by C. A. Harms
“Oh they are gonna be so fun to torture,” Harper said as her eyes gleamed with the possibilities, and suddenly I felt kind of bad for Jett and Easton. They truly had no idea what the next several months had in store for them.
***
I’d texted Jude about an hour ago, and he still hadn’t answered. My day with the girls had gone on longer than we’d initially planned, but when we all got together that tended to happen.
I stopped off at the store to pick up the ingredients to bake cupcakes, because I had promised Zoey we would make them tonight. I was in my own little world as I sang along with the radio blasting, feeling happy and carefree after a great day with my best friends.
When I turned left onto the cul de sac that held Jude’s apartment complex, my heart lurched in my chest. Flashing red-and-blue lights lit up the front of the apartment. Tears welled within my eyes as I brought my car to a screeching halt just to the left of Jude’s car.
I sat frozen in place as I watched the paramedics wheel Kate from the apartment, Jude following at her side. I knew I should go to him, but the fear of what was happening had taken over and I couldn’t move. Yet the moment I saw Zoey running out of the apartment crying, I pushed open my door and ran across the front lawn to her. Falling to my knees in front of her, I wrapped her in my arms and looked up to find Jude staring back at us with tears in his eyes.
“I got her,” I assured him, and he nodded before climbing up into the ambulance.
Zoey sobbed, reaching her arms out toward it as the paramedics shut the doors. I could see Jude through the back window, and he looked so lost, torn between being with Katelynn and taking care of Zoey.
I stood and lifted her into my arms. “I got you, sweetheart,” I whispered as I carried her toward the apartment. Mrs. Reames stood in the open doorway, her own cheeks stained with fresh tears, a terrified Matthew clinging to her legs.
“She started coughing and couldn’t stop,” she whispered. “Then the blood…she choked on it. I didn’t know what else to do but call 9-1-1.”
“She’ll be okay,” I said. I didn’t know if I believed my own words, yet I had to be strong. Zoey and Matt were terrified, and I had to hold it together for them.
Chapter Nineteen
Jude
The nurse who had been at my sister’s side all night placed her hand on my shoulder. “How are you holding up?” she whispered.
She was young, maybe in her late twenties. Her smile was genuine, and she had the greenest eyes I had ever seen. She insisted I call her Nora.
“I’m okay,” I said.
Of course she saw right through the lie I had just fed her. “Do you need anything? Coffee, maybe?”
“Sure.” I forced a smile. “Thank you.”
I let my head rest back against the chair, closing my eyes once more. I had barely slept an hour combined throughout the entire night.
Kate had pneumonia, and for a patient already battling metastatic cancer, that only makes the battle harder. If I had been paying more attention to Kate, I may have seen the signs. But I was so wrapped up in my own life, I missed the changes. I hadn’t noticed the chills and heavy sweating. I had missed the enhanced fatigue she was suffering through. I had failed to do what I said I always would do—take care of her.
“Stop it,” a raspy whisper filled the silent room.
I opened my eyes and looked toward the hospital bed to find Kate staring at me disapprovingly.
“Stop what?” I asked. I already knew she had me figured out. She had developed the ability to read me like a book.
“This is not your fault. I ignored the symptoms, Jude. I didn’t tell you how I was feeling. I figured it was just part of the process. The doctor said I would have good and bad days. So I just ignored my bad days.” She took in a deep breath as her eyes sagged with exhaustion. “Go home and check on my babies. And stop playing the guilt game.”
“I’m not leaving,” I said without hesitation.
“Yes, you are, because I can’t sleep with you hovering over me. It’s distracting.” A smile pulled at her lips. That was Kate. Even in her worst moments she was busting my chops. “Besides, you need a shower.”
“Smartass.” My orneriness was forced, but I knew she was trying to make the best of our current situation. The words from her oncologists this morning kept playing over and over in my head. “Your immune system is not what it once was. The pneumonia has settled in your left lung, and it is very aggressive.” Since then, she’d had heavy rounds of antibiotics on a continuous drip. They’d also been giving her steroids in an attempt to strengthen her lung. It was a long shot, but at this point we would try just about anything to help.
One of the hardest things I ever had to do was sit at her bedside without being able to offer any form of help. I had spent so many years taking care of Katelynn, Matthew, and Zoey, but we’d now reached a point where I couldn’t fix things. I could no longer be the hero Katelynn needed in hard times. That fact was tearing me apart, and I knew I would never be able to accept it.
“You need to accept it, Jude.” Katelynn’s weak whisper brought me back to the present. My eyes met hers, and my chest instantly burned with emotional overload. Katelynn stared back at me as she fought to stay awake. “It’s gonna happen. We have to face it.”
“Enough,” I forced past the lump in my throat.
“Jude,” Katelynn whispered.
“Kate, I can’t do this.” I leaned forward and placed my head in my hands. “Not now, please. Don’t make me have this conversation. What am I gonna do without you? How will I be everything Matt and Zoey need, Katie?” My chest vibrated from the sob that had escaped me. “I am terrified of a world without you in it.”
I looked up when she didn’t respond and was surprised to find she had fallen asleep. I sat next to her bed, and the sound of her struggling breaths only made the reality of our future more clear.
***
I had dozed off and was once again awakened by the sound of someone entering the hospital room. I expected in was a nurse or a member of the hospital staff, so I didn’t open my eyes.
That was until the rich vanilla scent I had grown to love filled the area around me. I had no idea if it was the lack of sleep or my need for comfort, but I turned in my chair just as Callie stepped up beside me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my head against her stomach, my throat burning as I fought against the tears.
The moment Callie combed her fingers through my hair, the hopes I’d had of holding my emotions back faltered. My body shook as I allowed them to pour from me.
“I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do this, Callie,” I confessed.
She released her hold on me and knelt in front of me, placing one hand on each cheek. “You are,” she said. Her own eyes were filled with tears that broke free and slowly rolled along her cheeks. “You are so strong, Jude.”
“I feel like I’m failing. Like my strength is slipping and I’m falling fast. I don’t think I can hold it together.” I stared back at her, no longer caring if I appeared to be weak.
“Then fall,” she whispered. “Fall, and let me catch you. Sometimes in life you just need to let go and allow yourself to be the one that’s receiving the support. Just let it go, Jude. Please, just let it go.”
I continued to take deep breaths, refusing to give in to the ache. I had to stay strong for Kate, Zoey, and Matthew. They needed that from me. But the longer I stared back into Callie’s eyes, the harder it was to hold back. She was giving me an out, a chance to feel fully without judgement. And knowing that made it easier to let go of my last bit of resolve.
Chapter Twenty
Callie
Between my shifts at Jett’s and my time at Jude’s apartment, along with visits to the hospital and preparation for Harper and Easton’s wedding, the days were beginning to blend together. Meanwhile, Katelynn was still fighting against pneumonia with no end in sight. It felt as if a dark cloud was hanging over all of us, but we contin
ued to try to keep a happy face on for the kids.
Jude spent most of his days and even his nights at the hospital alongside Katelynn. He found it almost impossible to leave her. But between Jett, Quinn, and the rest of our friends, we had an amazing team willing to offer any and all help they could. They took shifts sitting alongside Jude, offering him their support and reassurance.
Zoey and Matthew had also grown close to my parents. When I had to work, my mom would take them under her wing and spoil them, and they adored her. The feeling as far as my parents were concerned was mutual.
I had just finished my shift at the restaurant and decided I would stop in to see Jude and Katelynn before going to my parents’ house to pick up the kids. As I exited the elevator and walked toward Katelyn’s room, I could hear voices spilling from the partially open door.
“I can’t accept that, Easton. It doesn’t feel right.” Jude was attempting to come off as stern and straightforward, yet his lack of rest only made him sound defeated.
“I’m not asking you if it’s okay. I’m telling you this is just the way it’s gonna be.” Easton chuckled, and I could only imagine it was because of that look Jude always gives someone when he disagrees with something they’ve said or done. “I already put the building in your name, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. The renovations will be done in a few more weeks, and then you all can move into the larger unit on the end. After that, the contractors will continue to move throughout the building, updating and cleaning things up.”
“I’m not a charity case, man. I don’t need you swooping in and playing hero. I can take care of my own.” But Jude’s response sounded sad, like he was questioning his own words.
“Never once have I looked at this as charity. You’re my friend, Jude, and friends help one another. My father spent his life building his empire. No, he may not have always done things the right way, but he assured my future was secure. Now all I want to do is pass that on to someone I know deserves a break. Fuck, you have busted your ass for years, Jude. Besides, in a few years’ time, I’ll have the money back and then some.”
“What do you mean?” Jude asked.
“We break ground on the other two units next week. The property just across the parking lot will have two buildings just like yours. I’m keeping those two.”
A silence set in, and I wondered just what was happening.
“So I’m gonna have to deal with even more neighbors?” Jude’s voice sounded less tormented.
“Well, for now, but I figure once you and Callie get married and start having kids of your own, you’ll probably move out of the complex.” Easton’s words surprised me. Jude and I were nowhere near that stage yet.
Another uncomfortable silence set in, and I was just about to turn around and retreat back toward the elevator when Jude’s words made me freeze.
“I was a dumbass for ever thinking I could keep my distance from her. She’s pretty damn special, and you’re right.” Jude paused, and my heart raced in my chest. “I can see myself spending the rest of my life with Callie.”
“Well, it’s about time you admit you’ve had a thing for her for years. The rest of us could see it every time you were in the same room together,” Easton said.
“I will pay you back somehow,” Jude said.
Easton chuckled once more, and I slowly began to back away from the room. “You can pay me back by giving those two kids the best life you can and by loving Callie the way she deserves to be loved.”
My chest tightened at Easton’s words. He truly was a sweet man, and Harper had found a gem when she snagged him.
I walked toward the vending machine just around the corner to wait for a few moments. I wanted to let the guys finish up their talk, even though I had eavesdropped on the main part of it. I purchased a bottle of water and was putting my wallet back into my bag when my phone vibrated in my purse. When I took it out, I found a message from Jude that made me smile.
Jude: I miss you. I would love to see your sweet smile right now. Come see me.
Without sending a response, I slipped the phone into my bag and walked toward Katelynn’s room.
The moment I pushed open the door, he turned to face me.
“Hi,” I offered with a smile. “I was already on my way to see you.” I shrugged and took another step into the room, pulling the door closed behind me.
Without speaking a word, he motioned for me to come to him, and I moved without hesitation. Jude wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his lap. We sat silently as he held me close with his face buried in the crease of my neck. The silence in the room was peaceful, and I had truly missed being in his arms.
Chapter Twenty-One
Jude
The days had been long and draining, yet the moment I saw Callie’s face, hope sparked within me. I had spent so long pretending she had no effect on me, but I no longer tried to hold my feelings back. I spent a few moments just breathing in her comforting scent of vanilla, then I pulled back a little and placed my lips against the space just beneath her ear. I kissed her gently, then trailed my nose along her jawline. “I’ve missed you, sweetheart.” I arched my neck, looking up at her.
“I’ve missed you too,” she whispered. “How is she doing today?”
“Same.”
We both looked toward the bed that held Katelynn. She had gone from bad to good, then to worse in a matter of days. The doctors had hoped the antibiotics were working until they did another CT scan three days ago. They then found the pneumonia had not only worsened but had now reached her right lung. With her weakened immune system, her body was just not fighting it off. They’d administered a round of stronger antibiotics, but things still looked bleak, and they’d told us it was truly only a matter of time.
“I think maybe we need to bring the kids for a visit,” I said without looking away from Katelynn. “I know I’ve been holding off bringing them, hoping things would change, but I can’t keep doing that. I think we all know that was just wishful thinking on my part.”
Callie squeezed me a little tighter. She had been amazing these last few weeks. Hell, she had been amazing from the moment she met Katelynn and the kids. She had loved them and cared for them as if they were members of her own family. Her selflessness only made me love her more. Yeah, love. I was in love with Callie. I think I had always been. But until I let my guard down and truly let her in, I tried to convince myself I could live without her. Now I knew that was no longer a possibility.
“Do you want me to go get them?” she asked.
“I think I should pick them up. Maybe talk to them and explain a little, before they see her,” I said. “Do you mind sitting here with Kate for a while?”
“Sure, of course. They’re with my mom.”
I nodded as I stared at Katelynn’s sleeping form.
“I could have her meet you downstairs with them, or even at your apartment. Whatever you need.”
I turned to face her, and she watched me closely, trying to weigh my reactions. “I love you, Cal. I just want you to know that.” Her eyes grew wide with shock, yet I continued on without allowing her to respond. I needed her to know just how much she truly meant to me. How much her actions had meant to me. “You could be out there dating some guy without the baggage I have. You could be spending your days at the beach and your nights with friends, without all this worry and sadness. But instead you’re here. You’re always here, and I don’t even have to ask. That means more to me than you will ever know.” I placed my hand on the back of her neck and pulled her toward me. “I love you, baby. Thank you.”
Her lower lip trembled as I placed my lips to hers and tried to let her feel the love I held for her. I needed her to understand just how important she had become to me and to my family.
***
“Uncle Jude,” Zoey yelled as she crawled out of Callie’s mother’s Ford Escape, which was parked in front of the hospital entrance. She must have been waiting just outside for me to come
down. She wore a pair of bright blue pants and a yellow shirt I had never seen before. Following close behind was Callie’s mother and Matthew, who held on tightly to her hand.
I bent down just as Zoey threw herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck.
“Hey, sweetheart.” I engulfed her in my arms and kissed her forehead. “You been a good girl?” I asked as I looked up at Callie’s mom, who now stood before me. Meeting her under these circumstances was never what I had planned, but this woman was just like her daughter. She opened her home up to Zoey and Matthew over the last couple weeks without even a second thought.
“They’ve both been perfect,” she said, looking between my niece and nephew.
“Thank you, Mrs. Raine. I really appreciate you taking them in the way you have. It means a lot.” I stood up and offered her a smile.
“Call me Mallory, and there’s no need to thank me. These two are the sweetest kids. I love having them around,” she assured me with a matching smile.
“It looks like they’re wearing some new clothes,” I said as I looked over Matthew, who wore a superhero shirt I had never seen before. “Let me pay you back for what you spent.”
I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet. As I brought it around in front of me and began to fumble through it, she placed her hand over mine. “You owe me nothing. I’ve always wanted grandchildren. Callie has made me wait far too long to have little ones to spoil. I think I enjoy it more than them. Please, Jude.” She smiled brightly, and in that moment I saw a touch of Callie within her eyes. “Don’t take away the enjoyment I feel when I get to see their eyes light up. Just know it means the world to me that you’ve allowed me to be a part of their lives.”
