Parenting Your Emerging Adult

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Parenting Your Emerging Adult Page 20

by Varda Konstam


  16.Ulla Hytti, “From Unemployment to Entrepreneurship: Constructing Different Meanings” (paper presented in the Rent XVII Workshop, Lodz, Poland, November 20-21, 2003), accessed November 11, 2012, http://130.203.133.150/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.200.9544&rep=rep1&type=pdf; Matsidiso N. Naong, “Promotion of Entrepreneurship Education—A Remedy to Graduates and Youth Unemployment—A Theoretical Perspective,” Journal of Social Sciences 28, no. 3 (2011): 187.

  17.Arnold Kling and Nick Schulz, “Solving the Long-Term Jobs Problem,” The American, July 27, 2011, accessed November 10, 2012, http://www.american.com/archive/2011/july/solving-the-long-term-jobs-problem.

  Chapter 3:

  Career Indecision or Experimentation?

  1.John Bynner, Elsa Ferri and Peter Shepherd, eds., Twenty-Something in the 1990s: Getting On, Getting By, Getting Nowhere (Surrey, UK: Ashgate Publishing, 1997), 119–128, quoted in European Group for Integrated Social Research, “Misleading Trajectories: Transition Dilemmas of Young Adults in Europe,” Journal of Youth Studies 4, no. 1 (2001): 103–104.

  2.Barry Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less (New York, NY: Harper Perennial, 2004).

  3.Itamar Gati, Lisa Asulin-Peretz and Ahinoam Fisher, “Emotional and Personality-Related Career Decision-Making Difficulties: A 3-Year Follow-Up,” The Counseling Psychologist 40, no. 1 (2011): 7.

  4.Judy M. Chartrand, Melissa L. Rose, Timothy R. Elliott, Cheri Marmarosh and Susan Caldwell, “Peeling Back the Onion: Personality, Problem Solving, and Career Decision-Making Style Correlates of Career Indecision,” Journal of Career Assessment 1, no. 1 (1993): 69, quoted in Itamar Gati, Lisa Asulin-Peretz and Ahinoam Fisher, “Emotional and Personality-Related Career Decision-Making Difficulties: A 3-Year Follow-Up,” The Counseling Psychologist 40, no. 1 (2011): 7.

  5.Bureau of Labor Statistics, “America’s Young Adults at 24: School Enrollment, Training, and Employment Transitions Between Ages 23 and 24,” U.S. Department of Labor, February 9, 2012, accessed July 24, 2012, http://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/nlsyth.pdf.

  6.Shmuel Shulman, Sidney J. Blatt and Benni Feldman, “Vicissitudes of the Impetus for Growth and Change among Emerging Adults,” Psychoanalytic Psychology 23 (2006): 164.

  7.Donald E. Super, The Psychology of Careers: An Introduction to Vocational Development (New York, NY: Harper, 1957); Donald E. Super, “A Life-Span, Life-Space Approach to Career Development,” in Career Choice and Development: Applying Contemporary Theories to Practice, edited by Duane Brown and Linda Brooks (San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 1990): 197–261.

  8.Super, “A Life-Span, Life-Space Approach to Career Development.”

  9.Paul R. Salomone, “Difficult Cases in Career Counseling: II. The Indecisive Client,” Personnel and Guidance Journal 60, no. 8 (1982): 499.

  10.Ibid., 497–498.

  11.Varda Konstam and Ilana Lehmann, “Emerging Adults at Work and at Play: Leisure, Work Engagement, and Career Indecision,” Journal of Career Assessment 19, no. 2 (2011): 151–164.

  12.Kevin R. Kelly and Wei-Chien Lee, “Mapping the Domain of Career Decision Problems,” Journal of Vocational Behavior 61, no. 2 (2002): 302–326.

  13.Ibid., 322.

  14.Ilana Lehmann and Varda Konstam, “Growing up Perfect: Perfectionism, Problematic Internet Use, and Career Indecision in Emerging Adults,” Journal of Counseling and Development 89, no. 2 (2011): 155–162.

  15.Daniel C. Feldman, “The Antecedents and Consequences of Early Career Indecision among Young Adults,” Human Resource Management Review 13, no. 3 (2003): 526.

  16.Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice, 9–18.

  17.Dan Ariely, Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces that Shape Our Decisions (New York, NY: HarperCollins, 2008), 142.

  18.John Tierney, “The Advantages of Closing a Few Doors,” New York Times, February 26, 2008, accessed January 12, 2012, http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/26/science/26tier.html?_r=1&oref=slogin.

  19.Ariely, Predictably Irrational, 149–150.

  20.Ibid., 151.

  Chapter 4:

  From the Professional to the Personal

  1.Robert Schoen, Nancy S. Lansdale, and Kimberly Daniels, “Family Transitions in Young Adulthood,” Demography 44 (2007): 817–818.

  2.Paula Y. Goodwin, William D. Mosher and Anjani Chandra, “Marriage and Cohabitation in the United States: A statistical portrait based on Cycle 6 (2002) of the National Survey of Family Growth,” Vital Health Statistics 23, no. 28 (2010) http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_028.pdf.

  3.Scott M. Stanley, Galena Kline Rhoades and Howard J. Markman, “Sliding Versus Deciding: Inertia and the Premarital Cohabitation Effect,” Family Relations 55, no. 4 (2006): 500.

  4.Varda Konstam, Emerging and Young Adulthood: Multiple Perspectives, Diverse Narratives (New York, NY: Springer Press, 2007), 68.

  5.Ibid., 69.

  6.Ethan Watters, “In My Tribe,” in Before the Mortgage: Real Stories of Brazen Loves, Broken Leases, and the Perplexing Pursuit of Adulthood, edited by Christina Amini and Rachel Hutton (New York, NY: Simon Spotlight Entertainment, 2006): 88.

  7.Ibid., 88–89.

  8.Varda Konstam, Ilana Lehmann and Sarah Tomek, “Friends We Have Never Met: Pathways in Emerging Adults” (Preprint submitted September 5, 2012).

  9.Darius K.-S. Chan and Grand H.-L. Cheng, “A Comparison of Offline and Online Friendship Qualities at Different Stages of Relationship Development,” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 21, no. 3 (2004): 316, doi: 10.1177/0265407504042834.

  10.Konstam, Emerging and Young Adulthood, 64.

  11.Mark R. Fondacaro and Kenneth Heller, “Social Support Factors and Drinking among College Student Males,” Journal of Youth and Adolescence 12, no. 4 (1983): 285–299, quoted in Michael Kimmel, Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men (New York, NY: HarperCollins, 2008), 107.

  12.Michael Kimmel, Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men (New York, NY: HarperCollins, 2008), 109.

  13.Hara Estroff Marano, A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting (New York, NY: Broadway Books, 2008), 153.

  14.Jennifer R. Boyle and Bradley O. Boekeloo, “Perceived Parental Approval of Drinking and Its Impact on Problem Drinking Behaviors Among First-Year College Students,” Journal of American College Health 54, no. 4 (2006): 240.

  15.Bruce D. Bartholow, Kenneth J. Sher and Jennifer L. Krull, “Changes in Heavy Drinking Over the Third Decade of Life As a Function of Collegiate Fraternity and Sorority Involvement: A Prospective, Multilevel Analysis,” Health Psychology 22, no. 6 (2003): 616–626.

  16.Ibid., 624.

  17.E. Mavis Hetherington and Margaret Stanley-Hagan, “The Adjustment of Children with Divorced Parents: A Risk and Resiliency Perspective,” Journal of Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry 40, no. 1 (1999): 130; Dorit Eldar-Avidan, Muhammed M. Haj-Yahia and Charles W. Greenbaum, “Divorce Is a Part of My Life. Resilience, Survival, and Vulnerability: Young Adults’ Perception of the Implications of Parental Divorce,” Journal of Marital and Family Therapy 35, no. 1 (2009): 41.

  18.Ming Cui, Frank D. Fincham and B. Kay Pasley, “Young Adult Romantic Relationships: The Role of Parents’ Marital Problems and Relationship Efficacy,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 34, no. 9 (2008): 1233.

  19.Judith S. Wallerstein and Julia M. Lewis, “The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: Report of a 25- Year Study,” Psychoanalytic Psychology 21, no. 3 (2004): 368.

  20.Varda Konstam, “Emerging Adults and Parental Divorce: Coming to Terms with ‘What Might Have Been,’ ” Journal of Systemic Therapies 28, no. 4 (2009): 29.

  21.Laura A. King and Courtney Raspin, “Lost and Found Possible Selves, Subjective Well-Being, and Ego Development in Divorced Women,” Journal of Personality 72, no. 3 (2004): 627.

  22.Jennifer L. Tanner, Jeffrey Jensen Arnett and Julie A. Leis, “Emerging Adulthood: Learning and Development During the First Stage of Adulthood,” in Handbook of Research on Adult Development and Learning, edited by M. Cecil Smith wit
h Nancy DeFrates-Densch (New York, NY: Taylor & Francis, 2009), 52–53.

  23.Alison Lobron, “Meet. Marry. Move On,” Boston Globe, July 15, 2007, accessed November 10, 2012. http://www.boston.com/news/globe/magazine/articles/2007/07/15/meet_marry_move_on/?page=full.

  Chapter 5:

  Technology in the Lives of Emerging Adults

  1.Michelle Slatalla, “Dear Stranger: It’s 4 a.m. Help. Cyberfamilia,” New York Times, (August 2008, E2.)

  2.Matt Richtell, “Don’t Want to Talk about It? Order a Missed Call,” New York Times (August 2008, A1, 12.)

  3.Personal communication with Dr. Wayne Weiner, December 2, 2011.

  4.Kate E. Jackson, “Look homeward, Generation X,” Sunday Boston Globe (March 2008, H1, H4.)

  5.Patricia Wallace, The Psychology of the Internet (UK: Cambride University Press, 1999), 9.

  6.Ibid., 132, 202.

  7.U.S. Department of Education, Office of Planning, Evaluation and Policy Development, Policy and Program Studies Service, Analysis of State Bullying Laws and Policies, Washington, D.C. 2011, 127-129.

  8.Katelyn Y. A. McKenna and John A. Bargh, “Coming Out in The Age of the Internet: Identity “Demarginalization” through Virtual Group Participation,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 75, 3(1998), 692.

  9.Ashlee Vance, “Facebook: The Making of 1 Billion Users,” Bloomberg Business Week Technology, (October 2012, accessed November 2012) http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-10-04/facebook-the-making-of-1-billion-users.

  10.Alice Mathias, “The Facebook Generation,” New York Times (October 2007, accessed June 2012) http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/06/opinion/06mathias.html.

  11.Ibid.

  12.Stephanie Rosenbloom, “Putting Your Best Cyberface Forward,” New York Times (January 3, 2008, accessed October 2012) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/03/fashion/03impression.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0.

  13.Personal communication with Dr. Rick Houser, March 4, 2011.

  14.Ilana S. Lehmann and Varda Konstam, “Twitter, Personality and Friendships,” Preprint submitted (December 12, 2012)

  15.Oliver P. John, E.M. Donahue and R. L. Kentle “The Big Five Inventory—Versions 4a and 54.” (Berkeley, CA: University of California, Berkeley, Institute of Personality and Social Research. 1991)

  16.Norman H. Nie and Lutz Erbring, “Internet and Society: A Preliminary Report,” (February 2000, accessed October 2012) http://www.bsos.umd.edu/socy/alan/webuse/handouts/Nie%20and%20Erbring-Internet%20and%20Society%20a%20Preliminary%20Report.pdf.

  17.Ibid.

  18.Ethan Gilsdorf, “My Escape to the Dungeon,” The Boston Globe (March 2008, A11)

  19.Ibid.

  20.Kimberly S. Young, Xiao D. Yue, and Li Ying, “Prevalence Estimates and Etiologic Models of Internet Addiction,” in Internet Addiction: A Handbook and Guide to Evaluation and Treatment, ed. Kimberly S. Young and Christiano N. de Abreu (Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, 2011), 5–6.

  21.Sandra Ramussen, Addiction Treatment: Theory and Practice (London: Sage Publications 2000) 86

  22.Kimberly S. Young, Caught in the Net: How to Recognize the Signs of Internet Addiction and A Winning Strategy for Recovery (New York: John Wiley, 1998), 3–4.

  23.Personal communication with Dr. Rick Houser, March 4, 2011.

  24.Kimberly S. Young, “Internet Addiction: The Emergence Of A New Clinical Disorder” (paper presented at the 104th annual meeting of the American Psychological Association, Toronto, Canada, August 15, 1996).

  25.Jeffrey Michael Parsons. “An examination of massively multiplayer online role-playing games as a facilitator of internet addiction.” (University of Iowa, 2005.) http://ir.uiowa.edu/etd/98.

  26.Richard Foreman, “The Pancake People, Or, “the Gods Are Pounding My Head,” Edge (March 2005, accessed May 2012) http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/foreman05/foreman05_index.html.

  27.Mark Bittman, “I Need a Virtual Break. No, Really,” New York Times (March 2008) 1, 14.

  28.Joel Garreau, “Friends Indeed? As We Click With More Pals Online, The Idea of Friendship Multiplies,” The Washington Post (April 2008) M1, M6.

  Chapter 6:

  Parenting an Emerging Adult

  1.William S. Aquilino, “Family Relationships and Support Systems in Emerging Adulthood” quoted in Emerging Adults in America: Coming of Age in the 21st Century, edited by Jeffrey Jensen Arnett and Jennifer Lynn Tanner (Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 2005), 193–217.

  2.Wendy S. White, “Students, Parents, Colleges: Drawing the Lines,” Chronicle of Higher Education 52, no. 17 (2005).

  3.Sue Shellenbarger, “Tucking the Kids In—in the Dorm: Colleges Ward Off Overinvolved Parents,” Wall Street Journal, July 28, 2005, accessed March 15, 2012, http://online.wsj.com/article/0,,SB112250452603298007,00.html.

  4.Madeline Levine, The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids (New York, NY: Harper, 2006), 10–11.

  5.Aquilino, “Family Relationships and Support Systems in Emerging Adulthood,” 193–217.

  6.William S. Aquilino, “From Adolescent to Young Adult: A Prospective Study of Parent-Child Relations during the Transition to Adulthood,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 59, no. 3 (1997): 683.

  7.Levine, The Price of Privilege, 70.

  8.Paul Taylor, Gretchen Livingston, Kim Parker, Wendy Wang and Daniel Dockterman, “Since the Start of the Great Recession, More Children Raised by Grandparents,” Pew Research Center’s Social & Demographic Trends Project, September 9, 2010, accessed November 10, 2012, http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/files/2010/10/764-children-raised-by-grandparents.pdf.

  9.Gillian Douglas and Neil Ferguson, “The Role of Grandparents in Divorced Families,” International Journal of Law, Policy and the Family 17, no. 1 (2003), 42.

  10.Taylor, et al., “Since the Start of the Great Recession,” 4.

  11.Douglas and Ferguson, “The Role of Grandparents in Divorced Families,” 61–62.

  12.Tamar Lewin, “Child’s Education, but Parents’ Crushing Loans,” New York Times, November 11, 2012, accessed November 12, 2012, http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/12/business/some-parents-shouldering-student-loans-fall-on-tough-times.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0.

  13.Kim Parker, “The Boomerang Generation: Feeling OK about Living with Mom and Dad,” Pew Social & Demographic Trends, March 15, 2012, accessed June 24, 2012, http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/files/2012/03/PewSocialTrends-2012-BoomerangGeneration.pdf.

  14.Rubén G. Rumbaut, “Young Adults in the United States: A Profile,” Research Network Working Paper No. 4 (2004): 6, accessed July 20, 2012, http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1887827.

  15.Ibid.

  16.Paul Taylor, Kim Parker, Rakesh Kochhar, Richard Fry, Cary Funk, Eileen Patten and Seth Motel, “Young, Underemployed and Optimistic: Coming of Age, Slowly, in a Tough Economy,” Pew Social & Demographic Trends, February 9, 2012, accessed April 6, 2012, http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/files/2012/02/young-underemployed-and-optimistic.pdf.

  Chapter 7:

  Standing By, Letting It Be and Letting Go

  1.Sharon Jayson, “Many ‘emerging adults’ 18–29 are not there yet,” USA Today, July 30, 2012, accessed August 15, 2012, http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/wellness/story/2012–07–30/Emerging-adults-18–29-still-attached-to-parents/56575404/1.

  2.Bill O’Hanlon, Do One Thing Different: Ten Simple Ways to Change Your Life (New York, NY: HarperCollins, 1999), 180.

  3.Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger, Letting Go: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years, 4th ed. (New York: HarperCollins, 2003), 210.

  4.Judith Viorst, Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow (New York, NY: Fireside, 1998), 222.

  Chapter 8:

  Second Time Around

  1.Jennifer Tanner and Scott Yabiku, “Conclusion: The Economics of Young Adulthood—One Future or Two?”
in Transitions to Adulthood in a Changing Economy: No Work, No Family, No Future? edited by Alan Booth, Ann C. Crouter and Michael Shanahan (Westport, CT: Praeger Publishers, 1999), 257.

  2.Kim Parker, “The Boomerang Generation: Feeling OK about Living with Mom and Dad,” Pew Social & Demographic Trends, March 15, 2012, accessed May 23, 2012, http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/files/2012/03/PewSocialTrends-2012-BoomerangGeneration.pdf.

  3.Michael Bradley, e-mail message to the author, August 28, 2012.

  4.Linda Gordon, “Adultescence: Helping twentysomethings leave the nest,” Psychotherapy Networker 29, no. 2 (2005): 74–76.

  5.Ibid., 76.

  6.Bradley, e-mail message to the author.

  7.Ibid.

  8.Ibid.

  9.Ibid.

  10.Ibid.

  11.Elina Furman, Boomerang Nation: How to Survive Living with Your Parents…the Second Time Around (New York, NY: Fireside, 2005).

  12.Varda Konstam, Emerging and Young Adulthood: Multiple Perspectives, Diverse Narratives (New York, NY: Springer Press, 2007), 98.

  13.Bradley, e-mail message to the author.

  14.William S. Aquilino, “Family Relationships and Support Systems in Emerging Adulthood,” quoted in Emerging Adults in America: Coming of Age in the 21st Century, edited by Jeffrey Jensen Arnett and Jennifer Lynn Tanner (Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 2006), 204.

  15.Terri Apter, The Myth of Maturity: What Teenagers Need from Parents to Become Adults (New York, NY: W. W. Norton & Company, Inc., 2001), 224–237.

  16.Bradley, e-mail message to the author.

  Chapter 9:

  Conflict and Your Emerging Adult

  1.William James, Goodreads.com, accessed May 2012, http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/15865.William_James.

 

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