I can’t believe how tousled I look when I see myself in the mirror. My face is all red and blotchy; I have to add some face makeup to lighten it up. I use his brush to straighten out my hair and then I add some lip gloss and smooth out my dress before grabbing my shoes and heading downstairs.
Cole is in the kitchen making sandwiches! I’m in love! He looks up from his work and gives me a heartbreaking smile.
“Did you know that sandwiches are my favorite thing in the whole world?” I ask him.
“I might have heard that somewhere,” he responds with a sly smile.
I grab one of the plates and sink my teeth into a sandwich half, groaning because it tastes so good. “Mm…,” I say with a mouthful of food. “Did you put horseradish in this?” He nods, watching me eat, grinning widely. “Oh, my God. This is…the…best…ever.”
“I’m glad you like it,” he finally lets the laugh out I know he’s been holding in.
“You know what? This is so flippin’ good, I don’t care if you laugh at me the whole time I eat,” I say taking another bite and rolling my eyes in pleasure as the flavors explode in my mouth.
With my mouth full I ask him, “How did you get those scars on your back?”
He looks down at his sandwich and shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t remember. I’ve had them for a long time.”
“They look pretty brutal,” I point out and see him pale. “What’s wrong?” I ask with concern. I’m afraid I’ve touched a subject that I should not have.
He gives me a small smile and some of the color returns to his face. “Nothing. Lexi, don’t ask me about them again.” I automatically shut my mouth and Cole turns the conversation to other things.
We spend the next hour talking about school, colleges, and my friends. I can’t stop thinking about his scars and every time I want to bring the subject back up, I can’t. The words I’m about to say leave my brain before I can put them into words and I keep forgetting what I was about to say.
Then, Cole starts to ask me about my parents. I tell him the story about my parents and then the story of Alex and I’s adoption. We have moved outside onto the lounge chairs, which we moved so they are right next to each other but one is turned around so we can face each other and talk while soaking up some vitamin D. He still has his shirt off and I am not immune yet so I keep my sunglasses on while I ogle away.
“Have you ever wondered who your birth parents are?” he asks with a curious expression on his face.
“It’s funny that you asked that,” I tell him. “I actually just spent the whole summer in the library and on the phone with the adoption agency but nothing.” I shrug and then lower my shoulders in defeat. “Either they aren’t allowed to release the information or they just don’t know. Everyone I talked to was really nice but they all told me they couldn’t help me. It was really frustrating.”
“I could help,” he says.
“No, I’m done looking. I made a promise to Alex that I would stop looking if I couldn’t find anything by the end of the summer.”
“Summer isn’t over yet,” he informs me.
“Might as well be,” I reply. “Seriously though, I don’t think I want to know anymore. Alex made some very valid points about the type of people they could be. I no longer think discovering my parents will be a good thing. I mean, they didn’t want us. So how good can they be?”
“Maybe they needed you to be brought up by different parents? Maybe their lives were too dangerous for you?” he says while staring me in the eyes like he is trying to divulge something important to me.
“Well, I guess we’ll never know,” I shrug my shoulder again. “Besides, the parents I do have are awesome. I love them more than I could love any other parents in the world,” I sing with my arms out, trying to lighten the depressing mood the conversation has brought on.
He laughs at me and I see that I did change the mood, prematurely though, because there is still something serious we need to discuss.
“So, where do we go from here?” I ask him.
He looks at me questioningly, “What do you mean? Us?” he asks. I nod my head once. He gives me a grin, telling me he wants to hear me spell it out for him. But I’m not going to play that game. I fold my arms over my chest in a defiant stance.
“I don’t know Alexis,” he huffs out. “I want to see more of you and be able to take you out but I don’t want to lose my job before I even start it.”
“Well, maybe, since we already know each other, prior to you starting the job… that rule will be null and void,” I say hopefully.
He shakes his head. “I don’t think it works that way.”
I stand up suddenly. I’m a little pissed off, more than a little pissed off, that he isn’t willing to have a little hope. I feel used. I feel like he is taking advantage of me. I want to straighten this out ASAP so I won’t be hurt later. I’m going to solve this dilemma now so he has no choice but to either be openly serious with me or to end this now.
“Where are you going?” Cole follows me to the backdoor and through the house.
“Home. I have things to think about and issues to solve,” I answer him.
“Are you mad at me?” he asks as I gather my purse, shoes, sweater and start piecing through all the scattered music sheets.
“Yes, I am,” I tell him harshly, making him flinch. I’m starting to realize that I have a real temper issue. I run hot one minute and then cold the next, in the blink of an eye.
“I’m sorry this can’t be different…” he starts.
“Me too. That’s why I’m going to make it different.” He starts to say something but I’m not finished talking. I push past him and to the door while I demand an answer from him. “Tell me, honestly,” I pause. “Do you want to see something come out of this?” I gesture between us.
“Yes,” is his single audible reply. But his eyes tell me he wants so much more.
“Okay,” is all I say before I open his front door and walk home.
Chapter 4
I walk into the house and scream out, “Mom! Are you home?”
Alex steps out of the living room with Kaitlyn right behind him. “Where have you been?” he asks me at the same time my mom calls from the kitchen, “In here.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I say to Alex while walking past him and Kaitlyn to go into the kitchen.
“Mom, I have to talk to you about something kind of important.” She’s cutting up some vegetables for dinner.
“What is it honey?” she asks. Alex and Kaitlyn come up behind me.
“Can I talk to you privately,” I make the point to Alex and Kaitlyn.
“Come on,” Kaitlyn says to Alex. “Let’s go finish the movie.” She takes his hand, pulling him back towards the living room while her face is bombarding me with questions.
Alex continues to stare at me, trying to get a read on my thoughts, as he lets Kaitlyn pull him away.
I turn back to my mom and drop my voice when I tell her, “You know the new neighbor, Cole?” I wait till she nods. “Well, we really hit it off last night. And I am talking total connection. And I really want to see where a relationship can go with him but… since he’s going to be a teacher at our school, he doesn’t want to ‘go public’ with a relationship with me. And I don’t know what to do,” I whine the last part. Hoping she has an answer I want to hear.
“What do you expect me to say? I think that if a relationship between you two will jeopardize his job then you guys need to cool it, for now. If you guys really ‘have a connection,’ then he’ll wait until you graduate. But I don’t think it’s wise to hide a relationship.” She sighs. I know she understands the dilemma and understands my frustration. “What do you expect me to do or say?”
“I don’t know. I was thinking that if we had you and dad’s permission to see each other than we can just keep it cool at school.”
“He seems like a decent person. I don’t particularly feel comfortable with him having his own house.” She pause
s. “But I do trust you when it comes to those things,” she implies about sex, “and if you guys can figure out a way to work around the other thing, then…you have our permission.”
“Thank you, mom!” I go around the counter to give her a big hug.
“I’m curious about something though,” she says when I let her go.
“Huh?” I walk back around the counter and sit on a stool, feeling relaxed enough now to actually be able to sit down.
“What’s the interest?” I give her a puzzled look. “I mean you were never serious about boys. I’ve never seen you so worked up about one before. So, what is it about him that suddenly wants you to date?” Her face breaks into a grin and she lowers her voice to ask, “Is it the forbidden part?”
“Mom!” I laugh at her tease. “I don’t know. We just have so much in common. He’s new,” I point out. “And he is devastatingly handsome.” I throw my hand up over my eyes for dramatics that has us both laughing like teenage girls.
“Can I come in now? Is the serious talk over? What are you guys laughing at?” Kaitlyn asks with a big grin on her face in response to our giddiness.
“Yeah, it’s over. Sorry,” I tell her.
“You know how little miss drama queen is,” mom tells her.
“So, what’s wrong?” Kaitlyn asks me.
“Nothing is wrong,” I say. “Everything is so right, right now.” I grab her hand and pull her back into the living room so I can share the news with her and Alex.
We sit on the couch next to Alex. Kaitlyn is eyeing me excitedly and Alex looks a little pissed off that he wasn’t welcome on the initial talk. His eyes are narrowed and he pretends to be focused on the movie, but I can tell he’s waiting to hear what me and mom were talking about.
“So…,” Kaitlyn says.
“So, I may be considering a relationship with someone new,” I tell her with a sheepish grin on my face.
“Oh, my gosh. I knew you and Ollie hit it off,” she says in a knowing way.
“It’s not Ollie,” Alex tells her with his eyes still on the television set.
Me and Kaitlyn stare at him. We are both wearing a confused expression on our faces but not for the same reason. Then, Kaitlyn says, “Oh,” as recollection comes to her. “Your new neighbor,” she looks a little disappointed. Obviously, Alex filled her in on our new acquaintance.
“But you just met him,” she says.
“And I just met Ollie too. You seemed happy when you thought it was him,” I tell her.
“Yeah, I guess. Sorry.” She gives me an apologetic smile. “I just haven’t met this other guy so it seems weird,” she admits.
I give her a little hug to show her I understand. “He’s great,” I say. “He loves music, astronomy, he’s really smart and…”
Alex cuts me off before I can continue, “He’s going to be the assistant teacher in the school’s music program.”
“What!” Kaitlyn exclaims. “You’re dating a teacher?”
“I don’t know,” I say, folding my arms and leaning back into the couch. I’m so mad at Alex for bursting my happy bubble.
“How old is this guy?” Kaitlyn asks.
“Nineteen,” Alex answers her before I have a chance to reply to the question that was directed to me.
I sit up tall and ask Alex, “What’s your problem, Alexander?”
Alex stands up and leans over Kaitlyn to get in my face. “My problem is you are going to get him in trouble. My problem is you already sneaking around to go see him. My problem is you keeping things from me. Is that really how you want to start a relationship?” Alex ticked off three of his fingers to make his list of points.
“Well, I didn’t have anything to tell you, yet,” I say as an excuse for myself.
“You’re being ridiculous, Alexis. You’re not even acting like yourself with him,” he spits the words at me.
Kaitlyn grabs Alex and pushes him away from my face. “Leave her alone Alex. Don’t be mean.”
He shrugs her hand off his arm and walks out of the room. Leaving me and Kaitlyn to watch him walk out the door.
*
Alex didn’t come back for dinner and Kaitlyn, who waited until after eating with us, finally went home. Mom and dad asked where he was but all I could tell them was he was mad at me and went out for awhile. He didn’t take our car so I assumed he went for a walk to the beach.
Around ten o’clock, Alex came home, barging into my bedroom while I laid in bed reading. He had a small apologetic smile on his face as he came over to sit on the edge of my bed.
“I’m sorry for getting upset with you earlier,” he tells me, or actually he tells the floor since he isn’t looking at me.
“I’m sorry too,” I say quietly, placing my hand on his arm so he will turn around and look at me. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But I didn’t know what to tell you. I mean, there’s still nothing to tell. I just met the guy.”
“You really like him though? I could tell last night. You were so, I don’t know, intimate. I guess that’s the best way to describe it,” Alex says.
“Honestly,” I laugh. “I feel like I want to be intimate with him,” I huff out some air. Not used to talking about this with Alex. “I can’t describe it.”
We sit in silence for awhile lost in our own thoughts before Alex admits, “I went over there tonight.”
“To Cole’s?” I ask with surprise written all over my face.
“Yeah.”
“And?”
“And, he really is a likable guy,” he smiles at me. His answer erases all the images that flew around my head of them fighting. I could just imagine Alex going over there and accusing Cole of playing games with my head and using me. “I went over there, angry. I’m sorry but you’re my sister. I didn’t want him to hurt you by playing games. I mean, he shouldn’t start something he doesn’t intend to own up to, you know?” It is as bad as I imagined. How embarrassing.
“Alex you shouldn’t have done that. Do you know how embarrassing that is, for me and Cole. My brother telling someone to man up. Great! Now I’ll never be able to face him. He probably thinks I told my whole family every detail of our day together.” I shake my head, feeling ashamed.
“It’s fine Lexi. It shows integrity. Something he needs to learn,” Alex mumbles.
“Yeah, that’s why I wanted to talk to mom. She doesn’t mind if I see him publicly. And I believe as long as we aren’t flirtatious at school, there won’t be a problem.”
“I agree,” Alex confides. Mr. ‘Never-break-the-rules.’ “And I told him that if he wanted to continue to see you, then it has to be openly. I don’t want you running over there every day.”
“Oh, I’m not. Trust me. I have a plan. I will not be going over there until he starts coming here. He needs to show me that he wants to start something with me.” Did we already start something? It seems like we did, but it’s too soon to tell.
“That’s the Lexi I know,” Alex smiles at me and then heads out the door and into his room.
*
The next day is spent lounging around the house. I catch up on some reading, take a soaking bath, and even take a nap. Anything to keep myself away from Cole. However, no matter what I do I can’t stop thinking about him. It's like ‘they’ always say, the more you try to avoid thinking about something, the more it stares you in the face, or something like that. All day I wonder when he will come over, if he will come over.
When my mom comes home later that day she comes into my room while I’m reading and asks me how it went with Cole today.
“It didn’t,” I tell her. She gives me a questioning look. “I didn’t see him today.”
“Lexi, life is too short to sit around and wait for something to happen. You need to go over there and make something happen. Go talk to him,” she coaxes me.
“One day isn’t going to kill anyone.” She gives me a disgruntled look and I sigh. “Look, the way I left yesterday wasn’t on good terms. And though I felt excited and relieved
after talking to you last night… it still didn’t help with the fact that he told me he couldn’t see me. So, I’m not going to go over there. I would rather wait to see if he makes any promising attempts. And if he doesn’t…” I shrug. “Then, I’m going to stick to my original intentions and wait till I meet someone in college.”
“Okay,” she tells me. “If your mind is made up about this then that’s what you’ll do but I better not see you sulk around the house for weeks before you get over it.”
I promise her that I won’t and she leaves the room so I can get back to my book. I have a plan that will be implemented tomorrow.
*
The next morning I tell Alex to start calling the gang so we can all hang out and have an ‘end of the summer’ party. Really, I just want to make Cole jealous. See if he comes out to play when he sees a big crowd at the house. And… if that doesn’t work, then maybe it will get my mind off him.
I call the girls while checking the fridge for food supplies for the party, taking inventory of things I need to run to the store for. Alex is outside checking the chemical levels of the pool and cleaning it out from all the leaves that have accumulated in the past couple days.
While I’m writing down a list consisting of hamburgers, hotdogs, drinks and chips, Alex comes in and asks me, “Should I invite Cole? He would have to come here?”
“No.” I tell him a little too sternly. “I don’t want to think about him today,” I say while grabbing my purse and heading out the door. “Be back in a few,” I call out at the same time I hear him say, “Oooo-kay.” I don’t know if it’s in response to me leaving or to not wanting Cole to come over.
As I pull out of the driveway I see Cole walking out his door. I quickly look forward toward the street and pretend I didn’t see him. Even though I might pretend that I don’t care, honestly, I’m wondering if he was about to head over to the house. I continue to the store, finish the shopping and am back home in an hour. When I get home, Alex comes into the garage to help me bring everything inside.
Lunangelique (The Lunangelique Series) Page 4
