by Nashoda Rose
“And ending up hurting innocent people.” His jaw clenched and his brows twitched. “Tell me what you need to. Then leave me alone.”
“Rayne—”
“You have thirty seconds.”
He hesitated then, “The woman at the compound, you remember her?” I’d been ten and thought she was going to be my new mom. “She’s powerful and dangerous. More so than any other I’ve known.” I kind of had that impression when I’d seen her. “Rayne, when I came back to the compound after you escaped, she was there.” He hesitated, eyes darting to the glass doors of the gallery. “She told me who you are.”
I frowned. “Huh?” What was he talking about? He knew I was a Scar already.
“How important you are. Who you are.”
“What do you mean by who?”
His head jerked up and his gaze darted to the glass doors again. “The Scars are looking for you.” He snagged my hand and squeezed. “Rayne, come with me. I swear I’ll keep you safe.”
“Roarke.” He was a Grit, and I was pretty sure he could’ve escaped the compound with me, but he hadn’t. I still didn’t want to see him die if the Scars saw him with me. “You should go before they see you.”
“They can’t protect you like I can,” he said.
I doubted that. “Even if that was true I wouldn’t go with you, Roarke.” I slipped my hand from his and he let me.
He nodded then reached out and swept the back of his hand down my check. “Warn the Scars. Tell them a—”
“Get your fuckin’ hands off her.”
Air sucked from my lungs and I spun around so fast, I lost my balance and staggered back on my heels. Roarke grabbed my forearm to steady me.
Oh, my God, Kilter. “Kilter?”
He stood at the curb beside a black Audi, raw anger pulsing through him. His eyes held a speck of red, and they were not focused on me, but on Roarke.
“Get the fuck away from him, Rayne.” Kilter slammed his car door and walked around it, looking like a pissed-off predator about to attack another predator for touching his prey. “Now!” he ordered.
Roarke leaned in to me and whispered, “Can I trust him not to hurt you?”
I didn’t know. God, where had he been all these months? Why had he suddenly showed up out of nowhere? And here at the gala. It didn’t make sense.
I briefly shut my eyes then opened them again to make sure he was real.
He was.
Kilter was here.
So many emotions ripped through me. Anger. Relief. Warm tingling in my chest with stomach whooshes. And, God, he looked good, better than good. Maybe I hadn’t been in a place emotionally to appreciate how hot and sexy Kilter was, but I noticed now.
He wore faded black jeans and a grey T-shirt—tatts inked down both arms and bulging under his muscles.
“He won’t hurt me,” I told Roarke. “He was the one who rescued me from the compound.”
Roarke’s hand slid from my back, and his attention went to Kilter, although I suspected, even though Roarke had been looking at me, he’d been aware of Kilter’s every move. “Not here to harm her, Scar. She’s in danger—”
Kilter dove for him.
Roarke cursed before Kilter’s fist slammed into his jaw. He staggered a few steps, shook his head, and then came at Kilter, ducking, before he swung and hit Kilter in the face.
Kilter turned his eyes to me. “Get in the car.”
Then he yanked a knife from the leather sheath on his thigh. I knew what he was capable of with a knife, and despite not trusting Roarke, I didn’t want him killed.
“Kilter, no.” I ran to his side and grabbed his arm, but he ignored me, chest heaving, eyes burning red at Roarke. “Kilter, he wasn’t going to hurt me. Please, he was the only one who’d been nice to me in the compound.”
Kilter’s eyes darted to me and then back to Roarke.
Roarke stood with his hands up half-mast. “I have no weapon. Don’t want to fight, Scar.”
Kilter hooked his arm around my waist. “Stay the fuck away from her, Grit. I see you again, you’re dead.”
Roarke looked at me then nodded, turned, and walked away.
“Babe, car,” Kilter ordered and tugged on my elbow.
In the last several months, I’d learned to face my battles not run from them, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t nervous as hell around a man who was pulsating anger.
He tugged again.
I stood my ground, raising my chin and clutching the sides of my emerald silk gown as he moved to stand directly in front of me. He was so close now that I felt each breath waft across my face.
I swallowed. “I’m not getting in the car with you.”
He huffed. “Yeah, babe, you are.”
“No. I’m not.”
“Yeah. You. Are.”
I yanked my elbow from his grip and crossed my arms. “Why are you here, Kilter?” Shit, my voice cracked. But I couldn’t back down. I couldn’t let another man walk all over me.
“Why the fuck do you think?” he shouted and the valet getting out of a car turned to stare at us. Kilter either didn’t notice him or didn’t care that he was drawing attention. I was going for the latter. “We have shit to discuss.” He cupped my elbow and pulled me toward the car.
I pulled back. “Touch me again and I’ll have security here in two seconds.” Rebecca’s words repeated over and over in my head. You’re strong and deserve to be treated with respect.
His brows rose. “I don’t give a fuck if you call in the Navy SEALs. You and I are having a conversation.”
The spaghetti strap of my emerald dress slid down my arm and Kilter’s eyes followed it. I quickly slid it back in place and his eyes shot back to mine.
I glared. “I’m not your babe, so stop calling me that. And you can’t order me around.”
“I can.” Kilter hooked his arm around my waist and propelled me up against his chest in one fluid motion. My palms landed on his upper abdomen and his muscles contracted. He leaned down and whispered in my ear. “For the third time, get in the car or I’ll throw you over my shoulder and put you in the car.”
I stood my ground. “You rescue me, acting all gallant and sweet, say you’ll help me, and then you just disappear.” I closed my eyes and fought the urge to pound my fists into his chest and yell and scream and completely freak out. Because I was so mad right now. And confused. And damn it, I wanted a reason why he left without a word, even if it wasn’t a reason I’d like.
He snorted. “Gallant?” There was a slight twitch at the corners of his lips. “Sweet?”
I scrunched my nose. “Well, you were nice in your sort of crude way, and now you’re not. Now you’re being an ass.”
He was quiet for a second, then said quietly, “You owe me.”
Wow. He thought I owed him. He thought I owed him? Was that why he was here? Because I owed him and he wanted something from me? It was like he slapped me across the face, and he must have noticed my reaction because he sighed, his hold on my waist relaxing.
“Not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?” I retorted.
“Fuck.” He let me go and ran his hand through his hair. “Fine, it’s what I meant. I just need to explain shit, and I’m not doing it here with the Scars around.”
“The Scars are inside.”
Kilter chin-lifted to the doors twenty feet away. “They’re coming out.”
I peered over his shoulder just as Delara, followed by Jedrik, pushed open the glass doors, all eyes landing on us.
“Rayne?” Delara called.
“I’ll take her home,” Kilter stated, moving to stand in front of me.
Delara said, “Kilter, we should talk about—”
“The only talking being done is with Rayne,” Kilter said. Then in one swoop, he threw me over his shoulder and stalked toward the car.
I was so shocked that he actually did it, that I didn’t react.
He opened the car door and placed me on my feet. “Babe,
get in.” Then he added gently, “Please.” Without looking over his shoulder at Delara and Jedrik, he said, “Stay the fuck back.”
“Come on, Kilter. What the hell? Waleron hears of this, you’ll be right back in Rest.”
What? Rest?
“Buddy, Delara’s right,” Jedrik said. “Don’t fuck shit up—again.”
“Rayne?” Delara said.
Kilter risked his life to come back for me at the compound, and he’d done nothing but try and protect me. He may have vanished for the last six months, but I did owe him.
I looked at Delara and Jedrik. “I’ll be fine. Say thank you to Balen and Danni for me.” I slid onto the leather seat, and the instant I did, Kilter closed the door, not giving Delara a chance to respond.
I watched as he strode around the front of the car with long, lithe legs and that familiar confident stride. My heart sped up and there was a subtle tingling between my legs.
Jesus. A tingling. I never had a tingling like that for anyone.
I’d always felt something for Kilter, but now it was different. Now, I throbbed with need. To touch him. For the first time in my life, I desired a man and I thought about him kissing me. His hands on me. God, his—
His car door slammed. I jerked.
“Why are you so fuckin’ jumpy?” Kilter scowled. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I know.” Jesus, I was thinking about us fucking. I was turned on and, at the same time, still angry with him. The two emotions collided into one hot mess. “Why are you being so mean?”
He turned the ignition, put the car in gear, and drove a few seconds before he said, “I’ve had a crappy six months and I’m pissed as hell to come back and see you in the arms of a soul-sucking Grit.”
“I wasn’t in his arms, Kilter.”
“You weren’t struggling to get away.” He kept his eyes on the road while his hands gripped the steering wheel so hard I heard the leather crack.
Thoughts are words. Thoughts are words. “You have no right to tell me who I can and can’t talk to.”
His knuckles turned white. “For Christ’s sake, I saved your life. I have every fuckin’ right. ”
“Are you going to hold that over my head forever? I remember, okay? I’m here because of you—I get it. So here it is—thank you. Now are we through?”
“Not by a long shot.” His head turned and he briefly looked me up and down. “No bones. Better.”
I rolled my eyes at his half attempt at a compliment. “Gee, thanks. Always the eloquent one. You, on the other hand, look like hell.” He did look rough, but he was still hot.
Kilter’s brows lowered and his lips pursed together. He was silent a few seconds before he slammed on the brakes. I gasped as the car skidded to a halt and a horn honked behind us.
He punched his fist into the dashboard. “Damn it, babe, I fucked up. You could’ve been hurt and I wasn’t here.” He cursed under his breath and leaned his head back against the headrest. “I don’t need this.”
I bit my lip as I watched the ravaged look on his face. He had dark circles under his eyes and his cheekbones were accentuated as if he’d lost weight. What happened to him? He was acting like he was concerned about me, yet why had he stayed away for six months? He lived with the Scars, why hadn’t he asked one of them where I was? It didn’t make sense.
“What do you want, Kilter?”
He closed his eyes while his hands rested on the bottom of the steering wheel. When he opened them again, he turned his head to look at me.
My breath stopped.
Unmistakable anguish lay unsettled in his eyes, and it was so heart-wrenching that I reached out to touch his arm but drew back and put my hand back in my lap.
I didn’t know what was between us. Why he rescued me. Why he shared a part of himself he never shared with anyone. Why he had made me feel protected. But I wasn’t ready for the intimacy of what touching him might bring.
“Seeing you tonight….” His eyes landed on me and his arm shot out, cupping the back of my neck. He leaned in and, at the same time, pulled me toward him.
My eyes widened, breath hitched, and my heart pumped wildly. Then his mouth crashed into mine.
I sagged in to him, no resistance. None. I was his puppet as his mouth moved over mine with desperate need.
My breasts throbbed as heat radiated off his chest, off mine, fingers bunched in my hair, his other hand now at my waist, keeping me from moving away. But I wouldn’t.
I’d never felt anything so intense as the desire swirled through every part of my body.
Overpowering.
Electrifying.
And terrifying because I melted into him and there wasn’t a piece of me that didn’t want more of him.
Oh, God, what was he doing to me?
Uncontrollable. Penetrating. And it scared the shit out of me that this man could cause such strong emotions with a single kiss.
He broke away and we stared at one another for a second. My chest heaved and my lips felt bruised and swollen, but it was a good bruised and swollen.
His hands fell from me and he sighed, leaning back in his seat. “Fuck, I shouldn’t have done that.”
I had no response because my head spun and my body ached and throbbed, wanting more. I touched my lower lip with the tip of my finger.
Jesus.
He put the car into gear and pulled into traffic before glancing at me. “You okay?”
“Ah, yeah.”
“You sure?”
No, but I nodded anyway. I had to get out of here. I had to get my head on straight before I talked to Kilter. “Can you take me home now? I live—”
“I know where you live.”
He did? “You do?”
“Yeah. Found out as soon as I woke from Rest.”
I frowned, looking at him. Delara had mentioned that. “What’s Rest?”
“They didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“Where I’ve been for six months.”
“Umm, no.”
“Fuck.” He glanced in the rearview mirror then over his shoulder before turning onto Queen Street. “Rest is sleeping while living your worst nightmares. A coma-like state. A Scar’s body shuts down and requires no need for food or water, just a place for your body to lie protected from the elements and enemies. You can’t escape it or wake until one of our Taldeburu releases you from it. The fucker of it is you relive your past. And not the good parts. Screams. Pain. You know, the worst shit you could ever imagine playing over and over in your head. You’re on the sidelines watching, unable to look away.” He turned to look at me. “Heard your screams. Gemma’s screams. My screams. It was a fuck of a rough six months.”
Holy shit. Six months? That’s where he’d been? In Rest? And who was Gemma? “I don’t understand. Why? Who would do that to you?” My stomach cramped at the thought of Kilter suffering something so horrible for the last six months while I had thought he’d ignored me. “Kilter? Why were you put in Rest?”
“Doesn’t matter, babe,” Kilter said.
“I want to know.”
“Too bad.”
I tried another approach. “Please.”
He sighed. “I disagreed with Waleron, lost my shit, and he put me in Rest.”
Disagreed with Waleron? A cold wave of dread swept over me. “Oh, my God, that day. It was about me?”
“Yeah. But I was put in Rest because I attacked him and the other Scars. Waleron warned me, I didn’t listen.” He pulled over and I noticed we were in the back alley outside Danni’s gallery. “He woke me this morning.” He reached over and linked my fingers with his resting on my thigh. “Rayne, I don’t know what’s between us, but it’s something, and I’m not going anywhere.”
That didn’t sound like the Kilter I knew. I had to admit I didn’t know him very well, but in the time we’d been together, I’d been at my most vulnerable and he’d been crass, rude, and controlling.
But as much as I could trust som
eone, I did Kilter. Because he was honest. When he talked to me, it wasn’t with pity or with lies or with sympathy. There was no pretending.
And that was in his kiss—raw and possessive and completely overwhelming. But despite wanting him, I needed to be on my own before I could share myself with anyone else. I wasn’t ready for someone like Kilter. I wasn’t ready for any man.
“I know this isn’t much, but I’m sorry for what happened to you.” I paused. “But it’s taken a long time to get where I am, and one step in the wrong direction is ten steps back.”
He scowled. “You think I’m the wrong fuckin’ direction?” I didn’t say anything, because he wasn’t exactly the wrong direction, just the wrong time. “That’s complete bullshit, Rayne. You feel what’s between us, too, and you know I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
“I didn’t say that. I know you wouldn’t. It’s just you’re… overwhelming, and I don’t need overwhelming.”
“I saved your goddamn life.”
Whoa. I stiffened, glaring at him. “Really? Are we back to that again? I had one asshole in my life, don’t need another.” The words slipped from my mouth, and the second they did, it was too late. I couldn’t take them back. I saw the shock on his face as his eyes widened then narrowed as his brows lowered.
Shit, he didn’t deserve that. I reached out and put my hand on his forearm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.”
He was silent, no longer looking at me but out the windshield. His jaw clenched and he gave a single nod before leaning across my lap and throwing open my door.
Shit. “Kilter, I—”
“Don’t,” he barked. “I need time to cool off.”
I’d sensed from the beginning that Kilter’s past issues bordered my own. It was as if he constantly tried to push everyone away—except me. “Kilter, I didn’t mean it like that. I just want you to understand. You disappeared for six months and now you show up and kiss me and—”
