“Harper, you’ve been a doctor since you were, well since you were what in your early thirties? You’ve seen patients in my country that you were unable to save.”
Harper nodded.
“You’ve seen patients right here in the states that have died too. That’s part of being a doctor, and part of being a surgeon too, especially a cardiologist. You can’t save everybody. So I guess I don’t understand why this patient’s death has had such an effect on you. I know it can’t be easy when a person dies on your watch, but I’m just saying you know it can happen and that it has happened.”
“Yes, and you’re right, and when it does it still hurts just as much as it hurt the first time I had a patient to die. The sadness you feel never diminishes.”
This time, Eva reached over and placed her hand gently on top of Harper’s and lightly massaged it with the tips of her fingers. It was her way of letting him know that she understood.
“Anyway, what is it that you wanted to tell me?”
Eva pulled her hand away. Clearing her throat, she said, “I went to see my gynecologist the other day so he could tell me exactly how far along I am.”
Harper appeared uneasy as he shifted his weight in his chair. He nervously took several bites of his food, followed by a swallow of tea. “What does this have to do with me?”
“I took three at home pregnancy tests and they were all positive. I haven’t had a period for the last two months other than some spotting.”
“I don’t want to listen to any more of this, Eva. I get it. You’re pregnant with another man’s kid. Why aren’t you having this talk with him?”
Eva didn’t address Harper. Instead she continued talking. “The doctor did an ultrasound scan on me. I have several cysts that he wants to surgically remove. It would be same day surgery, and he’ll perform a biopsy on the cysts just to make sure they’re not malignant.”
“Which they probably aren’t,” said Harper. “Did you come to Adverse City General?”
“No, the doctor’s office was located somewhere else, but I’ll have the surgery procedure at Adverse City General. Anyway, as I was saying, the doctor did an ultrasound scan.” Eva stopped and looked at Harper.
“What is it?” Harper asked, seeing the uneasiness in her eyes and hearing it in her voice. “Is your baby all right?”
“I’m not pregnant, Harper.”
“You’re not pregnant?” he sounded confused.
“No. I’m not pregnant,” she restated as her eyes cast downward.
Harper looked at her then slowly spoke. “I don’t know what to say, Eva. I’m…I’m sorry you lost your baby. I know it wasn’t mine, but I also know how much you wanted a child. I’m really sorry.”
“Harper, I didn’t lose the baby.” She paused momentarily before speaking up again. “I never was pregnant.”
“What?”
“I said, I was never pregnant.”
“What do you mean? Is this some kinda joke?”
“No. It’s nothing like that. The doctor said the cysts are what probably caused me to have the false positive pregnancy results. But long story short, I’m not pregnant, so there.” Eva turned away from Harper so he wouldn’t see that she was fighting back her tears. She quickly stood up, tossed her cloth napkin on the table, and walked into the hotel suite.
Harper gave her a minute before he got up and went to find her. She wasn’t in the living room or kitchen. He found her in her bedroom standing in front of the mirror coifing her hair. How strange was that, but he knew Eva confronted hurt in an entirely different manner from the typical person.
“Eva, I’m sorry,” Harper told her in the most sincere tone he could muster.
She continued styling her hair. “That’s it. That’s what I had to tell you. So anyway, I think it’s time you leave. I’ll put your food in a container that you can take home with you. Oh, and you don’t have to worry about bringing it back,” she laughed nervously as she turned away from the mirror to walk past him.
Harper grabbed her by her arm. “Stop it, Eva. You don’t have to hide your hurt from me. I know that was hard to hear. After everything you went through to get pregnant.”
Eva looked at him with pain streaked eyes. “What do you mean by everything I went through to get pregnant?”
“I mean you knew how I felt about having kids. And you’re a young woman, much younger than me. I wasn’t at home much. And after thinking about everything, I realized how could I blame you for your infidelity. You were lonely and you were vulnerable. And when you did discover that you were pregnant, well when you thought you were pregnant, naturally you would say the baby was mine.”
Eva’s Bolivian temper slowly simmered inside. “The nerve of you, you self-righteous prick,” she yelled. “You think that you’re so perfect, but you’re a long way from perfect, Harper. You’re selfish and you’re conceited. You think everything is about you. You don’t care how I’m doing. Not once have you shown any real concern for me as your wife. You’re standing here talking about my infidelity when you, you were the man of my dreams. I loved you, and yes, one time, one time, Harper,” Eva ranted while raising one finger in his face, “I had a moment of weakness. I’m sorry. So sorry that I did that. But I never ever meant to deceive you. I honestly thought the child was yours, but you, you never planned to have a child with me. You married me knowing full well how badly I wanted a child. We talked about it. You promised me over and over that we would have a baby when all the time you knew that it would never happen. You deceived me. You’re an evil, mean person, Harper Stenberg,” Eva cried. “Why, why did you even marry me? Why, oh, God why.” She was inconsolable now as tears rushed from her eyes and poured down her cheeks like a rainstorm.
Harper grabbed her and held her in his arms against her will.
Eva fought against him as hard as she could until she was able to get out of his grasp. “I want you out of here,” she told him. “You can have the divorce papers drawn up. I don’t want anything you have. I just want out of this,” she screamed. “How could you ever say that you loved me? How?”
“Eva, you’re right about me. I’m so sorry. Sweetheart, I was wrong. God forgive me for deceiving you. I planned on having the vasectomy reversed but then you came and told me that you were having a child, my child? All hell broke loose in my mind. I thought how could she do me this way. How could you of all people betray me, Eva? I’m just as hurt as you are. Believe me when I tell you that I didn’t set out to trick you. I didn’t set out to fall in love with you, Eva, but I did. You were so beautiful, so kind, and so sweet. And believe me, baby, I loved you then and I still love you. But we can make this work, Eva. Believe me, baby. You can come home and we can work this out. I forgive you, honey. I really do forgive you,” Harper pleaded.
“You? Forgive me? You’ve got to be kidding me. Get out, Harper. Please, just go,” she begged, still sobbing and ran off into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.
Chapter 11
“When an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate.” Carl Jung
The scheduled day for Carlton and Liam’s DNA test had arrived. Carlton entered Peyton’s attorney’s office and was met by Derek and Liam. He looked around for Peyton but she wasn’t there.
“What’s up, man,” Carlton said to Derek.
“Hello, Reverend Porter. Glad you could make it,” Derek said with mild sarcasm.
“Hello, young man.”
Liam in turn looked at Carlton like he was totally confused about the whole situation, which he probably was.
Carlton looked at Liam like he was seeing him for the first time, and now that he looked at the kid, really looked at him, he didn’t see an iota of resemblance between himself and the teen. Not that it was a requirement for him to look like him, but Carlton just made an unspoken observation.
“Hello, sir,” Liam said in a reserved and mannerable tone.
Carlton returned his focus on Derek. “Is your wife coming?” h
e asked.
“I don’t think so. I spoke to her briefly this morning. She said everything was arranged and it shouldn’t take more than a few minutes to have the test administered. Her attorney is bringing in a third party to administer the DNA tests just to assure that everything is carried out legally.”
“I understand. I want to thank you and her for making this as discreet as possible. Going to juvenile court would have assured a media circus, something I don’t want and frankly, something I don’t want this young man to have to face.”
Derek agreed with a nod and Liam kept his eyes glued to his phone.
“You all can make yourselves comfortable,” the receptionist came out and said to them. “Everything will be ready in about ten minutes. Would you like something to drink while you wait?” she asked.
“Nothing for me,” Derek stated then turned and looked at Liam. “What about you, Son?”
“No, Dad and thank you ma’am,” the boy said politely.
Carlton showed his palm and shook his head, “Me neither, but thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she said and disappeared behind the closed door.
“Do you mind if I talk to Liam? It won’t take but a minute,” Carlton asked Derek.
“That’s up to Liam.”
“What do you say, Liam. Can we talk outside for a minute?”
Liam nodded and the both of them stood up and walked outside.
“Look, Liam, I don’t know how much you know about everything that’s going on, but.”
“No disrespect, Reverend Porter, but you’re not my father. The man in there,” he pointed toward the glass front door, “is my dad. I don’t care what some test says. All this stuff my mom, and you have put me through is so confusing,” the wise teen confessed.
“I know, and I’m sorry that you’re having to go through all of this. But I want you to know if the DNA says that you are my biological son, I’m going to be here for you. I’ll take care of you and provide adequately for you the same way I do for my other sons. By the way, which means you’ll have four younger brothers to deal with,” Carlton said jokingly.
Liam smiled. “Yeah, I know. I already know them from church and school.”
“And I also want you to know that I won’t try to separate you or take you away from your parents. But I would love to have a relationship with you if it turns out that you’re my kid.”
Liam looked at Carlton. A sheepish, childlike look took over his face in place of the strong, standoffish demeanor he displayed when they initially came outside.
“I’m not here to cause you to be any more confused than you already are. I know it’s already a lot for you to take in.”
Liam remained quiet.
“Do you understand me, Liam?”
“Yes, I understand. Is that it?” the teen asked.
“Yes, that’s it,” Carlton replied and watched as the young man turned around and went back inside the attorney’s office.
Carlton remained outside. He removed his phone from off its clip and texted Peyton. “You coming for the DNA test?”
Within a few seconds, Peyton responded. “No, decided it’s best if I don’t. Was about to text you. I just texted Derek to let him know I won’t be there. Don’t want to upset Liam. He’s still not ready to see me,” she said.
“Understood,” Carlton replied.
Carlton went back inside the office and waited until the three of them were called to the back. The receptionist was right; it only took a few minutes for the DNA test to be administered, but the outcome of the test would result in a lifetime of changes for them all, but especially for Liam.
“We’ll have the test results in two weeks,” the tester explained in the presence of the attorney.
“Our office will contact you when they come in,” the attorney said.
“Thanks,” Derek said, standing and shaking the attorney’s hand followed by Carlton repeating the same gesture.
As they walked outside to their respective cars, Derek passed the keys to Liam. “Son, you can go to the car if you’d like. Oh, and get on the driver’s side. It’s the perfect time to practice your driving if you want to get that license,” Derek told him.
“For real? Thanks , Dad.” Liam’s face immediately brightened and he ran to the car.
“Just don’t leave me. I’ll be there in a minute,” Derek said, laughing as he proudly watched the boy go to the car.
“Look, I just wanted to hang back and talk to you a minute. Not as my pastor but man to man.”
“Certainly,” said Carlton.
“That boy is my kid.”
Carlton nodded in agreement.
“I’ve raised him, provided for him, loved him, watched out for him. You know what I mean?”
“I do,” Carlton answered.
“So I guess what I’m saying is if this DNA says that he is your kid, then I hope things won’t change for me and Liam. I don’t want a bunch of mess. The kid has been through enough already. He has to learn how to forgive Peyton and he has to learn how to forgive his birth mother, even though she’s forever gone. If you’re his father, I know you’re going to want a relationship with him. That’s understandable.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that. It’s primarily the same thing I was telling Liam when we talked. I wanted him to know that I wasn’t going to interfere with you and his relationship but that, by the same token, I’m going to want to be part of his life.”
“Just as long as we got that straight. My focus is on that boy over there,” Derek said, pointing toward his car where Derek was patiently waiting.
“Same here. You’re a fine man, Derek,” Carlton told him. “Liam is blessed to have you as his father.”
“Thanks, man. Guess we’ll know what’s what soon.”
“Until then, you be blessed,” Carlton extended his hand and the two men shook hands then gave each other dap.
Chapter 12
“You may tell the greatest lies and wear a brilliant disguise, but you can't escape the eyes of the one who sees right through you.” Tom Robbins
Meesha’s pregnancy was going without issue but she had made up her mind that she was going to have her tubes tied after this child was born. She discussed it with Carlton and he agreed. Whether he had agreed or not, she had resolved within herself to go through with it. As of now, their marriage was basically back intact, but she still did not feel all the way comfortable about the future of their marriage. She didn’t want to believe that she and Carlton would experience something again like they’d just gone through but if they did, having five children to raise as a single parent would be trying enough without the possibility of getting pregnant with a sixth. No way. So getting her tubes tied was just a precautionary measure she was willing to take and anyway, five kids was already a village, a village that didn’t need expanding.
She loved her sons and she enjoyed being a mother, but unlike most mothers with a family the size of hers, Meesha had Yulisa, the nanny. She didn’t have to handle the boys on her own. Yulisa was always available and at her beck and call. But all of that could quickly change if she and Carlton ever split.
Dismissing the thoughts about the future of her marriage, she turned her thoughts back to making sure the boys were dressed and ready.
“Boys, hurry up. We can’t be late for this appointment,” she told them. Malik, Marlon, Micah, CJ, to the car,” she ordered.
“Carlton, don’t forget your phone. You’re about to walk out and leave it,” she told him. “Look, it’s over there
on the edge of the sofa,” she said, pointing in the family room.
“Thanks, babe.” Carlton went into the family room and retrieved his phone. “I’m ready. Let’s do this,” he said.
They climbed into the family’s Suburban, the vehicle they used when they went on family outings.
The boys were excited about going with their parents to find out the gender of the baby. With every pregnancy, learning the gender of the baby beca
me a family event. Afterwards, they would go out to eat, which was the icing on the cake for the boys.
“Remember, boys, no matter if it’s a boy or a girl, this new edition to our family will be a blessing from God,” Meesha told them.
“I want a sister,” CJ said.
“I want another brother,” both Marlon and Micah said.
“I want to go out to eat,” Malik said, gruffly.
Driving to the doctor’s office, Carlton detached himself from the chatter going on inside the car. He concentrated instead on suppressing his shameful thoughts and haunting memories but it proved futile.
Meesha being pregnant with their fifth child gave him a sense of both excitement and dread. It reminded him of his betrayal with Avery. Then his mind went around and around with thoughts of Avery. If Meesha ever found out that he had cheated on her with Avery that would be the end of it all.
At one time, he thought maybe, just maybe he was done with his marriage and that he was ready to start over with Avery. Whatever could he have been thinking to arrive at that conclusion? Was it because sex with Avery was out of this world and she did things in the bedroom that Meesha wouldn’t dare consider. Or maybe it was because his affair with Avery would wash away the other sins of his past that Carlton felt were far worse.
He was glad that he had confided in Kingston about the affair. Kingston had always been able to make him see the error of his ways and talk some sense into him.
Carlton suppressed the rumbling anger and disgust he felt. He had given in to his flesh time and time again and his flesh betrayed him every time. He told himself that he was evil, wicked, a hypocrite, a farce, a wolf in sheep’s clothing – and he despised himself for being so weak and so….human.
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