAT YOU RECIPROCATED FEELINGS THAT HAVE BEEN GROWING FOR YOU, IT
CAME AT A TIME WHEN I’D CLOSED OFF MY HEART TO THAT POSSIBILITY AND IT HAD BEEN FILLED BY SOMEONE ELSE.
YUP. YOU HEARD ME RIGHT.
A loud bang in the dark classroom startled the crap out of me and I turned my phone off. The air duct went dark. I heard footsteps climbing the stairs, getting louder as the heavy feet landed, creaking on each of the old wooden stairs.
I dared not breathe. I dared not move.
Every hair on my body was standing. Each beat of my heart brought the deafening sound of pulsating blood to my ears.
Was my phone off? God I hope vibrate isn’t on! The heavy boots stopped at the top of the stairs. “Alright little mamacita,” the threatening voice
belonging to Spider spoke. “I know Mercy doesn’t think you are here. But I have a feeling—a sixth sense that is NEVER, EVER wrong.” A cruel snicker snaked out of his mouth. I heard him crouch down in front of the vent. He was so close I could hear him breathing and smell the stench of stale tobacco in the air. “Are you in there chica?”
I closed my eyes tightly and tried to focus on breathing as shallowly as possible, afraid he could hear the air seeping over my lips in hushed, panicked breaths. I pushed my drawn knees even tighter together, afraid he could hear them knocking.
“Ahhh, YES! You are in there. I knew it.” I heard him stand and thought for sure he was going to leave.
Instead, he bent over, and hissed into the vent. “I’m coming for you…”
His heavily receding footsteps should’ve been a welcoming sound, but I was too afraid to even draw in a calming breath.
What am I going to do? Jesus. How does he know?
What am I going to do?
It took me a couple of minutes after I heard the heavy classroom door slam, to finally get a grip on my nerves and calm the response my body had had from the adrenaline assault it had just gone through. I allowed myself to take in a deep cleansing breath and pushed it out forcefully as though I were expelling all the bad juju with it.
I’m not for sure how long I sat there alone in the dark, too afraid to even swipe my cell screen and get back to my emails. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that Spider wasn’t gone.
