She studied the cube. “Is that a weapon, too?”
He nodded. “Once we get to Hinterland, I’ll show you how to use it.”
She bumped the suitcase with her toe. “And what’s that?”
“It’s a vehicle. It can carry us a lot faster than a coach, but I can’t deploy it until we get underground.”
“A vehicle! In that?”
He chuckled. “Now do you understand why I don’t want Dax finding out about all that? He wouldn’t be able to keep his mitts out of it.”
Raleigh had to laugh. He was right. Now that she knew it was there, insatiable curiosity drew her toward that chamber. She wanted to look at and find out about everything in it. Dax would find the temptation irresistible.
Bishop collected a slew of the things and dumped them into Raleigh’s hands. “Take these. They’re the only weapons that work in a place like Hinterland. We’re gonna see things you’ve never seen before and we’ll have to kill them. Flint lock pistols and crossbows won’t touch them.”
“But I don’t even know how to use these weapons,” she protested.
“I’ll show you.”
“You won’t be able to show me while we’re in the middle of killing those things,” she pointed out.
He shook his head. “I can’t show you everything right now. You’ll just have to learn on the hoof.”
She hefted the cube. “At least show me how to use this one.”
He took it out of her hand. He turned it over. “Do you see these lines? Each intersecting line stands for a different weapon. It can fire lasers, it can fire photon cannons, it can even fire lightning. You just have to push the right button.”
“I don’t see any buttons.”
“The button is the square right next to the intersecting lines. You push the button, and the weapon goes off. Just make certain you keep your finger out of the way of the deployment aperture, or you’ll lose a hand.”
Raleigh couldn’t take her eyes off the thing. “Can you use a different language so I know what the devil you’re trying to say?”
He laughed and pressed the cube back into her hand. “I wasn’t expecting to find an apprentice I would ever have to explain this stuff to. You’re the first, and I don’t have time to explain everything right now. You’ll learn. You’ll learn the same way I did and every other slayer has learned. You’ll fight, and you’ll discover which weapons work in which situations.”
“If I live, you mean.”
He turned away. “Oh, you’ll live, all right. You’ll live to make me regret I ever met you.”
He lugged his suitcase out of the room before she could answer. Now what did he mean by that? She already knew. She had his button, and now she knew the secret of all those mysterious weapons. She knew more about him than anybody.
She examined the cube for a long time, but she made sure not to touch any of the buttons. The thing radiated danger and unseen power up her arm. It could go off at any moment with no help from her.
At last, she stuck it in her pocket. She squirreled all the other weapons around her person the way Bishop did. She was turning into a paranoid eccentric just like him.
She went back to his office to find him folding up the picture of the twen’s necklace and sliding it into his shirt pocket. He set the helmet on the shelf over his work table and rolled his desk chair back into place. “You better go downstairs and have something to eat before we leave. Just remember—not a word to anybody. Don’t let Dax know we’re going, or he’ll try to follow us.”
She drifted out of the room and down the stairs. His words hung heavy on her mind. The farther she went into this apprenticeship, the better she understood his attitude toward Dax.
She would have no trouble keeping this secret from the boy. If Dax knew half of what Bishop was up to, he wouldn’t care what orders Bishop gave him to turn back or stay out of the way. He would have to follow. Burning curiosity ate Dax up from the inside, the same way it ate up Bishop and Raleigh. He couldn’t keep away from Hinterland if he tried. The only way to protect him was to keep him in the dark.
She wandered into the kitchen. Dax looked up at her from the floor by the hearth where he sharpened a hatchet. He showed all his bright teeth when he smiled. “Did you make any progress on the case today?”
Raleigh sat down in the chimney corner. “Not a lot. We went to see someone who might know where our bounty is, but she wouldn’t tell us anything. We’re at a standstill for now.”
He went back to his work. “Nothing to worry about. Bishop will find it. He always does.”
Raleigh watched him. His arms swished forward to slide the file along the blade. He really was a handsome kid when you saw him from the right angle. He deserved so much more than chasing monsters and hunting contracts underground. What a waste of a good person if he became a haunted slayer like Bishop.
She regretted now ever doing anything to instigate Bishop taking Dax into his house. No wonder he left the boy living with his family so long. Better Dax should suffer in poverty than to take that fateful step closer to the slayer’s life.
Now Dax was here. He would take the hunter/slayer’s life into himself. It would infect him through his skin and his blood. He would never get rid of it until he became a slayer himself.
She gazed down at him, and deep affection for him welled up in her heart. She would do anything to protect him, to give him the life he deserved. She would sacrifice any comfort or happiness to give him that.
He sat on the floor and returned her gaze, but she didn’t see that. She saw only his life expanding outward from him. She never thought to say anything to him in that moment until he got up and went to the cupboard.
He took out a plate of broiled meat, roasted potatoes, and steamed vegetables. He brought it back to the fire and set it in her hands.
She blinked at it for a moment before she understood what it was. She looked up to find him standing over her. A gentle smile spread across his face. She couldn’t understand that face. He looked at her with the same protective sympathy she felt toward him.
Was it possible he understood? How could he? A depth of understanding shone out of his eyes and skin. He knew all about it. He knew Bishop kept him in the dark to protect him from the horrors of Hinterland and the slayer’s life. Dax understood their sacrifice to preserve the naïve innocence of what most people considered the real world.
How much did Dax really understand about Hinterland? How much had he seen without Bishop finding out? For all she knew, he was hiding in the woods and saw their fight against the wolves. Maybe Dax even saw Bishop transform into a wolf himself.
He nodded down to the plate. “Mrs. Mitchell kept your supper for you. You better eat it. You look like you’re ready to fall over.”
She couldn’t stop staring at him. Who was this kid? He sure as blazes wasn’t some innocent child from the poor side of town. Something unstoppably powerful dwelt in his spirit. He just needed a few more years to grow into it before he became every inch the warrior Bishop and Raleigh were, if not more so.
The juicy meat smell trickled into her nose, and she bent her head over her plate. Thoughts and impressions and emotions wrestled in her mind. She didn’t know what to think or what to believe. She could only go on surviving this confusing experience until she understood.
The food smelled divine, but she couldn’t eat it. Tension about what she would find in Hinterland later tonight nagged her nerves to a frazzle, and aching loneliness wouldn’t leave her alone.
Never again would she be part of that blessed world she left behind. She would never be the same species as Dax again. She lived outside, outcast and bereft. Only someone like Bishop could know who and what she was.
She slid the plate onto the kitchen table and turned away. “I can’t eat this. Tell Mrs. Mitchell I’m sorry. I just don’t have much appetite at the moment.”
He cocked his head to one side. “Are you okay?”
She forced herself to her feet. She couldn’t stand him loo
king at her like that and feeling sorry for her. That hurt too much. “I’m fine. I’m just tired. I better go to my room. See you in the morning.”
She hurried down the hall and shut her bedroom door. See you in the morning—if I’m still alive. She probably wouldn’t see him in the morning. He would wake up, and Mrs. Mitchell would tell him Raleigh and Bishop were gone.
Dax would be distraught, but at least he would be safe. She threw herself down on the bed. She buried her face in the pillow and clamped her eyes shut. She thanked heaven she wouldn’t see Dax again before she left. She couldn’t face him. In a few short days, he came to mean as much to her as he did to Bishop. No wonder Bishop kept him around. Dax gave them a reason to keep fighting, to keep the world safe so he could live his life.
Chapter 20
A subtle knock rapped on Raleigh’s bedroom door. She lifted her head to listen, but she didn’t hear the knock again. Did she imagine it? She struggled to her feet and crept to the door. Still no sound. Dax usually walked in without knocking. Who could it be?
She opened the door and almost fell over. Bishop stood sideways glaring down the hall toward the stairs. He cast a brief glance her way, but other than that, he acted like she wasn’t there.
She regarded him for a moment. What was he doing here, if he didn’t say anything to her? Weren’t they going out to Hinterland in a few hours? He usually avoided her whenever work allowed.
He shifted from one foot to the other. Raleigh expected him to walk away, but he swept his gaze around her room. He looked everywhere but at her. “Do you mind if I come in for a minute, Raleigh? There’s something I want to talk to you about.”
What could he want to talk to her about? It must be something related to the job. He must have some other piece of vital information to impart before they set off. Why else would he be here instead of telling her in his office?
She stood back and held the door open for him. He strode into the room, but he kept looking all around. He frowned at every detail of the room as though it displeased him beyond words. He brushed back his coat and set his hands on his hips while he paced up and down in front of the fire.
Raleigh crossed the room to lean against the windowsill. Fatigue and despair weighed her down. She didn’t have the time or energy to put up with whatever he had on his mind.
She waited, but he still didn’t say anything. At last, her patience wore out. “What can I do for you, Bishop?”
He came to a sudden halt and fixed her with his piercing stare. He scanned her up and down before he shook his head and went back to his interminable pacing. He kept jerking his chin to one side in silent debate with himself.
Raleigh sighed and pushed herself off the windowsill. “Look, Bishop. We’ll be going out to Hinterland in a few hours. If you’re not going to say whatever it is you’ve got on your mind, then leave me alone. I want to spend a few hours in peace and quiet before this thing blows up in our faces.”
He stopped again, and when he stared at her, his expression changed to wide-eyed surprise. She crossed her arms over her chest and returned that stare. She told him to leave her alone. That’s all she wanted, and she wouldn’t back down if it offended him.
All of a sudden, he threw up both hands and sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. His shoulders sagged, and his chin drooped onto his chest. “I tried. I really tried, but it’s no use.”
Raleigh sucked in her breath. “Tried what? What’s no use?”
He took a deep lungful of air and let the words rush out in a steady stream. “I tried, you know. I knew it wasn’t a good idea. So many apprentices die in this line of work. For years, I couldn’t get anybody but foreigners. Everybody understood the danger, and no one would come near my house, let alone talk to me on the street. I couldn’t stand the thought of that happening to you.”
Raleigh stiffened. “Yeah, you mentioned that before.”
“I knew I shouldn’t let myself love you, but it happened anyway. I knew I shouldn’t kiss you in the barn the way I did, but I couldn’t stop it. It just sort of happened by itself. I shouldn’t have done it. If anything happened to you now, I would be ruined for good. I tried not to love you, but I couldn’t stop that, either.”
She shook her head, but she couldn’t get her brain to work. “You….you love me?”
He didn’t seem to hear her. He wouldn’t look at her, either. His eyes scanned some unseen apparition beyond his eyes. “It’s not as though you could ever love me back. What could I ever offer you? I mean, who in their right mind would want to live like this? I could never make you happy. It’s impossible.”
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You…you love me?”
His eyes shot to her face. “I’m sorry, Raleigh. I’m really, really sorry. I tried to walk away from it in the barn. I tried to pretend it never happened, but I can’t get rid of it. I want so much more than that. I never knew I could feel this way about anybody, but I can see in your eyes you don’t want this. I just had to tell you. I couldn’t continue with this apprenticeship under false pretenses. I understand if you want to go home. I understand if you don’t want to continue. I wouldn’t want to continue, either. You deserve better than this. You deserve a life and a family and happiness. You deserve all the things I don’t have and I’m never going to have.”
Raleigh pulled herself together with a massive effort. “Is that what you think? You think I want all the things you don’t have? You think I want a life and a family and happiness? You think I want to be like Mrs. Mitchell, working in the real world and living a normal life? Is that what you think I really want?”
Now he took his turn to stare at her. Her words bounced right off him. They didn’t penetrate his skull.
She talked faster. “Why do you think I’m here? Why do you think I left my home on the farm to come here and work for you, if I wanted to be another grunt farm wife? Do you think I could ever turn my back on Hinterland? Do you think I could ever turn my back on you?”
Her voice cracked at the end, and Bishop doubled over across his stomach like he’d been shot. “Raleigh, I….”
Her voice rose to a shriek. “How could you ever love me? How can you be so cruel even to suggest that, when you know you could never love me? Men like you never love women like me. No man can ever love me.”
He flinched. “What makes you say that? What makes you think I could never love you? What’s so horrible about you that no man can ever love you?”
She waved her hand in front of her body, down to her knees and up in front of her leather-clad chest. “Well, just look at me. I’m not the kind of woman a man can love. I’m not….well, I’m not Angela.”
“Angela!” he cried. “What’s Angela got to do with this?”
Raleigh flapped both hands at him. She spun away and strode toward the fire. “Aw, just forget it. Get out of here and forget it. It’s never going to happen, so just leave me alone and forget it.”
She stopped in front of the mantelpiece. She leaned both hands on the sharp edge and hung her head between her arms. She closed her eyes and worked hard to get her breathing under control. She had to calm down before she burst into tears.
How could he do this to her? How could he stab her in the guts like this and then twist the knife to make it hurt ten times worse? How could he kiss her like that and then walk away, only to show up here and start slinging love around the room?
His voice traveled across the room so softly she barely heard it. “I don’t understand what you mean, Raleigh. I don’t know why you think Angela is more loveable than you are. You’re a fighter. She’s a debutante. You’re not even in the same league with her.”
“You got that right,” she grated, “and you want a debutante. Don’t even think about making me into her. I have some self-respect, you know, and I won’t bow and scrape to be loved by you or any other man.”
Another long silence followed. Her chest ached from fighting back the sobs pinching her ribs, but he made her so mad s
he wouldn’t break down.
When he spoke again, his voice came from right behind her. How did he sneak up on her like that? She had to remind herself. He was every bit the warrior and hunter she was. He could sneak up on anyone or anything.
“Raleigh,” he breathed. “Raleigh, turn around and look at me.”
She barked over her shoulder. “No.”
He let out a shaky breath. “I don’t want Angela. Our connection ended a long time ago, and it will never come back to life.”
She didn’t turn around. Her throat ached when she tried to speak. “I heard you. When you asked me to leave the room, I hung back and I listened. I heard what you said to her. You still want her. You want to be with her.”
“I went to see her today as much to get that into my head as to ask her about Soto,” he told her. “I had to see her one more time. I thought seeing her would put you out of my mind, but it didn’t work.”
She couldn’t listen to this. “Liar!”
“Raleigh,” he murmured, “I never met a woman like you before. I never knew women like you existed. Maybe you’re the only one of your kind in the universe. I don’t know. I never thought I could share my world and my life with anyone the way I’ve shared it with you. I worked with Angela for a little while, and we became romantically involved, but that could never be anything compared to what I share with you.”
He moved in close behind her. Every hair prickled on the back of her neck.
“Raleigh, listen to me. Please, God, just listen to me. I don’t want Angela or anyone like her. I don’t want a delicate flower in an elegant dress. I want you. I want someone hard and tough. I want a fighter and a slayer. I want someone who carries guns and knows how to fight. I never thought I could ever love someone like that. I never dared dream of it until I met you.”
She caught her breath, but she couldn’t form words to reply.
He stepped right up close behind her and whispered in her ear. “No one has ever stood back to back with me in danger before. No one has ever faced danger in battle with me before. I’ve been alone all my life—until now. You changed all that. I don’t have to be alone, and you don’t, either. We can face this world together. We can love each other. We can be the first slayers in history to love each other—to love anybody.” His breath touched her ear. “Please, Raleigh. Don’t you love me, too? Say you love me.”
Hinterland Series Book 1: The Wolf's Bounty Page 13
