by Violet Paige
He dropped to his knees. He cupped my cheek with the palms of his hands.
“God, I’m sorry. I fucked up. It wasn’t supposed to happen. It never was supposed to happen like this.”
“And how was it supposed to happen? Did I not fall into the plan like I was supposed to? What exactly did I ruin for you, Vaughn?” I laughed bitterly. “And that’s not even your name. I can’t even use your real name.”
“It doesn’t matter what you call me. You can call me anything you want, Em. Call me Vaughn.”
“Please go,” I begged. “Please. I can’t do this. I can’t be a part of whatever phase this is in your deranged reality.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I can’t leave. I have to make it right. I have to fix this. I need you to believe me.”
“There is no fixing it. You’re wanted by the government. There are federal agents searching for you. Turn yourself in.”
I didn’t expect the smirk. “That is also not going to happen.”
“You don’t have a choice. They’re going to catch you.” I sniffed.
“Sweetheart, I’ve been in this game a long time. I haven’t been caught yet.”
I felt it. The dangerous flicker that wicked the first night we met. The glimpse into the layers Vaughn carried. The draw that I tried to deny.
“What does that even mean?” I was mesmerized by him. By his audacity. By his presence. By the fact that he was here in the flesh, kissing me, touching me. Promising me that everything I felt was real.
“I’m not turning myself in.”
He tipped my chin forward. My lips quivered.
“Let me go. Just let me go before there’s nothing of me left,” I begged.
“I’m not going to let go. I’m going to protect you. Take care of you. Save you when you need saving. Push you when you need it. Hold you. Kiss you. Get drunk on you.”
I stopped crying. “You want a second chance.”
“It’s not a second chance. I fucking love you, Emily Charles. I never stopped. I left to spare you. And it almost killed me. I thought you would be better off if I didn’t come back. That my life would drag you into darkness, but I didn’t realize that without you I couldn’t find the light again. I can’t live like this anymore. I came back for you.”
I fell into his arms. The kiss turned to liquid fire, engulfing us in raging flames. He pulled me from the floor, lifting me into his arms.
I stared into his eyes.
The sliding door closed behind us and he carried me to my room. He lowered me to the bed, then turned to close the door and pushed a chair under the handle.
“Just in case.” He winked. “No interruptions.”
I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything but him. He was back. Back for me. For us.
Chapter 28
There was a fraction of a second. A moment when Vaughn stepped from the chair blocking the door back to the bed. It was the sliver of time I could have backed out. The time I should have told myself I didn’t need him anymore. That I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life.
But he crawled toward me on the bed. I looked into the depths of his eyes. He brushed a kiss across my lips and I knew I would go up in smoke with him. I would give anything for this. For him.
I raised my arms overhead as he pulled the sweater from my body. His mouth found mine and I kissed him like that first night on the street. Like there was mystery and magic between us. I couldn’t think about what would happen when this was over. All I could do was live in it. Too hold him close. To love him like I had never loved him before.
His hands roamed my body, tugging, caressing until my clothes were a pile on the floor. He ran a finger over my breast, circling my nipple until it perked under his command. His teeth grazed over, biting harder with each gnash of his teeth. I ran my hands through his hair, pressing harder into him. I moaned when he sucked my breast between his lips.
My legs parted and his fingers slid over my navel and dove between my folds. He flicked and rubbed my clit while he sucked my tit with commanding force.
“Ohh,” I whimpered. My hips rocked and swayed, urging his fingers to slide deeper and farther until he finally pushed inside me.
His lips broke free of my nipple as he pressed a rough kiss on my mouth. I yielded to his tongue. Hungry for his taste.
“I missed you, Em. I missed you so fucking much,” he growled, taking my face in his hands.
I nodded in agreement. Was that the word? Did that describe the emptiness and loneliness that moved in when he left. I did more than miss him. I mourned him.
“I’m going to show you.” He smiled. “Show you how much I need you. How much I have to have you in my life. In my bed. In my world.”
My hands wrestled with the buckle on his jeans. I eagerly unzipped them and shoved them over his legs. He kicked them to the floor. I fisted the width of his shaft, letting it slide against my palm. He let out a groan.
His eyes flickered. He planted a kiss on my lips. My feet tucked around his waist as he nudged his cock against my heat. He hovered at my entrance, toying with the sensations, driving me mad, pushing me to desperation. I could see it in his eyes. The lust and the longing.
We were suspended in a place where our bodies called out to each other. Needed each other. Were feverish to own the other. Letting him back in was the only choice. I didn’t know how else to erase the lost time.
I clawed at his back, arched toward the ceiling, and spread my knees. I had relived this. Remembered his eyes on me. The feel of his cock waiting to take me. It was this moment I wanted. The rawness of it. The pureness of giving him my body. He pushed the tip of his shaft deep enough to make me gasp. I stretched around him. I moaned, waiting for the full contact when his body would be inside mine.
“Fuck,” he growled in my ear, thrusting with a powerful stroke until he was buried deep in my walls.
“Ohh.” I whimpered remembering how our bodies fit together like this. I stretched around him, blinded by the beautiful pain. He rocked into me. I could tell he was eager to move deep. To push our boundary. Bind us together in a new way.
He threaded his fingers through mine, taking my hands over my head. He pumped inside me again. I moaned.
“Vaughn, it’s too much.” I tried to catch my breath.
“It’s not enough,” he whispered. “I can never get enough of you.” He kissed my throat as my head reeled back with another of his powerful surges.
He moved to his heels, pulling out of me. There was no time to protest or question him. I hated the sudden cold. I hated the immediate distance that was created when our bodies weren’t melted together. He flipped me on my stomach and began kissing my ankles. His lips moved to the back of my knees and up the sensitive lanes of my thighs. I held my breath when I felt the warmth of his lips press into the roundness of my ass. His hands coasted up to my hips. His fingers dug into my flesh.
“So damn beautiful.” He sighed. “So sexy.” He drew a line down the center of my back with his finger. I shivered.
He crawled over top of me, his body lowering to align against mine. I felt the solidness of his shaft against my thigh. I was aching for it. I shifted my hips, tipping toward him. His hands stretched over my arms until his fingers were locked in mine. He kissed my neck, my ear, my cheek. I rocked back and forth. Each time his cock moved closer. Each time he rubbed our bodies together. The slickness of sex creating a heated friction.
“Oh, God, Vaughn,” I moaned. I had never wanted him so badly.
His teeth clamped on my shoulder.
I lifted my ass once again and he pushed inside me. We groaned at the contact. He slammed into me, ramming his thick shaft deep against my walls.
I screamed his name, but he muffled my cries with his lips and his tongue. His rhythm picked up speed. His pumps intensified.
“Fuck, Em. Fuck it.”
He sat back, bringing me off my stomach and onto my knees. I grabbed the headboard for leverage. I jutted back, sink
ing with all my force onto his cock.
“Fuck,” he howled.
I couldn’t stop. I needed him to feel it. To feel me. To experience the pleasure and the pain. To absorb it. To love it. To need it and crave it like I did. I kicked back again off the bed. His hands wrapped around my chest, pinching and pulling my nipples.
“Shit,” I hissed.
The pressure was intense. His cock too big. Our bodies were too explosive together. I bounced wildly, riding him higher and higher. I let go of the bed, scaling his body. Twisting and turning until we were face to face, my legs wrapped around him. We bucked up and down. Our mouths licked and sucked until our tongues twined with the same rhythm as our bodies. I held him in my arms. Clung to his neck. Breathed his breath. I was coated in his sweat. Covered in his scent. I was tangled in his arms.
“I never want to stop fucking you. Never.” He kissed me.
“Don’t. Please don’t.”
The tears burst from my eyes.
“Oh God.” He stared at me.
“Don’t stop. Don’t stop,” I urged. I let the tears fall.
He kissed the side of my cheek and then the other.
The rush was instant. I knew the orgasm would knock both of us to the bed. It was violently taking over my body. The twinge was like white lightning shooting through my core, numbing my limbs, coating my veins with blackness.
Vaughn pushed inside me. His body stiffened. I felt the spasm of his muscles as he released inside me.
We held each other in that moment. Letting the glitter fall around us. The heat of a burning bed smolder under our bodies.
I opened my eyes. My legs were locked around him. He held my lower back to keep me from falling back.
He kissed me roughly.
“I meant it, Em. I love you. And I’m not leaving here without you.”
“That wasn’t goodbye sex?” I whispered.
He shook his head. “Hell no.”
I was more shocked than if he had stood up and walked out of the room.
“I-I don’t understand.”
His thumb rubbed over my bottom lip.
“I came back for you. I want you to come with me.” He brought his lips to mine. I touched my tongue to his thumb just as he sealed our mouths with a dizzying kiss.
I seemed to forget what Vaughn had said. I let him love me again and again, until we both fell asleep. It was the first time I had slept in weeks.
Chapter 29
I sat forward. The panic ripped through me. It was morning. The bed was empty. And I was naked.
I ran my hands over my sore body. Traces of him were everywhere. He had touched me. Kissed me. Fucked me into oblivion. I closed my eyes. And he was gone. I patted the vacant pillow next to me. There was still an indentation from where he had slept.
I blinked when I heard a toilet flush.
The bathroom door opened. He stood in the doorway. “Did I wake you?” he asked.
I let out a breath I was holding.
“You’re still here.”
He crossed the room. He looked at me quizzically. “You thought I was gone?”
I nodded.
“Em, my pants are right there.” He pointed to the pile of clothes we had assembled last night.
“Right.” I tried to look relaxed. He had been missing a fraction of a second and I had already gone to the darkest of places.
He sat in front of me. “I think it’s time to have that conversation we didn’t have last night.”
I stared at his long lashes. They undid all my good intentions. I got lost in his eyes. In his voice.
I nodded. “I think so.” I couldn’t pretend he wasn’t a fugitive. I couldn’t act as if everything were normal. There was no normal in our relationship.
The first time I was naïve. He seduced me. Last night I made a conscious choice. I wasn’t his victim or target. I couldn’t blame him for my decision. I had crossed a line I didn’t know I was capable of crossing. I chose one night with Vaughn over everything I had ever valued and knew to be right. I waited for regret to hit me. For guilt to consume me.
“Ask me anything you want. Ask it now. Everything.” He pressed my fingers to his lips, sucking and kissing the tips. “And even if I have to break my non-disclosure clause, I will tell you. We won’t leave this bed with secrets.”
“Did Greer come home last night?” I looked over his shoulder.
“Why?”
“Because I want coffee. And I’m hiding a fugitive in my bedroom.” Putting those two things together was absurd. “I don’t want to be interrupted. These are the most important questions of my life.”
He climbed from the bed. “I think you better check.”
He moved the chair from under the door handle. I pulled a robe over my shoulders and tip-toed into the living room. The door was locked. The lights were off. Her bedroom door was open. It didn’t look as if she had slept here.
I walked back to Vaughn. “No sign of her. I better send her a text to check.”
“I don’t want to drag her into this. You know that?”
I nodded, clutching my phone. “Let’s just see how much time we have.”
Last night time didn’t matter. I was willing to steal whatever remnants I could pluck together. This morning, that felt reckless and irresponsible. Safety mattered now. Thinking through everything was an instant priority. I had abandoned all rationality once his lips touched mine. What if Agent Kenneth called or stopped by before my trip to New Bern? What if he thought there was some kind of break in the case? What if somehow he knew Vaughn was here?
“You ok?” he looked at me.
“Yes.” I nodded. I had to settle one issue at a time. I pulled out my phone to text Greer.
Good date?
I sent the message. She would kill me if she knew I had reunited with my ex in the same way she and Preston must have last night.
The best.
“What did she say?” Vaughn tried to look at the screen.
“She stayed at Preston’s last night.”
Are you coming home soon?
Are you ok? I can if you need me.
I chewed on my lip. She had no idea how much I needed her to stay away.
No. I’m working on exams. Tell Pres I said hi.
See you maybe tomorrow.
I knew that bought us enough time to at least have a cup of coffee and go through this infamous list of questions Vaughn kept asking for.
I turned toward him.
“We’re set. We have some time. But I can’t promise she won’t be back tonight.”
“I understand.” He walked into the kitchen and reached for the coffee pot and filled it with water. “It’s not a problem.”
I didn’t know what that meant.
“What are you doing?” I asked, watching him comfortably move through the kitchen.
“Making you coffee. I think that was one of your stipulations.” He winked at me as he scooped the grounds into the filter.
None of this made sense. His cavalier attitude. His unstoppable sex appeal. My undying love for a man who had broken me in too many places to count.
I leaned against the bar. “I want to start asking questions now.”
“Go for it.” He pushed the red button on the machine.
I needed a damn notebook for this. I thought about the collection of notes Agent Kenneth had. Each time we met we covered a different topic. We had been talking for weeks. I was somehow supposed to put all of that into one conversation. And would it be enough? I didn’t know if Vaughn could answer all the questions I had. I expected them to be like an elixir full of healing serum.
“How do you know I’m not going to tell the bureau everything you tell me now?” It seemed to be the most critical aspect to his safety.
“Because I trust you.” He looked at me with a steady gaze.
I owed him the truth too. “I’ve already talked to them.” I didn’t expect to feel ashamed. I had betrayed our intimate conversations.
“It’s ok. I know. I know Agent Kenneth meets with you every day after work.”
My eyes widened. “How do you know that?”
“I haven’t been that far away.” He smiled sadly.
“You’ve been watching me?”
He nodded. “I wanted to know if you were ok. I wanted to make sure you weren’t hurt, physically,” he added. “I wanted to be next to you. To help you, but it was too risky. Just know I left because I had to. Not because I wanted to.”
“How long? How long have you been shadowing me?”
“You make it sound like I was a damn stalker. I was watching out for you.”
I glared at him. “Answer it.”
“I knew about the New Bern trip. About your brother. And when you came back and they took you into custody. I’ve been around ever since. I turned down two jobs so I could stick around.”
The coffee pot chugged with steam. Vaughn pulled two cups from the cabinet and placed a mug in front of me. He searched the fridge for creamer and set it on the side. I kept my smile hidden. He knew exactly how I liked my coffee.
I stirred it into my coffee. He had been here. When I was hurting the most—he was here.
“Maybe we should start at the beginning instead of going backward,” I decided.
“Whatever you want to do.” He walked around the bar and sat on the barstool next to me. He looked incredibly sexy with the slight stubble on his chin.
“How did you get into this line of work?” I held the hot mug in my hands.
“Good question.” He paused to drink his coffee. “I mentioned I had a previous job. A dangerous one. I was an operative in a Special Forces unit for five years. I made a lot of contacts during my time in the military. When I resigned I was approached by one of those contacts to join a company. Let’s call it Blackwing.”
“And Blackwing, your company, this is what they do? Steal information?”
“I like to think of it as getting the information into the hands of people who can do something important with it. But I don’t get into the politics of it. That’s not what I’m paid for.”
