by Herb Hughes
Within minutes Mac fell asleep and slumped forward against the mule’s neck. The animal, having slept for hours as it waited for water, did not break its slow, steady stride. It kept ambling in the same general direction. The further they traveled, the more the desert became a barren sand field. Rocks and twisted scrubs disappeared. The sand became finer until dust stirred with each clomp of a hoof. For a while, the dust settled right back to the ground, but then the unending stillness of the desert came to an end. A breeze began to stir, sending the dust flying with each footstep. Clouds sprang up on the northeastern horizon as Mac continued to sleep. The clouds moved quickly. A storm was coming to the desert.
Chapter 22
The next morning brought the reality of having a reason for being in Lisbon. Jack was thankful that he was not in town for the social life. At the same time, he did not relish the idea of facing a Rhino with nothing more than a homebuilt in his hands, but that was what he had to do. There was no face-saving way around it, so he resigned himself to reality and pulled on his thick brown cotton pants with cowhide fronts.
It would have been fitting to use Rhino hide for the pants, particularly for a Rhino hunter, but no one had ever developed a process that would tan Rhino skin so that it was soft enough to use. The meat was inedible as well. Not only did it taste bad, at least that’s what he had always heard since he was not about to find out for himself, but if you managed to swallow a few bites it made you deathly ill. How could a creature like that evolve? There was nothing worthwhile about Rhinos… except they provided him a good income.
Jack was scheduled to meet with rangers, politicians, and businessmen at nine o’clock to discuss the plan for using him in the war against Rhinos. They had called it “first thing in the morning,” but nine o’clock seemed awful late to Jack. He wondered how people in the city ever got anything done. With time to kill, he sat down to read the newspaper that the hotel had left at the door. He almost fell out of the chair when he saw the headlines.
“Oh, Shit!” Jack mumbled to himself. He tossed the paper to the floor. Just what I needed.
He sat for a moment, staring at the scattered newspaper, but decided he needed to read the article no matter how bad. Sipping coffee as he read, Jack finished the short and unflattering piece. It was not altogether true. In fact, a fair amount of it was fiction. That was strange. Had Slim embellished the story with each telling?
He placed the newspaper on the table for Sheffie. She had gone to the library early and could read it when she got home. No need trying to hide anything as it would be the talk of the town. He might as well hold his head high and confront the talk directly. With an hour to kill, he left the room to wander the streets and familiarize himself with Lisbon.
As Jack was walking through the hotel’s front door, a short man with a pot belly, balding head, and comically large ears stepped in front of him.
“Mr. Wheat,” the little man said, extending his hand. “I’m Dokie Edwards. Glad to meet you.”
The doorman rushed over. “Please refrain from bothering Mr. Wheat, you... you…” he began angrily. The doorman’s face was flushed, almost matching his red jacket.
“Watch it, costume boy,” the little man retorted as he stiffened his body and raised his fists.
“Ah, it’s all right,” Jack said, waving the doorman off. “I’ll be happy to speak to Mr. Edwards.”
The doorman started to say something, hesitated, then uttered, “As you wish, Mr. Wheat. But, well, sir, a man of your stature, with a person of his repute…” Jack could see there was still considerable reservation on the uniformed man’s face as he pointed down toward Dokie.
“Thank you. I can handle myself quite well,” Jack smiled and winked toward the doorman with the eye that the short man could not see. That seemed to placate the doorman, and he went back to his post. Still, he kept a wary eye turned toward the short, round man.
Jack turned to the little man and said, “Ah, glad to meet you, Mr. Edwards.” Jack reached his own hand forward. As the Rhino hunter and Dokie Edwards shook hands, Jack couldn’t help but notice that the little guy’s hand was bigger than his own. He had large feet as well. Combined with the pot belly and shiny dome, the large hands, feet, and ears made him almost look like a toy.
“Mr. Wheat, or may I call you Jack?”
“Sure.”
“Great, Jack! Thanks. Let’s, ah, walk along the sidewalk as we talk,” the little man said as he glared back at the doorman. He grabbed Jack by the elbow and led him away from the hotel.
“Okay,” Jack said. He had no destination, so it didn’t matter which way he went. And his curiosity was up.
“I understand you came into town alone.”
“No, I wasn’t alone.”
“Not alone, but not with anybody. Well, ah, I mean with somebody, but with a woman.”
“She’s a pretty nice woman,” Jack said, amused by the little man’s stammering.
“I-I mean. Not with a man.”
“I’m not that type,” Jack replied with a smile.
“Oh, hell,” the little guy said, more to himself than Jack. Then, louder, “I didn’t mean to insinuate that you were a... Well, you know what I mean.”
“I’m trying.”
“Look. I’m sure you’re woman is fabulous. Somebody like you could get any woman he wanted. Or all of them at the same time, for that matter. But what I’m trying to say is you didn’t bring a sidekick. So I’d like to be your sidekick while you’re in town. It would be a great honor to be your sidekick.”
“Sidekick? What’s a sidekick?”
“What?” the little man responded, surprise on his face. “What is this? A hero who doesn’t know what a sidekick is? Why, a sidekick is your traveling partner. Somebody who’s always there to help you out of a jam. Somebody who takes care of all the little details and does all the dirty work for you, who sometimes saves your life with no thought for himself and no thanks for a job well done while the hero always gets the credit.”
Jack had known Rhino hunters who traveled in pairs, one the hunter and the other an assistant, but he had never even thought of doing it himself. All things considered, it would be too inconvenient.
“Sounds like a terrible job,” Jack responded. “And it sounds like you’ve been reading too many old Earth novels. Thanks, but I hunt alone.” He turned to go, but hesitated. Where was he going to go?
“Wait!” the little man cried out. “You can’t brush me off like everybody else does. Please, let me have a chance.”
“Listen, I’m not trying to offend you, but… ” Jack stared at the short man and saw nothing but sincerity in the round face. He couldn’t help but like the little guy, regardless of what the hotel doorman thought. He softened his tone and decided to be diplomatic while he thought of a way to let the guy down easy. “So why would I need you as a sidekick?”
“What do you know about Lisbon?”
“Not much,” Jack admitted. “Seems to be a lot of politicians here.”
“Sounds like you’ve been staying on the bad side of town,” the little man said. “Listen, I know everything about Lisbon: the streets, buildings, landmarks, good restaurants, people, how to get whatever you want. I mean, not that you would want some of the things I could get, but if you did, I could arrange them for you.”
“Hmm. I’m not sure I want to know what all of those things are.”
“You tell me what you want, and I’ll find it for you.”
“You don’t sound like you’re from Lisbon,” Jack said.
“I’m not. Came from Deaton, small town on the edge of the desert, a day’s ride west of here. But I’ve been in Lisbon for years. I made it my job to know my way around, both the places and the people.”
“It might be beneficial to have your knowledge of Lisbon,” Jack said reluctantly.
“Of course it would,” the little man shouted happily. “Just try me for a few days. If I’m not a good sidekick, you can kick me off the job. You won’t
regret it. I promise.”
“Okay. We’ll try it for a day or two, that’s all. If I decide against it, no argument. Understood?”
“Loud and clear, Mr.… Ah, Jack.”
“What did you say your name was? Cookie?”
“No, no, no!” the little man almost shouted, his face contorted with disgust. “Dokie!”
“I’ve never heard that name before.”
“It’s a nickname. My aunt raised me. She called me that when I was a kid. Hell, I don’t even know what it means. If it means anything. But I use it so I won’t have to tell people my real name.”
“What’s your real name?”
“Man, for a big hero you’re a little slow. Maybe you don’t hear so well.”
“I hear fine,” Jack laughed. “But if you’re going to be my sidekick, I need to know your real name.”
“You have to know?”
“Yep.”
Dokie shuffled his feet a moment. He looked down at the ground and muttered, “Constantine.”
“What? I can’t hear you.”
The short man looked up and stared Jack straight in the eye. He said loudly, though not so loudly those nearby could hear, “Constantine Keyworth Edwards, damn it!”
Jack laughed. The little man looked up at the taller man and frowned. “You see. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Okay,” Jack said, holding his laughter back. “Dokie it is. Come on, sidekick. I need a good cup of coffee. Where do we go?”
“Okay! Now you’re talking. I know this great little coffee house...”
A meeting! Jack had never been in an official meeting before, and it turned out to be the biggest waste of time he had ever experienced. Even the dreaded ‘reception’ had had the benefit of having food available. But this meeting, well, to start with he felt out of place. He wore his hunting clothes, of course. That’s why he came to Lisbon, to kill Rhinos. But everyone else at the meeting was dressed in a suit and tie. Except for Andropov and his assistants. They were in full dress uniform, which, in its own way, looked more formal than a suit.
The participants sat around for two and a half hours and accomplished virtually nothing other than talking incessantly, often several people at once. No one had any idea where Jack should be or how they were going to get him to the scene when a Rhino burst from its hole. Jack couldn’t believe that some sort of plan had not been developed before he came to Lisbon. Why were they in such a rush to get him there when they didn’t have a clue as to how he was going to be deployed?
Lisbon had an elaborate warning system throughout the city, with an alarm on every corner and another halfway between each block. They operated on the same principal as the telegraph and were connected with electric “cables” so that when someone sounded the alarm, it rang in the nearest ranger station and in RHQ, Ranger Headquarters. The rangers would automatically know which alarm had rung, so they knew exactly where the Rhino was. This fascinated Jack. All this modern technology was so intriguing.
Even with the alarm system, however, there were still several major problems. Should Jack be stationed in one spot or should he roam the streets of Lisbon randomly? If he was to stay in one spot, where should that be, RHQ? The politicians and businessmen in the meeting all favored locations that protected their individual interests. Andropov favored RHQ since that’s where the alarms rang. But when there was an attack, how would they get Jack to the site quickly enough, especially if the attack was in a different part of town? Would he need additional rangers to assist him? And on and on. There were far more questions than answers.
It seemed to Jack to be a relatively simple problem. He should be centrally located so that he could reach all areas of the city within a reasonable time by the fastest means available. Besides, the nicer and more expensive buildings were downtown, and so were the people. They were concentrated in a smaller area.
Several people favored RHQ, but it was not centrally located. It was toward the south side, several blocks from the center of the city. There were at least a dozen non-simple solutions suggested at the meeting. No three people agreed on any of them. And, of course, no one cared for Jack's idea of a simple approach since it did not necessarily protect their individual interests.
The sound of bickering and accusation spoiled the air in the room repeatedly. More than a few arguments broke out. So, after a couple of hours of getting nowhere, a small group was assigned to study the question. This new group was called a “subcommittee.” The full committee would meet again in two days and listen to the subcommittee’s recommendations. In the meantime, Jack was told to do what he felt was best, which put the deployment burden directly on his shoulders.
The thought of having a second meeting made Jack nauseated. The only good news was that he would be free to attack the problem his way for a couple of days. And, thank goodness, he hadn’t been selected to be on the subcommittee. It also gave him time to confer with Andropov. He was beginning to realize that any workable solution was going to take the coordinated effort of a lot of people, and the rangers were the key.
Jack was grateful that no one at the meeting had mentioned the embarrassing article in the newspaper. He was sure they had all read it, but they had the decorum to keep it to themselves.
As he walked out of the meeting, he continued to think about things in a different light. The thought that he would need a deployment plan had not even entered his head before he arrived in Lisbon. It was easy enough to assume that these people knew what they were doing when they requested him. What a mistake!
Now that he was here it bothered him that there was no plan in place. Lisbon was a vast city, much larger than it had been the last time he was here, almost twelve years earlier. This whole crazy idea bothered him more and more as he walked out of the meeting. How could one person make a difference, no matter how good a Rhino hunter? Perhaps an able administrator with a large force and proper equipment could do something, but one Rhino hunter? At the same time, however, that was exactly what the people of Lisbon were expecting. They thought Jack was going to come into town and single-handedly save them from all the raging, murdering, bloodthirsty Rhinos. The gravity of what he had gotten himself into began to weigh heavily on his shoulders.
Jack reached the front lobby and retrieved his homebuilt from the ranger at the desk then walked out of city hall and down the stairs to street level. He didn’t see Dokie and thought perhaps the little guy had had second thoughts. A slower look around the grounds revealed that the little man was to the left, at the far corner of the building with his back against the wall. A tall, plump ranger loomed directly in front and above him. The ranger was hunched over, pressing his face into Dokie’s and speaking loudly.
“I can’t leave you alone for five minutes, can I?” Jack said to Dokie as he walked over.
“Jack! Thank goodness you’re back. Tell this fat oaf to get off me.”
The Ranger backed up two steps and looked at Jack with both anger and disbelief in his eyes. He said, “This guy is a friend of yours, Mr. Wheat?”
“Yes. I’m sorry, officer. What did he do?”
“I didn’t do nothing!” Dokie declared. “This tub of lard started jumping on my case because I was out here waiting for you. Told me there was ‘no loitering’ around city hall.”
“I’m sorry, officer,” Jack said. “That’s my fault. I told Dokie to wait for me here.”
“Oh, it wasn’t that, sir. This, ah, ‘gentleman’, was mocking... well, Mr. Wheat, I’ll leave. But if you’re going to be around this particular person for any length of time, you need to teach him to have a little more respect for the law.”
“I’ll do that officer. Thank you. Come on, Dokie.”
They walked away, but they could feel the Ranger’s eyes following them until they were out of sight.
“You always this friendly with the law?” Jack asked.
“Law? Bunch of overgrown losers. The only law in this town is the money in your pocket. And those
clowns don’t have any,” Dokie said as he nodded back toward the ranger, now far behind them.
“Okay, sidekick. You’re going to have to get along. I can’t have a sidekick causing trouble and embarrassing me. Understand?”
“Ah, okay, Jack. I’ll do my best. But those bums...”
“Just do it, Dokie. Now, I’m starved. I usually have lunch about the time the people around here eat breakfast. You ready to eat?”
“Sure. So what took you so long in there? I was beginning to think you’d gone out a side door and dodged me.”
“Have you ever been to a city hall meeting, Dokie?”
“Can’t say as I have. The only time I go into city hall is when I’m being, well, escorted.”
“Don’t. If you’re ever invited, find an urgent need to be somewhere else.”
“I’ll remember that. So what do you want for lunch? I know all the good places.”
“You pick,” Jack said. “Just regular food, though. I’ve had enough exotic food.”
“Follow me. I know just the place.”
They hadn’t gone far when Jack noticed a sign on top of a three-story building. “What does that sign mean?” he asked. “The one about building houses. When we need a house in Borderton we get a bunch of friends and throw a building up.”
