Happiness in dying.
It was peaceful to die. The problems of the world long-forgotten and the promise of a new better world- far away from here. It was not just a moment ago that I was suffering in life yet nothing of it could be remembered- no face, no name.
In fact, what was I? What had I been and what did I look like? Nothing came to mind, but it didn’t matter. I was at peace.
Visions of a blue sea came to mind, a raging blue sea as it crashed into the white sand. It looked a tranquil location. Black ravens hovered over the water, their wings fluttering quietly. I smiled at the beauty. It was foreign yet seemed so familiar.
The water seemed endless and I found myself getting lost as it raged on. The sand glimmering white as the sun hit it and I felt the need to caress it and let it run through my fingers. The ravens as black as night made a few ‘cawing’ noises and I felt the urge to hold them within my grasp and stroke their black feathers, but what was this strange urge? The vision played over and over again and then it came to me.
Aaron- the raging sea, the glimmering white sand; the ravens as black as night- they were him.
Suddenly, there was not complete darkness. A few rays of light pierced through the air, making me moan in displeasure at the sudden change.
Then, the sweet lull full song disappeared, almost instantly and a bland hum filled my ears- one that was achingly familiar.
The feeling of distance was gone as soon as it had come. The dream place was now just a memory. It wasn’t close anymore.It was moving away, I could see it,but nothing could be done about it. I was left with sin and impurity.
Then the pain was back, but only slightly and the feeling of numbness wore off. I could feel it all and it took away the eternal happiness.
Everything came flooding back in an instant then. Danny,Justin... Aaron. Everything came racing back- all the names and all the faces; all at once. It was too much to bear and I tried to scream, but nothing came out. I tried moving, but I couldn’t. I was helpless.
Then, Aaron’s face came to mind. His beauty, his smile, his laugh and it was all enough for me to open my eyes.
As I opened it, a dark figure loomed over me.
“Aaron?” My voice croaked out quietly. The figure did nothing to satiate my burning curiosity. It just stood over me and, a few seconds later, the anxiety began to build.
What was this?
I moved a hand up to touch it, but it seemed so far away.
“Aaron?” I repeated again in the same croaky voice. I reached out again with a heavy arm to touch it, but the arm was held tightly by the figure.
It moved down towards me and opened its mouth.
“No, the names Dr. Russell, but you can call me Terry.” and suddenly, his face was clear. He was a bearded man, probably in his late 30s, but his smile looked like a 10 year olds.
He moved away from me and I tried sitting up.
“Where am I?” I croaked and he came back with a glass of water. He didn’t speak while I drank and, for that, I was thankful because I knew what he was going to say would make me do a spit-take.
“You’re in St. John’s hospital, sweetheart. Don’t worry. You’re in good hands.” He replied after putting the water down onto a side table.
I whirled my head abruptly towards him, so much so that it gave me whiplash, but there were much bigger concerns that that I had to tend to.
“What?!” I exclaimed, trying to get up, but I couldn’t. My body seemed sluggish and I fell back into the cushion with a loud thump. Although being a man who’s job was to care for people, he smiled at this.
“I’ve heard a lot about you. You seem quite the handful, Missy.” He said with a chuckle as he looked through a few papers.
I scoffed at his words, but soon realised the full extent of what he had said.
“About me? From who?” I asked curiously, turning to look around the room.
The walls were all white and plain. A TV hung from the right corner of the room and the news blazed away in a muffled tone. I sighed.
Who watches the news?
Aside from that, I couldn’t recognise any of the medical appliances that lay, strewn, across the cabinets that lined the room. On the right side of the bed I was on, a ‘visiting’ chair was placed with a black jacket draped across it.
I lifted a heavy finger towards the jacket.
“Whose is that?” I questioned, awaiting a response, but the Doctor seemed too engrossed in a phone call to answer me.
I sighed heavily before lying back down. At long last, he put the phone down and turned to me.
“A nurse will be here shortly with some food. You must be hungry, right? I’ll be back once I run a quick errand.” He said apologetically and, with that, he left the room, leaving me to my thoughts.
What had happened? How did I get here?
I sighed. I couldn’t get answer just sitting around like this. Everything was so confusing right now and I didn’t know what to do. I needed to leave. I needed to find out.
I sat up with a sigh. My entire body felt heavy but, with a lot of effort, I soon dragged myself out of the bed. Using the walls as support, I moved towards the door slowly. Upon reaching the door, I cursed upon realising what I was wearing. Thankfully, I realised the split in the gowns behind.
It would be bad to moon sick people.
I moved back into the room, defeated. I was about to climb back in bed when an idea formulated inside my head. I grinned widely as I trudged towards the ‘visiting ’ chair, pulling the black jacket off the back. Draping it across my body, I smiled as it covered all, the length reaching to my lower thigh. With this triumph, I continued with my difficult quest to the door.
Upon reaching it, I opened it only to see crowded hallways. There were many people sitting, standing and even running. I sighed heavily before turning right into a bleak corridor.
I manoeuvred past a few gurneys and was about to celebrate my escape until I bumped into someone. I looked up to apologise, but cursed upon seeing who it was.
Aaron fucking Walker.
He looked down at me with both shock and anger evoking his expression which was strange because I had the same expression.
Before I could utter a mouthful or leave dramatically, I was swept off my feet and into Aaron’s arms. I gasped in shock as I looked into his eyes. His expression was now monotone and he began walking down the corridor with me in his arms. I said nothing as we walked, choosing only to stare at him and he did the same in return.
After what seemed like centuries, we reached the room I had so diligently escaped. He moved in without no words and dropped me on the bed with a soft thump. I gasped at his action, but to no avail. Aaron turned away quietly and, with that, he was walking away.
“Aaron.” I called, making him stop dead in his tracks. He turned to me with no expression and I began to think if this was the Aaron I knew.
He nodded his head in way of urging me to talk and, so, I did.
“I know you brought me here. You didn’t even consider what I wanted, did you? You just went about and did it.” I said, folding my arms in anger. He had no right to intervene. This was my decision and mine alone.
I looked to Aaron, but he didn’t say anything. The same monotone expression remained on his face and I began to realise why he was best friends with Justin.
I opened my mouth to speak. He was going to have to hear it today. He had to.
“You knew what I wanted, Aaron, I told you. I didn’t want this, you did! How selfish and conceited can you be?! God, you’re such an ass, Aaron! Why?!” I tearfully screamed, but Aaron made no movement to answer. He stared down at me for what seemed like hours before turning to look at the left wall.
I scoffed at his silence and turned to look the other way. I couldn’t look at him.
“I hate that you think you can control everything. I hate that so much... I hate you.” I said in a calm and levelled voice.
I turned to look at Aaron. By the time I had fini
shed saying what I had to say, I was panting heavily. Aaron’s expression didn’t falter at my words, but- rather- were encouraged. He raised an eyebrow at my words and I almost fainted from his take on casualty in such a tense matter.
“You done?” He asked, folding his arms just as I had done a moment ago. I stood agape at his reply, but nevertheless I nodded.
With this, Aaron shut the door behind him and moved closer to me. I ignored the way my heart skipped a beat, choosing to focus on the incredulous male that stood before me. He nodded slowly before speaking.
“Yes, it was me. I brought you here.” He said simply and I raised my hand sharply to slap him. However, it didn’t reach its destination and was stopped-rather- by his tight grip on my wrist. He looked down at me with no expression as I tried pulling my hand away yet to avail. I was too weak at this minute of time.
Not like I’d be able to pull out of his hold any other time.
He looked down at my hand as he spoke.
“Call me selfish, I don’t care. I didn’t bring you here for you or for anyone else. I did it for me and I’d do it again.” He said, shrugging his shoulders indifferently.
I glared up at him as he spoke, but stopped when his hand caressed my cheek. He sat on the bed beside me, looking me straight in the eyes.
“Don’t I have a right to help you as a friend?” He questioned and I cursed at the use of the word. On most occasions, I would kill to have a friend, but this time I wanted it to be more. My heart clenched in sadness, but I dismissed it. It was never meant to be.
I shook my head, tears running down my face numbly.
“There was no point bringing me here. It’s inevi-”
“I found a donor.” He cut through, assessing my reaction with careful eyes. I was too stunned to speak and my mouth hung agape, so Aaron chose to continue.
“Justin told me why you did what you did. You couldn’t find a donor and it was draining money, I know. So, I took care of it.” He said, a warmth in his tone.
“H-how?” I stuttered out, feeling suddenly light-headed.
He smiled slightly.
“You were only able to pay for a local search, I paid for further. We found Isaac; he’s from New Zealand. He was a 100% match, Lexi.” He murmured, running a hand down my arm.
I nodded, shocked.
“What happened?” I asked.
He smiled, retracting his hand and holding my face.
“The week we weren’t talking, I contacted Terry and set up the search. I found Isaac and I came for you, but you were unconscious. I took you to the hospital and we replaced your bone marrow. Your mum and dad were not reachable, so they called the next of kin- your aunt. She gave consent.”
It was all too much for me to process and I held my head at his words.
“Is that it?” I questioned.
He raised his eyebrow at this.
“Is that it? If only you knew how long it felt whilst you were unconscious.” He let out, sighing sadly. I opened my mouth to speak, but he put a hand over mine.
“But, yes, you were being checked up regularly and there were no signs of rejection. You still have to do a few more check ups though.”
Aaron moved his hand away from mine and turned his sea blue eyes to the window, a small smile on his face. I could almost hear the ocean in the back of my head, raging wildly. I smiled at the tranquility it brought me. Aaron turned his gaze from the window and looked at me, a smirk on his face.
“You’re wearing my jacket.” He stated bluntly, giving my body a once over. I looked down in embarrassment at the black leather jacket. I should have known it was his. I was stupid to wear it.
Aaron’s laugh broke me free of my thoughts.
“It’s okay. Keep it. It looks better on you than it ever did on me.” He said with a genuine smile and my heart fluttered with joy.
But, then all the questions barrelled into my head. How did he find me? Does anyone know? My parents? Danny or Justin? It was all so confusing. Not to mention, a part of me felt so indebted to Aaron for what he did. Everything just seemed to be going too fast.
Aaron seemed to sense what I was thinking and he moved closer to me.
“I know you’ve got a lot of questions on your mind. They’ll be answered, but you need rest. I’m going to take you home.” He said as he got up and stretched his arms over his head.
My eyebrows furrowed at this.
“But mom? Da-” I was interrupted by Aaron covering my mouth.
He smiled at me before speaking.
“You seriously can’t be quiet, can you?” He asked rhetorically, sighing when I shook my head.
“Your parents don’t know anything at all. Your dad called me and I told him that you’re at mine. He didn’t like idea, but I somehow persuaded him. Danny and Justin don’t know a thing either. I’ll explain it all after you’ve gotten some rest. Your auntie has signed the discharge papers. Can we leave now?” He said in one whole breath. He uncovered my mouth cautiously before stepping back as if I were a ticking time bomb.
“How long was I out?” I asked, picking myself up properly.
Aaron moved towards the corner of the room and picked something off a drawer.
“For too long.” He said before coming over and passing me my clothes.
I nodded my head in thanks before getting up. Aaron sat down on the chair to which I glared at him.
“What?” He asked mock-innocently, holding his hands up in surrender. I sighed heavily and folded my arms.
“You need to leave, so I can change?” I said, making it sound more like a question than an answer. Aaron laughed at this and walked towards the door.
“Just hurry up. I’ll be outside.”
*************
The car ride was silent, but not a tense one. I had many questions on my mind right now that needed answering, but Aaron was insistent that he satiate my curiosity after I rest.
But I felt a weight lift off me as though nothing was hindering me now and I felt warmth at that.
I smiled in thanks as Aaron opened the car door for me.
“My my. What a gentleman.” I teased, moving out of the vehicle. Aaron laughed at this before shutting the door behind me.
“Don’t go praising me too much, Lexi. I only opened it because I knew you’d probably say something if I didn’t.” He confessed, pulling me to the house.
I smiled at his teasing words.
“They’re right when they say ‘chivalry is dead’.” I said bluntly to which Aaron laughed loudly. I smiled at this. He called me Lexi after what seemed like forever. Maybe, things would be fine after all.
Pulling me out of my thoughts, Aaron called my name. I turned to him to see him, looking down at the ground.
“We seriously need to talk.” He said and, by the sound of his voice, he was tense. I could tell at least that much. I wanted to know what it was that caused him to worry this much. I nodded my head in encouragement, urging him to speak yet he uttered no words.
He looked as though he was searching for words and, at long last, it seemed as though he knew what he wanted to say and he turned to me once again.
“Before, when I was leaving you in that hospital, you said something...” He trailed off and I froze instantly, knowing what he was talking about. That day in the hospital when he had left...
“Aaron, wait! I love you.”
His shoulders were tensed, that much I could tell. Aaron turned his head slightly to his left, so he could look at me from the corner of his eye. He dropped his gaze to the floor and a look of focus passed over his face. He gazed up at me for a last second before slowly shaking his head and, with that, he exited the hallway.
He was gone.
I watched in anxiousness as he regained his voice and spoke again.
“Well, I didn’t have an answer then, but now I do.” He said, looking down at me. I bit my lip and turned away. I was too mortified to look into his eyes. I considered running away from him, but immediately disregarded
the thought when he pulled my face up to look at him.
“My answer is that I-” But, he was interrupted my someone calling his name.
We both turned abruptly to the voice and I stared hard. There stood a girl. Her hair as blonde as sunshine and her eyes an emerald green. She was looking at us and she had called Aaron’s name.
But, who was she?
I turned to Aaron to see if he recognised her, but was only met with wide eyes. Aaron looked as though he had seen and ghost. His face had become significantly paler and he stood frozen to the spot. I was about to ask what was wrong, but Aaron opened his mouth and spoke.
“Avalon?” Aaron’s voice rung out and he moved away from me.
23- The Third Wheel
“Avalon?” Aaron’s voice rung out and he moved away from me.
______________
Stunned- that’s all I could feel right now as I watched the scene play out right before me. The two ‘lovers’ stared at each other for what seemed like a millenia; no sounds were made. They were too engrossed in each other to move. I watched as Aaron slowly edged closer to her until they were only centimeters apart. A tear slid down Avalon’s cheek as she looked at him and my stomach fell when he clenched his eyes shut tightly at this. It was clear that he didn’t like seeing her in pain.
He didn’t mind me being in pain right now.
I looked to the ground in sadness.It was clear who he loved and, now, it was definitely clear what his answer would have been- a no. He had only loved another this whole time and I was sat on the feeble hope that he had forgotten her. Seeing this encounter, I knew, that wasn’t the case. I could tell that she was all that consumed his mind. I shook my head and turned to leave, but a voice spoke up, making me halt in my actions.
“Why are you here?” Aaron’s voice echoed through the empty streets. His voice seemed cold and distant; I knew he was still scarred from what Avalon had done. He folded his arms and looked at her curiously. Answers were needed now.
Avalon wiped her tears before gazing at Aaron with adoration in her eyes.
“Aaron, I’m moving back here,” Her voice was fragile as she spoke. She looked up at Aaron to see his expression and so did I.
Faker Boy (Alexis Secret Book 2) Page 16
