by M. Ullrich
“I’ll be the judge of that tomorrow night.” Chloe tapped their beer bottles together.
Step Fifteen
Don’t Hesitate to Let Loose
Genevieve stared out the car window at Harper’s house. Every light was on and people filled the main rooms. She was looking, but she wasn’t really seeing. She was imagining the possible conversations and confrontations that could take place, preparing answers and appropriate comebacks should she need them.
“If I had known we’d be sitting in the car all night,” Chloe said, “I would’ve worn pajamas instead of a dress.”
“Don’t rush me.”
“Well, I’m going.” Chloe opened her car door and got out.
Genevieve grabbed her small clutch and tightened the scarf around her neck, catching up to Chloe just as she pushed the doorbell.
“Chloe! What the hell?” Genevieve shoved her friend just enough to make Chloe wobble and laugh.
“Like you were planning on leaving the car!”
Genevieve rolled her eyes. “You are such a pain in my—”
The door opened and Dana smiled at her. “Gen. Come in! Everyone else is already here.” Dana ushered Genevieve and Chloe inside, taking their coats and stowing them in a closet along the way.
Chloe leaned into Genevieve and asked in a whisper, “This is Dana? I thought you said she’s a robot.”
“She is,” Genevieve insisted, “at least at work she is. I’ve never seen her in a social setting.” They followed Dana into Harper’s large, open kitchen, running into Genevieve’s friends from work, all gathered by the glass doors looking out into the backyard.
“Genevieve Applegate!” Matthew shouted and waved her over.
“Hey, guys,” Genevieve said shyly. Parties weren’t usually her thing, but having Chloe around helped her relax. She looked at Maxine and the short blonde standing close to her side. “Maxine, is this the infamous Connie?” Genevieve smiled politely.
“Guilty,” Connie said and reached out to take Genevieve’s hand. “You must be Genevieve. Maxine said you were from Pennsylvania and that it showed.”
Genevieve grinned. “And what exactly does that mean?”
“You’re the purest definition of the girl next door,” Maxine said. “There’s not many country-looking women in this area.”
“Or natural strawberry-blondes,” Matthew said with a wink. He pointed to Genevieve’s black dress, long-sleeved and knee-length with a lace overlay that showed skin everywhere but from bust to knee. “Looking good, by the way. This is much better than the prudish outfits you wear to work.”
Genevieve’s sarcastic retort was on the tip of her tongue when Chloe cleared her throat. Remembering her manners, Genevieve introduced her friend. “This is my very best friend, Chloe, and she has been dying to meet you all.” She pushed Chloe forward gently. While Chloe shook each hand and exchanged pleasantries, Clarissa walked up with an attractive woman on her arm.
“Doing introductions without me?” Clarissa said with a cocky smile.
“If it hadn’t taken you fifteen minutes to get a drink, we wouldn’t have,” Matthew said.
Clarissa stared at Chloe. “And who is this?”
“I’m Chloe,” she said, squaring her shoulders, “and you must be Clarissa.”
Clarissa’s mouth turned up at the corner, and she looked at the woman by her side. “Alison, these are my coworkers.” Clarissa introduced everyone by name and looked at Chloe again. “Are you the friend Gen was in love with for so long?”
“I am.” Chloe wrapped her arm around her waist and pulled Genevieve closer. “And I’m still mad at myself for not reciprocating. Gen’s hot.”
“So are you,” Clarissa said.
“You should probably focus on your date.” Chloe nodded toward Alison.
Genevieve laughed outright. She waited for a sarcastic quip from Clarissa, but it never came. Instead, Clarissa smirked at Harper standing just behind at the kitchen counter, an odd look on her face.
“I guess she’s just as surprised by you bringing a date as we are,” Clarissa said quietly enough for only Genevieve and Chloe to hear.
“Ignore her,” Chloe said. “I think it’s time for me to finally meet Harper.”
As they approached Harper, Genevieve took in her appearance. She wore charcoal dress pants and a burgundy sweater like no one else. An irrational sense of pride swelled in Genevieve’s chest. Harper wasn’t hers to be proud of, but introducing Chloe to her when she looked this good was incredibly satisfying.
“Harper,” Genevieve said, “this is my best friend, Chloe. Chloe, this is my boss, Harper.”
“Nice to finally meet you,” Chloe said.
Harper cocked her head. “Finally? Has Genevieve been talking about me?” Harper’s question was mostly directed to Genevieve, but Chloe answered nonetheless.
“She talks about you—”
“And the magazine and work a lot,” Genevieve said. Harper hummed in understanding, but Genevieve saw the amusement shining in her light eyes.
“Are you two old friends?”
Chloe laughed. “Very old friends. We’ve been best friends since Milan Elementary.”
Harper smiled and excused herself, claiming she had more guests to tend to. Genevieve watched Harper walk away with a forlorn expression.
“What was that about?”
“They all think I’m in love with you. Harper does too.” Genevieve shook her head and looked around for where the drinks were being hidden. She desperately needed one now. “Matthew asked me if I had ever fallen for a friend and I said yes and it was you, and Harper heard me.” Genevieve huffed. “Another lie!”
“And here I thought we were living a true, unrequited love story.” Genevieve shot Chloe a stern glare. “Sorry, back to Harper.” They watched as Harper disappeared into a room just off the dining room. “You said she was attractive, and you weren’t kidding. She’s gorgeous. She’s really sexy, too.”
Genevieve frowned.
“Well, go and clear this up!” Chloe shoved Genevieve toward the dining room.
“I don’t want to leave you.”
“Please, I’ll be fine on my own. I’ll probably have two new best friends by the time you get back from canoodling.”
“Fine.” Genevieve took a deep breath, steadying her nerves.
After keeping her distance for some time and now appearing quite cozy with a supposed “old flame,” she was afraid this would be the final nail in the coffin of their relationship. Genevieve never expected her flippant lie about Chloe to have such repercussions. Genevieve raised her shaking hand and knocked on the door before cracking it open.
Harper sat behind a large desk. Her home office was almost a carbon copy of the office she occupied at Out Shore, except this space felt much more intimate. Genevieve smiled at Harper shyly as she closed the door behind her. She swallowed dryly. “Working during your own party?”
“Not really.” Harper pushed away from the desk. “Just enjoying the quiet. I’m not much of a party person.”
“Me either.” She needed to bite the bullet and just talk. “Harper, I just wanted to explain. Chloe isn’t—”
Harper stood and held up her hand. “You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“I do. At least I hope I do, I think there’s a reason why I should…” Genevieve’s heart started to thunder in her chest as she stepped closer to Harper. “Everyone was talking about falling in love. I’m just a girl from Small Town, USA. I didn’t have anything juicy to share, so I made it up. Chloe and I have been best friends since the first grade, platonic best friends.”
“You don’t have to lie to fit in around here, especially not with me,” Harper said softly, unknowingly twisting the knife of guilt in Genevieve’s chest. “I apologize for thinking the worst,” she said, licking her lips and crossing her arms over her chest. “Genevieve, I have a hard time trusting my feelings. You—this is a first for me in a long time.”
“What do you
mean?” Genevieve said.
“I was married once.”
“M-married?”
“Till death do us part, and I was crazy about her. She was everything I thought I wanted in a wife.” Harper’s head fell back, and she stared at the ceiling as she laughed wryly. “We were together for two years before my uncle died, and then I was grief-stricken and in charge of this magazine suddenly. The rest of my life was moving forward, and I wanted my relationship to as well. We had a great wedding and an even better honeymoon. We settled into life as a married couple and it didn’t seem like anything had changed. But as it turned out, we were both completely different people.” When Harper looked at Genevieve again, her normally bright eyes were dull and misty.
“What happened?”
Harper’s shoulders fell sadly. “She wasn’t ready to get married, to make that kind of commitment to one person, but she didn’t know how to turn down my proposal. I’m sure you could imagine how hard it is to say no to someone who’s grieving.” Harper swallowed harshly and cleared her throat. “We were married for less than two months before the fighting became nonstop, and less than six before she cheated on me.”
“Harper, I am so sorry.” Genevieve placed her hand on Harper’s arm.
“For the longest time I was afraid of getting close to someone again, to invest those kind of feelings in another person. I didn’t trust my judgment after that,” she said in a gravelly voice. “But how I reacted in there? And this feeling I have in the pit of my stomach every time I’m around you? I think it’s time.”
Genevieve was floored. Her heart was racing, pumping excitement through her limbs. She vibrated with happiness and amazement that Harper felt the same way. She hadn’t imagined the chemistry between them. Clarity and certainty washed over her. She could still lead with her heart, but her life would be nothing but the truth from now on.
“Harper, I need you to know—”
A sharp knock at the door echoed through the room. Genevieve stepped away from Harper, irritated at the interruption.
“Harper?” Matthew hollered through the door. “Do you have more white wine?”
“Yes. I’ll bring some out in a minute.” Harper looked at Genevieve. “I’m being a terrible host. I guess we should get back to the party.”
“I have so much to tell you,” Genevieve said, not bothering to hide her irritation.
“There’s always time to talk, but there’s only one Christmas party here a year.” Harper placed a gentle hand low on Genevieve’s back and escorted her from the room.
They walked just into the large doorway of the kitchen, then Matthew stopped them with a loud wolf whistle. When Genevieve turned back to Matthew, he pointed to the mistletoe hanging above them.
“Huh,” Harper said as she looked up, her mouth slightly agape. “I forgot I put that there.” She looked at Genevieve with a mischievous glint in her eye. Genevieve was sure Harper was lying, but the rest of the crowd started to egg them on. When Harper shrugged, Genevieve stepped forward.
Genevieve stood flush against her and placed her hands high on Harper’s chest. She looked into her eyes and then at her full glistening lips. She didn’t give a damn that she was about to kiss Harper in front of her peers, she just needed to taste her for the first time.
Harper leaned in close enough for the tip of her nose to graze Genevieve’s. Harper’s breath ghosted across her mouth, and Genevieve licked her lips in anticipation. Genevieve closed the small distance between them, pressing her lips against Harper’s.
Genevieve marveled at the softness of her mouth as their lips melded. What amazed her more was how Harper was soft everywhere: her lips, her skin, and the way she held Genevieve’s waist with gentle assertion. She forgot about the prying eyes surrounding them, and she parted her lips, wanting so badly to deepen the kiss. But Harper pecked her and pulled away. Genevieve slowly opened her eyes, Harper scratching the back of her neck bashfully. The sound of glass shattering in the distance pulled her completely from her daze.
“Well, well…” Matthew said as he walked past them and sipped his wine.
“Let me go check on that, and we’ll talk. I promise.” Harper winked and ran off toward the sound of the accident.
Genevieve stood frozen, unsure as to whether the kiss had happened or if she had imagined it, but Chloe’s broad grin clued Genevieve into the reality and the enormity of it.
“You need to talk to Jeremy.”
Genevieve’s glee turned grim quickly.
Step Sixteen
Out with the Old
The guilt Genevieve felt at fleeing Harper’s Christmas party immediately after their kiss was nothing compared to the guilt that had been haunting her for months. She had been lying to Harper day after day, falling for someone while she was in a committed relationship with Jeremy. Sneaking out of a party without saying good-bye was the least of her worries. Genevieve knew she had to make a change. When Harper texted her the morning after the party, she explained she was heading back to Pennsylvania for a couple of days.
She drove mile after mile, heavy snowflakes falling onto her windshield in intermittent showers. Genevieve hated driving in the snow. She had once loved the magical feel of it, the way she could imagine traveling through space at warp speed. But after hearing one too many horror stories, Genevieve was afraid of slick conditions and potential accidents. Why couldn’t she be that cautious with other aspects of her life?
Genevieve pulled up in front of Jeremy’s small home. He had been renovating the place, but much like everything else in Jeremy’s life, he worked very slowly at it. His truck was in the driveway so Genevieve knew he was likely home, which relieved and terrified her.
She had no idea what to say. She had no real experience with breakups, and since they hadn’t been speaking regularly, Genevieve wasn’t even sure how she should approach the topic. Were they still together? Genevieve was unsure of everything except that she needed to end it with Jeremy so she could work toward a beginning with Harper. Genevieve was willing to do anything just to kiss Harper again without guilt weighing her down.
Genevieve quickly noted the difference in the air as she exited her car. The breeze was devoid of the salty tang she was now used to, and she missed its taste. She jogged up the front steps and held her puffy nylon jacket tight around her. It must’ve been ten to fifteen degrees colder in this part of Pennsylvania, and the chill matched Genevieve’s own bitterness. She knocked even though she had a key, in spite of the fact that this house was supposed to be the one they shared after holy matrimony.
Jeremy’s footsteps were heavy as he approached the door. He swung it open with a disgruntled frown. “Gen?” Confusion riddled his bearded face. His appearance was more unkempt than usual, something that happened when Genevieve wasn’t around him for a few days.
“Hey, Jeremy,” Genevieve said awkwardly. They stared at one another for a few moments before a gust of wind whipped around Genevieve. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah! Of course!” Jeremy stepped aside and ushered Genevieve in. “I’m sorry, I was just so surprised to see you. I didn’t think you were coming home until tomorrow.”
Genevieve removed her jacket and placed it across the arm of the couch. “I should’ve called.”
“I love surprises.” Jeremy wrapped his arms around her. “I get to see you for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Best surprise ever.” He leaned down and kissed her softly.
Genevieve wanted to pull back immediately, feeling a sense of betrayal toward Harper, which was telling since she hadn’t even thought of Jeremy during her mistletoe kiss. Genevieve stayed in the embrace, searching her memory for a time when Jeremy elicited a feeling like Harper did. She came up empty.
Genevieve pulled back and smiled, but the curl of her lips was closer to a grimace. “I came by because we need to talk.” Genevieve rolled her eyes at her own cliché. “I want to talk about not talking.”
“You want to talk about not talking?” Jeremy sat heavily
on the sofa, his basketball shorts riding high on his hairy thighs.
Genevieve was already getting irritated. One sentence in, and she was struggling with how to say what she was feeling. She sat beside him stiffly. “We haven’t been talking at all.”
“You’ve been busy.”
Genevieve was taken aback. “I never said that.”
“You didn’t have to. Every time I called, you barely had time to talk, and you’d always call late at night. We’d be half asleep. We didn’t do any talking then.” Jeremy was right. That’s exactly how the majority of phone calls were since she had moved to New Jersey.
“I guess what I’m about to say won’t be a surprise, then.” Genevieve waited, hoping Jeremy would know where this conversation was going. She didn’t want to play a guessing game, but she didn’t want to say the words either. She nervously pulled the cuffs of her long-sleeved thermal over her hands as she waited.
It took a few moments, but realization slowly dawned on Jeremy’s face. He sat forward, leaning a bit closer to Genevieve in the process. “Gen, do you—I mean…” He cleared his throat and shook his head. When he looked at Genevieve again, he wore a broad smile. “Do you want to get married?”
Genevieve’s mouth fell open. “What?”
“Are you ready to get married? Is that it? Because I’m ready, Gen. I have been.”
“No, that’s not it.” Genevieve pinched the bridge of her nose. She was sure this couldn’t get any harder, but it had.
“Are you moving home? Don’t feel bad about that. It’s hard for a lot of people to make it on their own.” Jeremy took Genevieve’s hand, and that contact sparked her irritation into full-blown anger. Her life didn’t revolve around Jeremy. It never did, and it never would.
“No!” She pulled back and straightened her shoulders. “It’s neither, Jeremy. I came here because I think it’s time for us to end whatever it is that’s still going on between us.”
