by Najwa Zebian
Transparent Heart
Sometimes people make obvious what's in their hearts, not necessarily through words but indirectly through their actions. Do we make what's in our hearts as obvious in return? Sometimes we try so hard to hide our thoughts and feelings because we are scared of the unknown. We are scared that, once our thoughts and feelings are exposed, they will not be taken care of by others the way we took care of them for so long. We are scared of letting go of what is in our control and putting it in someone else's hands. We take a step ahead, and because of that fear, we take ten steps backwards, not realizing that we are causing that same fear for others. We are scared of being misunderstood. And because of this, we linger in a state of uncertainty, not knowing what to do because all we know is what we see and not what we hear. Although feelings are much stronger than words, it somehow brings ease to our hearts and minds to hear what we would like to hear before we can let go of that fear. We forget that, sometimes, simply saying what needs to be said can make any trace of uncertainty in others turn into a confidence that cannot be defeated.
Intuition
Sometimes we just know what to do. We have a feeling that it's right, and so we do it without having an intended or obvious reason for it. But the reason does exist, and our feeling is valid, pointing in the right direction. For perfectionists like myself, it's hard to attempt anything that does not have a valid or clear reason and that comes in the way of us taking risks or following our gut feeling. That's because it feels like taking directions while being blindfolded, unable to see the end that we are walking towards. So, when we do allow our intuition to take over, we feel that we are taking a big risk and that we are trusting others to lead our way, and that's when every small step seems like a journey. Every small step requires so much effort and so much courage to take. We need to get a positive response after every small step because, without that, we feel discouraged and want to go back to the start, where we were in ownership of our path. We did not have to trust anyone but ourselves. We did not have to walk towards the unknown. We did not have to feel that we were wronging ourselves by giving into what we felt, instead of what we thought. It's our safe place. But the beauty in allowing our intuition to take over sometimes is in the possibility of it leading us to the right place at the end, where we realize the reason for what we did.
Mature Decisions
I don't like this attitude of people who decide that being alone is better than being around others just because others hurt them. If you consider yourself a considerate person who has been wronged by others, then, trust me, there are people just like you. You just are not seeing them, and that makes you just like those who are hurting you. You have negative people in your life? People who praise those who make them feel like garbage and then make you feel like garbage? People who refuse to support you when you need it most? So tell me this, why are you keeping them in your life? There comes a point when you need to eliminate some people from your life, not because you don't believe in their goodness or because you don't think that there is a chance for them to change, but because they do not appreciate you to begin with, and they never did. You were always their sidekick, and once you started shining, they could not handle your success. How are you supposed to inspire them to change if you stay the weak follower that you are? Cleanse your life of cunning people who pretend to care for you when they really don't. If they can't be happy to see you happy, and if they refuse to see your inner beauty and give you credit for who you really are, then why are you giving them a second of your time? Walk away and see if they would ask you to turn back around. Let them realize what they lost.
Believe
Hope for the best and believe that it will happen, and it will happen. If it doesn't, then it wasn't the best for you. There's something better waiting. Before you lose hope, stay positive, see signs in the littlest of things, and move in the direction of what makes you happy. Your heart gravitates towards real happiness, whether it is your definition of happiness or not. Listen to it when you can't find a logical reason not to. Where it takes you is where the best awaits you.
What If
You know those moments when a beautiful what if crosses your mind and makes you smile from the core of your heart? The moments when you find yourself lost in a dream, with happiness overwhelming your heart? Those moments are mirrors into the life that you should be living in order to be truly happy. Sometimes we are so preoccupied with just getting by in life that we forget to truly live it, with every meaning of live possible. Those are the moments that will allow us to feel meaning in what we do. They allow us to enjoy our time while doing what we love. Those are the moments that make the happiness in our hearts shine into the hearts of others. Those moments are the extensions of one single event that springs hope into our hearts and spurs an imagination of our future right before our eyes. Whether we make that imagination true or not depends on whether we take a step towards it. It's in our hands. You may not be able to get there on your own because others need to put their hands in too, but do your part and live knowing that you tried. Do not spend your life wondering about what could have been after the light that was present to lead your way was dimmed by the life you thought you were living.
A Battle to Win
The faces that we wear in different environments can tell a lot about our personalities. Do you find yourself speaking differently when you're around different people? Do you care more about what you say and how you look in front of certain people and not others? Do you put more effort into thinking of the words that you say or the things that you do in front of certain people and not others? It's interesting to be aware of these differences within you that you may not be conscious of. The real challenge is when all of these faces or personalities come in confrontation with each other in order to determine which one is really representative of you. Which one do you feel most comfortable in? Which one do you put yourself in when you want to impress others? And when you meet new people who know nothing about you, do you create a whole new personality based on what you learned from your experiences in all the other ones? How much effort do you make to put yourself in each one? The bottom line is, if all of those personalities or faces that you have are not at peace with one another, and if they have any major differences, then you are still uncertain of your beliefs and of who you really are or who you want to be for the rest of your life. So, what are you waiting for? Don't wait until others pick up on your contradictions and confront you about them. Take a break and deal with your issues before you worry about dealing with the issues of others. This is the time to put yourself first and try to bring all of the contradictions within you to a halt. The sooner you have this confrontation with yourself, the sooner you can be comfortable with yourself. After you reach a consensus with yourself, your genuineness will shine upon every single person you meet without you trying. So go ahead, let that battle within you take place until you become at peace with yourself. After that, you will feel the true confidence in yourself that you've always longed for. Go ahead and start.
Contemplating Happiness
Survival is not the same as living. Smiling is not the same as laughing your heart out. Thinking is not the same as having a deep conversation. Listening is not the same as really caring. Words are nothing if they are not spoken, and feelings are doomed to be erased if they are not expressed at the right time. Sometimes we are afraid of taking that extra step that takes us from what is ordinary to what is extraordinary, that extra step towards really being happy, because happiness seems just too good to be true. It seems too far away to dream of. It seems too hard to get, too hopeless, too risky. But what's the point of realizing the extraordinary if you don't go for it? You're better off not realizing it and living a content life rather than realizing it and feeling hopeless about it. There is nothing wrong with what's ordinary, but if extraordinary chances come your way, let the happiness that your heart desires extend out and reach for them.
Listen to Your Heart
/> Once you realize that life is not perfect, you truly begin to live a beautiful life because beauty is in comparison with everything else that is less than it. If life were perfect, we would all live the same life, and we would not have unique experiences. We would not need better and best because everything would be good. If life were perfect, opposites would not exist because, upon their existence, perfection would fail to be the same in everyone's eyes. Differences would not exist. We would be objects, not the live souls we are now, souls who aspire to reach perfection while understanding the fact that perfection does not exist as one thing that everyone agrees upon, that it exists differently in the way that each one of us perceives the world, happiness, and contentment.
Disappointed
It is far less disappointing to realize that the characteristics you've come to dislike in people in the past are present in new people than it is to realize that those characteristics are present in yourself.
Between the Lines
We all have this inner need to be stable, the need to feel that we have a place where we belong. We like to gravitate towards what puts our hearts and minds at ease. Everyone wants to be free of any captivating or weakening feelings and thoughts, but ironically, we also like to feel grounded by that which we cannot control. We like to feel that there is a greater power over us, one that sometimes allows us to justify the actions that we do despite logic telling us not to. As much as uncertainty puts us at an unease because we are swinging between the hope of a yes and the disappointment of a no, we love that hope, that possibility, that maybe. We sometimes read nonexistent meanings and feelings between short lines, but we see them because we want to belong, because we want to feel stable. The possibility of their existence forcefully tempts us to see them. Depending on the power of uncertainty that we have, if, at the end, we find out that those meanings do exist, we value them more because we have already worked hard for them by foreseeing them and hoping for them. Meanwhile, we have to understand that uncertainty is something that we need, that time is something that we need, in order to really appreciate what we end up getting.
Avoidance
Time passes, the past is inevitably created, and we get moved out of it into the present, but do we really move past it? Avoid a nagging thought or feeling for a minute and see how many days it will take you to deal with it in the future. The main reason why we live most of our lives recalling the past is that we don't really get rid of it. We keep unresolved problems in it, and that makes us visit it often to deal with them. Feelings and thoughts that we ignored at the time that we were able to control them become too complicated once the issue shifts from How do I deal with this? to Where do I even start? We are good at avoiding. We are good at just disappearing because we think that if we stay away from a thought or a feeling long enough, it will just go away. Meanwhile, the complete opposite happens because, subconsciously, your need to deal with the issue becomes more persistent. That need for resolution becomes stronger. Taking time to understand why certain thoughts cross your mind, and what you need to do with them, is absolutely critical, and conviction of your decisions is even more critical. It is always better to be at peace with your mind and heart so that you lead the directions that they take. Otherwise, you will find yourself acting in ways that even you don't understand.
The Language of Silence
There's something about silence in others that we find frustrating yet intriguing. When you are faced with silence, you have the ability to interpret it in whatever way you want. It's very interesting because silence is not a language, yet it could be more powerful than any language, and it is present absolutely everywhere. It may seem that it doesn't take any energy, but it actually can take more energy than speaking because you hold yourself back from saying what you want to say. We use it to convey happiness, sadness, acceptance, deep thought, disappointment, inability to express our thoughts and feelings, or even carelessness, etc. Sometimes we use it unintentionally, and we are unaware of how those around us interpret it. When speaking words, we can change what they mean by simply changing our tone, but silence has no tone. Instead, the silence of another person awakens many voices within us: those that will tell us what we want to hear, those that will tell us exactly what we need to hear, those that will tell us what we know that we deserve to hear, those that will tell us to wonder about what would happen if that silence meant this or that, etc. This is where our original intention kicks in, and based on it, we have this self-talk that makes us feel shame, guilt, pride, conviction, disappointment, etc. So think about it. Do you actively and selectively use silence as a form of communication? Do you ever think about how people around you interpret it? Similarly, do you give the silence of others the attention and thought that it needs? Or do you just allow one voice within you to affect the way you think?
The Rare You
People will rarely see you the way that you see yourself, but don't let it stress you out. You most likely don't see people the way they see themselves either. We selectively choose what to see in others based on our purpose of having them in our lives. We may see others the way that they like to be seen, but not the way that they really are, because what we see is only a snapshot that is bound to a certain time, to a certain angle, and to a certain state of mind that we have. Everything is relative, and nothing about you that people see is a pure truth because no one is perfect, and no characteristic in you can ever be applicable a hundred percent of the time. The only truth that holds place is that you have a certain capacity to cause a change in others based on what you can or cannot offer them. This capacity depends on your willingness to act upon it. If you believe that you can inspire others to change their ways and see themselves for who they are, and you are willing to go ahead and do it, then you are brave. You are rare. If you choose to keep that capacity within you without sharing it with those who can benefit from it, then you are no different than most people who choose to remain neutral. Which one are you?
The First Step
In order to achieve greatness, you have to be willing to take the right steps towards it. Some of us will settle for what is average. Some of us will settle for what will get us by in life. But some of us do not accept anything less than what is extraordinary, and this is where the most stress is bound to come our way. What stands between us and that extraordinary goal are hundreds of steps, and that blocks our image of that end goal. When we can't see it, we start losing hope, and we start losing belief that we are headed in the right direction. We could stand in front of the first step for as long as we want and waste time. Or we could go ahead and take the first step. Once we do that, it's hard not to go to the next step, and the next, because we don't want to lose what we just invested. Instead of looking too far ahead to see that end goal, pay attention to how you can nail the next step and believe in your heart that your end goal exists. Now do you see why some things in life are better than others? Because they are rare, and rarely will people intend to achieve them because of the uncertainty of being able to reach them. So, if you have an extraordinary goal, go for it. Take the first step. Giving up is not easy, but holding on is definitely harder. Once you can convince yourself of that and bring yourself to accept that you need to expect hardships in pursuit of greatness, then you have taken your first step graciously. You wouldn't worry about reaching for the fruits on the highest branches of a tree before planting the seed, would you?
Ignite Change
Be the one to always give and not expect anything in return, not to avoid being hurt but to feel content with what you can do yourself, to be independent, to be happy without needing anyone to give you happiness. Be like a breeze of change that inspires others to see their abilities without needing you to stay. Make people think. Make them wonder, and let them know that what you give is only based on what they are willing to take. Don't attribute your success based on whether you make a difference with everyone you meet, but on the kind of difference you are willing to make. Accept that you have no owne
rship over people even if you do give them more than you receive. The effort that you put into inspiring others to value their own selves, and to see the best in themselves, gives them two choices: either to take it or leave it. Whatever they choose is not a sign of your success or failure, unless you believe that to be the case.
A Serene State of Mind
If you're not at peace with your thoughts, don't expect anyone to express theirs to you. If you're not at peace with your feelings, don't expect anyone to be honest with you about theirs. If you can't be at peace with the closest people to you, don't expect new people to enter your life. If you're not at peace with your past, don't expect a hopeful future to come easily. Peace starts from within. It reflects on your outside whether you are aware of it or not. It is the beauty of your soul that reflects the purity from within you. Be at peace with yourself so that you may be content and happy with being who you are, or else you will be living in conflict with no one other than yourself, and you will become in need of help from someone who is not you. Don't depend on anyone to answer your questions. Don't depend on anyone to give you clarity. Find the answers yourself. Find clarity yourself. You have a brain to guide you and a heart to motivate you.
